Introduction
The pace of change is breath taking. In 1984, just 8% of households had a personal computer, the World Wide Web was still five years away, and cell phones were not only enormous, but scarce. In 1990, 96% of Americans had no cell phone and now 95% do. Just since 2008, the app store was invented which has so given rise to social media. All of this in the name of being connected and closer to each other. You will remember that last week I stated that we are designed/created to connect. We can't escape the need to connect. However, the very technology designed to help us achieve the connection we so deeply crave gets in the way.
Let me illustrate . . . (Family to table with everyone on the phone).
Isn't this picture or our day? In the same room but unable to connect face to face. Having our head in our app can negatively impact our marriage and our family!
92% of divorces showed cellphone or some type of tech device as proof of infidelity.
16% of married folks reported that their partner’s use of Facebook directly contributes to their level of jealously.
A recent study, published in Computers in Human Behavior, compared state-by-state divorce rates to per-capita Facebook accounts. The study found a link between social media use and decreased marriage quality in every model analyzed. one in three divorces now start as online affairs.
A whopping 30% of Tinder users are married. A popular website that's sole purpose is for married folks to find someone to have an affair with is visited by over 130 million people worldwide every month.
One study found that when the working parent arrived home after work, their children were so immersed in technology that the parent was greeted only 30% of the time and they were totally ignored 50% of the time.
Another study reported that family time was not affected when technology was used for school, but did hurt family communications when used for social reasons. Interestingly, children who spent considerable time on a popular social networking site indicated that they felt less supported by their parents.
And perhaps the most obvious sign that our apps are getting in the way . . . 60 years ago the average time the family sat together at the dinner table was 90 minutes. Now the average time a family sits at the table together is 12 minutes.
When you connect that with this finding . . .
Children who eat dinner with their parents five or more days a week have less trouble with drugs, alcohol, eat healthier, show better academic performance, and report being closer with their parents than children who eat dinner with their parents less often.
Just from the information I have shared with you so far I can stand here and tell you that we need to get our head out of our app. However, I don't think we really have a grasp or understanding of the high price we pay when we allow technology to separate or distance us from our family.
The only way to get that understanding is to go to Scripture to see what we miss if we don't come back to the table.
TEXT: Deuteronomy 6:1-9 (Message)
This is the commandment (notice it doesn't say suggestion), the rules and regulations, that God, your God, commanded me to teach you to live out in the land you’re about to cross into to possess. This is so that you’ll live in deep reverence before God lifelong, observing all his rules and regulations that I’m commanding you, you and your children and your grandchildren, living good long lives. Listen obediently, Israel. Do what you’re told so that you’ll have a good life, a life of abundance and bounty, just as God promised, in a land abounding in milk and honey. Attention, Israel! God, our God! God the one and only! Love God, your God, with your whole heart: love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you’ve got! Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminder; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates.
Just as a side note 4-6 is the Shema. This the most prayed prayer in history. It is recited every morning and evening in Israel. Muslims pray 5 times a day. Jews pray twice a day. And Christians pray . . . ???
The crux of this entire passage is about time together.
We need to get our head out of our app and come back to the table because if we don't . . .
We won't have reverence.
Do I even need to talk about the lack of reverence that plagues our culture or our homes? Nothing is sacred. Marriage isn't sacred. Family time isn't sacred. Nothing is off limits. Nothing is wrong. No standards. Standards are set by sitting and discussing what is right and wrong. If you don't do this, then don't be surprised if social media dictates what is OK.
We won't have abundance and a long good life.
We all desire abundance. We all desire a long good life. However, just like all blessings from God there is always a condition that must be met. We will be blessed if we do these things. Too often we want the result without taking the steps to produce the result. We want the promise without the process. Abundance and a long good life are conditional based upon our willingness to spend time talking about the regulations and commands on a consistent basis. Scripture tells us to be marked/inscribed with the laws. You are marked by what you meditate on. A fleeting thought doesn't leave permanent paths. It is what you dwell on, dwell in that will leave permanent patterns that you will follow.
We won't spiritually educate our children.
Notice the progression that is necessary for this process to work. First the commands have to be in us and then we get them inside our kids. Too many of us have nothing to deposit in our kids because we have nothing deposited in us. The result is we pass the responsibility of our children's spiritual education to someone else! Our children are supposed to hear our heart and our voice (we have to speak about it) but if we aren't depositing the things of God in our heart, then we have no heart and no voice to share. So, our youth look elsewhere. Whose voice is taking the place of yours? Who is training your kids spiritually? You can't hand that responsibility to someone else. You can have divinely appointed partners but you can't allow substitutes! They will connect! Let's determine that they will connect with us so that we can connect them to God!
Table talk matters.
It isn't just enough to declare the commands of God. The instruction is that the commands must also be deposited. The command is to get the commands inside our children. The difference between His commands getting into their head and into their heart is simply repeated face-to-face conversations. The commands must be securely fastened to in the hearts of our family. The table is where we use "The Law of Implementation." You have to repeat something until it is repeatedly done.
To be clear, for this to be accomplished our conversations must be consistently centered.
I would venture to say that our conversations tend to revolve around our culture more than our Christ. Honestly think about how much time in your home is used to talk about God. How much time is spent talking about sports, school, society, hobbies in comparison to talking about God? Constantly reminders of our standards.
Want to have a strong marriage? Get your head out of your app. Want to godly and committed kids? Get your head out of your app.
I want to challenge you practically this week. Last week, I asked you to fight the flash by laying your devices down one hour a day. Now I want want to challenge you to come back to the table (family comes and sits down and stacks phones). Around the table - phones down - our head out of our app - our marriages will be strengthened. Our kids will be healthier. Our conversations about God will involve God in our family! If you are single you are not excluded. You find other folks that are like minded and practice this. At least 2 times this coming week eat together undistracted and talk!
