Father’s Day
June 16, 2019
Failures
Video compilation of fails . . . Youtube.
How do we define failure.
It seems that when we don’t succeed at something, we say we’ve failed. We didn’t win the championship, so we failed to win the championship. I didn’t get the job I wanted, I failed to get the job. I missed that shot, so I failed. I didn’t make millions of dollars, so I failed as a provider. That list could go on and on of our failures. I didn’t get the girl or boy, so I’m a failure.
We talk about the fact that we all fail. That failure is inevitable. So, one of the things I want to do as we talk about failure . . . is to redefine what failure means. It least what it means according to my definition. Because I believe it’s too easy to say, “I failed, therefore, I am a failure.” It’s too easy to make that jump from not getting something we wanted to suddenly pinning the failure tag on ourselves.
We’ve been talking about standing firm in our faith. Today is the last Sunday of this series. At times, we mess up. We sin, we do wrong, we make mistakes, we don’t do what we should do, in fact, Paul reminds us of that fact when he speaks personally about himself, saying - -
15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. – Romans 7:15, 19
Paul could label himself as having failed to do what he believed was right to do. Some might then label Paul as a failure. If we were Paul, we might have said, we’re failures. We can do the same when we don’t do what we believe we should be doing.
My struggle with the word failure and failed is that it’s too easy of a label to pin on ourselves. So, let me tell you my take on failure. Failure is inaction! Failure is not making an attempt to do what you believe you are supposed to do. If I try, then I have not failed. For example, if Alexandria doesn’t win the championship, some would say we failed. But I don’t believe we failed. We simply didn’t succeed as we hoped for. The fact that you competed and tried, and worked to attain that goal is not failure. Failure would have been quitting, failure would have been not making the attempt.
Even if you tried out for the team and you got cut . . . you didn’t fail. It’s easy to label yourself as a failure. But you didn’t fail!! You simply didn’t succeed in your pursuit to make the team. If you applied and interviewed and did the best you could, but didn’t the get the job, you didn’t fail, you didn’t succeed as you hoped for.
So, with that in mind, when we don’t succeed or even if we have failed, then we’ve opened ourselves up for an opportunity to have God work in our lives in a way which can change who we are. Remember, the point of this series is to have a faith which helps us to stand firm in all circumstances.
To do that, we’re going to look at a guy named Peter. He’s one of the most famous of the disciples of Jesus. He’s the one who ultimately became the leader of the early church. Yet, Peter messed up, and his story gives us a great example of someone who allowed God to work in his life after failing and not succeeding.
Peter was bold, brash and pretty confident about who he was. The night before Jesus was going to be crucified, the disciples were eating dinner with Jesus. It was the “Last Supper”, and during that Passover meal, Jesus looked at the guys in the room and said ‘someone was going to betray Him.’ We know it was Judas. But at that time, nobody else did.
In Luke 22, after the supper, Jesus looked at the disciples and said --
31 “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’
33 Peter answered Jesus, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.”
34 Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.”
35 Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. – Luke 22:31-35
So, that’s where Peter was at. He was brash. He said he wouldn’t deny Jesus. Not only that, but Peter said he was willing to die with Jesus. Then it got crazy - - Jesus was betrayed and arrested. Then Jesus was being questioned before the Jewish council and He was beaten and spit upon and Peter was in the courtyard able to see Jesus and Jesus was able to look out and see him.
While in the courtyard, Luke tells us —
56 Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.”
57 But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.”
58 And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.”
59 And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.”
60 But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.
61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him,
“Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.”
62 And he went out and wept bitterly. – Luke 22:56-62
What happened to that bold, brash, cocky guy? Peter blew it big time. On this one he failed. He didn’t even try. He totally denied Jesus. I can understand too. Peter was afraid for his life. If they could arrest and question Jesus, the one who they believed was their leader, mentor and Messiah, then they certainly could do that to Peter.
Here’s what Peter did! He left the area and he wept. The word in Greek tells us Peter wept violently! He didn’t just shed a few tears, he was heaving and sobbing at what he did to Jesus. He had denied and failed Jesus. He said he would be there and wasn’t.
One thing which helps us to stand firm in our faith is to admit our emotions. Sometimes that’s a tough one for men. I think we’re better at it, but it’s still a struggle. We grew up with the notion that real men don’t cry. Well, that’s not true. Because I believe real men, do cry. Real men can show emotion. Not just anger, but they can show tenderness, compassion, laughter, joy, sadness, grief and tears. It’s OK!!
That’s what Peter did. He wept! When Jesus was with his friends, Mary and Martha after Lazarus died, John tells us in chapter 11, that Jesus wept.
So, as we consider Peter, as we look at our emotions, they are a gift from God. Now, the key when we’re grieving or are saddened about an event in life, when we haven’t attained what we desired is that we can’t get stuck. We can’t stay stuck.
Paul reminds us in Philippians 3 –
13 But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,
14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:13-14
That’s a great help from Paul. We don’t really forget about what’s happened. But we can’t camp out on what we’ve lost or haven’t attained. In essence, Paul tells us, let go of what’s in the past. It happened, it’s over, learn from it, grow from it, be better because of it, ask for forgiveness - - - then strain forward. It means we stretch forward. We just don’t half-heartedly move forward, but we STRAIN / we STRETCH as far forward as we can. Like approaching the finish line of a race.
Often times after not succeeding, we end up going through a continuum of emotions. We move from shock to fear to anger to blame to shame to despair.
We can move through many of these, and for many men, we end up in shame. Nobody might put us there, we put ourselves there. We get stuck there, and it’s dangerous to get stuck there. It’s easy to blame others for what happens in our lives. It’s easy to remain angry or to reside in despair.
In order to not get stuck there, we need people who can encourage us. Not people who are going to put us down, have people in your lives who are Christ-centered, people who will listen, but will also encourage you.
We should also take ownership of our shortcomings and failures and times of not being successful. When we do that, we’ve moved from blaming and now we can find healing because we take these to Jesus.
It’s almost too obvious, but He understands what we’re going through. He’s there to help us, to strengthen and encourage us. Going to Jesus is healthy for our spirit. We may even need to ask Jesus for forgiveness because we didn’t do what we thought we should do. That’s why Jesus went to the cross. You don’t need to do this on your own. When you use the power through Jesus, you’re now better able to stand firm in what you’re going through.
You see, sometimes when we mess up, instead of turning to God, we turn away from God. It doesn’t matter what we’ve done. Sometimes we think, ‘well, I did it now, God doesn’t love me anymore. God is probably super angry, shaking His head at me, trying to disown me as His child.’
But that’s not true. Jesus came and died for you, He loves you, you’re His child and you are passionately and unconditionally loved. He wants you to come to Him so you can find healing.
Think about how crazy that thought process is. Why would God send Jesus into the world to forgive us, and then when we mess up, He would disown us. That’s the last thing on God’s mind and heart. He wants to bring healing and wholeness to you, not beat you up.
He wants you to call out to Him so that He can bring healing to your heart and spirit. He’s not going to disown you.
Think again about what Peter did. He bailed on Jesus when it would have been great to have a friend say, “YES! I’m with Jesus!!”
Yet, in John 21, after the resurrection, while the disciples were in a boat fishing -
7 John said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” When Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on his outer garment, and threw himself into the sea. – John 21:7
I love that image. Have you ever thought of throwing yourself into the water. John wants us to understand that when Peter heard it was Jesus, there was no stopping him. He threw himself, he immediately dove into the water to head towards Jesus. Have you ever thought of doing that in your relationship with Jesus? Throwing yourself at Him.
The point is, when you mess up, get to Jesus ASAP. Go as quickly as possible to Jesus. Confess your sin, confess your mistake, confess your feelings. We spoke it about it before . . . make your requests known to Jesus and He will give you His peace to guard your hearts and minds.
What issues are you going through? What is it that you are not succeeding in? Is there a failure? Is there something going on in your life, in which you’re beating yourself up about it? You can’t forgive yourself! You can’t move forward! You believe you don’t deserve to be forgiven or redeemed . . . so you move further from God, when in fact you should be drawing closer to God.
James 4 tells us - -
8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. – James 4:8
Draw yourself closer to God. Call on God and He will listen to your cries, and He will draw Himself closer to you and you will find healing.
Remember, Jesus tells us –
10 The thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly. – John 10:10
Remember, the thief is satan. And his job is to get you to believe you don’t deserve to have joy. You don’t deserve what’s good in life. You don’t deserve salvation. He wants you to believe you’re a total screw up, a sinner who’s unredeemable. He wants you to believe you’re a failure and what would God want with a messed up, sinful failure.
Well . . . Jesus wants that messed up, sinful failure. I don’t believe God sees us as failures. We are sinful . . . yes. We don’t do what we should do . . . yes. We do what we shouldn’t do . . . yes! But in God’s eyes we’re His kids, He created us in His image . . . so we have intrinsic worth, because God is worthy.
So, Jesus came to give us life. He came to give you more than life. He wants you to more than survive through the tough times. He wants you to thrive. He wants you to live the abundant life that only He offers. It’s there and it’s available, but you have to call out to Jesus for the healing, help, strength and power.
I want to look at one last story about Peter to show you where he didn’t fail, but simply didn’t succeed as he hoped for.
In Matthew 14, the disciples are crossing a lake and Matthew tells us –
25 And in the fourth watch of the night Jesus came to them, walking on the sea.
26 But when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, “It is a ghost!” and they cried out in fear.
27 But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.”
28 And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.”
29 He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.”
31 Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
You see Peter made the attempt. No other disciple ventured out of the boat! Peter did, he started to walk on water. Verse 29 literally tells us Peter began to walk on water. Then the wind picked up and Peter freaked out - - sank, and Jesus reached out and saved him. Some of us would say, “Man I failed! I tried to walk to Jesus, but my faith wasn’t strong enough. If only I had more faith. I failed!”
But that’s not true. Yes, Peter doubted. He didn’t have full faith and trust. But he tried. He just didn’t succeed the way he hoped for. For me that changes everything. It changes the perspective of what happened to Peter.
It should change the way we look at ourselves as well. When I try, I don’t fail. I simply didn’t succeed as much as I had hoped for.
When we get into those difficult situations in life, and the results aren’t what we really wanted. It doesn’t mean we failed. Because when we believe we’ve failed, we’ve now opened the door to satan to fill our hearts with the belief that we’re no good to God. What good God wants a failure like me on His team? We have pity parties and move further from God.
So, when we’re in those moments, how do we stand firm? We stand firm in our faith knowing, trusting and believing God loves me. I can’t say that enough!! He considers me His kid, and He’s going to give me more than I ask for. He’s offered me the ultimate gift - - His Son, Jesus. He offers me eternal life, he offers me His power, His grace and mercy, His love, His compassion, His strength.
It’s all there. And not only does God give us Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but we have one another to hold onto. So we can be people of great courage, because we have God and one another. So when the tough times hit us - - STAND FIRM.
