TITLE: FATHERHOOD
SCRIPTURE: MALACHI 4:4-6 / ST. LUKE 1:17
Fatherhood is the foundation of the heart and love of God. And that is what is missing from this generation. All the insurmountable problems we are facing as a nation today go back to the home, which is the greatest centralized force in any society.
• Lack of strong, fatherly leadership in the home is the precursor to a nation's demise
• Thank God for all the mothers who have done it successfully on their own, but that never was heaven's design
Over the past few years I have noticed a trend in which single mothers are wishing other single mothers -- A HAPPY FATHER'S DAY. And while it is your right to do so, no one can argue that. This trend is a trend that on a very subtle level we need to be mindful of. With that being said, with as much as Mothers hold it down on their own -- you are still not your child's father. You are Mothers to your child or children.
• No doubt, your role is vital
• You are the nucleus of your family
• No one can argue that
• No doubt, you go to bat for your children day in and day out -- no one can argue that either
• No doubt, you've got to make a dollar out of 15 cents, especially if your child's father is not doing right by his child -- no one can argue that either
But what can be argued from a clinical and epidemiological point of view is the irreparable damage that is done when we undercut the role that a father plays in his child’s life -- even when he is not present, even when he is not doing all that he can to help his children thrive. Do not misunderstand the point being made, the mothers who have the difficult task of managing the lives of their children alone should be honored and respected but according to the definition a woman simply cannot be a father.
• A child needs both parents
• But the roles these parents occupy are unique and equally invaluable
• Even within the current culture that appreciates and encourages same-sex parents - don’t get it twisted -- there will either be two dads or two moms
On this third Sunday of June that has been designated as Father’s Day – I want to challenge men to return to the word of God. This Old and New Testament text says -- HE WILL TURN THE HEARTS OF THE FATHERS TO THE CHILDREN. Let’s examine this for a few minutes. The book of Malachi closes out the OT followed by approximately 400 silent years and then the NT opens. Isn’t it interesting the final word in the OT is a pointed and specific focus on the relationships between fathers and children? Of all the things that Malachi could have told us as this OT closes, he chooses to make reference to the preaching of the future "ELIJAH," - he chooses to tell us in VS. 6 that "HE WILL TURN THE HEARTS OF FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN AND THE HEARTS OF CHILDREN TO THEIR FATHERS, LEST I COME AND SMITE THE LAND WITH A CURSE."
The OT ends in a rather unusual way, with an abrupt prophetic promise and warning. In one sense the verses act as a bridge between the Old and New Testaments, which is to be expected. But of all the ways to end the Old Testament I would not have expected a description of Elijah the prophet's ministry to be "AND HE WILL TURN OF THE HEARTS OF THE FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN AND THE HEARTS OF CHILDREN TO THEIR FATHERS."
• To this description is attached the terrible consequences of the failure of hearts to turn — "LEST I COME AND SMITE THE LAND WITH A CURSE"
• To be perfectly frank with you, I believe this is the condition of our nation today
We find this same challenge in the NT as we have read in ST. LUKE 1:17. Since it is repeated in the NT, it must be significant, it must be important for us to understand the message. Here we are in the year 2019 and I am not convinced we have taken these words and warning to heart. There is still a disconnect between Fathers and their Children, especially between Father’s and their Son’s. A survey some years ago revealed that –
• 98 percent of imprisoned men have contact with their mothers
• While only 2 percent have contact with their fathers
Why such a disparity? Isn't it because men are more prone to be Hard-Hearted? Now Sisters, I did not say “Hard Headed” I said Hard-Hearted. There is an increased risk of their hard-heartedness producing an irreparable and damaged father-son relationship?
• Women generally are not hard-hearted in that way
• It is men who find it difficult to forgive
• To cry, to say the words "I love you"
• To show even a little emotion and affection
• To express the tender things that are in their hearts and how they really feel
Some years ago the Department Of Health And Human Services posted these statistics --
• Boys without fathers in their lives are 63 percent more likely to run away from home
• 37 percent more likely to use drugs
• Boys and girls without their father’s involvement are twice as likely to drop out of school
• Twice as likely to go to jail
• Nearly four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems
Establishing a strong God-given identity and worth from a very tender age is vital to our children's overall health and effectiveness in life. Part of a child’s identity is established by the constant love and affirmation the parents give them.
• The father especially is to be a strong affirming voice in his son's life
• His masculinity, courage and strength should be continually spoken to
• A father should not only correct and discipline his son, but show constant approval and pleasure with him
Remember what God said about Jesus when Jesus was in the Jordan after being baptized by JOHN? ST. MATTHEW 3:17 "THIS IS MY BELOVED SON IN WHOM I AM WELL PLEASED.” Let that sink in for a moment. What a powerful and STRONG ACCLAMATION!
• This tells me as a parent when a child is valued and esteemed, it increases their chances a hundredfold to be successful in life
Fathers are foundation layers. They establish their son's and their daughter's Identity - Value - Worth, so that a child will never question their father's love for them. Without this assurance children can grow up Hurt - Angry - Confused, not knowing who they really are, and where they are going. The father's stamp of approval on his sons and daughters becomes the foundation of their life, their identity, and their future.
As fathers, we need to love and affirm our children, but we also need to TEACH OUR CHILDREN WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT THEM, AND WHO THEY ARE IN CHRIST.
• Their esteem and worth is primarily derived from the high price and great sacrifice Jesus paid to save us
• Our children's worth and esteem must have their roots in knowing that God loves them just the way they are and that His love is not based on their performance or behavior
• As fathers, our primary responsibility is to exemplify this heart of our heavenly Father toward our children
Recall with me how our opening text began - VS. 4 began with these words – “REMEMBER YE THE LAW OF MOSES MY SERVANT….” What does that mean? Maybe the best way to bring out the sense of this command is to look at some analogies.
• REMEMBER LOT'S WIFE! -- In ST. LUKE 17:32 - Jesus appeals for a sense of urgency in the last day and warns against trying to save your life by piling up worldly securities. To drive this home, he says, "Remember Lot's wife!"
• Why? Because the Memory can save them from a similar fate
• There are many people who have been taken by the hand and brought out of the city of destruction, who then look back with ungrateful longing for the ways of sin and in that moment are hardened like a pillar of salt
• But Jesus says, "Remember Lot's wife!" Let that memory live and have power in your life! MEMORY IS A MEANS OF SALVATION
• REMEMBER THE ALAMO!" -- You may remember the story of the Texas Revolution. In December 1835 the Texas revolutionaries took the town of San Antonio
• The fortress there was called the Alamo and was guarded by 150 men when Santa Anna, with Mexican forces, came against the town on February 26 the next year
• With 32 reinforcements the Texans held off the enemy until March 6 when the siege ended in bloody hand to hand combat and every Texan was dead including JIM BOWIE and DAVY CROCKET
• Why Remember the Alamo? Because the past exerts power in the present through the GIFT OF MEMORY
• Memory is Power
• The person who says that history is bunk, or that the past is gone and all that matters is the present, just doesn't know much about real life
• In real life memory has tremendous power to Inspire and Guide
That is why our text says -- REMEMBER THE LAW! -- When God says, "Remember the law!" I think it ought to ring in our ears the same way "Remember the Alamo!" rang in the ears of the Texas Revolutionaries. It means --
• Don't forget what happened at Horeb!
• How I brought you on eagle's wings out of Egypt!
• How I came down with power and glory on Mt. Horeb, and revealed my love and holiness
• And made a covenant with you of all the peoples on the earth
• And taught you the way of life and everlasting joy with good commandments and wise statutes and ordinances only meant for your good!
It means --
• You are in a war
• The powers of darkness will constantly try to put out the light of truth in your life
• Worldliness fights for your mind everyday
• But I mean for you to fight back!
• Fight for the freedom of your mind!
• And there is only one hope of success - REMEMBER THE LAW!"
In VS. 4 we look back and remember the Law of God.
• In VS. 5 we look forward and see the Victory of God and the Mercy of God
• Considering the Effects of God's Merciful Word
Now in VS. 6 we see one of the effects of that Mercy — and an unexpected one at that. When Elijah preaches, and cries out for people to get ready to meet on the great and terrible day of the Lord, what happens? VS 6 - "AND HE WILL TURN THE HEARTS OF FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN AND THE HEARTS OF CHILDREN TO THEIR FATHERS, LEST I COME AND SMITE THE LAND WITH A CURSE."
His aim is to spare people from being cursed. That's the Mercy we saw in VS. 5. But to spare people from being cursed, people must be changed. Specifically, it says their hearts must be changed.
• And even more specifically it says that the disposition of the heart toward fathers and children must be changed
Some take this verse to refer to the fathers, Abraham - Isaac - Jacob, so that the meaning is simply this — that the people will return to the faith of the fathers. But the problem with this is that it says Elijah will also turn the fathers' hearts toward the children.
• It would be unlikely that God would speak of Elijah changing the hearts of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob
• So, I take it in its simpler sense - ordinary living fathers and ordinary living children will have their hearts changed toward each other
What does it mean for a father to turn his heart toward his child? Well, what is the opposite of having a heart turned toward a child? The opposite is to have the heart turned away. Three examples --
• Fathers, you can have your heart turned away from your children simply by ignoring them
• By being so swallowed up in your work that all they get are the leftovers of your life
• You can have your heart turned away from your children by being abusive
It may be that without even hearing yourself your communication with them is a litany of disapproval and put-downs.
• Why? Because your heart is not toward them
• You don't feel what they feel
• Your heart is frozen in a posture of habitual unkindness
• Where, then, is the father's heart?
• It is curled around like a snake in love with its own tail and consuming itself on its own un-Godly passions
Or you can have your heart turned away from your children through an --
• Embittered spirit of disappointment
• That you are forgotten by them
• That they have let you down in the way they live
• Or that they have taken you for granted and never said thanks for all you did
• Where is the heart then?
• In the poisoned puddle of self-pity that threatens to grow into an ocean of resentment
Notice, it does not say that any father or child can turn the heart of the other.
• That is not your responsibility
• But your own heart is your responsibility
So, the word of God to fathers and mothers today is this -
• Turn your hearts to your children
• Don't give them the leftovers of your life
• Turn your hearts to your children
• Don't be unkind
• Don't constantly criticize
AND HE WILL TURN THE HEARTS OF FATHERS TO THEIR CHILDREN AND THE HEARTS OF CHILDREN TO THEIR FATHERS, LEST I COME AND SMITE THE LAND WITH A CURSE. Children, especially sons, identify themselves through their father. Many children are limited because their fathers have never spoken to their identity and defined them.
• When you identify your son as "my son," or "my precious son," or "my beloved son in whom I am well pleased," or "my son who brings unspeakable joy to my heart," you are putting your own signature of approval and value on them
• How have you defined your children?
• What do you call them?
• What adjectives do you use?
• How often do you affirm them?
• Their identity and how they see themselves is usually in proportion to the impartation of spoken blessing and love they receive from their fathers
As I hurry to a close as I am sure Father’s Day Dinners have been planned and dinners in Honor of Father’s that have made their transition to Glory. Can I conclude this message by unequivocally stating -
--Many fathers have little to no understanding of the vital and indispensable role they play in stamping their signature on their son's identity
--"This is My beloved Son" are words that mean far more than identifying the gender of your son or daughter
--There is an impartation of possession and belonging that is communicated through those words
--He or She is not just anybody's son or daughter
--He or She is your very own son or daughter —bone of your bone, and flesh of your flesh
--Your blood runs through their veins
--At a very young age sons and daughters adore their fathers
--They see him as a superhero, a faithful provider and a strong protector
--Through their impressionable young eyes, you are the image of God to them
--A very present help in time of trouble
--A savior who can rescue them out of any real or potential danger
--Jesus was the ultimate victim
--We were the ultimate abusers
--Our sin nailed him to the cross
--And Jesus has turned his heart toward you this morning
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--That is the meaning of this message
--Whether you look back and remember the law of God, or look forward and see the victory of God
--The point comes through - God has turned his heart toward you in Jesus Christ
--Don't push it away
--It is a sweet and wonderful thing to hold no grudges
--Fatherhood is a tremendous responsibility
