Love Keeps No Record
Of Wrongs
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:1-8
Prayer
OKAY MGCC – welcome to week 9 of our series Love Is!
Only one week left… Next week…
Love – does, does not, always, never, is not
UNDERSTAND B/S – since October 13th God’s Word has not only shown us what love is…
BUT IT – has shown that love does.
YOU SEE – it is not enough for you, for me, for us to know what love is… WE MUST ALSO – live out what love does.
BECAUSE LOVE – is a verb.
THAT IS WHY - each week we have laid out very practical and tangible things that we can do to actually live out His kind of love.
A LOVE – that has the power to change us, our marriages, our homes, our relationships, this church and our community… showing the world that we really are His disciples and thereby bringing more and more people to a saved relationship with Christ.
(BTW – have you been doing your 31 day challenge?)
OKAY – raise your hand if you want your life to count.
AWESOME – me too…
THEN – we better let these words breathed by God and penned by Paul sink deep within our inner being…
The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. – Galatians 5:6
NOW THIS MORNING - as we continue looking at this incredible portrait of love that Paul painted onto the canvas of 1 Corinthians 13…
WE ARE - going to look at what I think are the 6 most difficult words to live out in this entire portrait of God’s kind of love… “Love keeps no record of wrongs…” - 1 Cor 13:5
Love keeps no record of wrongs - Love forgives
Love is full of and a consistent dispenser of… of grace.
UNDERSTAND – I think… no, let me rephrase that…
Without a doubt the most difficult challenge that you will ever face as you strive to live out God’s kind of love…
IS WHEN - somebody hurts you, when they do you wrong, when evil is done to you or to those we love.
(btw – the word translated as ‘wrong’ is actually the Greek word kakos = whose primary meaning is evil).
OKAY MGCC – here’s the deal… forgiveness is not just some sidebar or footnote of Christianity. It’s not just one app in the app store.
Or a pretty cool topic that we should get around to whenever we have the time. NO – forgiveness and the dispensing of grace is the operating system for Christianity.
LIKE – it’s the basis for the whole deal that you and I are a part of. FORGIVENESS - is what makes the rest of it run.
AND YEAH – I get it, I know that forgiveness…
• opposes the way our world operates,
• kicks against our natural instincts, and
• so very uncomfortable to look at closely…
YET - it’s still something we have to deal with…
BUT – at the same time it’s hard to deal with…
BECAUSE – there is real hurt/pain/wrong/and evil - out there…
On Wednesday I posted the following on my facebook wall…
SERMON HELP…
WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT FORGIVENESS ISSUE
YOU HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH?
(email, private message me, comment)
WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT FORGIVENESS ISSUE
YOU HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH?
• My mom suddenly leaving my dad, brother and me without any explanation as to why.
• My spouse committing adultery and destroying our home
• My dad leaving our family suddenly
• The lies and influence of others that have prevented me from having a relationship with my children
• Betrayal and the ongoing, never-even-for-one-moment repentant hearts of those who destroyed our child’s marriage.
• The physical and emotional abuse my brothers and I endured from our parents when growing up
• Betrayal and hatred from someone who was once my best friend
• Being molested by my male cousin when I was 5 years old
• Forgiving myself… I keep a list of my own wrongs running through my head…
YES – there is a lot of hurt out there…
QUESTION…
WHAT IS THE MOST DIFFICULT FORGIVENESS ISSUE
YOU HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH?
LIKE – I said this world is full of hurt, real… deep… raw hurt.
AND THEREFORE – the last thing that I want to do is stand up here (not knowing your story, not knowing that hurt and pain you went through),
AND ACT - like forgiveness is an easy thing to do
OR EXPECT - that in a 40 minute conversation this morning that everything will be worked out…
HOWEVER – however… what I do want to do…
IS – to open up your heart and mind to the incredible opportunity that forgiveness is…
UNDERSTAND – forgiveness is recognizing,
THAT - God is good,
THAT - the Gospel is that true,
AND THAT - the grace which surrounds us is both abundant and freeing
LISTEN – here’s the deal… Forgiveness (not keeping a record of wrongs) is not a burden that God has placed on us…
BUT RATHER - a gift, an opportunity, that HE gives to us.
OKAY – let’s do this, ‘love keeps no record of wrongs.’
AND HERE – is how I want to attack this conversation by unpacking 3 statements.
• Forgiveness, What It Is Not
• Forgiveness, A Parable
• Forgiveness, A Few Helpful Equations
I. Forgiveness, What It Is Not
NOW - there are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings as to what forgiveness really is.
AND LISTEN - these misunderstanding of forgiveness (in my opinion) play a major role in why we refuse to forgive…
That’s why it is important to talk about what forgiveness is not.
A) Forgiveness is not Conditional
IN OTHER WORDS - it’s not based on somebody else’s response. It’s not earned, deserved, bargained or paid for.
It’s not based on some promise that they’ll never do it again.
If you say to someone “I’ll forgive you if…” that’s not forgiveness… BECAUSE - forgiveness is unconditional.
Forgiveness is not
Minimizing
IT’S - not saying when somebody comes and asks for forgiveness, “Don’t worry about it. It’s no big deal. It didn’t hurt. It’s not a problem, it’s okay.”
THAT’S - that is not forgiveness, because it is not okay.
UNDERSTAND - forgiveness means that there was a hurt or an offense that was significant enough to require forgiveness.
LISTEN – we don’t have to pretend that things that hurt us and offended us weren’t that bad. We’re not minimizing the offense, the wrong (kakos – evil) they did to us.
B) Forgiveness is not Resuming
It is not resuming a relationship without change.
YES - we must forgive (this is not an option for a Jesus follower), but for a relationship to be restored requires genuine repentance (change) and time to rebuild trust.
(and even then it may never be what is once was)
C) Forgiveness is not Forgetting
IN FACT – the truth is, it’s impossible to forget the offense… BUT – let me tell something that is even better than forgetting… replacing…
IT’S - putting something else, something better in the place of those ‘hurts’…
IT’S - remembering but realizing how God can bring good even out of evil.
You planned evil against me; God planned it for good to bring about the present result—the saving of many people. – Genesis 50:20
D) Forgiveness is not Forfeiting
Justice (it’s guaranteeing it)…
UNDERSTAND - forgiveness is not about waving the white flag of surrender and giving up all hope of justice…
NO - it’s not about dismissing your case it’s about appealing it to a higher court.
And saying God that hurt me…
THEY – hurt me… but I will leave justice in your more than capable hands.
E) Forgiveness is not Weakness
NOW – I don’t know about you, but sometimes it feels weak for me to forgive, like if I forgive them then I loose and they win… AND - I don’t like to loose and definitely don’t want them to win…
BUT – what I am beginning to see is that forgiveness is not weakness… but great strength.
LIKE – keeping a record of wrongs is easy, but letting those wrongs go requires strength.
QUESTION – where was Christ most powerful?
(The cross is not a picture of weakness but of power)
SO MGCC – let’s be clear as to what forgiveness is not…
Forgiveness is not – conditional, minimizing, resuming, forgetting, forfeiting or weakness
II. Forgiveness, A Parable
In Matthew 18 Jesus tells a parable… that speaks powerfully to this concept of grace and forgiveness.
It is known as the parable of the unforgiving servant…
Or we call it…
OKAY - here’s how this passage starts off. Peter comes to Jesus with a question… Who else, right?
NOW - I want to stop right there and say of course he did.
IF – you know anything about the bible, you know that Peter was like that kid in class who was always , “okay hold up a minute..’ I MEAN - everyone else is nodding like they got it, even if they don’t – but Peter is that person (maybe you know someone like this, or maybe you are that person) – who always asks what everyone else is thinking…
YOU SEE – Jesus had just given some pretty rough teaching about the subjects… hurt, confrontation and reconciliation…
Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? – Matthew 18:21.
(do you think Peter has a specific person in mind?)
NOW UNDERSTAND – Peter was probably expecting Jesus to commend him for being so gracious…
FOR YOU SEE - the Rabbis taught you had to forgive a man three times and then you could retaliate.
So Peter thinks to himself, "Well, I'll just double that and add one for good measure." Seven, after all, is the perfect number.
AND - to be perfectly honest, forgiving a person seven times is pretty commendable. I MEAN - most of us have a hard time forgiving somebody one time.
SO – by human standards what Peter said is pretty impressive.
AGAIN – Peter thought that by saying seven, he was doing good – going the 2nd mile, turning the other cheek.
BUT LISTEN - the truth is Peter simply wanted a some kind of legal limit – a number – after which he could finally say, ‘Okay, that’s it – no more Mr. Nice Guy.”
SO - when Peter throws out the number seven he’s feeling very confident… THAT - he’s going to get a compliment,
THAT - Jesus is going to be like, “Peter! R U you kidding me… you are so amazing! Seven times? Why can’t all the disciples be like you?” YEAH – that’s pretty much what peter thinks is going to happen, as he throws out this number that seems really gracious…
Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? – Matthew 18:21
AGAIN - I really think that Peter has someone specific in mind… I wonder who it was?
NOW - I think it’s safe to assume that it’s probably someone he knew quite well (because that is usually how hurt goes)
YES - there are exceptions to this. I MEAN - there are some of you who had someone come into your life just kind of long enough to bring about some destruction and devastation and then they were gone.
BUT - for most of us the people who hurt us the most are the people that we love, right?
WHY IS THAT?
Because we give those people our hearts, and when we give them our hearts we also give them power over us.
And that power… can cause a lot of damage. (amen?)
AND – do you know what?
I think Peter’s question is probably a question we’d also like to know the answer to.
Yeah, okay. I mean, as long as Peter’s asking, I’d like to know.
How far is too far?
How much is too much?
When can I let my grace and forgiven run out?
AND SO PETER - sets Jesus up with this equation.
Because that’s what Peter wants to know:
WHEN - does the hurt in my life,
WHEN - does the pain that’s been caused me—
WHEN - does this become the equation that I am allowed to operate by, Jesus…
When does my hurt become > your call to forgive
And Jesus answers. I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven. - Matthew 18:22
AND HEY - that loud sound you hear is Peter dropping over unconscious. He couldn't believe his ears. Seventy times seven. That's 490 times.
YOU SEE - Jesus is saying, "Peter, you've got it all wrong.
You don't count the number of times you forgive someone. BECAUSE – forgiveness is unlimited”
NO - it's not that we say to ourselves, "298 … 299 … 300.
Only 190 more to go, and then I can make them pay!"
INSTEAD - seventy times seven means there is no limit to the number of times we should forgive someone else.
YEAH I KNOW – that sounds crazy, unrealistic, not natural, impossible, unfair… BUT REMEMBER…
WE - who live in His Kingdom
WE – who have surrender to and follow Jesus, are to..
NO LONGER - live like those in this world,
INSTEAD - we live in a new a new a better country, in a new and different kingdom…
ONE – where grace reigns and where we are supernaturally empowered to live radically different lives, WHERE – grace and forgiveness are our operating system.
NOW - when we hear Jesus say that, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times…
WE – probably accept that as truth. I MEAN - we’re like,
“Okay, well, if Jesus said, ‘Seventy times seven’…
I mean, if that’s what He says...”
HOWEVER - emotionally this concept is extremely hard to get our arms around.
SURE - we might acknowledge it’s true; but it doesn’t feel true.
I MEAN…
IF - you’re the one who’s been hurt,
IF - you’re the one who’s been left,
IF - you’re the one who’s been abandoned, betrayed, mistreated and abused—if that’s you, then you might say it’s true;
BUT - it just doesn’t feel true,
BECAUSE – sometimes it does feel like our forgiving others and showing them grace does run out.
(at least it does at times for me)
AND SO - Jesus gives us a parable to help us emotionally get our arms around this truth that…
grace and forgiveness are always > our hurt.
Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
NOW - this was not an unusual thing. Imprisonment for debt was very common in Jesus’ day.
SO - this action would not be a surprise to Jesus’ listeners because they know the rule of this world: You owe, you pay.
OKAY…
SO - this a story of a Master who wanted to settle accounts,
AND - one guy owed him a very large debt.
Anybody out there know what debt is? Fun, right?
NOW - I want to talk about the size of that debt for a minute. UNDERSTAND - before “talent” meant skill, it meant money. It represented the largest unit of accounting in the Greek currency – 10,000 denarius.
AND – a denarius was equal to one days wage. Multiply your daily wage by 10,000, and you discover the value of a talent. Check this out - in a whole year, all the taxes collected in Judea and Samaria to go to Rome added up to only 600 talents. That was a lot of money.
OKAY – let’s assume that you earn $50,000 a year and you annually work 260 days, you make about $192 a day. A talent in your case is valued at 10,000 times $192 or $1,920,000
THEREFORE - 10,000 talents = 19.2 billion dollars
QUESTION – what is JESUS trying to say by choosing such a large number in this story…?
THAT – this guy owes a huge/massive debt, ONE - that he will never been able to pay…
NOW – let’s hit the pause button for a moment
UNDERSTAND MGCC - this is really a story about the human race. IN FACT…
This is my story and it’s your story.
Jesus says there is a king, there is a God, who is extremely generous (full of mercy and grace), and who is also painstakingly just.
AND – everyone of us have accumulated a mountain of un-payable debt, before him.
AND MGCC – we add to that debt all of the time by our sins of ‘commission’ and ‘omission’…
UNDERSTAND
• Any time we are less than honest.
• Anytime we twist the truth to make ourselves look better
• Every time we are unloving with our kids
• Any time we’re unkind to our spouse/disrespectful to our parents
• Every time we speak reckless words that hurt someone
• Every time that we knew the right thing to do, (like…
but we didn’t do it.
• Every time we gossip, slander and tear others down with our tongue
• Every selfish act, every racist joke,
• every sexually impure thought or deed
• every judgmental attitude, every malicious
WE ARE - adding to the mountain of our un-payable debt
AND SO - Matthew 18 just begins with this reminder—that we all owe this huge debt to God…AND THEN – Jesus’ story gets interesting.
YOU SEE - Something happens in the mind of the servant.
He is desperate; he has nothing to lose. So he goes for broke. He throws up a Hail Mary. Look at verse 26,
The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’
Now I want you to notice the exact request. "’Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’"
UNDERSTAND – even if he work 365 days a year at $192 per day it would take him 273,972 years to pay it off.
QUESTION - what are the odds of this unemployed servant being able to pay back that kind of debt?
It’s a joke. It’s like promising to empty the Atlantic Ocean with a teaspoon. It’s not going to happen. At best, it’s an insult to the master’s intelligence.
UNDERSTAND – the Master as soon as he heard the plea knew that this guy could never pay it back.
AND AGAIN - all of Jesus’ listeners know just what to expect. They know the rule, they know the economy of this world:
You owe, you pay
SO - they wait for the axe to fall, but it never does.
YOU SEE - Jesus says in verse 27 that the MASTER is moved with compassion. He looks at this frightened, selfish, desperate man, and he’s moved with pity.
The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. – Matthew 18:27
AND REMEMBER - this is a mountain of debt. A huge sum of money. AND LISTEN - it doesn’t just disappear.
I MEAN - somebody has to pay. Somebody has to take the loss. QUESTION - who takes the hit? Who pays?
The MASTER pays.
UNDERSTAND – the Master is offering a whole new system of debt management: You owe, I’ll pay.
IT’S - the economy of grace.
IT’S – the new way of His Kingdom.
YEAH – I know it’s crazy but The king says, "I will pay your un-payable debt. I will take the hit. I will suffer the loss – it’s all on me - you can go free. You owe, I’ll pay."
You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ, for he forgave all our sins. He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross.
– Colossians 2:13,14
NOW - imagine what happens when this guy in Matthew 18, goes home, and he sees his wife. They’re not going to lose their home. His family won’t have to spend their lives in prison. They’re free. They’ve got their life back, and they don’t even have to pay the debt. And it’s all because of the economy of grace and forgiveness
Jesus continues his story…
But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.
– Matthew 18:28
That’s 100 days wages… $192 x 100 days = 19,200 (a significant amount)… but not anywhere close to owing 19.2 billion dollars…
SO - this time he is the one who is owed money.
He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
- Matthew 18:28,29
NOTICE - that this guy is making the exact some request that he had made only moments ago to the master.
SO - he’s being asked to extend the same grace and forgiveness that he had just received (except to a much lesser degree)
NOW - if you had never heard this story before (like if you are watching it on the Hallmark TV channel), what would you think is going to happen?
Well, of course! Of course he’s going to forgive him.
He was just forgiven 19.2 billion dollars. Of course he’s going to show mercy and forgive the debt, of course the one who was on the receiving end of such grace is going to extend it.
Verse 30, “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.”
NOW - verse 31 (is a) real important verse that’s really easy to overlook in this story. Verse 31 says, “When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.”
QUESTION – who reported this to the master?
WHAT – was their reaction? they were outraged
Why? LIKE - why were they so upset?
BECAUSE
THEY - all lived in this community together where they have this master who does not treat them as servants but instead treats them as sons and daughters… and who does not treat them as their debts deserve.
I MEAN – they all have this master who is over-the-top merciful, generous, gracious and forgiving.
AND WHEN - one of their own receives that kind of grace but then refuses to give it, it’s a big problem, and they are outraged.
LISTEN MGCC – grace and forgiveness is the only way that this community, God’s family, His church works.
UNDERSTAND – it’s just not going to work if we who receive grace and forgiveness, refuse to give it.
AND SO WHEN - we see a brother or sister who has received God’s forgiveness, act ungraciously— that is a problem.
I MEAN - when we see someone who’s received incredible grace start being ungracious and unforgiving…—that’s a problem, right?
AND SO - within this parable of grace and forgiveness there is also a call for some righteous outrage.
THERE IS A CALL – for the church, for Jesus-followers…
TO NOT BE OKAY – with ‘ungrace.’
TO NOT BE OKAY – with ‘gracism’
TO NOT BE OKAY - with people being ‘gracists’
Gracism – I deserve to have grace but certain people who do not met my standards (because of who they are or what they have done to me), do not.
Gracist – a person who is quick to ask for and accept grace but refuses to extend that same grace to certain people.
QUESTION…
Have you ever been a gracist?
Do you ever practice gracism?
UNDERSTAND – ungrace, gracelessness, gracism and being a gracist is not okay!
AND SO - the master finds out that this guy, who had received incredible grace and forgiveness, was refusing to give it. Verse 32, it says,
Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.”
- Matthew 18:32-34
Well, that’s going to take a long time.
LIKE - how long is it going to take him in prison to earn 19.2 billion dollars. A very long time…like forever.
In other words… He’s never going to pay it back.
He’s going to spend the rest of his existence in prison, living with this overwhelming guilt over what he did.
NOW – many times Jesus ends a parable kind of vague.
Because He wants us to go home and think about it for awhile, reflect on the meaning and application… BUT – not here.
NO - here Jesus ends this parable about as clearly as He can…
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.
- Matthew 18:35
NOW I KNOW - immediately some may want to push back on that. “What a minute.
Steve are you telling me that if I don’t forgive the person who hurt me, who abused me, who betrayed me, who cheated me, who abandoned me, who lied about me, who…
You’re telling me if I don’t forgive them God won’t forgive me?”
NO - I’m not saying that. Jesus is.
UNDERSTAND MGCC…
The truth that Jesus is wanting to make perfectly clear in this parable, is that…
IF WE THINK – it’s okay to receive God grace and not give it
IF WE THINK - it’s okay to be forgiven and not forgive
IF WE THINK - it’s okay to bask in bitterness, to reside in resentment, to hold on to a grudge, to keep a record of the wrongs people have done to us, to let our hurt become hate… we are wrong, dead wrong!
YEAH – I know it’s not fair. I know that.
Because those people owe you something, right?
I mean, it’s right here (in) black and white. They owe you something… $19,200.
And no, it’s not right…
BUT – here’s the deal…
Jesus we will never ask us to give more grace and forgiveness than have already received from Him. Amen?!
So Jesus answers Peter’s equation
When does my hurt become > your call to forgive
with an equation of his own. Here’s the equation Jesus gives and wants Peter to always remember….
19,200,000,000 (forgiveness is always) >19,200 (our hurt)
HEY PETER - in case you weren’t sure, let me remind you what you’ve been forgiven of, is so much greater than you’ll ever have to forgive.
AND LISTEN – please, please here me… this is not to make light of what you will have to forgive.
IT – simply means that the more you understand the holiness of God, the more you understand yourself (and) the more you realize how true this is.
19,200,000,000 (forgiveness is always) >19,200 (our hurt)
AND B/S - if this equation doesn’t make sense to you, if you do not want to accept it, then you don’t really understand the Gospel and you don’t really know yourself. YOU SEE…
If the biggest sinner you know isn’t you, then you don’t know yourself very well.
So we’ve been forgiven this debt, and the Bible says in Colossians 3:13… that we are to
forgive as the Lord forgave us.
NOW - as we wrap up, I just want to give you a few quick equations that will hopefully help us choose the way of grace and forgiveness whenever we are hurt…
III. Forgiveness, A Few Helpful Equations
A) Forgiveness is > repayment.
AND - repayment is this idea that they have to make it right. That’s repayment. The person who hurt us has to make it right.
NOW - I grew up being taught as a child that if I hurt someone, if I was disrespectful, if I was disobedient—whatever it was—that my job was to make it right.
So I needed to say something or I needed to do something to make it right with that person.
WHICH – is a good lesson for a child to learn.
HOWEVER - it developed in my mind this kind of unbiblical approach to forgiveness and grace,
BECAUSE - here’s what I figured in my head:
When it comes to forgiveness, when someone hurts me, forgiveness comes when that person who hurt me makes things right. Yeah, yeah.
WHEN THEY - say something, WHEN THEY - do something to make things right, THEN I will forgive them.
BUT - the problem is that’s not forgiveness.
That’s not grace. It’s repayment. It’s justice.
SO – in the flesh, we want repayment…. BUT – let me ask you?
What do you do when you are hurt so badly that there’s nothing that can be said and there’s nothing that can be done to make it right?
QUESTION - what are you going to do then? (Louis story)
UNDERSTAND - it’s going to happen (if it hasn’t already)—WHERE - someone does something to you that is so wrong and so hurtful that the moment you find out about it you know there’s nothing they can say or do to make it right.
That’s when grace comes in.
The Bible says in verse 27 that the master canceled the debt. The idea is that he erased it completely, right?
He didn’t just extend the note or make it interest only.
He canceled the debt.
MGCC - that’s what God has done for us. It’s not earned.
NOW TRUST - may need to be earned, but forgiveness and grace are never earned.
WHEN YOU – make forgiveness dependent on the person who hurt you making things right, then you need to find a new word for it because it’s not forgiveness.
forgiveness > repayment
NEXT,
B) Forgiveness is > revenge.
Now, maybe you’ve been hurt, (they should not of treated you that way), and maybe you have the power to get even but forgiveness releases that right –
IT SAYS NO – to getting even…
IT SAYS NO - to the ‘you hurt me, so I will hurt you back’ philosophy of life.
UNDERSTAND - if there is to be any justice to be served, we need to leave it in the hands of God, the perfect judge.
Rom. 12:19 says, "Do not take revenge my friends. Do not repay evil for evil. Leave room for God's wrath for vengeance is mine. I will repay says the Lord."
You say, “If I give up my right to get even with somebody who’s hurt me, that’s unfair.” You’re right. It’s unfair.
BUT - whoever said forgiveness is fair?
I MEAN - Was it fair for Jesus Christ to die on a cross and forgive everything you’ve ever done wrong and let you go scott free? Was that fair? No.
AND SO - we release the right to get even.
And that’s what it says in verse 27. It says,
“He canceled the debt and let him go.”
(He) let him go. Both hands…release him.
B/S – today 12/8/2019…
Jesus is telling you, commanding you and I to…
Let them go. - Let him go - Let her go.
It’s not fair. I know it’s not fair.
They don’t deserve it. I know they don’t deserve it.
I know that.
BUT – nevertheless let them go.
AND – let me be clear this (letting them go) doesn’t mean you’re not going to hurt.
UNDERSTAND – forgiving (no longer keeping a record of wrongs) doesn’t mean that you won’t feel pain anymore.
IN FACT - in some ways forgiveness means that you are actually choosing to live with the pain and the consequences of another person’s sin, because they can’t make it right.
I mean, they can try and it might make you feel better.
But ultimately, when you’re really hurt, there’s nothing they can say and there’s nothing they can do. It’s just…it just hurts.
And that is where grace and forgiveness coming in.
Forgiveness is > repayment, Forgiveness is > revenge
C) Forgiveness is > resentment.
NOW - resentment is this approach to hurt that,
“I’m just going to quietly become more and more angry about the situation,”
WHICH BTW - is how a lot of us handle hurt from the people we’re close to. We just keep…
• feeding the offense,
• reliving the pain
• rehearsing the hurt
• pushing the playback button in our minds, watching again and again how we’ve been taken advantage of or how we’ve been disrespected or how we’ve been mistreated.
AND SO – we just quietly become more and more angry.
BUT UNDERSTAND - when you choose resentment, do you know who ultimately pays for it? You do.
I MEAN – in Jesus’ parable, who is the one who winds up in prison, the one who would not forgive.
Checkout these words from a guy named Fredrick Buechner,
“Of all the deadly sins, resentment appears to be the most fun. To lick your wounds and savor the pain that you will give back – is in many ways a feast fit for a king. BUT THEN – it turns out that what you are eating at the banquet of bitterness is your own heart. The skeleton at the feast is you. You start holding a grudge, BUT in the end the grudge holds you.
MGCC
Forgiveness is >… repayment, revenge or resentment
Amen?!
What a powerful story Jesus tells in Matthew 18 in response to not only Peter’s question but ours as well…
‘Lord, do I really have to forgive them, they hurt me so bad, they don’t deserve it at all... Lord when is my hurt > than your call to forgive? NEVER!
B/S - we stand before a mighty and holy God with our sins piled up like a mountain. The mountain is so tall we can't get over it, so deep we can't get under it, so wide we can't go around it.
AND - that's everyone of us in this room right now.
Our sins are like a debt we could never pay…
NOT - in our lifetime,
NOT - in a 273,972 years or ever!
YES - we come as massive debtors to God, and we come with empty hands saying,
"God I can’t pay. It’s too much. It’s too big"
AND GOD - who is rich in mercy says,
"that’s okay ___________, I’ll pay it. I’ll forgive all your sins.
My Son will pay your debt with His blood.
Steve, you owe, but I’ll pay!"
MGCC – that is the perspective Jesus wants us to live out.
HE – wants His grace and forgiveness to become a spring of living water welling up from within us and flowing out from us.
We are most like beasts when we kill. We are most like man when we judge. We are most like God when we forgive.
God loves grace and forgiveness.
AND – you know, I cannot think of one example in all of Scripture where God condmens and rebukes someone for being too forgiving and showing too much grace.
I would like to show you a video clip that is a powerful example of forgiveness… let me briefly set it.
- On September 18, 2018 off duty police officer Amber Guyger walked into her neighbor’s (Botham Jeans) apartment, apparently thinking it was her home and shot and killed Botham believing that he was an intruder
- She was found guilty of murder and sentence on October 2, 2019
- During her sentencing Dotham’s brother Brandt said the following during his family impact statement.
VIDEO….
WOW… WOW… WOW
Let me wrap it up just with this idea, okay?
The key to forgiving…I mean, hard, messy forgiveness.
The key to forgiving is to stop thinking about what’s been done to you and to start thinking about all that Jesus has done for you.
That’s it. And it’s hard. I’m not saying that’s easy.
I’m just saying we have to stop.
When the bitterness starts to grow,
when the rage starts to set in,
We have to stop and we have to think.
We have to stop thinking about what’s been done to us and we need to replace it with thoughts of what Jesus has done for us.
Because when we remember what has been done for us will give us the grace to forgive what has been done to us.
Love keeps no record of wrongs…
Let’s pray.
(resources - a message by Kyle Idleman on youtube)
