“Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
Definition of this word...train...in the original Hebrew and Chaldee dictionary: “to narrow, to initiate, to discipline, to dedicate.
Let’s look at each of these words so that we can understand what Solomon meant when he said “train up a child.”
1. To Narrow.
Something that is smaller in width or not wide is considered to be narrow.
This word carries the meaning that there is a limited amount; there are margins and/or constraints.
So one of the meanings that Solomon had in mind when he used this word for what should be done with a child was to set some boundaries
- some limitations as to what they could do.
Our society has done this in some aspect.
For example, a child must be a certain age before they can “legally” consume alcohol.
They must be a certain age in order to get a driver’s license. Etc.
But our “narrowing” should go much further than this.
As parents, we should know what our children are doing.
We should know the friends they hang out with.
When they can have boyfriends and girlfriends
We should know what they listen to or what they watch on TV.
We should have limitations on what they can access on the internet.
We should know if they are doing things that are not lawful.
These are all part of “narrowing” their way.
- By taking away or limiting some freedoms until they can handle them we hopefully enable them to make better choices in life because they will be making these choices with better information.
When you think about this “narrowing”, consider what Jesus said: “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is small and the way narrow that leads to life, and there are few who find it.” Matthew 7:13-14.
What Jesus was talking about is eternal life.
He was stressing that the road leading to heaven is a narrow one – meaning that we cannot live any way we wish and expect to get there.
He also said in verse thirteen that the way leading to destruction (to hell) was wide, meaning that there are a whole lot of avenues that will lead to destruction. If this is true for eternal life, then it must also be true for our earthly life.
When prisoners are interviewed about their upbringing, Most say that they did not have boundaries growing up ...which led to them getting into trouble.
As parents, our primary job is to protect our children and to do this we must narrow what they can and cannot do until they are ready for the responsibility.
2. The next word in the Hebrew definition for train is initiate.
To initiate means to “to bring into practice; to teach the fundamentals of.”
Most parents understand that our job is to prepare our children to one day leave our homes. In order to accomplish this, we must initiate them to life.
The term to bring into practice means to bring something into being in such a way that it is more or less a lifestyle.
It becomes the only (or primary) way to do something.
For parents it means that we must shape the responses of our children as they are learning. For example, when our children are younger and they start playing out in the yard, what do we tell them?
We tell them not to go into the street.
We also instruct them that when they do go out into the street that they must look both ways before crossing the street.
This initiation into how to cross the street brings into practice what that child will do for the rest of their lives.
They will teach their children to do the same thing. This is what the word “initiate” means in this definition.
It also means to teach the fundamentals of. This is a daily activity of parents.
We teach our children the fundamentals of cleaning; cooking; driving a car; good study habits for school; hygiene; and the list goes on and on. To initiate means that we must bring our children into the ways of living in this world. The teaching starts young with simple instructions and intensifies as they get older.
Even when they get to this point, we must continue to teach them the fundamentals.
3. The third word in the Hebrew definition of “train” is discipline.
Discipline is not only corrective but preventative. When we discipline a child, it is not just to be corrective, but it should also be a means of helping the child to not choose that behaviour again.
Discipline has the ability to steer a person away from more powerful forms of evil and ultimate destruction. There are things that I will not do because of the “punishment” that could come from it.
Solomon gave this example of someone who did not listen to what they were taught. “…How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof! I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to my instructors! I was almost in utter ruin…..” (Prov. 5:12b–14a)
Here is something else that he says about discipline being both corrective and preventive: “Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.” (Prov. 22:13-14)
It is not meant to harm the child or become a form of abuse. It is meant to literally save the child from going to hell.
Correction/Discipline demonstrates love. In prison interviews many stated that they wished they had been punished as children for it would have kept them out of trouble, but more important it would have proven to them that their parents cared about them.
When discipline is carried out appropriately, the children understand that the root of the discipline is love. This is actually Scriptural. Solomon said in Proverbs 13:24 that “He who withholds his rod hates his son; but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Again, this is not permission to abuse children as some think of abuse, but it is to correct behaviour and hopefully prevent future bad behaviour.
Discipline purges children of foolishness. Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.” Of course children will be foolish as a part of being a child, but some foolishness must not be tolerated as the end result could be deadly for the child.
If we are going to train our children to walk with God, we must discipline them.
4. The final word in the Hebrew dictionary that gives an understanding to the word “train” is the word: dedicate.
To dedicate means to “set apart for …”
These parents today have chosen to set their child apart for God; they are giving their child to God.
This will not replace the child growing up and making their own decision to accept Christ, but it does mean that the parents will do everything within their power to see that what they do and place before their child are those things that will lead them towards accepting Christ at some point in their life.
Moses told the Children of Israel in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
As parents, our first responsibility is to be faithful to the Lord and walk upright before Him so that our children will see us as an example.
This is what Moses was commanding the Children of Israel.
This is the first step.
The second step is that we must teach our children about God and what He has done for us and what was accomplished through His Son Jesus Christ on our behalf.
We must equip them to handle what will come before them in the world. We must give the foundation from which to build upon as well as to be able to refute the false teaching of our society.
When we dedicate our children to God, we are coming into agreement with God that we will do whatever we can to ensure that our child is brought up to be strong, secure and knowledgeable of Him in the hope that one day they will accept Him.
When we dedicate our children to God, we come into agreement with God that we will keep Him before them through our actions.
