INTRODUCTION:
How important are a father’s words of wisdom? How valuable is a father's presence in the lives of his children? How necessary is a father's influence as compared to his income or him providing for his family?
How many of you remember the old song “Cat’s in the cradle”? The words go like this:
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talkin' 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, Dad
You know I'm gonna be like you"
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, "Thanks for the ball, Dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw", I said "Not today
I got a lot to do", he said, "That's ok"
And he walked away but his smile never dimmed
And said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home, Dad
I don't know when, but we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
And the story in the song goes on to tell about his son doing just that… growing up to be just like him never having time for family. Always busy. Always on the move. Never enjoying the moments given to him until they’re all gone, all spent, all wasted.
How important is a Father’s words? How valuable is a Father’s presence? How necessary is a Father’s influence… and his time with his children?
Today is Father’s Day! A day that for many is very difficult because of the broken relationships between them and their earthly fathers. For many it’s hard to face the fact… the reminder that dad is gone or no-longer in our lives. For those of you who do not experience this or who had a great relationship with your dad, I would tell you cherish every moment. Thank God for the blessing that you have in that relationship. Because there are many who wish to have what you have.
Dads are important. Dads are necessary.
Did you know that 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census). 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes. (Center for Disease Control) 80% of rapists come from fatherless homes. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26) 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. (National Principals Association Report) 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in a two-parent household with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. Daughters of single parents without a Father involved are 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 700% more likely to have children as teenagers, and 92% more likely to get divorced themselves. Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
The numbers are staggering: 24 million children live without their biological father in the home.1 24 million children – that's one out of every three children in the U.S. In the 1950s, the majority of children grew up with their married parents. Now, however, the majority grow up with either no parent, a single parent, cohabiting parents or remarried parents – or some shifting combination of these over the years.3 We've created a new norm of family instability, impermanence and fatherlessness. Fathers, your job is important. Your role is not only necessary, it is vital to the lives of those who depend upon you.
As much as we were never meant to live life without God (our Heavenly Father), none of us were meant to go through life… to face life without a Dad. It is a relationship that every child needs and (I might add) wants desperately.
BODY:
You may or may not know this, but Proverbs (as in the Book of Proverbs in our Bibles) is primarily sayings of wisdom from a father to his son. There’s other stuff in there as well. But many, many of the Proverbs are what a father wants to teach his son and to warn him about … the pitfalls and dangers of life. Here’s just a few.
Proverbs 4:1-4, 10-15, 20-27 New International Version (NIV) says…
1 Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
2 I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching.
3 For I too was a son to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother.
4 Then he taught me, and he said to me, “Take hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands, and you will live.”
Verse 10 Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many. 11 I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. 12 When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run, you will not stumble. 13 Hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life. 14 Do not set foot on the path of the wicked or walk in the way of evildoers. 15 Avoid it, do not travel on it; turn from it and go on your way.
Verse 20 My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words. 21 Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; 22 for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body. 23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. 24 Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. 25 Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you. 26 Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. 27 Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.
And there are many many more.
The dad who wonders how much of a teacher he needs to be ought to look at the wisdom handed down in these verses. The Bible shows us the important lessons to share with our children to prepare them for life. Thank God for Fathers who not only gave us life but taught us what to do with it. Thank God for Fathers who are involved in the lives of their children.
Because a child without a Dad is like a person in a foreign land without a guide to show them the way.
Two Things I would share with Dads today. Two things I want to encourage you to do.
Number one – Do not be afraid to discipline. Sometimes I think we dads want to be the fun parent, the good guy who lets you get away with stuff, the parent who’s more like a buddy than a Father-figure. So mom gets to be the bad guy who sets the rules, enforces them, and hands out punishment… consequences, discipline. I hate to say it, but Dads today are basically just another child for their wives to take care of. Just another responsibility for her, just another burden on her shoulders. And it shouldn’t be that way. Be a man. Be a Father.
Hebrews 12:7-11 New International Version (NIV)
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8 If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10 They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. 11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
You know what this passage assumes? That dads are doing their job, their job of raising their kids. “We have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we [what?] respected them for it.” This assumes that Fathers care more about helping their children with their lives than just being liked by them. Now this isn’t a warrant for dads to be abusive either. Because there are lots of dads who are harsh. There are a lot of dads who are unkind. There are a lot of dads who would rather curse at their children all kinds of filthy language to make a point than say five intelligent words to instruct them. Come on now.
We have a responsibility to be good examples to these little sponges that are taking in every word spoken and action modeled for them. So are we showing the way, or are we just letting them know we’re upset? Let me ask that again: Are we showing them the way to live and react to circumstances… are we correcting the behavior, or are we just expressing our frustration and teaching them nothing good? Nothing constructive. Nothing helpful.
Number two- Never… never… never forget that you represent for them another father – their Heavenly Father. The relationship that they can have with God. Every father is also a son. Did you ever think about that? Every father is also a son.
How’s your relationship with your Heavenly Father? Dads, how close are you to your Father who is in Heaven? Are you being trained by His discipline? Are you being shaped, led by His mighty hand? Because I guarantee you this: Your relationship or lack of will be passed down to your children. They will get to know their Father-in-heaven through you and how you choose to lead them… to the throne of grace or to the throne of judgment.
As I was preparing today’s message, I was thinking about “The Lord’s Prayer,” which begins “Our Father who is in heaven, hallowed by Your Name.”
Do you know what that word “hallowed” means? It’s kind of an old word that we don’t use much anymore. The word “hallowed” means sacred or holy… as in “the church is hallowed ground.” It means set apart for holy use… or set apart as something which is holy and sacred. To be respected and treated with reverence.
I wonder what would happen if we began to treat the title and position of father this way again.
Hallowed. Hallowed be your name. Meaning something to respect, to treat as a sacred duty, a special task or responsibility that is not to be taken lightly.
I wonder how many children might live well adjusted and blessed lives if we dads would take our role more seriously… that the very name Father is seen as holy, sacred, and revered.
I wonder how many children might come to know their heavenly Father if this were true, how many would not only stay in church but grow to become the leaders of the church for the next generation. I wonder how many of societies problems might be solved if dads would just step up and do what they are called to do. I wonder… don’t you.
Fathers you are so very important. You’re much more than a bread-winner. You’re much more than a provider. You’re much more than the guy who teaches us about sports and trucks and working hard, being tough. You are an example of how to live. Of how to be a conqueror, an over-comer, a warrior who stands his ground and fights for others and for what is right. You give us courage to be more than what we are and to never stop trying.
Your words and your influence is of infinite worth that can never be replaced.
Do Not Give Up Your Position as Father without a Fight… because we need You.
CONCLUSION:
Summary- I am going to read a quote to you first and then tell you who said it:
A small child waits with impatience the arrival home of a parent. She wishes to relate some sandbox experience. She is excited to share the thrill that she has known that day. The time comes; the parent arrives. Beaten down by the stresses of the workplace the parent often replies: “Not know, honey, I’m busy, go watch television.”
The most often spoken words in the American household today are the words: go watch television. If not now, when? Later. But later never comes for many and the parent fails to communicate at the very earliest of ages. We give her designer clothes and computer toys, but we do not give her what she wants the most, which is our time. Now, she is fifteen and has a glassy look in her eyes. Honey, do we need to sit down and talk? Too late. Love has passed by.
The person who wrote these words was Robert Keeshan, better known to America as Captain Kangaroo.
Invitation- Would you please stand?
