Kindness matters
Matt 25: 34-40
Pope Francis shouldn’t be extraordinary. This is the headline from the Washington post, 2013. Quote, “Pope Francis shouldn’t be extraordinary. But in a world desperate for compassion, kindness and inspiration, he is.
The article continues,
It is a sad state of affairs to find Pope Francis on the cover of Time as the magazine’s Person of the Year.
Across the land, people are gaga for this man who is a champion of the poor, who preaches compassion and tolerance, who holds and kisses a disfigured man and washes the dirty feet of female prisoners.
Seriously?
Are we so beaten down by the greed, corruption, deviance and narcissism in our culture that we’re going to name a holy man Person of the Year for acting like a holy man?
We must be absolutely starved for inspiration when we celebrate this man for the simple, humble act of doing his job. In fact, that’s exactly what we are. Desperate for the mercy, kindness and forgiveness personified by Pope Francis.” Unquote.
I first want to say thank God there is at least one world famous Christian best known for his mercy, kindness, and forgiveness. We could use a few more protestant examples. Why do people find it so extraordinary, amazing, even surprising for the pope to be kind? How important is it for an identified holy person to be kind? How about those of us who identify ourselves as followers of Jesus?
It turns out, kindness is very important to Jesus. Today, I am going to give you three ways you can be kinder today. You may want to take your notes page out and be ready to write these down. Turn to the person next to you and say, he’s talking to you. I’m going to give you those three ways in the last two minutes of my time. First, listen to a very interest message from Jesus in the book of Matthew.
Matt 25: 31-40
31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. 35 Because…
Stop there. You tell me what criteria Jesus uses to separate those who are blessed from those who are not. What separates those who inherit the kingdom of God from those who don’t inherit it?
For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’
37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
Now, I know there are other verses for us to take into consideration. Jesus says things like, I am the way the truth and the life, no one comes to the father but by me. So, no one verse or group of verses tells the entire story or gives the entire answer. But, in this verse, Jesus is very clear.
Jesus is describing the ultimate judgement of all people of all time. This isn’t limited to first century Jewish people or Christians or even religious people. He specifically says, all the nations. He gives specific criteria for how he is going to separate all people from all nations into two categories of those who enter God’s kingdom and those who don’t.
Before we look more closely at his criteria, a few words about sheep and goats.
Here is a sheep
And, this is a goat.
And this is a sheep and a goat.
They are obviously different. Anyone can tell them apart by looking at them. But, it turns out, in the first century, they weren’t so different. Sheep have been bred to be soft and fluffy, for their wool. Back then, you couldn’t tell a sheep from a goat just by taking a quick look. You had to watch their actions. A goat behaves very differently from a sheep. Sheep follow their shepherd. Goats do their own thing. Sheep avoid obstacles. Goats eat them. There is a saying, shepherds protect their sheep from the environment. Goat herders protect the environment from their goats.
Jesus said he would separate all the people of the world the way sheep and goats were separated, by their behavior, by their actions.
That is the world context of this passage. Behavior determines outcome.
Let’s look at the scriptural context. This is the third story in the chapter. The first story is a parable about ten women, five of whom behaved wisely and five who didn’t. They were ultimately judged according to their behavior. The second story is of a businessman who gives three employees different amounts of resources and leaves. When he comes back, he rewards two of them who invested his resources and punishes the third who did nothing with what he was given.
Like the world context, the scriptural context is behavior determines outcome.
Let me put on screen again Jesus’ behavioral criteria up that he said he would use to separate the people of the world.
(Jon all on one screen)
? I was hungry, and you fed me.
? I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink.
? I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.
? I was naked, and you gave me clothing.
? I was sick, and you cared for me.
? I was in prison, and you visited me.
These are all;
Acts of kindness
The clear, obvious message certainly appears to be, Jesus will separate all people based on whether or not they practiced acts of kindness. As I said, no portion of scripture can be taken out of context and interpreted separately from the rest of scripture. But, this text forces us to have a significant respect for, need for, appreciation for, even requirement for, acts of kindness.
Let me put in a word about love. As Christians, aren’t we supposed to be talking about love? As I have talked with pastors about kindness, I tend to get a reaction like, meh. Jesus tells us to love. Talk about that and we might be interested. I understand. I agree. But, how is that attitude working for the church and for Christians on a day to day, practical level? Try loving someone in line at Starbucks. Do it wrong and you may get arrested. Do it right, and it will look like an act of kindness.
Besides, where we like it or not, Christians are being judged by their kindness constantly in the world today. Its always been true. It was true in 2013 when Pope Frances was named person of the year. Its true today. Kindness matters.
Kindness is Jesus’ criteria for who inherits the kingdom and who does not. Not my words.
This is so radical a statement that I feel compelled to remind us of equally clear messages from scripture about our opportunity and need to come into relationship with Jesus.
Romans 10:9
9 If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
That is very clear and very different than our text from Matthew. It’s these apparent contradictions that keep theologians and Bible scholars employed.
Thank goodness I am not a theologian. I have the privilege of believing and declaring, both are true.
Salvation comes as we openly declare that Jesus is Lord.
AND
Kindness is a criteria by which we shall be judged. How that will happen, I don’t know. But, when it happens, it won’t be anything new. People are being judged by their kindness or lack of it, all the time.
As an example, I have two words for you. Elon Musk. Famous for inventing the greatest electric car of all time, the Tesla. And, he is putting rockets in space and reimagining the entire industry of solar power for homes.
Musk tried to help save the Thai boys soccer team. He was racing to get them a kid-sized submarine for goodness sake. Who knows how much that cost and how many hours his engineers put into it. He was willing to help if he could, not because it had anything to do with selling cars. That was kindness. It didn’t work out. The rescuers didn’t or couldn’t use his submarine. Thankfully, all the boys were rescued. Then, one of the divers said something negative about Musk’s efforts and Elon just couldn’t restrain himself. He had to tweet something very negative about the diver who the rest of the world considers a hero.
He has had to apologize. He was called out internationally and by Tesla shareholder groups. And, his company’s stock lost two billion dollars the day after his unkind remarks.
Let’s leave social media alone and come back to our topic with a simple but profound word from the apostle Paul in
Eph 4:32, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
There it is. It doesn’t get any clearer. Be kind to each another. And, it is radical. Being kind is radically different than the behavior we see demonstrated in our country, even by Christians. I don’t always know where to start. I’ve been in a conversation with one of our members who asked me, San Clemente is struggling - homeless, crime, toll road, nuclear waste buried down the street, high cost of living …. people are looking for answers. How can kindness help? Good question. None of us can do everything but each of us can do something. I call it washing the elephant. The problems are big, too big, like an elephant looming over us, but I can do something, I can wash the part of the elephant that’s in front of me. I can’t do much but I can do something.
I think if we match up the verses that call us to be kind with those that say we need to openly declare that Jesus is Lord, we find that
We are called to have faith
that demonstrates the goodness and God-ness of Jesus
through acts of kindness.
I call it hula hoop kindness. (hold up hula hoop)
With a hula hoop, you have everything inside the hoop, everything outside, and the hoop itself. Kindness has the same three. Inner kindness, outer kindness, and shared kindness.
Outer kindness is everything outside the hula hoop. Outer kindness is what we do for others without their participation. It’s the golden rule in Matt 7:12, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is everything from buying the groceries for the person behind you at the supermarket to building hospitals and schools in third world countries to writing thank you notes. The possibilities are, literally, unlimited.
Inner kindness is everything inside the circle. This is the kindness inside us. Its Prov 4:23, Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. It is our kindness towards ourselves and also how we think about others.
And, third there is shared kindness, represented by the circle itself. Its done with others, alongside them together. Ecc 4:12 says, A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
I’ll tell you about a situation that happened to me recently that identifies all three kindnesses. At Starbucks one morning, I saw a woman walking toward the door with a purse on her left arm, briefcase in her left hand, and balanced in her right hand was a four-cup tray with five venti and grande drinks. My inside kindness made me want to offer help. My outside kindness opened the door for her. She thanked me as she walked past. So far, I had inwardly felt kind and outwardly acted kind but we hadn’t done anything together. My car was parked a couple spots past her’s so I was following her for a car’s length. I saw her fumble with her key, arms full, drinks precarious and, without approaching her, not wanting to be creepy, I said, can I help you with that?
She hesitated. You could see her thinking. She said, no thanks, I’ve got it. I walked on. Can you sense the step up from an outside act of kindness to shared kindness? Outside kindness required nothing from her, there is no commitment on the part of the receiver. Outside kindness is a one-way act. Shared is a two way interaction, an engagement. That Starbucks woman was happy to receive an act of outward kindness but was not ready to commit to a shared moment. I was a stranger. I would need to either hold her drinks or her briefcase. I would be standing next to her as she opened the door to her car with no one else around. It was more than she was comfortable with. She had seen my outside act of kindness but she didn’t know my inside kindness.
Here is where transformation comes in. The size of our hula hoop, that is, how much shared kindness others are willing and able to engage in with us, is based on the size of our inside kindness (hold up small ring). The greater or smaller our inside kindness, the larger or smaller our hula hoop will be. Have you ever been in a situation where someone has offered to help you with something, but you don’t really want their help because it comes with too many strings attached? Their amount of inside kindness keeps their shared kindness small.
Now, when we go back to the story of the sheep and the goats, it gets even clearer. Every example Jesus gave that would be used to identify and separate people who were inheriting his Kingdom from those who weren’t is an example of shared kindness.
(Jon all on one screen, only the bold. Don’t include my notes)
? I was hungry, and you fed me.
? I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink.
? I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.
? I was sick, and you cared for me.
? I was in prison, and you visited me. Notes: not sent me food – that’s outside
Not you sympathized with my thirst – that’s inside
That’s shared
Shared
Shared
Let that sink in for a minute. Jesus holds his followers accountable to share acts of kindness with others.
I said I would give you three ways you can be kinder today in the last two minutes. Here they are. There is an outside, an inside, and a shared kindness you can begin practicing today.
Outside: Hi five. Say hello or affirm five people each day. At the end of the day, count them off on your fingers. The jogger running past me. The person parking next to me. Joe at work. It doesn’t have to be hello. It can be, nice to see you, have a nice day, or how you doing. If you are married include your spouse, and try this – you too. A friend of mine said she has been saying “Have a nice day” to her husband every morning for twenty years. Every morning he says, thanks, I will, okay. She asked me one day, do you think it would kill him to one time say, you too. Everyone turn to the person beside you and say, you too. I should get at least one email that says this one tip has helped a marriage. Nealnybo@atnealnybo.com.
Outside, hi five.
Inside, count to two. Remember when we used to say count to ten. If you wait ten seconds to respond to someone today the are going to call 911 or check for a pulse. So count to two. When you are in a meeting or a conversation. When someone finishes, count to two. Pausing is makes you look smarter for one thing. But for another, it is an inside effort at not having to jump in or interrupt or get your point across. You may start listening more. You watch how many times other jump in, finish someone’s sentence, interrupts or takes off on another topic without responding to what was just said. People are constantly playing top that. Oh, you were in a fender bender, I was in a car crash. Oh, really, a tree fell on my house. Count to two. Breath. It may take awhile for anyone to notice you haven’t said anything because everyone else is jumping in. Its okay. Its building you inside kindness and others will be happier to have you in a conversation when you listen more and interrupt less.
Outside, hi five. Inside, count to two.
Shared, can you help me? Have you ever noticed people respond more easily to, can you help me than to can I help you? Find simple ways to ask for help. Could you help me move this table? Would you grab that chair please? Can you please hand me a napkin? And, instantly, you and another human being are engaged in a shared act of kindness. You will only do it if you have been working.
Outside, hi five. Inside, count to two, shared, can you help me.
Sounds simple. Doesn’t sound particularly religious. We are tempted to ask what’s Christian about any of that?
37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
Amen.
