As Christians, we are called to live a very distinctive way. Being a Christian is a calling to the hard work of shaping the metal of our lives (our character) into a form that expresses God’s masterpiece within all of us. The whole letter focuses on Christian virtue and character and how transforming habits of our mind and heart will demonstrate the power and wisdom of Jesus Christ. A power and a wisdom that is often baffling to the rest of the world.
We opened the new series by reviewing our alternative worldview presented by Paul in the statement “we preach Christ crucified.” We moved on to does your life reflect the Christ in your heart? Then we began to explore “how?” How do we (you and I) act in ways that leave others in our society scratching their heads and saying, “What? Why would you do that?”
The topics of incest, lawlessness and even prostitution seem simpler to handle than the larger question of what does it mean to live as a Christian in a society that approves of anything as long as you don’t hurt anyone else. Paul had his work cut out for him as he struggled to teach this new group of believers to think differently about the more delicate issues of life where the metal of our lives is formed. It’s truly the place where theology meets real life. And there is no greater forging ground than that of our relationships with one another especially one we call marriage.
I’ll never forget a young man who was in Bible College coming home on break and asking me all kinds of questions about love, marriage and divorce. He pulled up all kinds of scripture about how divorce is wrong under any circumstances except in cases of infidelity. We discussed the topic in great length. I’ll never forget how he shared what he was going to say if someone came to him seeking a advice on a marriage issue that might lead to a divorce. Let’s just say, he was unrealistic. He’d never sat with man whose wife cheated, or woman whose husband was abusive, or a spouse with small children who was economically trapped in the legal nightmare of a separation. I shared with him the real world. We discussed real life situations and did some role plays. Marriage can be hard but it also can teach us quite a bit about what it means to be Christian in relationship.
Paul speaks to this in 1 Corinthians 7. However, Paul is not, and was not, trying to address marriage as a whole. Those who read these passages in this way do Paul and the other scriptures on this topic a great deal of dis-service. Paul was dealing with an issue of new believers and unbelieving spouses as well as what to do when one was single. He was confident in Jesus soon return so he wanted everyone to stay focused on the mission at hand. He wanted these new believers to put God first in all things in life and to consider the ramifications of marriage before consenting to move forward. Paul wants us to think before we commit. Listen to today’s scripture from 1 Cor 7:25-40:
Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better. A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.
In Chapter 7:25-40, he details these four considerations before committing to a marriage partnership:
1) Consider your present circumstances (v.26) “I think in view of the present distress it is good …”
2) Face the responsibility with honesty understanding that loyalty and commitment will add emotional, physical and mental burden to one’s life.
3) Realize every situation is unique (v.38) “so then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. “
4) Marriage and all covenants involving God are intended to be for life (v.39)”…as long as he lives.”
These considerations are also helpful for other areas of importance in our lives: like our commitment to be baptized, confirmed, membership, leadership and even our ministry service. In all these areas, we are choosing to love God and others above ourselves by considering pour circumstances, facing our responsibilities, looking at every situation as unique and realizing our commitments always include Christ.
Theology meets real life all the time. It is also present here in the church. One of our members who gave me permission to share their experience that every time we baptized someone, when it came to the community response to commit to raising the person in the family of faith, he would respond, “No!” He said he didn’t want that responsibility. The commitment meant something deep to him and he did not want to commit spiritual perjury with the Lord. He wanted to be known as a person of integrity and character: his ‘yes’ to be ‘yes and his ‘no’ to be ‘no’ as James said in the 5th chapter of his letter. The reality is though many in this world don’t understand this concept.
It’s the reason so many Christian’s church shop and hop. The culture says, if it doesn’t fit just right, you can have it your way. Just go down the street. All the churches are the same. Christ is Christ everywhere. If the show is better – leave. The music louder – go. The kids program or space puts Chuck E Cheese to shame – run. If they talk about money, evangelism, lead with scripture, preach a topic, offer a 40 minute sermon or a 12 minute sermon – go for it. However, none of that elevates the importance of the church to that of a covenantal relationship between God and his people. Church is community with, under and before God. In membership, we are declaring our commitment to God and one another. In many ways it is the same as a marriage vow.
In a traditional marriage vow, we have the bride and groom say to one another these words:
I (blank) take you the church, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish; until we parted by death. This is my solemn vow. AND then we ask the other party to repeat it so that neither can claim, “I didn’t say that.”
Let’s do this together as an exercise. (walk everyone present through this)
Membership has its privileges is how the American express commercial goes. Covenantal relationships do as well. The power of God is in the relationship forever. It provides assurance of love, mercy and grace. It’s only when this covenant is broken or taken lightly that people get hurt and rarely is it God doing the hurting.
I have an exercise for you, if you want to get the world scratching their heads, tell them you chose a church where the people aren’t perfect but they are real, tell them the building is over 100 years old but the fellowship is intimate, tell them the worship is rarely reverent but always authentic, tell them the teaching in adults, student and children’s is biblical but laced with grace, finally, tell them you attend a church where there is rarely a Sunday we don’t all leave encouraged that the Spirit of God is alive in our worship, service and commitment to one another and community around us.
