This is us: Resilient Marriages Matt.19:3-6
Five irrefutable truths about marriage that make them resilient:
1. Marriage is God’s idea. v.4a
God’s purpose for your marriage: to show the world what His love is like
Resilient marriages recognize and accept God’s purpose & design for their marriage.
2. God’s design has always been gender specific v.4b
Resilient marriages discover the joy of their complementary roles
3. God’s priority is that the marriage be more important than all other relationships.” v.5a
Resilient marriages find the healthy balance in their relationships.
4. God’s picture of marriage is that the spouses are one. v.5b-6a
Marriage Math 1 + 1 = 1
Resilient marriages uncover and overcome issues that cause disunity
5. God’s intention is that marriage be for a lifetime. v.6b
Resilient marriages weather the storms
Introduce couples…set up topic
Five irrefutable truths about marriage that make them resilient:
1. Marriage is God’s idea. v.4a (on screen)
Jesus quoting Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in His own image;
He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female.” From the beginning of Holy Writ, God takes credit for this thing called marriage.
Not something humans created; not our idea—God’s idea.
Steve Jobs/iPhone: he and software engineers decide it’s purpose and function.
Since He is the creator, He gets to decide what it is & how it is to function.
Stop thinking you can decide for yourself what makes for a good marriage.
God’s purpose for your marriage: to show the world what His love is like
The N.T. fills this out when it says in Eph. 5 that marriage is likened to the union of Christ and the church, His bride. Does your marriage reflect the love and respect the God intends for Christ and the church?
Resilient marriages recognize and accept God’s purpose & design for their marriage.
Q: How has your marriage been consistent with God’s purpose?
2. God’s design has always been gender specific v.4b (on screen)
Again, Jesus is quoting the Genesis passage I’ve already mentioned. He also eludes to Genesis 2:18 “ Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.” If you’re familiar with the Creation account: good, good, no good, VERY good.
A lot of cultural talk that marriage can be between to same sex partners. Legally that’s true in most states. So culturally, it’s ok. Legally it’s ok. But it’s not ok in God’s eyes. The Bible never defines marriage in any other way than between a man and a woman. Everytime Jesus had a chance to affirm that, He did, as in this case we’re studying.
When Jesus quoted Genesis 2:18, He mentioned that they were to be complementary to each other. Compl-e-mentary, not compl-i-mentary. Doesn’t mean you can’t compliment your spouse…it just means that marriage at its core is complementary
Complementary: combining in such a way as to enhance or emphasize the qualities of each other or another.
The primary role God gives the husband is to be the spiritual leader. Doesn’t mean the wife can’t lead in spiritual things; it just means that ultimately the spiritual healthy of the marriage is the responsibility of the husband. The primary role God gives the wife is to be an encourager; to come alongside the husband and strengthen him. The picture I want you to get out of this is that of a couple on the dance floor (pic). Only one can be the leader, right? But it takes both of them to dance well.
Resilient marriages discover the joy of their complementary roles
Q: There are other, lesser roles in the marriage. How have you decided to divide up the roles and has there been conflict and resolution in any of those?
3. God’s priority is that the marriage be more important than all other relationships.” v.5a (on screen)
Leave and cleave; cling only to each other. Can’t tell you how many marriages I’ve seen struggle, and some of them even dissolve, because one or both of the partners can’t quite get that straight. Once you are married, THE most important earthly relationship is with your spouse. Yes, still honor your parents—that’s the 1st commandment with a promise. But Jesus said “Leave and cleave; cling only to each other.”
Resilient marriages find the healthy balance in their relationships.
Q: Have any of you struggled with this principle in your marriage either with a parent or child or friend?
4. God’s picture of marriage is that the spouses are one. v.5b-6ª (on screen)
This whole truth is wrapped around the phrase, “one flesh”. What does that mean? It’s the idea of being one unit. Sexually your are to one with each other and no one else. Emotionally, you are united. Financially your are united. Legally you are united. In God’s eyes you are united; one flesh; one unit.
Marriage Math 1 + 1 = 1
Pair of scissors:
Reslilient marriages uncover and overcome issues that cause disunity
Q: What are some areas that you have struggled or are struggling to be unified on?
5. God’s intention is that marriage be for a lifetime. v.6b (on screen)
Now I know I’m talking to a whole bunch of folks who have suffered through divorce. Everyone I’ve talked to who has been thru a failed marriage talks about the pain then and the pain that many still go through. I remember when I first became a singles pastor back in 1984, a divorcee in my ministry said, “Russ, I’m sure a widow or widower has a tremendous amount of pain and grief—but at least the spouse is dead. In a divorce, they never die!”
Many of you have found the forgiveness and grace that God extends to us when we fall short of His perfect will. And some of you have been blessed to find another spouse that you are able to pursue God’s purpose with in your marriage.
But make no mistake. Malachi says that God hates divorce; not divorcees, but divorce. Why? Because it’s a violation of the very purpose of marriage and because it causes so much damage—not just on the couple, but on the children as well.
Resilient marriages weather the storms
Q: What storms have you experienced in your marriage and what have you learned?
Have couples in congregation stand and redo vows.
