II Samuel 14:25-27 & II Samuel 18:33
Absalom, the 3rd son of King David was a handsome young man. He was exquisitely good looking in the entire land of Israel (II Samuel 14:25). This young man had everything that he could ask for along with his charming looks which includes name, fame, wealth, influence and much more. The above two chapters capture the beginning and the end of the life of Absalom and it makes a strange and interesting study to understand how a good looking, rich young man, likely heir to the throne life was cut short abruptly and tragically.
Though Absalom had beautiful features, his heart was exceedingly wicked. Like a wild horse that was let loose, he had no control over his anger, hatred, and ambition. The following few incidents in his life explain his character and David’s reaction in all these give us few important lessons for us:
Tamar, Absalom’s sister was very beautiful and Amnon, his half-brother (David’s first son) violated the dignity of Tamar. For nearly two years, Absalom harbored hatred in his heart and made schemes to murder Amnon and finally killed him during a feast. Though his anger was justified, he should have let God handled the issue rather than taking the matters. By doing so, he out rightly violated the 6th commandment of God which was ‘Thou shalt not kill’.
Fearing the consequences of his actions, he fled to Geshur. Without remorse for his actions, he began to conspire against his father. Later when he returned back to Jerusalem, he willfully chose to stay away from his father whose heart yearned to see him. On the contrary, using his charm, deceitful actions and influence, he won the favor of men who came to the city to settle disputes. With Ambition running high in his head, he declared himself as a king, raised a revolt at Hebron and conspired to kill his father. A violation of the 5th commandment – Thou shalt honor your father and mother.
II Samuel 14:28, II Samuel 13:38 and II Samuel 14:1 record the period that Absalom was away from his father and Palace. With the years, the distance grew without a trace of repentance or reconciliation.
Absalom had a beautiful face but his actions were always ugly causing heartache to all. (II Samuel 13:36) King David was always sorrowful because of Absalom. The death of Amnon, the rebellion to capture the kingdom, the deception to divide the kingdom, the conspiracy to kill him and finally his death. There is no record in the Bible that David was happy because of Absalom but many instances where he cried for him. (II Samuel 18:33)
KING DAVID’S ACTIONS AND IN ACTIONS
In all this, David still loved Absalom. Even after five years of separation, it was David who reached out Absalom, embraced and kissed him. This gesture of David explains the heart of the Father which longs for the home-coming of the erring son. Reconciliation, grace, and forgiveness superseded punishment, justice, and judgment.
He was not perturbed when Shimei, the son of Gera the Benjamite hurled accusations against him (II Samuel 16:10-11). He restrained Joab, the commander to spare his life and accepted the fact that the humiliation brought by his son was more painful than the accusations of a stranger.
When everything in David’s life and situations around was good and restful, David committed a grievous offense with the wife of Uriah and broke three commandments in a row. (II Samuel 12:10-12). Though he was forgiven, there was a little escape from its consequences. He lost Amnon, Absalom, and the first son through Bathsheba. Undoubtedly, a great ruler, a man after God’s heart was a failed father. There was little that he could instruct his children on moral behavior for the fear of being questioned. David was angry and pained over Amnon’s misbehavior and Absalom’s wickedness but there is no record that he corrected them.
LESSONS FOR US
We serve a God who loves us unconditionally and immeasurably. When we don’t seek his face through prayer or explore His word through the scriptures or lead an immoral life, we grieve God. When we remain distant, we fail to understand his love and goodness. All that it requires from our end to restore our relationship with Him, is a heart of repentance. If we are like Absalom, independent and indifferent to our Heavenly Father, it is good to cross check our lives in the light of His word.
When we reject His love, we grieve His heart. A truth to remember is that while we were still sinners, it was Jesus who reached out to us. By being insensitive to this fact, we cause more hurt and grieve the Holy Spirit. As members in the body of Christ, we must cross check if our actions, words or attitude is hurting the family, church, society, and God.
The wounds inflicted by the loved one are more painful than the accusations of strangers. David with all humility did not retaliate to Shimei’s sharp statements but had the heart to love even his enemies. He let God deal with Shimei and in the later chapters, we read that Shimei was a changed man. Even when Absalom acted like an enemy to David, he embraced and kissed him. (II Samuel 14:33) Like David, in times of crisis, we must learn to forgive the ones who wronged us rather than retaliate or allow bitterness take control of our lives.
(Exodus 20:12), it is the only commandment accompanied with a blessing. Dishonoring parents or our heavenly father will most certainly incur God’s severe punishment. We must honor our earthly parents.
David’s household witnessed murder, adultery, and untimely deaths. This highlights the truth that discipline and fear of God are the pre-requisites in bringing up children. A mismatch in our words and deeds can have a lasting impact on our children. It is at the feet of Jesus that we can learn to build our families. He gives us the wisdom to raise a godly generation. It is important to love and rebuke the child. It is only an upright life that gives us the authority to correct our children. Caution to Christian parents is that discipline beings at home. (Acts 1:8)
It beings with prayer, followed by honesty in actions and love for God’ work. If these are followed with diligence then like David, we don’t have to enquire with everyone, if our young men and women are safe. (II Samuel 18:29) or instruct others to deal gently (II Samuel 18:5)
CONCLUSION
(Ezekiel 33:11) God’s love is unfathomable. As much as He hates the sin, He loves the sinner. He is pained when the ungodly dies before his time and rejoices with the heavenly hosts when a sinner repents. David grieved for Absalom because he could not save him. He wished he could take his place but he did not have the authority to die on his son’s behalf.
Down through few centuries, Jesus, the son of David, the fairest of ten thousand obeyed the will of the Father and died for all. Absalom and Jesus the sons of David had contrasting lives.
To the end, all that we read about Absalom was David’s wailing ‘O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom!’ (II Samuel 18:33) contrary to the Heavenly father’s rejoicing statement – ‘This is my beloved son in whom I’m well pleased. (Matthew 17:5)
May God give us the strength and wisdom to live like Jesus!
God Bless!
In His love,
Timothy
