THE PROBLEM OF UNCONTROLLED ANGER
"3 And in the process of time it came to pass that Cain brought an offering of the fruit of the ground to the Lord. 4 Abel also brought of the firstborn of his flock and of their fat. And the Lord respected Abel and his offering, 5 but He did not respect Cain and his offering. And Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. 6 So the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.” 8 Now Cain talked with Abel his brother; and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him." Genesis 4:3-8.
Cain and Abel had been taught the right way of worshipping God. They knew that He required a sacrificial offering. But, when the time came for them to present their offerings, only one brother was obedient. Hence God accepted Abel and his offering, but He rejected Cain and his offering. As a result of this, Cain became very angry. He was angry at God and jealous of his brother. The jealousy of Abel drove Cain into a raging hatred. One day, as they were in the field together, Cain rose up and murdered his brother. Thus the first human born into the world became a murderer because he did not control his anger. Uncontrolled anger is dangerous.
“Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control” Proverbs 25:28. In ancient times, cities were often guarded from enemies by high thick walls. Walls provided security and shield. So broken walls are of no use! It made the city defenceless and open for attack! In the same way, a man or woman who cannot control his anger lacks self-control, is vulnerable, defenceless and open to enemy's attacks.
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared” Proverbs 22:24-25. Anger leads to more anger. So you should not spend time with a person who is easily angered. Whenever you associate with angry people you're wounding your soul.
WHAT IS ANGER?
Anger is an emotion! It is in everybody; everyone gets angry from time to time. Anger is often identified by feelings of displeasure, resentment, rage and reprisal. It is a reaction against someone we feel has wronged, offended and hurt us or someone close to us. There are going to be circumstances in life when we will get angry. It is when we let that anger grow uncontrolled to where it causes us to sin that it becomes destructive.
i. You can express it. This is when you want to hit out at someone, destroy things and hurt others.
ii. You can suppress it. To suppress is to bottled up or keep it inside. Anger that is bottled up hurts and keeps on hurting. A great number of people walk around daily with smiles on their faces, but just under the surface, there's a raging anger is waiting to explode. Internalizing your anger is just as wrong as expressing it.
ii. You can tell God about it and choose not to vent it. You can channel your anger in a constructive way.
Uncontrolled anger is one of the contributing factors to the destruction of homes, wastage of opportunities and tearing apart churches. It has led to meaningless violence, messy divorce, broken relationships, wounded hearts, heartless murder, heart-breaking suicides, and verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. It is a major cause of health problems and lack of productivity in the workplace. Unrestrained anger plans revenge. Many erratic behaviours occur when you bottled up anger. Uncontrolled anger sends a signal you're not responsible. It results to fighting and quarrelling. Untamed anger blocks God’s blessings. It chases away your destiny helpers.
CAUSES OF ANGER?
1. Injustice.
2. Strife.
3. Impatience.
4. Envy and Jealousy.
5. Insecurity.
6. Fear of confrontation.
7. Abuse-physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, and mental.
8. Unmet expectations.
9. Tension from past hurts.
10. Pain of rejection.
11. False accusations.
12. Being belittled.
13. When you cannot have your way.
14. Inherited tendencies.
15. Defence mechanism.
16. Trauma or loss.
17. Neglect or Abandonment as a child.
18. Unwillingness to accept responsibility.
CONSEQUENCES OF UNCONTROLLED ANGER
1. You miss your opportunity and place in destiny.
2. It affects your health.
Uncontrolled anger can lead to stress, depression, and other mental health issues. It makes you more vulnerable to heart disease, diabetes, a weakened immune system, insomnia, and high blood pressure.
3. Damages relationships with others. It affects your judgment and have a negative impact on the way people see you. Untamed anger makes it difficult for others to trust, speak truthfully or feel comfortable around you.
4. It slows the body’s healing process.
5. Uncontrolled anger will lead to all kinds of outbursts that causes regret.
6. It can lead to murder. Genesis 4:5-7.
7. Anger can lead us to tear down others with our words. Matthew 5:22.
8. It leads to quarrelling and strife. Proverbs 15:18.
9. Anger often leaves in its wake wounded people and broken relationships.
10. Anger leads us to hold on to bitterness. Bitterness is an unwillingness to forgive. Ephesians 4:31.
11. Uncontrolled anger destroys our relationship with God.
12. It introduce and increases a fear of being hurt.
13. Uncontrolled anger lead to sadness, loneliness and anxiety.
14. It contribute to drinking, gambling and other addictive behaviours.
15. Uncontrolled anger can be a major source of marital distress and unhappiness.
16. Uncontrollable anger will shorten your life.
TO CONTROL ANGER?
1. Admit your anger. You must accept the fact. Ask those around you if they sense anger in you.
2. Deal with it. Confess. Walk in repentance. Get to the source of your anger. Search your heart. Be honest.
3. Think before you speak. Words can fuel or diffuse anger! Angry words, written or spoken, can be regretted but can never be undone. Their effects can be felt for a lifetime! So delay your response. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything. State your concerns clearly and directly.
4. Make healthy relationship your priority: Maintaining and strengthening it, rather than trying to win all the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her opinion.
5. Identify possible solution. Work on resolving issues. Anger won’t fix anything; might only make it worse.
6. Focus on the present. Rather than looking to past mistakes, focus on what you can do to solve the issues.
7. Don’t hold a grudge.
8. Be slow to anger.
9. Get counselling. Proverbs 11:14.
10. Avoid angry people. Proverbs 22:24. Angry people make other people angry.
11. Walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:18-24. You can daily walk in the Spirit, and by so doing, your life will be marked by love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
12. Be patient. Patience does not come naturally for most; we want what we want, and we want it immediately. Waiting a few moments to react and remaining patient throughout the issues can prevent a lifetime of regret.
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” Proverb 16:32.
It has rightly been said, “Anger is one letter short of danger!” Everyone experiences anger, some more extreme and frequent than others. So what we do with it is what matters. We're not to let our anger go deeper. We're to deal with the issues that causes it that very day, if possible. Don't internalize it! When you bottled up your anger, you deny it’s there and this leads to resentment, hate and depression. Ask for God's help. He wants to help you to overcome. Spend time in prayer. Focus on forgiveness. Love people. Stop focusing on mistakes. Read the word of God daily. Get rid of hatred. Apologize when you are wrong. Don’t judge! Kill the quest for vengeance. Break its grip on your life! Nothing can rob your peace and destroy relationship more than anger.
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” Ephesians 4:31–32.
Are you saved? If you are not so sure make a decision today: LORD Jesus, I come to You right now. I know I am a sinner, please forgive me. With my mouth, I declare that Jesus, from today, I accept You as the LORD of my life. Change my heart from a disobedient heart to a heart that will obey You. With my new heart, I believe that it is because of me that You came into this world; You died for my sins, take away my problems, fill me with Your Holy Spirit, write my name in the Book of Life, and make me brand new in Jesus name.
PRAYER POINTS:
1. Father, show me how to deal with anger, in Jesus name.
2. O Lord, give me Your love and the mind of Christ, in Jesus name.
3. Father, help me to relate to people with love, patience, grace and gentleness, in Jesus name.
4. O Lord, teach me to control my anger, to have patience and to forgive, in Jesus name.
5. Father, I ask for Your help to recognize and deal with any unresolved anger in my life, in Jesus name.
6. O Lord, help me to learn to deal with my emotions in a godly way, in Jesus name.
7. O Lord I confess all my anger and bitterness. Forgive me today, in Jesus name.
8. Cast me not away from Your presence O Lord! Take not thy Holy Spirit from me, restore unto me the joy of my salvation and renew a right Spirit within me, in Jesus name.
9. Father, forgive the outbursts of anger in my heart and cleanse me from all unrighteousness, in Jesus name.
10. Forgive me, O Lord for the pain my anger has caused to others, in Jesus name.
11. Examine my heart, O Lord and root out all the bitterness and resentment, in Jesus name.
12. O Lord, help me to love my enemies and to be good to those who hate me, in Jesus name.
13. Father, comfort me in every situation that brings pain and trouble to my soul, in Jesus name.
14. Thank you, O Lord, for answering my prayers.
