This morning I woke up as ‘Downer deni’, disgusted because I felt like I had to wait until I could get anything done! Waiting colored my entire mood dark grey! As I looked out the window, Columbus was covered in thick grey clouds - not a sun ray was to be found. My wrist, badly sprained in a stupid fall, was painful, partially because I knowingly and willingly didn’t care for it properly yesterday. Instead of icing and keeping it elevated as I am supposed to do, I tried to act like I hadn’t injured it. I am disgusted that I fell in the first place, and now am ‘waiting’ until it gets better so I can continue with my life at full speed.
I find I am also ‘waiting’ for Holy Week to be over. Although one of my favorite times in the liturgical year, Holy Week is an intense and emotional time for clergy. If we have been “doing church” for any period of time, we have to figure out a way to make the events of this week seem special and new to everyone’s soul – including our own. I have preached on Maundy Thursday the last five years – how do I make everyone feel in their hearts the significance of the events that are about to take place? We may not admit it openly, but most of us ‘wait’ for ‘Jammie Monday’ – the day after Easter Day when we can stay in our pajamas and drink coffee and not get off the couch. . . no meetings, no phone call, no commitments!
Most of all, I am ‘waiting’ for the swelling in my hand and wrist to go down so that I can take the restrictive brace off and return to my normal activities. I am angry with myself because I can’t type – I have to spend more time correcting the mistakes than it takes to type them. This Type-A person is not very pleasant to be around!
I look at my calendar for a time when I am not scheduled – aha, I find one! But, like every other day, something pops up which I need to take care of and can’t. So, I will just have to ‘wait’.
Waiting is a ‘downer’, and I am in a really grumpy mood!
But, then I open the balcony door and hear the birds chirping and see the Canada geese swimming on the Scioto River in families. I recall the jazz concert I attended yesterday that took my mind off my injured hand, and I remember how music makes everything better! I think of how peaceful it is when I walk the Scioto Mile early in the morning, and meditate on our beautiful world, and how much God must love us to have created this magnificent orb for us to share.
Then it hits me: I am wasting good time ‘waiting’ for things to happen. The world is never going to be smooth, without little bumps here and there. I cannot fix everything even when the ‘waiting’ is over. All I, and all of us, can do is be the best person we can be in each moment with each choice we make.
We hear in Matthew 6:25-27,
Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air: They do not sow or reap or gather into barns— and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
‘Waiting’ until “things get better” does not ensure ANYTHING will be better.
It is time for me to stop ‘waiting’ – roll up my sleeves, take care of my hand, and let my ‘waiting’ turn into action! We do not need to waste our time ‘waiting’ for things to change or improve. Life is meant to be lived in the moment, right now, warts and all! Let’s start living now and we will find those things that we would have missed if we had spent that time ‘waiting’.
‘Waiting’ for something to happen only means we miss out on the joy and miracle of what IS happening! There are gardens to be planted, sunrises and sunsets to be savored, songs to be sung, good times to be shared – to miss all that is the REAL ‘downer’ – let’s don’t waste another minute to ‘love and serve the Lord’!
Rev deniray mueller
