BLESS THIS HOME
CONQUERING OFFENSE
Miracle Place Church
May 19, 2013 – Sunday
May 23, 2013 – Thursday
Correlation between Culture and Communication
Genesis 2:7, 15, 18, 21-24
Definitions:
Correlation – two things so related that one directly complements the other (such as a husband and wife); a phenomenon that accompanies another phenomenon (as in behavior); usually parallel as in form, type, or development and is related in some way.
Culture – customs and institutions of a particular nation, group, or people; accepted patterns, beliefs, and customs of a group that influences the way in which they learn and behave; the process of transmitting knowledge to succeeding generations.
Communication – the exchange of ideas, feelings, and information in a way that is satisfactorily received or understood; it is the process of transmitting from one person to another.
Basic Differences between Men and Women:
1. Women are primarily emotional (sensitive) driven.
2. Men primarily logic (insensitive) driven.
3. Women are feeling (introverted) oriented.
4. Men are behavioral (extroverted) oriented.
5. The primary need of women is love (affection/security).
6. The primary need of men is respect (held in high regard).
7. Women are usually detailed (thorough and particular).
8. Men are usually straight to the point (direct and concise).
9. Women are generally responders (loves to be chased).
10. Men are generally hunters (loves to chase).
A. Recognizing Offense – Matthew 18:1-35
1. Offense is the feeling of being insulted or wronged. You may feel you have been unfairly treated or your rights are violated.
2. You may feel resentment, hurt feelings, anger and personal outrage.
3. It brings a feeling of separation in your life.
4. Affects other people and relationships, especially your relationship with God.
5. You will have difficultly as you function and speak from a wounded heart.
6. Offense in the Bible means to trap, snare or become a stumbling block. Do not let offense trap you.
7. Offenses are anything that becomes an obstacle to you or to another.
Remember – If you offend a person, one day you may find that you need them.
8. The devil uses offense to divide and conquer. The devil will take every circumstance and try to make it a stumbling block.
9. Every relationship is vulnerable to attack:
a. Husband and wife,
b. Parent and child,
c. Friend to friend,
d. Acquaintance to acquaintance, and
e. Pastor and congregation.
B. Causes of Offense
1. The Tongue – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” Proverbs 18:21 – “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father, and therewith curse we men, which are made after similitude of God. James 3:8-9 - “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.” Proverbs 29:11
a. The tongue can be used destructively or creatively.
b. Do not spew poison.
c. Do not use a slanderous tongue.
d. Do not speak thoughtless words.
2. An Unforgiving Spirit
a. Keeps a record of wrongs.
b. Has a tendency to hold a grudge. Becomes hysterical.
3. Overly Sensitive
a. Touchy, views every situation as grounds for offense.
b. It is good to be sensitive, but not so sensitive that we become overly suspicious, critical or temperamental.
“And have no root in themselves, and so endure but for a time: afterward, when affliction or persecution arises for the word’s sake, immediately they are offended.” Mark 4:17
4. Insensitivity to Others
a. Rude, crude, pushy, lacking tact and courtesy.
b. Can be manipulative, judgmental or controlling.
c. Must learn to avoid wrong actions, attitudes and words.
DO NOT develop the gift of faultfinding. “Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful. Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: Give and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom, for with the measure that ye mete withal, it shall be measured to you again.” Luke 6:36-38
5. Failure to Yield our Rights
a. We demand our rights at any cost. Our way or no way. There is no compromise.
b. If we go through life expecting everything to go our way, we are bound for offense.
c. Can develop a lying spirit to turn circumstances in the direction they feel they should go, but not necessarily God’s way.
d. The opposite of an unyielded spirit is a meek spirit. If two rams meet on a narrow path, one must humble himself and bow down so that the other may pass by. “Let no one seek his own, but each seek the other’s well being.” I Corinthians 10:24
6. A Bitter Spirit
a. Unresolved bitterness pollutes our relationships and attitudes towards others.
b. Bitterness causes us to be touchy and responds quickly to further offense.
c. You must resolve within yourself to let “it” go. “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord: looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.” Hebrews 12:14-15
7. Low Self Esteem
a. Women could feel inadequate, unable to accomplish much. A man can be negative and tear her down by magnifying her weaknesses. Man must build the woman up and accept her as the weaker vessel by God’s design.
b. Man can be “nagged” and belittled. A woman should love, bless, accept and build him up.
8. Failure to Greet Someone
a. You can look at someone with the wrong facial expression. You can look past, or not see, someone and they may receive it as being ignored or “snubbed.” Your body language may be perceived incorrectly.
i. People cannot fight kindness. Ask to be forgiven.
ii. The love of Christ compels us to care for the feelings of others rather than mindlessly and carelessly trampling upon them.
iii. We are Christians, “Christ-like.” We operate on a different level than the world.
iv. The only antidote for offense is forgiveness. “But the natural man receives not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.” I Corinthians 2:14
B. How to Conquer Offense
1. Strive not to Offend - “And herein do I exercise myself, to have always a conscience void of offense toward God, and toward men.” Acts 24:16 – “For God is my record, how greatly I long after you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ. And this I pray, that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and in all judgment; that ye may approve things that are excellent; that ye may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ; being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:8-11
2. Make an Action Plan
a. Determine first if an offense has truly occurred.
“Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone: if he shall hear you, you have gained your brother.” Matthew 18:15
b. Approach in a Christ-like manner that will not cause further offense.
c. Go with the correct spirit. Speak life into the other person, build him up, seek to edify the other. Never humiliate or embarrass the other. Parents, never discipline your children harshly in front of their friends.
d. Go with an attitude to quickly forgive.
3. God is in control. In every situation you can trust Him. Take every situation and turn it into a stepping stone.
4. Do not look at your own rights as being violated; honor the other person’s position.
5. Take responsibility for yourself and hold yourself accountable for your own actions.
6. Be quick to forgive. Remember 7 x 70. “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Jesus said unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven.” Matthew 18:21-22
7. Perfect means maturity. Control of the tongue shows spiritual maturity. “For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man and able to bridle the whole body.” James 3:2
