WHY QUARREL WHEN THERE IS SO MUCH TO REJOICE ABOUT
Do you remember the last time you had a quarrel with someone close to you? If you don’t remember, that may be a good thing as long as you don’t claim that you’ve never had such a quarrel.
An elderly parishioner bragged to me, “Me and my wife were married for sixty years, and we never had a quarrel.” At the supper table that evening, I told my wife what he said, and she replied, “Any man who would lie about that would lie about other things too.”
Quarreling has its place, but certainly should not become a pattern of life, as with an old grouch whose wife could not please him no matter what she did. He quarreled about everything. She decided one day that on that day she would do anything he asked to try to please him for just one day.
When he came into the kitchen that morning, she asked, “How would you like your eggs . . . one fried and one scrambled . . . did exactly as he ordered . . . just sat there, staring at the eggs, with a scowl on his face . . . Now, what’ the matter? . . . You fried the wrong one.”
Quarreling in the church was especially displeasing to the Apostle Paul who, on writing his epistle of joy - Philippians - touched on the issue briefly in a way that begged the question, “Why quarrel when there is so much to rejoice about?”
All we know about the two women mentioned by Paul in Philippians (4:2-3) is their names – Euodia and Syntyche. The summary of their life’s story was that they quarreled . . . Suppose all that was ever said about your life was that you and a sister (brother) in Christ quarreled with each other? How would that make you feel?
Apparently, Paul felt “put out” with these two women and their inability to resolve their differences amicably, so he decided to “brush aside” their quarreling and focus instead on the positive aspect of how Christians ought to live - in joy - a state of being which would preclude wasting time on quarreling.
“So, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ, considering all that God has done, is doing, and will do (your past, present, and future of living in joy), here’s what I say to you: Rejoice in the Lord at all times. Let me say it again: Rejoice! Let your moderation (gentleness) be known to everyone. After all, the Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:4-5)
Folks, how near to you is the Lord? Isn’t He as near to you spiritually as is your physical heart that beats within your chest? Think about it. You have “the joy” . . . the love of Jesus . . . the peace that passes understanding in your heart.
Let me say it another way: At the inner core of your spiritual being is Jesus. His presence influences you . . . encourages you . . . motivates you to manifest a gentle spirit (a spirit of reasonableness) in your interactions with everyone.
Christian joy is independent of all other things in your life (things material and temporal) because Christian joy has its source in the constant presence of Christ . . .
“There is never a day so dreary, there is never a night so long, but the soul that is trusting Jesus will somewhere find a song. Wonderful, wonderful Jesus, in the heart He implants a song: a song of deliverance, of courage, of strength, in the heart He implants a song.”
A born-again Christian never loses that joy because such a Christian never loses sight of Jesus Christ. Our focus may become a bit blurry due to distractions that cloud our thinking, but the constant presence of Christ is always there to help us regain our focus.
Even though he was sitting in prison, distracted by all the negativity swirling about him, constantly chained to a Roman guard, the joy never left Paul because of the constant presence of Christ. He focused on Jesus despite his difficulties.
In good times and bad times, the nearness of the Lord to me, plus my close relationship to Him, brightens my path and lightens my load. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.”
It’s those “shadows” that cause a lot of folks a lot of worry throughout life’s journey. There are things we worry about over which we have little or no control. So much of what we worry about never materializes the way we “knew” it would. Said Mark Twain, “I’m an old man, and I have known many problems in my life, most of which never happened."
Do you worry excessively about things before they happen? Paul has a message for you: Stop the worrying, pray about everything, replace your worry with peace – Philippians 4:6-7 . . .
To live in joy is to live a life of prayer. Makes sense, doesn’t it? If you love someone dearly, you seek to communicate with the one you love. If you love the Lord, prayer is your method of communicating your thoughts, requests, desires, needs, and your thanks. Keep that line of communication open!
Paul tells us to pray about everything because prayer is our opportunity to overcome anxiety . . . to get rid of tension . . . to cope with the fear of disease and death . . . to have lasting peace - the absence of conflict, the presence of serenity.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” (R. Niebuhr)
To ask God for absence of conflict and the presence of serenity is one thing, but to help bring it about is quite another.
As with any worthwhile endeavor in which we are given the opportunity to “work together with God” to become a better and stronger person, we can count on God to do His part, but there is always that condition: we must do our part.
And so it is: To maintain peace that surpasses understanding, our part is to cultivate right thinking for right doing – Philippians 4:8-9 . . .
Paul almost sounds political here as he makes a pitch for “peace through strength”, except that he’s not proposing the strength of military might as the antidote to conflict.
Rather, the old apostle is promising peace through strength of character – and where does character originate? In one’s mind.
An old proverb says: “Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.” Another proverb: “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”
We might say, therefore, that the spiritual battle for peace occurs in one’s mind. When we think right thoughts, we do right things, and when we do right things, we find ourselves at peace with God . . . others . . . ourselves. (Did you ever hear it said, “You are your own worst enemy”?) So, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ:
Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
A person whose character reflects the person of Jesus Christ is destined to live in joy and peace in Christ.
Jesus lived a life that was true to his calling and convictions . . . honorable and worthy of respect, even the respect of those who did not like him . . . just in dealing with others . . . pure within, yes, but was manifested in daily conduct . . . lovely, therefore winsome . . . morally virtuous, therefore commendable to those who wished to be like Him . . . praiseworthy, not shameful.
Neither should we ever be ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God unto salvation to all who believe! As we continue life’s journey, Lord, let us live day by day in such a way that our lives will reflect the person of Jesus Christ so that, subsequently, our destiny will be peace with God. Amen.
