THE POWER OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
"The mouth of the righteous speaks wisdom, And his tongue talks of justice." Psalm 37:30.
Effective communication skills can be developed and experienced when our mouths are full of God’s wisdom.
"Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad." Proverbs 12:25.
A good word shared or spoken by someone can lift up another person who is suffering. In other words, good communication involves being aware of the struggles of others and helping to ease their pains. The Lord wants us to build each other up, speaking words of life and affirmation over one another, and bad language will never accomplish that. As a matter of fact, it creates negative labels and responses in the hearer, and it can actually destroy communication between individuals. We should be a godly example to everyone around us.
"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." Proverbs 25:11.
Words do not only lift up and encourage others, but they have value. They can be precious and so meaningful when spoken at the right moment.
"The words of a wise man’s mouth are gracious, but the lips of a fool shall swallow him up;" Ecclesiastes 10:12.
Wise and kind words are of great benefit on every occasion, and they will even grant us favour.
"But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth." Colossians 3:8.
We must put away anything from our mouth that is not good. These words will tear down and destroy relationships and people, so the Lord forbids us from expressing ourselves in these ways.
One of the most significant purposes of communication is to solve problems and build relationships. It is the greatest factor in building and strengthening marriages. Communication breathes life into every relationship.
INTRODUCTION:
According to the Oxford Online Dictionary: Communication is the activity or process of expressing ideas and feelings or giving information. In essence, communication is giving and receiving messages. Everything that we do or say sends a message. There is verbal and non verbal communication. The tone of your voice, body language, and facial expressions are communicating a message. Communication is the art of passing across news, information, feeling or messages. It can build a marriage, church, ministry, business, or friendship. If we say the wrong things we produce contention. Communication is a building block of any successful relationship.
Every troubled relationship is a sign of communication problem. Without proper communication conflict intensifies, and relationships decline and eventually die. Parents and children must daily engage in healthy communication. Husbands and wives must communicate effectively. In the church, community, or workplace, one of the most important skills to possess is good communication. Without a healthy communication, a marriage or any relationship in the church, the workplace, or anywhere else can never be productive.
WHAT IS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION?
Effectiveness is the capability of producing a desired result or the ability to produce desired output. A communication is said to be effective when all the parties involved, attach the same meanings to the message and listen carefully to what have been said and make the sender feel heard and understood. It is a communication between two or more people in which the intended or deliberate message is successfully delivered, received and understood. The ability to communicate effectively with clients and colleagues is essential. To communicate well is to understand, and be understood. Effective communication skills help you absorb information and express your ideas in a clear, concise and meaningful way. Being able to deliver messages clearly and understand other people means work can be completed more effectively. A poorly delivered information or message may result in misunderstanding, frustration and in some cases separation.
There is so much frustration in relationship because of failure to effectively communicate. Misunderstandings can be avoided when there is effective communication. Studies show that couples who communicate frequently have a more fulfilling relationship. Intimacy is one of the signs of effective communication. Intimacy is closeness. When there is no intimacy, a gap is created, and when a gap is created, the enemy is given the chance to come in. The more you communicate, the closer you become. The more you communicate the more familiar you become with each other. The more you communicate the more you know each other better. When there's effective communication love is stirs up. Good communication requires action, discipline, and patience.
HOW CAN WE COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY?
1. Have a daily relationship with God.
Relationship is being with someone. It is about communication. When we have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, life gets exciting because He stirs up a passion inside us to love people. But a true loving relationship with God does not happen overnight. It’s a process that takes time to grow and develop.
Start with God before you switch on your phone. Have a devotional or quiet time. Seek Him with your heart. Enter into His gate with thanksgiving, praise and worship. Read and meditate on the Bible. Have faith. Spend time in prayer. Prayer is a two way communication. When we communicate with God through prayer He'll show you. Prayer brings God into our relationships! Surrender your mouth, words, and conversation to Him. "I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me," John 10:14.
2. Guide your heart.
The heart is the control room of the body. Hence it is important we guard it. Proverbs 4:23. Our words and actions flow from the heart. Words are a reflection of what is in our hearts. “…for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.” Matthew 12:34. So if you are bitter towards a person, your words will have a negative effect on the person. A person who says perverse things, has a perverse heart. A person who says healthy things, has a healthy heart. A person who says sick and mean things, has a sick heart. Before starting a conversation ask yourself the motives. James 3:16. Examine your heart. Ask for forgiveness. Be saved.
3. Do not harbour unforgiveness.
No effective communication until forgiveness has taken place. Learn the secret of instant forgiveness. Forgive as soon as you are offended, whether the offender asks for it or not. Confess your own faults. James 1:19.
4. Choose not to remember the wrong things.
Holding on to past conflict prevents present communication. When you forgive others do not bring up their shortcomings again. Colossians 3:13; Proverbs 21:9, 19.
5. Communicate clearly.
Not communicating clearly will lead to others forming untrue assumptions and misunderstandings. So work constantly on your clarity, and ask for confirmation that you’re being understood. Make your points plain.
6. Learn to listen.
Communication is about sharing and exchanging ideas and opinions. Be the person who listens. Listen a lot. God gave us two ears and one mouth, we should listen more than we talk. When we listen, we need to do it on purpose, intelligently, with our entire being. It demonstrates that you honour the other person enough to consider what they are sharing with you. To effectively listen, we need to give the other person our full attention. Quieting your thoughts. Listening conveys a willingness to hear the other person’s point of view.
Don’t interrupt when the other person is talking. Allow others to give you constructive feedback. Try to block out distractions. Don't focus on what you will say next, just listen. Stay focused on the conversation.
7. Tame your tongue.
Be careful what you say and how you say it. Think before you talk. Talk less. Sometimes the wisest thing to do is silence. Proverbs 10:19. We often get in trouble because we just don’t know when to keep quiet. Don’t be argumentative. Proverbs 25:24. Don’t be quick to speak. Proverbs 15:28, James 1:19. Don’t try to impose your own opinion. Proverbs 18:2. Don’t speak rashly. Proverbs 13:3. Choose your words wisely. James 1:20.
8. Don't make assumptions.
Making assumptions is the same as judging another’s thoughts, motives or behaviour. The Bible is very clear that we're not to judge others. Hence seek first to understand what the other person is saying and make sure the other person feels understood. Do not jump to conclusions. Do not be judgmental. Hear their stories before making up and spreading the stories! Having assumptions about the other person that may or may not be true hinders listening and communication. Do not form your own impressions about others. Hear the story!
9. Show some respect.
Don’t scroll your phone while someone is speaking to you. Be courteous. Be constrictive, and respectful. Make sure you are not giving off negative signals or an insensitive tone. Show some encouragement. Be considerate.
10. Be slow to anger. Proverbs 29:22.
More hurtful words are spoken when we're angry than at any other time. Don’t be so quick to get angry. People may say cruel things but we must be calm. Do not overreact! Don't resort to name calling. Manage your anger.
11. Purposely set time aside for communication.
Communication takes a commitment of time. Observe the principle of timing. Make an effort to have time as often as you can to communicate with those close to you. Choose appropriate time to bring up certain issues.
12. Tell the truth in love.
We're commanded to love. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Without love hearts harden. Ephesians 4:15. Be open and honest. Always communicate without blame; always show the love of Christ! This will build communication and trust. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails … And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13.
13. Strive for peace.
Don’t communicate with harshness, rashness, or anger. Speak the truth in love and then entrust it to God. Avoid name calling, labelling, pride, and quarrel. Learn to walk away for some minutes.
14. Focus on the interests of others.
Show interest in others. Give your time, ask questions, and listen. Be understanding.
Are you careful with how you communicate to others? Are you mindful of the words that you use? Is your speech edifying or demeaning? Are you choosing your words thoughtfully, taking every opportunity to encourage? Are your words sweetening the lives of those who hear or read them?
"29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:29-32.
The word translated “corrupt” in Ephesians 4:29 comes from the Greek word sapros meaning “rotten,” “unfit for use,” or “worthless.” We are not to use rotten words, but words that are edifying to those who hear them. One careless statement can provoke a conflict. A mean or hateful word can break ones heart! Choose your words. God's desire is for us to communicate in a way that will build relationships, and bring glory to Him. Let’s make it our daily habit to use a kind tone of voice, courteous approach, humble spirit, and edifying words.
"Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." Colossians 4:6.
PRAYER POINTS:
1. Father, give me the wisdom to choose my words wisely, in Jesus name.
2. O Lord, I thank you for giving me guidance on how to communicate effectively with others, in Jesus name.
3. Father, help me to hold my tongue, even when I’m angry. Help me to know exactly what to say so that I can glorify you in the way I communicate with others, in Jesus name.
4. O Lord, I ask that You help me to grow in the area of communication, in Jesus name.
5. Father, help me not to be selfish, but rather help me to keep others in mind, in Jesus name.
6. O Lord, may Your words be on our lips daily, in Jesus name.
7. Father, help me to carefully craft my words so they impart life and encourage others, in Jesus name.
8. O Lord, help me to honour You with everything I say, in Jesus name.
9. Father, remind me to always season my speech with grace! Teach me to speak the truth, but to speak it in love, in Jesus name.
10. Thank God for answering your prayers.
