TRUE LOVE FORGIVES - AS NEEDED . . . AS PRESCRIBED
How often have you gone to see a doctor and come away with a prescribed medication to be taken as needed? Thirty days later you go back to the pharmacy for a refill. You repeat the process for the rest of your life because that particular med is for maintenance of your physical and emotional well-being.
We spend much of our lives doing what the doctor tells us to do - if we want to maintain the highest attainable level of health for living life to the fullest extent permitted by our physical condition and personal situation. To that end, we follow the advice of a physician in whom we trust.
Similarly, if we aim to maintain the highest level of spiritual health possible, in order to keep from living out our days in misery, we ought to heed the advice of our Great Physician whose remedies were given to us in parabolic prescriptions.
Today we focus on one such prescribed remedy many folks find so costly and so hard to swallow that we become hesitant to follow through on it, if not resistant to it. In His parable of the unmerciful servant, Jesus used the teaching technique of exaggeration to make His point that, where love reigns, forgiveness is practiced as needed, but with one caveat: as prescribed – Matthew 18:21-35 . . .
A client of mine was prescribed a medication to be taken four times a day - as needed. About half way through the month, he ran out of it, then implored me to intervene on his behalf to get the doctor to refill it earlier than the permissible date.
My client’s problem was that he had taken the med “as needed” in his sight not “as prescribed” by the doctor. Don’t you suppose some folks choose to misinterpret the doctor’s orders on purpose, to suit oneself?
Prior to this particular parable, Jesus had been talking to his disciples about making things right with friends they might be at odds with. Peter was not satisfied with Jesus’ remedy, so he tried to influence Jesus to come up with a mathematical formula to be applied to any uncomfortable situation which required reconciliation.
Peter wanted a number . . . a limit . . . a point at which he could draw a line “in the sand” and say, “Okay, that’s it. I’m done with you. Our friendship is over. You go your way and I’ll go mine.” Peter even thought he would be magnanimous and suggest, not “three times” as he had been taught by the rabbis, but double that number plus one for good measure – seven times – to forgive someone!
Uh-oh! Time to employ the technique of exaggeration! Peter is trying to put a number on doing the right thing . . . limit his Christian responsibility . . . get his physician to prescribe a less rigorous regimen for making amends with friends.
Jesus could have said to Peter something like I might say: The way I feel about it is - God forgave me when I repented of my sin and received Jesus Christ into my life as Lord and Savior. I am therefore a “sinner saved by grace” (“saint”).
As a forgiven child of God, I forgive those who sin against me, whether they repent or not. This qualifies me to ask God to forgive me my trespasses.
Whether or not God forgives me this time depends on my truthfulness . . . my trustworthiness . . . my transparency. For, you see, God knows whether or not, in my heart, I am forgiving or unforgiving.
A forgiving heart is what God wants for each one of us who belong to the Family of God.
Instead of being academic with Peter and the other disciples by engaging in a theological exposition on forgiveness, Jesus told a parable in which he contrasted the forgiving heart with the unforgiving heart.
The servant who received mercy in spite of a debt that could never be paid was the recipient of an act of grace – a totally undeserved pardon.
Yet, when the recipient of his master’s “unmerited favor” had a chance to act gracefully himself toward a friend indebted to him, he botched it so badly - extracting a “pound of flesh” from his friend, whose debt amounted to almost nothing compared to the debt for which he himself had been forgiven - that the news of his ungrateful act of revenge made its way through the grape vine until it reached the king who was so infuriated he forfeited the unmerciful servant’s pardon, allowing him to wallow in misery of his own making.
The moral of the story is that our merciful God does not take lightly to His children acting as if their personal comfort, peace of mind, enjoyment, happiness, freedom is all that matters. No!
Folks who receive forgiveness but refuse to forgive others are, of all people, most miserable, living in the prison of an unforgiving heart, starving for affection from others that they are not willing to give to others, living out their days angry, with bitterness eating away at them from the insides out - ruminating about past injustices and grievances.
Why would right-thinking persons lock themselves in isolation chambers of loneliness where they are tortured incessantly because they have walled themselves in by an unwillingness to forgive – when the remedy is clear: Make things right with God and make things right with others, the very act of which makes things right with oneself, thereby setting a self-made “prisoner” free!
Why stay angry . . . allow bitterness to drain your energy . . . seethe with the emotion of unresolved issues? Why not follow the advice Jesus gave: “If a brother sins against you, go, show him his fault - just between the two of you. If he listens, you have won your brother over.”
Forgiving is not saying, “Oh, that’s okay. Just forget it; let’s continue to be friends.” No. To forgive is more like saying, “You said or did something that really hurt me. I care enough to talk to you face-to-face. It’s not that I’m seeking revenge. It’s that I need to tell you: I forgive you.”
Why not follow Paul’s advice? “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
We need to heed C. S. Lewis’ instruction: “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
Ernest Hemingway, in a short story, tells of a Spanish father and son who had stopped talking to each other. Things got so bad, the son left home. After a few years, the father set out in search of his son so as to mend the relationship. He looked everywhere.
When he came to the capital city of Madrid, the father decided to go to the newspaper office and take out a big ad in the newspaper that read: “Paco, please meet me at Noon tomorrow in front of the newspaper building – all is forgiven. I love you, Your Father.” The next day at Noon, when the father arrived, there were hundreds of men named Paco standing in front of the newspaper building!
Is there a “Paco” in your life? Are you yourself a “Paco”? Remember this: The sins others commit toward us are always small compared to the sins we have committed against God. Yet, God forgives us. Why should we not forgive!
Truly forgiven people, almost without exception, become forgiving people. And you don’t have to forget in order to forgive. The memory of the sin is there, but the bitterness is left behind.
To forgive is like saying to someone (whether dead or alive), “I felt hurt by what you said . . . did; but now that I’ve prayed about it, I promise to no longer hold it against you.” Once the promise is made, be sure to keep the promise. To forgive is to make the promise. To forget is to keep the promise. The rest is up to Father God!
Forgiving is Christ-like. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Forgetting is God-like. “I will cast your sins into the depths of the deepest sea, remembering them no more.” Our personal acts of forgiving and forgetting are sure signs of the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
True love forgives - as needed, as prescribed! There is no end to such love! “Now abides faith, hope, love – these three. The greatest of these is love!” Amen.
