JAIL BREAK (Breaking the Chains of Unforgiveness) - Sharp Disagreements
October 21, 2018
Acts 15:36-41 (p. 771)
Introduction:
Barnabas is one of my favorite people in the New Testament. He is an encourager…In fact that’s what his name means…“Son of Encouragement.”
After Paul’s conversion on the road to Damascus most of the other believers were doubtful of its sincerity…They remembered the arrest and threats…They remembered Stephen’s stoning as “Saul” held their coats giving full approval while it happened.
After his conversion Paul began to share boldly and publicly his faith in Jesus…and those who had sent him to arrest Christians now began to plot to kill him…during this time he had very few friends among believers…if any…and the Jewish hierarchy now hated him. He was in a very lonely place.
He has a few believers that help him escape this plot by lowering him over a wall in a basket by the cover of darkness…but listen to what happens when he comes to Jerusalem:
ACTS 9:26-28 (p. 765)
How powerful are those words in this situation, “But Barnabas took him and brought him…” Barnabas says, “I stand with him…so should you.”
This same encourager who has sold his property so others could be helped, now stands with a convicted murderer…and says, “He preaches fearlessly in the name of Jesus.”
[Most of you know my story…after years of using drugs and selling drugs I dropped out of High School. 3 months before my 18th birthday I surrendered my life to Christ…(If you want all the gory details I have a CD called “The Fire that Burns Away the Clutter” up at the info. desk). Through the intervention of a man names Thermus Reynolds and others I was allowed to go back to Lafayette to finish up…I had never killed anyone, but I promise you I was in “no man’s” land…Those who knew me before hated me for rejecting that lifestyle…and those who were part of the good crowd knew my reputation…and they didn’t trust me for a second or want anything to do with me…except for 2 teachers…and the editor of the yearbook…a girl named Becky who brought me to a Bible Study at a weird guy’s apartment…His name was Brewster…not only did they save my life…they brought me through a transition from my old life to my new life…by the way I was sharing Jesus with everyone who asked “What happened to you!” Even now I look back at God’s grace and these encouragers as the greatest gift in my spiritual journey.]
I am certain Paul felt those same feelings toward Ananias, who shared the gospel with him and for Barnabas who encouraged and protected him!
Eventually Paul and Barnabas became a missionary team…sent out from the church of Antioch to preach the gospel…“And set apart for this work God had called them to do.”
On one of their early trips they take a young man with them named John…but everyone called him “Mark.” And something happened to “Mark”…he got homesick, scared, or discouraged and he leaves Barnabas and Paul and goes back home…after Paul and Barnabas get home it says…
Paul comes to Barnabas and says, “Let’s go back and visit the brothers and sisters in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord.”
And Barnabas says, “OK. Let me get John Mark to go with us.” And Paul says, “NO WAY!!!! He deserted us!!!”
Paul and Barnabas have such a bitter (sharp) disagreement about this, they part company.
Here’s an important truth…
I. GODLY PEOPLE CAN HAVE SHARP DISAGREEMENTS
Sharp means it cuts you…cuts you deeply…Paul has been cut by John Mark’s desertion…Barnabas is a second chance person, and he’s cut by Paul’s refusal to do so…
Understand the greatest hurts do not come from acquaintances and strangers…the greatest hurts come from those who are close…those we’ve let in…people we’ve opened our hearts to…those we’ve made ourselves vulnerable to.
Cosimo de Medici said, “We read that we ought to forgive our enemies, but we do not read that we ought to forgive our friends.” In practice it may be a lot easier to forgive our enemies than it is to forgive our friends. We don’t expect much from our enemies. We expect a lot from our friends. When they disappoint us, or betray us, we find it very hard to forgive them.
Do you think Judas’ kiss and Peter’s denials hurt Jesus worse than the Pharisee’s hateful words? Yeah? Me too.
Paul and Barnabas had invested themselves in John Mark’s life…I’m sure both had been disappointed in his desertion…it’s a big enough issue it’s the center of a big argument between two godly men.
But the question still remains…
II. HOW CAN GODLY RELATIONSHIPS SURVIVE A DISAGREEMENT?
I’ve discovered about ministry and the church, not everyone thinks, acts and speaks like me. My priorities might not be your priorities. Some of the important things I focus on might not even be in your peripheral vision.
I’m sure Barnabas had the priority of “restoring John Mark.”
And Paul’s priority was “visiting the brothers and sister in all the towns they’d preached.” Both biblical priorities…but not necessarily ones that aligned.
I’m not sure what temperament both of these godly men had…but Barnabas focuses on encouraging…and Paul writes: “One thing I do, forgetting what is behind I press on toward that which is ahead.” (Phil. 3:13)
Paul’s focused on 1 task…Barnabas sells his stuff for others…He pulls for the underdog (including Paul at one time).
They disagree on which is the priority…it’s so sharp it causes them to part company…Barnabas heads out with John Mark…Paul heads out with Silas.
Folks when you put passionate and compassionate people together there will be disagreements…even if it involves the greatest missionary that’s ever lived and one of the most encouraging men that’s ever lived.
This wasn’t an argument over biblical doctrine…it was an argument over personalities…and even though God brought good from it…two teams powerfully sharing the gospel instead of one. This grudge needed to be healed…this relationship needed to be restored…forgiveness was necessary to break them out of these chains.
All too often we think…“Well, we’ll just part ways.” I’ll deal with my priorities…you deal with yours.”
We are experiencing the greatest time of departures in the American Church in its history…people leaving at an astounding rate because of sharp disagreements…most over personalities and preferences…not biblical doctrine (although for denominations that have forsaken Biblical truth, this is true as well).
If I leave I won’t have to deal with those people anymore…Ironically people we’ve loved and been loved by…people we’ve ministered to and been vulnerable with.
The problem is, unless its because of false teaching, wrong doctrine, eventually you meet people at the new place you’ll have a disagreement with…or you just leave the church entirely and fill your weekends with other stuff.
Jesus taught us what to do when we have a sharp disagreement with a Christian brother or sister, remember?
MATTHEW 5:21-24 (p. 678)
Unresolved forgiveness not only destroys relationships, it becomes a “root of bitterness” that dramatically changes the one who will not seek reconciliation. Is it easy…nope! Does it take some time and tenderness…yes! Does it require the supernatural ability of the Holy Spirit’s love and peace…without a doubt!
On February 9, 1960, Adolph Coors III was kidnapped and held for ransom. Seven months later his body was found on a remote hillside. He had been shot to death. Adolph Coors IV, then fifteen years old, lost not only his father but his best friend. For years young Coors hated Joseph Corbett, the man who was sentenced to life for the slaying.
Then in 1975 Ad Coors became a Christian. While he divested himself of his interest in the family beer business, he could not divest himself of the hatred that consumed him. Resentment seethed within him and blighted his growth in faith. He prayed to God for help because he realized how his hatred for Corbett was alienating him from God and other persons. The day came, however, when claiming the Spirit’s presence, Ad Coors visited the maximum security unit of Colorado’s Canon City penitentiary and tried to talk with Corbett. Corbett refused to see him. Coors left a Bible inscribed with this message: I’m here to see you today and I’m sorry that we could not meet. As a Christian I am summoned by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, to forgive. I do forgive you, and I ask you to forgive me for the hatred I’ve held in my heart for you.” Later Coors confessed, “I have a love for that man that only Jesus Christ could have put in my heart.”
Forgiveness is always an act of faith…it’s almost never an act of feeling…our stubborn sinful nature shouts: “No way I’m going to take the first step…no way I’m going to humble myself.”
Faith says, “Apart form my hurt feelings I will seek restoration and reconciliation… “I will be tenderhearted and forgiving, just as God for Christ’s sake forgave me.” (Eph. 4:32)
And God rewards that faith…even if it’s not reciprocated…the soul that does that is set free.
We don’t know what happened completely between Barnabas and Paul…both continued to do the work they’d been set apart to do…but we do read later about Paul and John Mark.
At the end of Paul’s life he writes to Timothy, another young man he’s invested in and he says,
“For I am already being poured out like a drink offering and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” (2 Tim. 4:6-7)
And then he writes:
“Come to me quickly.” (you can feel the urgency in his words) “Demas, because he loved this world has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia and Titus to Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me…GET MARK and bring him with you, because he is useful to me in my ministry.” (2 Tim. 4:9-11)
“Get John Mark…bring him with you.” At the end of his life…He wants John Mark there with him.
[At the end of my dad’s life he made sure my mom’s finances were in order…He transferred everything into her name…cancelled all his credit cards. That last Christmas he sat on the couch with each of his grandkids talking about life and what was important. He asked me to preach his funeral and for Barby to sing…the cancer was winning. He’d be gone by March 2…but his Spirit was looking forward to eternity…
(Tell story about trying to buy the ruby ring for their Dec. 15 anniversary)
At the end of Paul’s life…the things that had caused sharp disagreements in the past didn’t matter anymore…His ministry did…eternity did…people he loved did.
