This is Us: Living Single
1 Corinthians 7
“ I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.”
1 Corinthians 7:8
How is it good to be single?
1. You may be called to a single life. 1 Corinthians 7:17-24
“Brothers and sisters, each person is to remain with God in the situation in which he was called.” v.24
2. You may have a more peaceable life. vv.25-28
“Such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.” v.28,
3. You may have greater impact for Christ. vv.29-31
“This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time is limited.” v.29
4. You may have more intimacy with Christ. vv.32-35
“I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.”
At Rush Creek, we are doing all we can with engaged couples to prepare for and experience a great and godly marriage. We have multiple ministries to help those who are already married to have a great and godly marriage. Marriages have been salvaged, rescued, and strengthened. We feel that responsibility deeply.
But we also feel a deep responsibility for those of us who are not married. About 35% of the demographic around our campus is made up of single adults and I think our campus reflects that same percentage.
Personally, I was single until I was 30 and when I went into career ministry, was the single adult pastor of about 1500 singles.
Single adults are such a big part of who we are as a church. They serve in our media ministry, worship ministry, children’s ministry, small group ministry, connections ministry, and compassion ministry. I am so thankful for the single men and women who are a part of Rush Creek.
Now, when I say single, I’m using the term in a traditional way. In today’s parlance, if you’re dating someone, you’re NOT single. I was talking with someone who is dating someone and mentioned that she was single and she informed me she was NOT single, she was in a serious relationship. So I was confused. I said, “But you’re not married, right?” She said, “No” Then I said, “Well, then you’re single.” “No, I’m not.” This went back and forth until I said, “What do you check on your income tax, married or single” She reluctantly relented…
In the series, This is Us, one of the triplets, Kevin (pic) is single. His two siblings are married and there are times he feels like a fifth wheel whenever he’s around them. That’s fairly common for singles: when everyone else is coupled up, they sometimes feel like an extra.
But if you’re a single here at Rush Creek, I want to affirm that you’re not a 5th wheel and you serve an important role here at Rush Creek. Single adults have been a part of God’s story throughout the Bible and are a part of our story here at Rush Creek.
In fact, the Bible affirms that it’s good to be single. 1 Corinthians 7:8 says, “ I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.”
The Apostle Paul affirms this fact: It is good to be single. How is it good to be single?
1. You may be called to a single life. 1 Corinthians 7:17-24
In these verses, Paul is making this one point summed up in v.24 “Brothers and sisters, each person is to remain with God in the situation in which he was called.”
Through various circumstances, it is clear that some people are called by God to be single. These circumstances can come in different forms. I’ve known people who have never been married and who really believed God called them to a life of celibacy. Later in this discourse, Paul makes that claim about himself. Others have come to that belief after a failed marriage. They feel called to live a godly single life for the foreseeable future. They leave the door open for marriage, but they feel called to live their lives now being content with and even rejoicing in their single status. I’ve also known more than one person who had same sex attractions and accepts God’s will for their lives that they can’t engage in homosexual behavior, so they’ve sworn to a life of celibacy.
All this to say: the single life can be a good thing because that’s where God has called you.
2. You may have a more peaceable life. vv.25-28
In these verses, Paul is making the point that, yes, it’s ok to be married, but as he says in v.28, “Such people will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you.”
When I was single, I often lived by myself. I never fought with myself. Never disagreed with myself. Stormed off from myself. It was a pretty peaceable life.
Even when I had a roommate or roommates, the level of difficulty never got close to that of my married life. When I say level of difficulty, you know what I mean right? You know in the sport of diving, they assign a level of difficulty to each dive. Some may have a 3.2 level, other dives a 4.4. I’m not saying that single living is not difficult. Sometimes there is profound loneliness. Sometimes there are deep wounds from previous relationships. And then of course, there is the single parent. You talk about a difficult life, raising children as one parent when it’s impossible enough with two parents.
But when it comes to the peaceable factor, the level of difficulty is not the same. If my single life with my roommates had a 2.0 level of difficulty, it would be like a jack knife (video). They might eat my stuff out of the refrigerator or they might leave dirty dishes in the sink or they might leave their underwear in the living room…so it wasn’t without difficulty, but the level of difficulty was not that severe.
But when I got married, the level of difficulty got exponentially higher. We argued over finances, sex, disciplining children, scheduling, inlaws, decorating, furniture placement…shall I go on? So the level of difficulty rose dramatically to this: (video of someone doing a triple backflip with two twists—very difficult) The only dive I could find that characterized the single parent was this one (1st 25 seconds of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mR2H5g4uxIE)
3. You may have greater impact for Christ. vv.29-31
In this passage Paul admonishes us to make the most of the time we have here on earth. As he is making his case for singleness, he says in v.29, This is what I mean, brothers and sisters: The time is limited.”
Every human being has the same amount of time. Married people have the same amount of time as single people. It’s what you do with your time. Paul’s argument is that if you have a spouse, much of your time will be invested in that relationship. If you have children, even more time invested in them. To be sure, investing in a spouse and in your children is kingdom work, but if you’re single your time can be invested in a broader sense.
Take the life of our Lord Jesus. Because He was not married, His entire days were spent teaching and preaching and healing. So many of our singles at Rush Creek are utilizing their time to make a greater impact for Christ.
4. You may have more intimacy with Christ. vv.32-35
Paul’s final comment about the matter focuses on v.35 “I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.”
Because the single may not have the distractions of a married person and may not have the family responsibilities of a married person, and may not have the frustrations and difficulties of a married person, they can place all their affections on Jesus. In a greater sense, He becomes their lover. He becomes their mate. He becomes their focus. They spend more time with Him and look to Him more to satisfy their souls. Some of the godliest people I’ve ever known were single adults. As Paul put it, they are “devoted to the Lord without distraction.”
Now to get a single perspective on these matters, I’ve invited some of my friends to talk about it. Would you please make welcome…..
Q1: Describe some of the positives of the single life?
Q2: Describe some of the struggles of the single life?
Q3: What would you say to other singles who might be struggling in their single life?
