MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
TEXT: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Luke 7:36-50
A. As most of you realize, during the last 2 weeks I have based my messages on Paul's description of love found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a where he wrote:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
Just imagine, If we would really put this love into practice in our homes & in our relationships with others, it could turn our world right side up!
B. Now this morning I want to draw your attention to a characteristic of love that is mentioned at the very beginning of Vs. 5. The apostle Paul says, "Love is not rude." In other words, "Love is polite."
ILL. The J.B. Phillips N.T. paraphrases this with these words, "Love practices good manners."
But at first glance, that characteristic of love appears to be rather out-of-date. I mean, we are living in a world that seems to be torn apart by all kinds of hatreds, national conflicts, racial strife, class warfare, & even religious hostility. And I'm sure it was possibly even worse back in Paul's day.
Yet he makes it a point to tell us, "Love is polite; love is not rude." And the shortage of this characteristic may be key to a lot of the problems we face today.
Politeness is defined as "having good manners, being considerate of others, being courteous." And all we have to do is to turn on the TV news to be convinced that the message of consideration for others is desperately needed in our world today.
ILL. The March issue of the "Reader's Digest" a few years ago had an article titled "How to Raise Polite Kids in a Rude World." In it, the author said, "Mention ill-mannered children & most people roll their eyes....
He wrote, "I still get angry about an incident that happened last summer. We were staying at a country inn that had a small movie theater. Each evening, before going to the theatre, my husband & I instructed our 3?year?old son that he would need to sit quietly in there. And he did. Except for an occasional whispered question, he sat in rapt attention.
"The soundtrack, however, was impossible to hear. That's because two children bounced on their seats, talked loudly & raced up & down the aisles. Never once did I see either of their parents. After several evenings of this, I followed the children to the dining room. There sat a man & woman enjoying a leisurely meal.
"I said to them, 'My family is having a hard time watching the film with your children running all over the theater. Do you think if they're not interested in the movie, you could keep them out here?'
"The father regarded me coolly. 'We've paid for the use of the inn's facilities,' he said. 'Our children can go anywhere they please.'
"I was dumfounded. What could make a seemingly rational couple condone behavior that is so obviously rude? Have we as a society become so consumed with our own desires & the impulses of our children that everyone else's rights are ignored?"
I. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO COMMON COURTESY?
A. So let me ask a question, "Whatever happened to common courtesy?"
ILL. A few years ago I heard about a man who stopped to hold the door open for the woman coming behind him. But instead of expressing appreciation, she was irate. She said, "You don't have to hold the door open for me just because I'm a woman."
He answered, "I didn't hold the door open because you're a woman. I held the door open because I'm a gentleman."
ILL. I can remember years ago going to watch the St. Louis Cardinals play, & standing in the midst of crowds of people when the national anthem was sung. As we stood there almost everyone put their hand over their heart, & we felt a sense of reverence & awe as we stood & sang together.
But do I need to say anything further about how some are acting when the national anthem is sung today?
And images of people rioting in the streets or disrupting even the highest officials of the land with obscene language & gestures are being shown to us almost daily.
B. But it wasn't always that way. I remember when growing up that my parents were sticklers for good manners. We sat at the table & they said, "Sit up straight, put your napkin on your lap, & never put your elbow on the table. And always remember to say 'Please' & 'Thank you.'"
We were taught to respect our elders, & to treat them with courtesy. When we went to church my father & mother impressed on us that this was a special place, & we weren't to behave the way we sometimes did in other places. That was just the way we were brought up.
APPL. I wonder, if you are parents today of young children, are you teaching your children lessons of courtesy, of consideration for others? If you are, I applaud you, because those lessons will live with them throughout their lives. And they'll grow up to be polite & courteous simply because they learned to be that way at home.
II. AN EXAMPLE OF COURTESY IN SCRIPTURE
A. Let me show you an example of courtesy in scripture. In Luke 7 there is a wonderful story in the life of Jesus. It is a story that shows a contrast between the courtesy of Jesus & the rudeness of a Pharisee named Simon.
Vs. 36 says, "Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so He went to the Pharisee's house & reclined at the table."
Let me set the stage for you. When you invite someone to your home, it is usually in a spirit of hospitality. And when they come you treat them with kindness & respect.
But when we see how Simon treated Jesus we're not exactly sure why Simon invited Him. Maybe Simon was hoping in some way to entrap or embarrass Jesus in the presence of His friends. We just don't know why he invited Jesus.
B. William Barclay points out that back in Bible times there were 3 things that were always done when a guest came to your home - 3 common acts of courtesy.
1. First of all, there was always a basin of water with a towel, & the feet of the guest were washed, either by a servant or by the host himself, because the roads were dusty, & they wore sandals. That was a refreshing & polite thing to do for your guest.
2. Secondly, you would always greet your guests by grasping their shoulders & giving them what was called "the kiss of peace." It was kind of like shaking hands today, a way of welcoming them into your home.
3. Thirdly, there was always perfume or a cooling ointment of some kind to be used to anoint the guest's head as an expression of welcome.
But when Jesus came into Simon's home, Simon didn't do any of those things. So notice how Jesus reacted. He could have turned around & left saying, "If you aren't going to greet me properly, I refuse to waste my time with you."
But He didn't. No, He went on in & it says that He "reclined at the table." Now tables were low to the ground & you didn't sit on a chair - you reclined on a stuffed pad beside the table.
Usually, because of the heat, an evening meal was served out in an open-air patio or courtyard. And it was customary when a distinguished guest or teacher was invited, those who were interested in what he had to say could come into the courtyard & listen to what was going on. And that's the scene pictured here.
Vs's 37-38 tell us, "When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town" (I take it that she was probably a prostitute) "learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume,
"and as she stood behind Him at His feet weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them & poured perfume on them."
Now this is a touching scene, & I hope you can sense the emotion of this woman. It doesn't mention it, but I assume she must have heard Jesus before, & what He said had ignited a spark of hope within her heart.
So when she learned that He was going to be at the home of Simon, she came to the courtyard to be near Him.
She must have planned her visit, because she brought an alabaster jar of perfume. And as she stands behind Jesus & listens, she begins to weep. Her tears are so many that they fall on His dusty feet.
She is embarrassed by that, so she unpins her hair & kneels down, & with her hair tries to wipe away her tears from the feet of Jesus. Do you sense the awkwardness of the moment?
What would you have done if you had been Simon the Pharisee & this sinful woman suddenly began to weep all over one of your guests, & then tried to make amends by wiping his feet with her hair?
It is interesting question because as he watches all this Simon immediately began to pass judgment upon Jesus.
Vs. 39 says, "When the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, 'If this man were a prophet, He would know who is touching Him & what kind of woman she is - that she is a sinner.'"
Now what He didn't realize was that Jesus knew what he was thinking. So vs. 40 says, "Jesus answered him, 'Simon, I have something to tell you.' 'Tell me, teacher,' he said."
Then Jesus tells a parable, recorded in vs's 41-43. "'Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him 500 denarii, & the other 50. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both.
'Now which of them will love him more?' Simon replied, 'I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled.' `You have judged correctly,' Jesus said."
Now here is the application. (Vs's 44-50) "Then He turned toward the woman & said to Simon, 'Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears & wiped them with her hair.
'You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet.
'Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven - for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.' Then Jesus said to her, 'Your sins are forgiven.'
"The other guests began to say among themselves, 'Who is this who even forgives sins?' Jesus said to the woman, 'Your faith has saved you, go in peace'"
APPL. Now remember, in this sermon we're talking about love, & in particular, Paul's description of one of the characteristics of love - "Love is not rude; love is polite."
And in doing so we need to realize that this characteristic of love is about more than just being gracious & considerate. For if people don't see the love of Christ in us, they are less likely to see Him in the gospel we proclaim.
III. LESSONS WE NEED TO LEARN
Now let me mention 3 lessons that I think we need to learn.
A. First of all, love thinks before it speaks. Proverbs 25:11 says, "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver."
To put it simply, we need to grow in the Christian grace of tactfulness - to know what to say & how to say it to reduce friction between people.
Proverbs 15:1 reminds us that "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Love takes the time to consider its words & choose them carefully.
B. Secondly, love makes us more concerned with the feelings & needs of others, & less concerned with getting our own way.
ILL. Robert Fulgham wrote a popular book entitled "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten". Some of the things he learned were: "Share everything; Play fair; Don't hit people; Put things back where you found them; Clean up your own mess; Don't take things that aren't yours; Say you are sorry when you hurt somebody; Wash your hands before you eat."
C. Finally, love doesn't seek to "get even" - that's what we call "grace."
ILL. It wasn't nice at all! Everyone’s mouth had dropped open at the very rude comment made to the receptionist by Cathy, the highest ranking female employee on the floor. The receptionist was a plain, quiet woman, not dressed very well, who diligently did her work & tried to be friendly to everyone.
Shock registered on the faces of other employees as they watched to see how she would retaliate. But she didn’t. She simply turned & walked quietly back to her station & resumed her duties. After exchanging looks that said “Can you believe Cathy just said that to her?” they also returned to their duties.
The next morning dawned a cool, crisp fall day & employees were bustling into the busy office when the receptionist walked in & put her purse away. An older employee looked curiously at the beautiful cellophane wrapped mug of assorted chocolates & candies in the hands of the receptionist. It was brightly decorated with spirals of ribbon. She wrote something on a small card & attached it with another ribbon curl.
“Whose birthday is it?” the older woman asked. “No one’s,” the receptionist replied. "Who’s the candy mug for?" the woman asked. "It’s for Cathy," she answered.
Surprised, the older woman said, “If I were you, I don’t think I’d feel like giving Cathy anything after what she said to you yesterday.” “It’s not about what I feel like doing,” the receptionist quietly replied. Then she turned & walked off to place the mug on Cathy’s desk.
It would have been easy for her to retaliate against Cathy for her remark. But the receptionist was better than that. And that was not the kind of person she wished to become.
As Gary Chapman once said, “Life is a slow journey of becoming the people we choose to be.”
(Contributed by Glynda Lomax Lomax to Sermon Central, & adapted from Sidewalk Flowers - Vol. 1.)
And because we have received God's grace, we seek to extend that grace to others. We don't give them "what they deserve," because Jesus took upon Himself what we deserved. We don't insist on "our rights," because Jesus didn't insist on His.
God's love & grace are so great that, while we were sinners He loved us & sent His Son to die in our place. We are here because of His grace!
INVITATION
