Frustration’s Shrapnel and Friendship’s Blessings
(Proverbs 27:14-17)
1. Life can be frustrating.
2.A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation,
aggravation, and frustration.
Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is
answered he asks, "Can I speak to Alf, please?"
"No! There's no one called Alf here." The person hangs up.
"That's irritation," says Dad.
He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Alf a
second time.
"No -- there's no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again I
shall telephone the police." End of conversation.
"That's aggravation."
"Then what's 'frustration'?" asks his son.
The father picks up the phone and dials a third time:
"Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?"
[source: www.thejokejukebox.com]
3. Different portions of God’s Word address different issues. Today’s portion in Proverbs addresses both the negative and positive, coping with frustration and pursuing friendship.
Main Idea: Wise people anticipate and adjust to the foolishness around them and seek out constructive, spiritual relationships .
I. Although It Is Frustrating, Much of Who We Are Resists Correction or Will NOT Change (14-16).
• Most of us realize we are our own worst enemies. We have a stubborn sin nature.
A. People DO change by spiritual growth, but not everyone comes to salvation – and even among we who have accepted Christ – some parts of us are stubborn.
I Corinthians 6:9-11, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
B. A wise person knows that not everyone is LIKE them in some ways.
1. In some ways, we are more alike than some people realize; in other ways, we differ more than some people realize.
2. We start with the assumption of similarity, but grasp it loosely.
C. Whether we are night or morning persons is pretty much GENETICALLY determined (14)
1. A clash is inevitable.
2. While one is cheerful, the other is grouchy.
3. Habit and discipline can mitigate but not change this condition.
D. Some people are just CONTENTIOUS by nature.
1. The example is a man who marries a nagging, argumentative woman.
2. The time to catch this is before marriage; you should never marry someone to change or rescue them.
3. Even contentious people tend to be subdued socially if they want friends, but at home they will let their hair down and show their true personality.
4. Our DNA can predispose us, but they do not predetermine us.
5. But, unless someone is really broken by their sin, things will not change; work around what we cannot change.
6. Think about this: through reasoning, logic, and even Scripture, Jesus could not change the minds of hearts of the unbelieving Pharisees who opposed Him (cf.22).
E. Christians can change: SANCTIFICATION is gradual process of becoming more Christlike.
Romans 8:29, “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.”
1. We should be more frustrated by ourselves than others. Remember: We leave others behind, but we have to take ourselves with us wherever we go.
2. Sanctification means becoming godlier within the boundaries of personality frame.
3. God wants you and I to be in the process of change toward conformity/obedience.
4. With God’s help, we can change ourselves; but we cannot change others.
Wise people anticipate and adjust to the foolishness around them and seek out constructive, spiritual relationships .
II. We Need Wise Friends to Challenge and SHARPEN Us (17)
A. The Kingdom of God is not a “me and God” thing, but a “WE” and God thing.
Hebrews 10:24-25, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Sadly, almost everyone want to have a friend, but not everyone wants to be a friend. Many people want others to reach out to them, but they are not willing to reach out to others.
B. Iron and iron suggests a RECIPROCAL relationship (haver, haverim).
1. The Jewish concept of Haverim.
2. I was blessed to have friends early in my Christian life: George, Norman, Victor.
3. Too many Christians are dependent upon church programs, cannot connect.
4. Jesus sent out disciples two by two; study partners.
5. We need solid teaching in our churches; but we also need relationships that will challenge us.
C. Sharpening suggests a sometimes STRESSFUL process.
1. A good friend (haver) will tell you what you need to hear; will keep you accountable.
2. A good friend will challenge you to expand your spiritual horizons.
3. We all want those kind of friends, but are we eager to be one?
D. The ideal is to seek a spiritually seasoned MENTOR, a FRIEND, and someone to DISCIPLE (mentor).
1. Paul was mentored by Barnabas, who then became a friend (Silas) and discipled Timothy. Jesus mentored 12 men whom He later called friends.
2. The kingdom of God is not just a man in the pulpit, but boots on the ground.
3. I am the church, you are the church, we are the church together.
4. All believers are citizens of the Kingdom of God and have a role within it.
5. Start praying: Lord, give me someone I can look up to, someone who can be a friend, and someone to develop.
Wise people anticipate and adjust to the foolishness around them and seek out constructive, spiritual relationships .
It is not enough to cope with frustrating people or to develop positive friendships; if we want to maximize our service for Jesus Christ, we must do both.
So, how well do you cope with frustrating people? Do you accept that they are part of life that must be worked around? And do have Bible-oriented friends with mutual ministry?
