Today we are continuing our new family series called This is US.
Everyone has a family and every family has a story. What we want to get pressed deep within our hearts through this series is that God is an integral part in your Family Story. We’re going to take a look at several Bible Families and see, first, that none of them were perfect and, second, that we can see our own Family Story reflected in these families.
Last week Pastor Dave brought you the story of Abraham and Sarah. Today we get to look at their miracle-baby Isaac grow up and have children of his own. Isaac was the one who God would use to fulfill His covenant promise he gave to Abraham to make him the father of many nations. Speaking of to Abraham about Isaac, God said
I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.” (Genesis 22:17-18)
God sovereignly orchestrates the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah. It is literally a match made in heaven.
When Rebekah met her beloved Isaac and heard him talk about God’s promise—she fully expected to soon be pregnant. But it did not happen. And now twenty years had passed, Isaac was approaching sixty, and Rebekah was still barren! Isaac’s brother Ishmael had produced twelve sons to Isaac’s zero.
The reason was because God was teaching his people that the promised blessing through Isaac could not be accomplished by mere human effort. We saw that last week in the life of Sarah. This is how it would be for Sarah’s daughter-in-laws Rachael and Leah. And ultimately the promise would culminate with Elizabeth, the mother of John the Baptist and—last but definitely not least—Mary, the mother of our Lord and Savior Jesus.
Isaac’s Family
In Genesis chapter 25, we have the first reality parenting show. Isaac and Rebekah lives are exposed for everyone to see the faults and the successes of parenting. Parenting is hard and some of our kids will be easier than others.
The Huffington Post
Top 10 Common Mistakes Parents Make
(Huffington Post Dec.2017)
#10 Worshipping our children
#9 Believing our children are perfect
#8 Living vicariously through our children
#7 Wanting to be our child’s BFF
#6 Engaging in competitive parenting
#5 Missing the wonder of childhood
#4 Raising the child we want not the child we have
#3 Forgetting our actions speak louder than words
#2 Judging other parents and their children
#1 Underestimating Character
To be quite honest with you, as you look over the parenting techniques of Isaac and Rebekah, there just are not a lot of good qualities to rave about! But I tried my best to find some the first one I found is in 25 verse 21
And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she was barren. And the Lord granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. (Genesis 25:21)
Isaac and Rebekah were joined together in prayer!
This leads me to my first principle for today.
1. Praying together as parents UNITES your family unlike anything else can!
Are you and your spouse praying together? For your kids? For your marriage? For your family? Isaac and Rebekah were diligent at praying! Isaac was 40 years old when he prayed for Rebekah! And he was 60 years old when Rebekah gave birth! That means…ISAAC AND REBEKAH PRAYED FOR 20 YEARS! Parents are called to be diligent in praying together! There is a couple reasons why. While you are praying and waiting, God is making YOU spiritually fit to receive what He has in store for you! And every time you kneel down in faith, God is working on YOU! He’s working on your faith! Prayer just isn’t changing things and situations…prayer changes us! What was God doing for the 20 years while Isaac prayed? God was working on Isaac! God was teaching him that the fulfillment of the promised blessing could not be accomplished by mere human effort. They needed God’s divine intervention and we need the same for our kids.
This leads to the next point
2. The greatest thing our kids need we cannot give them. Only God can give them salvation, a new heart, and a new life.
So we must take them to God in prayer. Rebekah also went to God—in prayer—with their problems. Verse 22
The children struggled together within her, and she said, “If it is thus, why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord. And the Lord said to her, “Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you shall be divided; the one shall be stronger than the other, the older shall serve the younger.” (Genesis 25:22–23).
She felt something was not right with her pregnancy. Those who have been pregnant and lost a baby, you can understand the worry and the anxiety that Rebekah must have been feeling. She had been barren her whole life.
And now she was pregnant and there is something going on with these babies. I am not too sure if she had a doctor she could visit. She didn’t have ultra-sounds. But she did have God! When your family is faced with a crisis who do you go to? Doctors are great! God given blessing! Go see the doctor! Counselors are wonderful! Wisdom from another one’s perspective can be enlightening and is certainly Biblical! But is our first response to go to God in prayer?
This leads me to my next principle
3. When faced with a crisis the FIRST place you and your family need to go is to God in prayer.
We are going to see in a moment that Rebekah was not a perfect mom. But when she felt her babies where in trouble she went to Him in prayer and God told her exactly what’s going on. God says I’ve got good news and bad news. Your kid’s are fine but they are not going to get along when they are born… and the fighting has already begun! More than that, what’s going on in your womb is part of my greater plan to give grace and mercy to those of my choosing. I have decided the older will serve the younger. Griffith Thomas said
“The order of nature is not necessarily the order of grace” Griffith Thomas
This is a common theme throughout the bible. God chose that Esau would serve the younger Jacob.
This is not the natural order of things. The New Testament is painstakingly clear that the order of nature does not determine the order of grace. Paul writes;
“But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God” (1 Corinthians 1:27–29).
Our traditions do not determine grace. The norms in our lives do not dictate grace. And the way we have things planned out in our mind does not control God’s distribution of grace
This leads me to my next principle
4. God bestows his GRACE on whom he pleases.
This is great news for us.
Because “News Flash” if we or our kids received what we all “Naturally” deserved… It would not be grace! Jacob became the heir because God chose him, and not because he was a great kid. His name means “deceiver.” To grasp someone by the heel was apparently a figure of speech meaning “to deceive.” Or trip someone up. So God’s choice was not based on Jacob’s behavior. The twins were not even born when the choice was made. Paul wrote about God’s sovereign election in Romans 9;
Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad—in order that God’s purpose in election might stand: not by works but by him who calls—she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” Just as it is written: “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.” (Romans 9:11–13)
God sovereignly chose Jacob and rejected Esau. Some would not think that is fare but both boys were undeserved. What we should marvel at is not at the rejection of Esau but at the choice God made to give Jacob grace. When we consider what we need as parents is God’s grace. We are not perfect either. Our children need the same thing. Thankfully the good news is God loves sinners. In John’s gospel we read;
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)
We must understand that;
“The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance” (2 Peter 3:9).
This is really good news because our kids need God’s grace. It is really good news for Jacob considering what takes place next.
Verse 27
When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. Once when Jacob was cooking stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted. And Esau said to Jacob, “Let me eat some of that red stew, for I am exhausted!” (Therefore his name was called Edom.) Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” Esau said, “I am about to die; of what use is a birthright to me?” Jacob said, “Swear to me now.” So he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright. (Genesis 25:27–34).
This was a very poor choice on Esau’s part. The decision was anything but good! The birthright was rightfully his as the oldest son! With it, he got a double portion of the inheritance and he was responsible for the well being of the family after the dad would die. Twice as much land, animals, money as the other kids in the family. So there was value to the birthright. And it was certainly worth more than a bowl of soup. But all Esau cared about was his immediate needs and in doing so he gave up his birthright. God doesn’t tell us Jacob took advantage of his brother. Rather Esau despised his birthright. Esau sealed his own fate. He was far more concerned with feeding his appetite and had little regard to God’s word and his responsibilities. And where was Isaac while all this was going down? He would certainly became aware of it but the Bible doesn’t say he did anything about it.
God’s silence here speaks volumes. I think its because Isaac allowed his son to live with his mistake.
His son was grown up and able to make decisions for himself. He would have to live in the consequences of his own mistakes. I’ve known parents who continually cleaned up the messes of their fully grown kids! It’s not loving as much as it is enabling if you are bailing your kids out every time they make a mistake. Isaac did a good thing letting Esau live into his mistake.
This leads me to my next point.
5. Parents are to protect their kids from harm and let them live in and learn from the their mistakes.
For many of us—including myself—experience is the best teacher. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is allow your kids to make mistakes so they can learn from them. I am horrible at this by the way. I know I can talk to my boys until I blue in the face. There is a lot to learn through failing. When our kids learn to walk, they will fall. And it’s when they fall that will learn how to walk a little better. Same is true when learning to ride a bike. Are your kids going to learn to ride the bike by always having the training wheels on? There will come a time when you take the training wheels off so they will learn how to ride on their own!! This what God allows us to do? He allows us to make mistakes so we can learn from them.
FROM GOOD TO BAD TO WORST
So those are the good things that Isaac and Rebekah did as parents: They prayed together, they went to the Lord with their problems, and they let their kids make mistakes. That was tough to find because there is much more bad than good. And it all begins with the parents having favorites.
Verse 25
When the boys grew up, Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was a quiet man, dwelling in tents. Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. Genesis 25:27
Esau - was more like his dad - an outdoors kind of guy. A man of the open country. A hunter who loved wild game.
Esau was loud. Boisterous. And got things done. He was hairy and very masculine. Aggressive. Jacob - was more like his mom. Soft spoken. Quiet. Passive. And the problem wasn’t that they were different, the problem was that the parents preferred one over the other. And how did they show which one they loved more? We don’t know. But parents…go out of your way to make sure your kids love them all the same!
This leads me to the next principle
6. The best way to show you love your kids the same is through consistency!
Consistent in your discipline! (Some discipline with a look and some need to be…). Consistent in your gifts! Consistent in your rules! Consistent in your love! When you don’t treat your kids with the same kind of love, it breeds jealousy! Nothing good comes from playing favorites! The next thing we see that they did wrong is they weren’t parenting as a team. In chapter 27, we see an elaborate hoax unfold. Isaac is old and is wants to pass along the blessing to the oldest son. This was the blessing God had first established with Abraham: Your nations will be great…I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you. But Rebekah convinces her son Jacob to impersonate Esau by wearing a goat suit and tricking Isaac into blessing him! Why would Rebekah undermine the authority of her husband? It goes back to the consequence of Eve’s decision in the garden!
Your desire will be for your husband… (Ge 3:16)
She desired her husband’s authority! One had one set of goals. The other parent had a completely different set of goals! These two parents weren’t only not PARENTING together, they were headed in opposite directions!
They weren’t communicating, they weren’t supporting each other’s decisions and it had adverse effects on how their kids behaved! There is nothing you can do to ensure that your kids grow up to follow the Lord. But there are things you can do to ensure they won’t! Learn from the mistakes of parents who have gone on before you! And resolve to be different!
This story goes from bad to worse. This part of the message is for all of the kids out there. Raise your hand if you were born to parents. Not everyone here is going to be married and have kids. But we are all children to the parents that raised us. God tells us kids to…
Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:2–3).
How do you do that? Make decisions that will make your parents proud! The worst side of parenting is when your kids make poor decisions that just break your heart! When your kids grow up and go out on their own, they are going to be responsible for their own decisions. Regardless of the fact that their parents where obviously partly to blame. Jacob and Esau made some decisions in their life that didn’t honor their Mom and Dad. Jacob would go on to deceive his dad. Lying to your parents doesn’t bring them honor! It doesn’t make them proud! Esau went against the advice of his dad and married ungodly women! Notice what it says in Genesis 26:34-35
When Esau was forty years old, he took Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite to be his wife, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite, and they made life bitter for Isaac and Rebekah. (Genesis 26:34–35)
Is your daughter or son dating a non-Christian? You might think it’s harmless. They are only in high school…”
Here is my final point I want to make to parents. If you’re not serious about teaching your kids in the PRESENT don’t get upset with them after they get SERIOUS about a relationship in the future. God tells us in Proverbs
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6)
Kids, pursue relationships that will honor your parents! Relationships that God and your parents will be proud of! Successful parenting is doing all you can you to raise Christian kids that honor you and bring glory to God. It’s been my experience that God is super patent with us and it’s never too late to change the way we parent.
PRAY
