TELL THE TRUTH—Exodus 20:16, Exodus 23:1-2
***In Boston, a minister noticed a group of boys standing around a small stray dog. “What are you doing, boys? “Telling lies,” said one of the boys. “The one who tells the biggest lie gets the dog.” “Well, when I was your age,” the shocked minister said, “I never thought of telling a lie.” The boys looked at each other, crestfallen. Finally, one of them shrugged and said, “I guess he wins the dog.”**
What exactly is a lie? Was telling that story just now a lie? I’ve got another one. ***Yesterday I was buying two bags of dog food at Petco, and a lady behind me asked whether I had a dog. What did she think I had—an elephant? Since I wasn’t busy, I told her no, I didn’t have a dog, but I was starting back in on the Purina Diet, although I shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital the last time I tried it. On the bright side, I lost 30 pounds. I told her it was a perfect diet: It is nutritionally balanced, so you just load your pockets with Dog Chow, and eat one or two nuggets whenever you get hungry. She asked why I ended up in the hospital. Was it because dog food is not meant for humans? I told her, “No, I stopped in the middle of the parking lot to scratch my fleas, and a car hit me.” Petco won’t let me shop there anymore.**
Of course, those stories are not lies, because I am not intending to mislead you. (You do know the stories are not true, don’t you?) Lying involves intention. A statement that is technically true but misleading might be a lie. False impressions that are not corrected might be lies. Half-truths that distort the whole truth are lies.
What is the big deal about lying? God says not to—and there is a hint to WHY lying is wrong in the ninth commandment: “Do not give false testimony AGAINST YOUR NEIGHBOR.”
WHAT IS THE HARM IN LYING?
-LYING HARMS SOCIETY. Exodus 23:1-2 applies this commandment to the legal system: “Do not spread false reports. Do not help a guilty person by being a malicious witness. Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you give testimony in a lawsuit, do not pervert justice by siding with the crowd.”
Lying is pervasive in politics, influencing policies. Much of popular culture is based on lies, about beauty, morality, fame, or happiness. Even the economy is affected by lying: Dishonest business practices, exaggerating income, or misrepresenting risk undermine a healthy economy.
Lying weakens communities, in the workplace, schools, and even church. False rumors, jumping to conclusions, hidden motives, and dancing around the truth lead to distrust and discord.
Lying harms families. When children lie, they cannot be trusted. When parents lie, children are insecure. When spouses lie, marriage suffer and home become unstable.
-LYING HARMS INDIVIDUALS (“against your neighbor”).
It is a powerful weapon against people we despise.
In Psalm 31:10-18, David says, “My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning; my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak. Because of all my enemies, I am the utter contempt of my neighbors…For I hear the slander of many…Let me not be put to shame, O LORD, for I have cried out to you; but let the wicked be put to shame and lie silent in the grave. Let THEIR LYING LIPS be silenced, for with pride and contempt they speak arrogantly against the righteous.”
Rumor and innuendo, half-truths, or spinning the truth in a way that makes others look bad—those can destroy. Why might we do this? Maybe we feel they deserve to be hurt, and this is payback. Maybe we don’t like them, or even consider them as our enemies. However, Jesus said, “Love your enemies and do good…”
Lying harms enemies, but lying can also harm friends! People talk about a “white lie,” and convince themselves that sometimes lying is the loving thing to do. But let’s be honest: Most “white lies” are cowardly or lazy. We lie because we don’t want to make the effort or investment to deal with the truth in a loving way. If we really said, “Yes, I was hurt,” or “No, I don’t like your meatloaf recipe,” we would have to deal with the repercussions of the truth.
If we avoid truth, everyone loses. Our friend doesn’t get helpful feedback. As Proverbs 26:28 says, “A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.”
Maybe our friend doesn’t really want a direct answer, and we can be sensitive to that. (If a wife says, “Does this make me look fat?” one might wonder why she sets him up like that.) Yet lies told in the name of sensitivity may cause truth to be doubted and devalued.
***A story is told about a man who received a call from his wife, just as she was about to fly home from Europe. “How’s my cat?” she asked. “Dead,” he said. His wife was apoplectic: “Why didn’t you break the news to me slowly? You could have told me he was on the roof. Then, when I called from Paris, you could have told me he was acting sluggish. Then when I called from London, you could have said he was sick, and when I called from New York, you could have said he was at the vet. When I arrived home, you could tell me he was dead.” The husband was apologetic, and promised to do better next time. Then she asked him, “By the way, how is Mom doing?” There was a long silence, and then he said, “Uh, she’s on the roof.”**
A true friend or a true love tells the truth, even when it is hard. Not cruel truth or cold, uncaring truth, but loving truth. That is especially true when the friend needs correction. Proverbs 27:5-6 puts it this way, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
A famous line from a movie is, “You can’t handle the truth.” If we want truth, we must welcome truth. If you are fortunate enough to have a friend or spouse who tells you the truth in love, treasure that friendship. Their hard truth demonstrates their love, and how much they care about you.
Lying harms other people (“our neighbor”), but it harms someone else:
-LYING HARMS US.
Lying harms our integrity, the essence of who we are. You can’t lie without being a liar.
Lying is a gateway to other sins; it destroys our defenses against moral ruin. Proverbs 11:3 puts it like this: “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”
I have never known an addict, whether to alcohol or drugs or gambling, whose addiction did not involve lying to themselves. Lying is a contributing factor to most adulterous affairs, overspending, or obsessions with screen habits. Most people who are bitter, abusive, or selfish refuse to face the truth that they have a problem.
If we lose track of the truth, our lives spin out of control, even to the point of destroying us spiritually. That is why it says in Revelation 21:8, “The cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and ALL LIARS—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.”
No one goes to hell intentionally! People go to hell believing the devil’s lies, and rebelling against God.
HOW CAN WE STOP LYING?
-DIAGNOSE THE PROBLEM.
You don’t lie, do you?
In 2002, researchers at the University of Massachusetts videotaped people having a 10-minute conversation. They found that 60% of people could not converse for 10 minutes without lying! Many of those did not think they lied, until they reviewed the tapes of themselves. Most of the lies were small things, to make then look better or more likable. No big deal—or is it?
It is easy for us to rationalize our lies. “Most people lie; it’s just part of conversation.” “I didn’t exactly lie; I just didn’t tell the whole story.” “The truth would not have worked for me.” “I’m not really hurting anybody when I stretch the truth a little.”
-CONFRONT THE DEVIL’S LIES.
Lies are from the devil himself! The fall of humanity began with a lie from the devil, “You will be like God, know good and evil.” Jesus said of the devil, “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” (John 8:44)
We need to confront the devil’s lies about lying!
The devil says, “It is easier to lie.” Not true! Lying might be easier in the moment, but a life built on lies is like a house of cards, needing constant attention. As one pithy statement puts it, “Always tell the truth, and you won’t have to remember anything.” (Ironically, the quote is falsely attributed to Mark Twain, with doubtful proof that he said it!) If you don’t lie, you won’t have to work so hard to keep your story straight or shade the truth.
The devil says, “Lying is the loving way to handle awkward situations.” Not true! Lying is the coward’s way of handling relationships. If you really care about someone, you will make the effort to tell the truth in a loving and helpful way.
The devil says, “Lying is a good way to avoid negative consequences.” Not true! If a lie is revealed, it leads to greater anger, punishment, or alienation. (Maybe you learned that lesson from your mother.) Even if the lie remains hidden, there is the continuing fear of the lie being exposed, unresolved guilt, and defensive maneuvers that might be necessary to support the lie.
The devil says, “Lying is no big deal. People do it all the time.” Partly true; most people lie. Yet the fact that many people lie is no justification for doing it. Jesus said in Matthew 7:13, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.”
Lies are from the devil; God stands for truth. Ephesians 5:8-11 says it this way, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”
Whom do you trust: God or the devil?
-SEEK GOD’S HELP.
So there you are—caught in a sticky situation. You have half a second to choose between a lie and the truth. What will come out of your mouth? Jesus said, “The things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart…For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.) (Matthew 15:18-19)
To be more truthful, we need to change the inclination and habits of our heart mind. Paul says in Colossians 3:9-10, “DO NOT LIE to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
Lying and falsehood can be a habit of the old self, and it hard for the old self to overcome it. We need God to change the old self into a new self—as self that loves the truth, and defaults to truth more than lies. Thankfully, God does that for those who put their trust in Jesus Christ: As Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, “If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
The journey toward truth is a spiritual journey.
We confess our sin to God, honestly, truthfully, with no excuses. We repent of our sin of untruth, and our sins of lying. Perhaps we need to correct some of the untruths we have told. We also establish new ways of dealing with sticky situations, to deal with them in truthful ways.
Most importantly, we ask God to transform our hearts and minds, so that we love the truth. David said in Psalm 51:10-12 “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” The Holy Spirit is able to transform us into people whose default mode is truth.
(Preacher: This would be a good time to lead your people in a prayer of confession, and reflection on how they deal with life. Pray for the Spirit to move among them!)
