In this Part, our focus will be Agape Love. Now let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8,13 GNT
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.
Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. Meanwhile, these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love.”
Agape love which is the love of God is the greatest force on earth. It has two components - Patience & kindness. This is the love that cements Philia, Eros, and Storge, especially within a marriage relationship. If humans can add agape love to all relationships, there will be no more broken homes, divorces, death from domestic violence, the prison system will not be needed. There will be no war between people, communities, and nations. In fact, the earth will be a peaceful place.
How then can a person express Agape love? Before a person can express agape love, that individual must have first experienced it personally. The one who can express agape love would have encountered, received, embraced and appropriated agape. For it is impossible to give what you don’t have. One of the main sources of frustration some people had experienced in their quest for love, is that they expect partners, relatives or friends to love them unconditionally when they, the friends do not know what agape love looks like. They themselves are also searching for agape love.
To experience agape, a person must have encountered God who is love personified. John the Apostle puts it this way “Dear friends, let us love one another because love comes from God. (8) Whoever loves, is a child of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love.”
(16) And we ourselves know and believe the love which God has for us. God is love, and those who live in love live in union with God and God lives in union with them.
(19) We love because God first loved us.” 1 John 4:7-8,16,19
Once we have met with God who is love, then we are now able to share that love with somebody else. However, receiving the love of God is one thing, the ability to share this love is another. Agape cannot be expressed unless all obstacles to love are removed.
What are these obstacles?
Again, let’s look at 1 Corinthians 13:4b-8.
Love is not jealous or conceited or proud; (5) love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; (6) love does not keep a record of wrongs; (7) love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. (8) Love is eternal, (never comes to an end).
The obstacles are what love is not: Love is not jealous, boastful, proud, rude, does not demand its own way, is not irritable, keeps no record of being wronged or thinks no evil, love does not rejoice in iniquity (about injustice). All of these items listed are the obstacles to receiving, experiencing and expressing love. Until we allow Jesus through the study of His words to heal us from these negative emotions we will not be able to receive God’s love. If we are incapable of receiving God’s love, it is therefore impossible to share the same love with others. To remove the obstacles to love, we first need to identify and understand agape love.
Love is a thing of the will. It is an act. It is a fruit that the Holy Spirit produces in us as God’s children. Love is sacrificial. Love is giving up of a valued thing for the sake of something else more important, worthy and urgent. Love is the willing sacrificial giving of oneself for the benefit of another without thought of return. The bible puts it this way: “No! Love your enemies and do good to them; lend and expect nothing back. You will then have a great reward, and you will be children of the Most High God. For he is good to the ungrateful and the wicked. Be merciful just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:35-36
1: Love is patient. A patient person never gives up. The word patient also means long-suffering: not in strife but patient with others. Patience also means endurance. To suffer, to undergo pain, hardship, difficulties, problems without giving up. As humans, by nature, we are quick to throw people out of our lives who are giving us grief which is portrayed in the high divorce rates in today’s society. However, expressing agape love means always being patient with others. When you are being patient, you are sacrificing something. Maybe your right, comfort, pleasure or time. For example, 1 Corinthians 6:6-8 says “you should allow yourself to be defrauded rather than go to court with a fellow brother or sister”. That is, if you are a Christian, a fellow brother or sister means fellow Christians.
Patience is something we learn. Nobody was born patient. I am still learning; I am sure there are people like me still learning. Some of my learning experiences came from been cheated out of money by people in my local church on more than one occasion. My first experience, I was a new Christian and had joined a local church. I had a boutique where I sold fashion accessories. The wife of one of the church leaders who was introduced to me, requested for some of my goods for her to sell and then bring me the money. I was extremely shocked when she never returned the goods nor the money. Another lady also requested to help sell some pieces of jewelry, she took them, wore some of them and returned them used claiming she could not sell them. Again many years later I became a Pastor, and one of my congregants came to me for help to pay tuition fees. I gave him the money but he refused to return it. After two years of demanding, he returned some and went away with a large sum. I could see that he did not want to return it even though he had a job. He later left the church without paying the money back. After he left, I deleted his contact from my phone as I was so angry to have been cheated yet again. Then one day as I was studying love, I came across the sentence “love is kind.” Then not long after that study, this same man sent me a photograph of himself. I just prayed for God to forgive him. Does that mean I was no longer angry with him? No. But I am just asking God for patience every day. As a result of my experience, I advise that any money you can’t forgo, please don't lend it in order to avoid situations like mine.
Someone may ask what happens if I am in a relationship that involves domestic violence? Should I continue to stay with him or her and just be patient? The answer would be that biblically God allows for separation but that the one who is separating, should remain unmarried (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). My suggestion is that love is better practiced in a safe space where no life is in danger. It is better to separate whilst still showing agape love but also supporting the perpetrator from a safe place in getting help if they are willing to. Until they are fully restored and are no longer violent, then and only then should the partner who endured the abuse return.
The Bible encourages us to practice commitment to agape love. This week I encourage you to keep a diary and record all the moments where you find yourself practicing patience in your daily activities. Let’s declare this week a week of showing love to everyone around us. Let's start with our family members at home, then in church and the community at large. “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, they should learn first to carry out their religious duties toward their own family and in this way repay their parents and grandparents, because that is what pleases God.”
1 Timothy 5:4
We have now concluded this 2nd part. In the third part, we will look at the second component of love and then move on to identify how we can eliminate the obstacles that can hinder us from expressing this love.
Let’s take a moment to pray.
But first, only children of God can access the gift of agape love. If you do not yet know Jesus, you may not be able to understand what agape love looks like and therefore you won’t be able to share it with others. If you are willing, please take this step to accept Jesus into your life right now by saying this prayer.
“Lord Jesus I believe you came to this world to die for my sins. I confess that I have sinned and ask for your forgiveness. I accept you as my Lord and Saviour. Please come into my life and bless me with the gift of your Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit I welcome you into my heart and ask you to lead and guide me from now on in Jesus name I pray.”
If you have genuinely prayed these prayers from your heart, then congratulations the love of God is yours for the asking.
Let’s all now pray.
“This hope does not disappoint us, for God has poured out his love into our hearts by means of the Holy Spirit, who is God's gift to us.”
Romans 5:5
“Heavenly Father I thank you for the outpouring of your love in my heart. Please, father, help me to receive this love. Help me to appropriate it in my life. Father help me to allow your love to fill my heart. Father help me to properly relate with You and accept your love in Jesus name, amen.”
