Love Is Patient
Video Bumper - I want to know what love is
I want to know what love is… Yeh, what a great song (a classic song from 1984)…
AND – do you know what? It’s an even greater question.
ONE – we began answering last Sunday as we kicked off our new series,
AND UNDERSTAND - as I said last week this is an extremely critical study for us both as individual Jesus-followers and as a church.
• Because nothing is more important than love (in fact without love according 1 Corinthians 13:1-3… what you say, what you know, what you give, what you sacrifice, what you accomplish and even your faith does not matter… gains you nothing)
• Because nothing is more powerful than love (love has the power to change people, and love has the power to show the world that Jesus is real and that we are His followers)
• Because nothing is more needed then love…
Needed in - our world and in our homes, marriages, community and relationships) than a bunch of people living out God’s kind of love. It’s what the world needs NOW?
AND LISTEN – last Sunday in a message called ‘The Unrelenting Love of God we saw that any attempt to answer the question…
I want to know what love is
Must begin with a discussion about God’s love, because as the apostle John writes…
We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. – 1 John 4:16
UNDERSTAND B/S - our God does not just love, but He is love.
And since God is eternal and always existing, LOVE is eternal and always existing.
In the beginning was LOVE… actually before the beginning there was God’s love.
YOU SEE – the truth is God’s love is both love the foundation and the very reason for our existence… LOVE – is why we are here… LOVE is what compelled creation.
He chose us before the world was made so that we would be his holy people—people without blame before him. Because of his love, God had already decided to make us his own children through Jesus Christ. That was what he wanted and what pleased him, - Ephesians 1:4-6
AND – never MGCC that God’s Love is…
• A love that is unconditional and beyond reason
• A love that delights in you
• A love that is for you
• A love that pays attention to you
• A love the unrelentingly pursues you.
There's no shadow He won't light up
Mountain He won't climb up
Coming after You
There's no wall He won't kick down
Lie He won't tear down
Coming after You
Pray
HEY – so let’s do this… let the unpacking begin…
Love is patient… - 1 Corinthians 13:4
HEY – I know you have probably heard some of this stuff before.
BUT – has your hearing resulted in real, tangible, noticeable ways.
LISTEN – I want to encourage to approach this morning and the comings weeks as we talk about what LOVE IS differently…
I want you to listen and lean in differently… with your heart and mind open, determined to live out God’s kind of love in deeper ways than you ever have before… for your good and His glory! Can you do that? Will you do that?
HEY - don't you wish the world, was a perfect place?
I MEAN - in a perfect world…
• Chocolate would have no calories.
• Procrastination would be an honored as a virtue.
• Teenagers would rather clean their rooms than be on their phones
• Politicians would pay us taxes.
• Children on long road trips would say, "Isn't riding in the car fun?" and then they'd go to sleep.
• Candy would be considered a vegetable
• There would never be any delays on Hwy 29
• No one would cut you off in traffic
• Gas would always be 50 cents a gallon
• Computers would never have problems
• Everyone would always be on time
• Your team would always win
• Snow would fall on the ground and not the roads
• You’d never loose your keys, wallet, checkbook or debit card…
• And you’re happy meals would always have an extra nugget in them.
BUT - unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world.
THAT’S WHY – everyday you and I are going to face things that are going to test our patience…
QUESTION - have you ever felt your patience being tested?
Was it tested at any time during the past week?
Like were there any moments when you felt like you were losing it, or actually did?
(“Hey where did it go, my patience was just here”)
NOW – I want to attack today’s conversation by unpacking 3 statements…
• Things that test our patience
• Why patience is so foundational
• Developing your makrothymia
Tests Of Our Patience
OKAY…
SO - there are basically four categories of things, that test our patience, and they all start with the letter “I” – how convenient, right?
AND LISTEN – it’s good to know the things that test our patience… BECAUSE THEN - we will recognize and be ready whenever those inevitable tests come our way.
OKAY…
SO - one of the things that test our patience is…
I. Tests of our patience…
A) Interruptions
YOU KNOW - what I mean you sit down to dinner and the phones rings. You’re ready to pop into the shower and someone knocks on the bathroom door…
OR – you’re working on a deadline…
AND AFTER days of struggling to put 2 coherent thoughts together you are finally in a grove…
I MEAN – it looks like you are going to make it just in time…
AND THEN – someone pops their head around the corner… (‘do you have a minute’)…
UNDERSTAND MGCC – our best plans are often interrupted… and this tests our patience.
B) Inconveniences;
QUESTION - how do you deal with the inconveniences of life?
WE - Americans hate to be delayed.
We’re the ‘Now Generation,’ We have a microwave mentality. We want what we want and we want it yesterday.
WE HAVE - minute rice, instant coffee, instant potatoes, instant messages and instagram...
A hundred years ago people didn’t worry if they missed a stage coach. AFTER ALL - they could always catch another one in a week or two. Today we almost have a heart attack, if we miss a green light.
We’re in such a hurry.....
The third test of your patience is…
C) Irritations....
YOU KNOW - those little things in life that just get under your skin. QUESTION - how do you handle…
traffic jams, long lines, slow computers, lost data, jammed copiers, empty cereal boxes, misplaced keys, cold food, late planes, flat tires, occupied bathrooms, empty toilet paper rolls?
NOW - some of these irritations are controllable and some aren’t.
SO - we need to learn to deal with them without flipping out. AND - that takes patience.
A fourth test of your patience is…
D) Inactivity
YEAH - most of us would rather do anything then wait…
While working on this MSG I spent what seemed to me ‘days’ waiting for my laptop and my wireless printer to talk to each other so I could print something out for Mei-Leigh…
It nearly killed me.
QUESTION – so here, enjoys waiting?
Did you know that you will spend ~ 6 months of your life sitting at red lights waiting for them to turn green?
AND – have you noticed, how we always admire patience in drivers who are behind us, but not so much in those who are ahead of us? Go figure…
QUESTION - how many of you this week...
NOW - this is a safe place. If you're a guest, this is a safe place for you. Welcome home. How many of you this week found yourself trying to download a document, a picture, a video…something.
AND THEN - gave up because it wasn't moving fast enough?
Think of how crazy that is. "Oh, man. I've been waiting for like 18 seconds. R U kidding me, I don’t have time for this."
Right? It's crazy.
YEAH – there is no doubt about it… despite the fact that things are moving faster and faster all of the time… We live in a world that is perpetually impatient. "This isn't fast enough. This is taking way to long."
HEY – does anyone out there recognize this sound…
(AOL dial up)
AND – do you know what else, I can remember?
Having conversations about things that had no resolution.
NOW - here's what I mean by that.
It's only been in the very last 12+ years of human existence that we've been able to be at dinner with friends and go,
If you have a smart phone get ready.
(BTW – first mobile phone was the 8000x and it came out in March of 1984… cost $4,000 dollars, weighed 2 pounds and took 10 hours to charge for 30 minutes of talk time.
Now the smartphone revolution did really take off until Steve Job’s made available the first iphone in June 0f 2007)
It's only been in the very last 12+ years of human existence that we've been able to be at dinner with friends and go, If you have a smart phone get ready. Shout out the answer once you find it
Hey, when did Missouri become a state?”
And - actually get an answer to that. (August 10, 1821)
How much does the Statue of Liberty weigh? (225 tons)
What president served the shortest amount of time?
(William Henry Harrison, 9th President 32 days – died of pneumonia… also gave the longest inaugural address 1 hr 45 minutes in the bitter cold)
UNDERSTAND – 13+ years ago, you couldn't just pull something out of your pocket and in a matter of seconds find the answer. Right?
LISTEN - that's brand new.
LIKE - that has never existed before in the history of mankind. This instant access to information.
Yet we're perpetually aggravated and impatient, go figure.
QUESTION…
HOW - many of you have yelled at a device in the last month?
LIKE HAS - anybody yelled at their phone, ipad, computer, printer?
Doesn't that make you crazy?
BUT - think about how crazy that is.
YOU KNOW - when I was in college and had to do research, I went to a place called a li-bra-ry, and I had to go to what is called a card catalog. It was arranged via something called the Dewey Decimal System.
AND - here's what I had to do. If I wanted to go do that work in some other place, I had to take the book and make copies of pages in the book.
There was no PDF.
There was no, "Let me email that to myself."
NO - I had to make copies of it, and it cost me money.
AND LISTEN - you would never got the book right the first time, so you had to throw away the first seven pages. That cost you 45 cents, which might as well be $1 million when you're a freshman in college – with a family of 4 waiting tables at a Perkins at night. I MEAN - that's two packages of Ramen noodles, man. That's staying alive.
SO - everything has gotten faster and easier, and it has only served to frustrate us and make us less patient.
YEAH - waiting is hard… Ask Joseph (20 years) David (18 years) Jesus (30 years) Moses (40 years) and Noah (120 years)
QUESTION - How do you handle inactivity? Does it irritate you? Upset you? Do you loose your cool?
NOW - you can learn a lot about people, by watching how they wait for an elevator. Some people are swayers; they kind of sway back and for - some are pacers and shufflers....
Others are pushers - the keep pushing the button.....
YES - everyday our patience is put to the test…
HEY - I bet it happened to some of you this morning… Sometimes I think there is a Sunday morning demon that visits families on Sunday when they are trying to get ready for church. Raise your hands if your patience was tested this morning?
WHICH – brings us to a 5th thing that tests our patience.
YEAH – I know I said there were only four and that they all start with the letter ‘I.’ I lied – there’s 5 and this last one starts with ‘P.’ Does that Irritate you?
E) People
QUESTION – do people ever test your patience?
I don’t even need to ask, do I?
Just ask my wife….?
NOW – I am sure that if I had a huge whiteboard up here and I asked you what are the things that irritate you the most about other people we would fill that sucker up in no time…
WE’RE – not going to do that…
INSTEAD – we’ll just say that PEOPLE –
like (interruptions, inconveniences, irritations and inactivity) test our patience.
The NEXT point in your notes is;
II. Patience Is Foundational
Foundational to what? To our relationships.
Which is what this entire thing – is what life is about, right?
Our relationship other people.
AND LISTEN – hears the deal…
People will never see Christ or His love in your impatience…
QUESTION – when you encounter an impatient person…
LIKE - is your first thought… “Oh my, what a loving person, they must know and follow Jesus?”
AND LISTEN – I am convinced that because patience is so foundational… is why when Paul grabbed his brush and began painting that timeless portrait of God’s kind of love in 1 Cor 13, he starts by saying… "Love is Patient"
GOD SAYS - that if you want healthy, growing, good relationships the first thing you need is patience.
HOW - would God know that?
BECAUSE - He's had several thousand years experience dealing with people – like you and me.
AND – the fact that He is still here (and we’re still here) speaks to His unlimited patience.
NOW - the word ‘patience’ in Greek is a compound word…
‘makrothymia’
Makro – long, slow
Thymia – heat, energy, anger, wrath
IT - literally means "To take a long time to boil".
We talk about somebody having a short fuse; this means they have a long fuse.
AND – check this out every time this word is used in the bible it is referring to having a long fuse with people…
POINT – if you want to live out God’s kind of love you must take a long time to boil over or blow up when you relate to other people.
AND UNDERSTAND – patience is needed in our relationships (at home, at work, at church...etc?
For at least 3 reasons, because…
A) Everybody is different.
God began by making one person, and from him came all the different people who live everywhere in the world. God decided exactly when and where they must live. – Acts 17:26
CIRCLE - different people
WOULD YOU AGREE – that people are different?
THAT – like a snowflake no two people are alike?
AND UNDERSTAND – not only do we look different…
BUT – we have different; gifts, abilities, passions, interests, skills, hopes and dreams…
WE – grew up in different families, at different times, in different places.
WE – have had different struggles, challenges, life experiences. AND – we have different personalities…
SOME – are introverts, some are extroverts and others lay somewhere in between.
YES – people are different.
• How many of you are morning people?
• How many are not?
• How many of you like to arrive 15 minutes early or you think your late?
• How many think your early if you arrive 15 minutes late?
• How many of you are spontaneous when talking a trip
• How many of need a detailed plan
How many of you are married to the opposite?
God’s a funny guy, isn’t he?
OKAY – there is no debate…
WE – are different…
AND LISTEN – these difference created misunderstandings.
B) Differences create misunderstandings.
I MEAN - we just can't figure each other out.
No one can really know what anyone else is thinking or what he is really like, except that person himself. – 1 Cor 2:11
QUESTION
HAVE – you used or thought any phrases like these recently?
• I don't understand why he does that
• Why can’t they just get it
• He just doesn't make any sense.
• How can they even think that way?
• Why do I have to tell them 48,000 times before they get it?
• Why do they always have to get so emotional, so angry, so defensive, so hostile all the time?
• Why can’t they just be honest and straight with me
SO – can you relate to any of those?
BOTTOM LINE - we are all different and these differences create misunderstanding. YET – God says in I Thessalonians 5:14
"Be patient with everyone."
Have a long fuse, take a long time to boil over with everyone.
(especially those closest to you… who tend to always be on the short end of our patience)
AGAIN – patience is foundational to our relationships, because…
• People are different
• These differences create misunderstandings
Misunderstandings that come from four wrong assumptions:
That words mean the same thing to different people.
They don't.
LIKE - they can mean totally different things.
UNDERSTAND - the five hundred most used words in the English language have 14,000 different definitions.
SO - when you say one thing and you expect other people to get it… a lot of times they don’t…
Because your words don’t mean the same thing.
FOR EXAMPLE…
When I say to one of my kids
“are you going to clean the kitchen” “Yeah”
I MEAN – “like, right now”
They mean, “yeah, I’ll get to it sometime… before Christmas.
And I am not sure which Christmas yet.”
Wrong assumption #2
There is only one right way to see things.
AGAIN – not true. And when we’re thinking straight we know it's not true. UNLESS – we are talking about biblical truth.
UNDERSTAND – people do see things differently and sometimes it is not about right, or wrong…
FOR EXAMPLE…
• Some people see country music – as music… some do not
• Some see cats as awesome pets – others as a great joke
• Some see Tom Brady as the greatest QB of all time – some
are just…
Wrong assumption #3
That your way is the right way to see things
(yeah, most of us do make that assumption)…
IN FACT - there wouldn't be any problems in any of our relationships if people just saw things your way.
I MEAN…
• Your side of the argument is clear, their side is confusing.
• Your side of the issue is logical, their side is irrational.
• Your frustration is justified, theirs is unwarranted.
• What your saying makes perfect sense, what their saying, well the lights are on but nobody's home.
AGAIN – outside of ‘biblical truth’ there are different ways of seeing things… different – perspectives, opinions, ideas…
And those who are striving to live out God’s kind of love can disagree without being disagreeable…
Can you?
Wrong assumption #4
That we can figure out someone’s motives.
We can't. People are motivated differently.
BESIDES – most of us can't figure out our own motives – (why we do what we do).
AND LISTEN…
IF – we can't figure out our own motives at times, then why in the world, would we assume we can figure out somebody else? we can't.
YES - patience is foundational (we got to have it) in our relationships because: we are all different and because these differences can cause misunderstandings…
AND- 3rd because of…
C) What happens when we loose it When we loose our patience.
IT – gets pretty ugly (when we boil over), doesn’t it?
IT’S – not very loving…
AND - not much Jesus seen in us.
AND LISTEN – when it happens in His church and among His followers according to Paul in Ephesians 4…
it grieves the Holy Spirit.
QUESTION – how would you like have a video pop up on the screen right, showing all the times you lost your patience during the last few weeks?
SURE – it would be embarrassing, but it might do us some good.
IN FACT – I hired a person to… (jk)
Short tempered people do foolish things. - Proverbs 14:17
I would add and the say foolish things.
(hurtful things, destructive things)
OKAY – the 3rd point in your notes…
III. Developing your makrothymia
Your patience, your long fuse, your long suffering (KJVO
AND HEY… - you developing this is really important!
It’s not optional, it’s a command of God
It’s the only way to love as God wants you to
It’s what the people in your life (in our world) need from you
A) Become Proficient At B.R.P.
Not CPR, BPR.
1) Breathe
Breathe deeply.
Focus on breathing in and out…
This gives you time to cool down, to lower your heart rate
Let’s do that…
HEY - did you notice what you cannot do when you are doing that? You cannot say anything…
Which is a very good thing when you are beginning to loose your patience.
Pray
Yeah, I know you’re like.. Of course I need to pray.
But I am serious, prayer is a huge thing…
“Lord, I feel like I am about to lose it right now… help me not too. Help me not to say or do anything that is sinful and dishonors you… help me to be slow burning.
2) Remember
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance..
– 2 Peter 3:9
Remember how patient God has been and is with you.
Seriously, if you were God would you put up with someone like you?
YOU KNOW – this week I was thinking it would have been great if Jesus would have told a parable specifically about God’s patience.
BUT THEN – a thought quickly hit me that the entire Bible is a testimony to the unlimited patience of our God.
B) Create some margin in your life
NOW – this is huge…
BECAUSE – it’s the lack of margin that creates an environment where impatience can grow and flourish.
Margin is breathing room.
Margin is that little reserve that you’re not using up,
SO you’re not stretched to the limit,
SO you’re not going from one meeting to the next to the next with no space in between.
Margin is the space between your load and your limit.
Now, hopefully your load is not heavier than your limit
But the truth is, most of us are far more overloaded than we can handle, there is little if any margin.
Dr. Richard Swenson, an MD says this,
“The conditions of modern day living devour margin.
If you’re homeless we direct you to a shelter.
If you’re penniless we offer you food stamps.
If you’re breathless we connect you to oxygen.
But if you’re margin-less we give you one more thing to do.
Margin-less is being thirty minutes late to the doctor’s office because you were twenty minutes late getting out of the hairdresser because you were ten minutes late dropping the children off at school because the car ran out of gas two blocks from a gas station and you forgot your purse.
That’s margin-less.
Margin, on the other hand, is having breath at the top of the staircase, money at the end of the month and sanity left over at the end of your children’s teenage years…
Margin-less is the baby crying and the phone ringing at the same time.
Margin is grandma taking the baby for the afternoon.
Margin-less is being asked to carry a load five pounds heavier than you can lift.
Margin is having a friend carry half the burden.
Margin-less is not having time to finish the book you’re reading on stress.
Margin is having the time to read it twice.
Margin-less is fatigue.
Margin is energy.
Margin-less is red ink.
Margin is black ink.
Margin-less is hurry.
Margin is calm.
Margin-less is our culture.
Margin is counter-culture.
Margin-less is reality.
Margin is remedy.
Margin-less is the disease of our decade and margin is the cure.”
LET ME – give a few things to reflect on this week that will help you create some more margin in your life. AND – we’ll have to do this quick because I don’t have very much margin in this msg.
1) Accept That You Have Limits
Basically we have:
• Physical limits
• Emotional limits
• Mental limits (only so much your brain can hold).
• Time limits (only 24 hours in a day).
• Space limits (can’t be in more than one place at a time)
• Financial limits
(“I have limits”)
2) Prune Some Activities
LISTEN - some stuff needs to go.
BUT HEY - make sure it is not all God stuff…
3) Allow time for the unexpected
Now, plans are good.
But nothing ever goes as perfectly as planned, and if you expect it to you’re setting yourself up for a lose of patience.
Here is a classic example…
You have to be somewhere at a certain time and you know that it’s going to take fifteen minutes (if traffic is perfect),
SO - you probably ought to allow a little margin.
There may be traffic. You may have a flat tire. You may forget something and have to go back.
Or if you are like me – you may have to spend 15 minutes looking for your keys…The reason many people are always late, is because there’s no margin in their life.
4) Put downtime In Your Schedule
Listen - you can’t hope for space in your schedule or pray for space in your schedule or expect somebody else to provide space in your schedule. You’re going to have to put in there yourself. You’re going to have to decide to build some buffer zones into your life, some downtime.
That means you intentionally leave some empty spaces in your Day Planner, as scary as that is for some of you.
C) Make allowances for other people
Be patient with each other, making allowances for each other's faults, because of your love." – Eph 4:2
Everybody has bad days. We're all human and we all make mistakes so we need to cut each other some slack.
LIKE - I know that there are times I am insensitive and act like a jerk… SO - I should make some allowance and be patient when other people are insensitive and act like jerks.
NOW – don’t get me wrong I am not saying that being patient means that we allow sin and wrong behavior to continue without being confronted, I’m just saying that sometimes people are just having a bad day…
UNDERSTAND – there is always a backstory in the life of the person who is testing your patience.
SO – be quick and slow…
Quick to listen and slow to speak and to become angry.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Do not fret—it leads only to evil – Ps 37:8
AND YOU KNOW – if we think about it most of the stuff that irritates us so much and causes us to loose our patience REALLY is ‘small’ stuff.
I MEAN – in light of eternity (or even in light of your life)
IS IT – really that big of a deal that…
• Your computer took an extra 15 seconds to download that file
• You missed the green light
•
•
D) Laugh A lot
Proverbs 14:30 “A relaxed attitude lengthens a man’s life.”
PEOPLE - who laugh live longer than people who don’t.
He who laughs, lasts. Humor is a tension reliever.
It is an antidote to anxiety. Humor and fun are a shock absorber for life.
UNDERSTAND - if you can laugh at it then you can live with it.
BOTTOM LINE – most of us need to lighten up and learn to laugh at our circumstances and ourselves.
MOST OF US – take ourselves and our lives much too seriously
(in a bad way).
WE - need to learn to find fun in frustration.
IF – we can do that – we will be well on the road to unleashing the power of patience in our lives…
AND – let me tell your patience in the midst of frustration is a powerful testimony.
THE FINAL – thing you need to do to unleash the power of patience in your life is…
E) Stay Connected To God
Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. - John 15:4,5
LISTEN – and, this is soo important… there are at least 2 ways that staying connected to God helps you develop your makrothymia
#1 – patience is a fruit of the spirit…
A branch on a tree has no choice. A branch disconnected on the ground has no chance
#2 – staying connected to God reminds you of God’s patience with you…
If love is patient and if God is love…
Then God is patient
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. – 1 Timothy 1:15-17
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. – Psalm 37:7
Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. – Isaiah 64:4
Abraham waited patiently, and he received what God had promised. – Hebrews 6:15
