I don’t get to do it very often anymore, but I love fishing. I grew up near a muddy little lake where you could catch bullheads and bluegills almost any time you tried. But catching fish is only part of the joy.
Two years ago we vacationed up in Minnesota. The first evening we went out to a bay across the lake. There was a bald eagle waiting for us in a tree high above the shoreline. A kingfisher came flying low along the shoreline, squawking. He landed in an overhanging tree, and then dove in after a fish. We saw and heard a loon maybe 80 yards away. He disappeared and then surfaced quite near us. It was great. I think we only caught one little bass. But it was great. We’ve had several family fishing vacations and the kids, especially the boys, love fishing.
But then time comes to clean the fish, if we caught any. And suddenly I’m on my own. When those fish come out of the water they are slimy. They flop around a lot. They can smell. More than once I’ve been stabbed by dorsal fins. It’s a messy job getting them cleaned up. But I can do it pretty quick. And I think it’s more than worth it.
Jesus treated the mission of the church as a lot like fishing. He told some of his disciples, who were already professional fishermen, that he was going to have them fish for people now. So the life of the church is a lot like fishing.
We’ve been talking for several weeks about the joys of the church, being together, this wonderful mission of building a community that reflects the very nature of God’s love in the way we love each other. Last week we talked about humility and gentleness as key elements of making that community work. A community that is permeated with humility and gentleness is a joy and a blessing.
The older I get the more I recognize the importance of the doctrine of the church, what theologians call ecclesiology. When we organize the church God’s way and treat one another God’s way, the church has a powerful impact on the world. So it’s worth it to do everything we can to fine tune this incredible living organism, God’s church.
But did you ever notice that when the fish first come into the church, they don’t always arrive all cleaned up, calm and ready to go? Have you ever noticed that? Sometimes they flop around an awful lot. Sometimes they’re smelly. Sometimes they stab you. And then you remember Pastor Steve’s sermon on being humble and gentle with each other and you really try it, but they didn’t even notice. And you want to be a good, loving church member, but the reality is that they bug you most of the time. And you know that’s not right. But what can you do?
If you’re fishing for fish and could throw back every fish that doesn’t arrive already cleaned up, sanitary wrapped and ready to go. But how many fish come into your boat already cleaned up? None. If you want to play the sport you’ve got to work with smelly fish.
There’s a temptation in the church to throw every one back that doesn’t arrive all cleaned up for us. “That one’s obnoxious, throw it back!” “Throw it back.” But fishing will never pay off like that. And the church will never pay off like that.
And cleaning a fish really doesn’t take very long. You just cut off the head, the tail and the fins. You cut open its gut and take the organs out. You scrape off the scales. You dunk it in your rinse bucket and you’re done.
But that doesn’t work with church members. It may take a lot longer for them to clean up. It can take a lot of patience. And churches who want to be effective in making disciples and in building a fellowship of love that really demonstrates the very heart of God need to learn godly patience.
Look at Jacob in the Old Testament. He was a conniver, a cheat. But the day came when he really came to himself and he wrestled with God and God brought him around. But it was a long time coming. God had tremendous patience. The story moves on to Jacob’s son, Joseph. God’s patience paid off and Joseph had just incredible character. Even in horrible circumstances he refused to cut corners. God’s patience worked!
For our text this morning, we return to the words of the Apostle Paul from Ephesians 4:1-6.
1 I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. 4 There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, 5 one Lord, one faith, one baptism, 6 one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.
After humility and gentleness, Paul tells us to be patient with one another. I read in a book once that sometimes church members have to be patient with one another. Can you believe that happens?
Now I want you to help me. To flesh out patience a bit, let’s say someone is bugging you and you are not feeling patient at all, in fact, very impatient, what would be some of the things you would be tempted to do?
Tell them off.
Complain about them to someone else
Just avoid them.
And those get some kind of response and resolve that tension you feel inside. You got it off your chest. But do they build unity in the church? No, they block it’s growth, they block the flow of love that nourishes the church. Some of them tear its very fabric.
Paul says that the church needs patience. The Greek word he chose might be translated more literally, ‘taking a long time to get fired up.’ Or one book I have with suggestions for people translating the Bible into other languages, that if the language doesn’t have a word for ‘patience,’ you might use a phrase like, ‘stay seated in your heart.’ Keep cool. Don’t let it get to you. Vengeance belongs to God, not you. You are called to serve. And when we serve one another, patiently, we create space for God to work.
But patience doesn’t mean we do nothing. It doesn’t mean ‘you go your way and I’ll go mine.’ It doesn’t mean, ‘we can worship in the same room, but I’m not going to have anything to do with him.’
I want to be very clear that the Christian virtue of patience is very different from our modern, secular virtue of tolerance. Tolerance says “I’ll put up with you. I’ll leave you alone. You go your way and I’ll go mine, you believe what you want and I’ll believe what I want.” Is that the love that is within the Trinity? Is that the love of God? Is that the way God was treating us when he became a human being and walked with us and died on the cross for us? Tolerance doesn’t really care about that other person at all. It falls far short of Christian love. Tolerance just leaves the fish smelly. And probably causes them to get worse.
Christian loving patience doesn’t just tolerate people. It comes closer to help them be healed and grow.
This week, thinking about this, I gained a new appreciation for a verse in Paul’s First Letter to the Thessalonians. He wrote, in chapter 5, verse 14, “And we urge you, beloved, to admonish the idlers, encourage the faint hearted, help the weak, be patient with all of them.”
Be patient with all these difficult people. But be involved with them.
One type of involvement is admonishment. That’s not a word we use nearly enough. My dictionary defines admonishment as “to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner.”
Have you ever had a friend quietly, gently take you aside and tell you that you need to shape up? And they did it with that patience that lets you know they aren’t threatening to cut you off or hurt you in any way. They just really care about you and want the best for you. And they care enough about you to risk admonishing you. That’s a real friend. In the church, if we really do love one another and we have our spirits quiet enough inside us to do it, we can patiently, constructively admonish one another. And God can use that to help us grow.
One of the best places for that is in small groups and classes where you study God’s word together and make the time to build relationships where you can trust each other and understand each other. That’s where Christians really grow in the faith.
Back to 1 Thessalonians 5:14, Paul says that besides admonishment you can encourage people. That’s a powerful means of helping people grow and change.
When I was in college I sometimes worked the midnight shift at the local Clark gas station. That was in the days when they were open 24 hours. You were supposed to hurry out to meet each car, wash all the glass, offer to check the oil, and then give them stamps when it is all done.
We had to sell cigarettes. I couldn’t believe that people would waste so much money on them, 45 cents a pack. And since the gas station never closed, the box was out on the driveway between the pumps. And it was important to keep the cigarettes organized well because there might be a rush as commuters are heading home and you’d need to be able to find what each person wanted quickly.
But often you would start your shift and find out that the person ahead of you had left the cigarette box in a mess.
One night my best friend came down to hang out with me as my shift was starting. He noticed that the cigarette box was a mess and just casually started organizing it for me. Without thinking I commented that I had just read somewhere that if people liked to organize things, that was a sign of intelligence.
Funniest thing, he was back the next night and he went straight to the cigarette box and started organizing it for me again. What power that word of encouragement had! It motivated him.
So, while we are being patient with people, we can admonish them. We can encourage them. And, Paul says, to help the weak.
Parents, anyone who has spent time with young children knows that there are days when they just can’t cope. Maybe they are sleepy. Maybe they are stressed by too much stimulation or too much change and they just get cranky. And it isn’t that they are terrible children. It’s not that they intend to hurt anyone. It’s just that they are kids. You could say that they are weak. And you just have to help them by being understanding and by gently giving them boundaries.
But it isn’t just kids who have those weak moments. There are plenty of wounded adults out there who are feeling overwhelmed and acting badly out of that stress. For those people who especially need our patience, we can help them by being understanding, giving gentle support, giving them boundaries.
Patience doesn’t mean mere tolerance or neglect. Christian patience remains connected and involved. And it does it as gently and constructively as possible.
And I want to say one more thing about patience and this one I’ll do very quickly. Patience does have limits. Sometimes people get the feeling that they can just keep misbehaving and there will never be consequences and they do terrible damage to the church. Our first response should be patience. But know that there is a time for God’s people to say, “This has to stop.”
If you don’t have that permission in the back of your head and you figure you just have to give and give and you hit that one person who just takes and takes, the day will come when they are destroying the church and you blow up in a most impatient and unconstructive reaction. Don’t let it go that far. You can say, “This stops now” before that point comes.
Is there someone in the church that is difficult for you to relate to? Remember three things.
Patience is necessary in the church
Patience is not mere tolerance or inactivity
Patience has limits
AMEN
