2 Samuel 13: 1 – 39
Lust is not love
13 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her. 3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ” 6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.” 7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. 11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.” 12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing! 13 And I, where could I take my shame? And as for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king; for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her. 15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!” 16 So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. 17 Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.” 18 Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her. 19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her robe of many colors that was on her, and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly. 20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar. 23 And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.” 25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom urged him; so he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him. 28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled. 30 And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!” 31 So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn. 32 Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.” 34 Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Look, the king’s sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is.” 36 So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also, the king and all his servants wept very bitterly. 37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.
As a Pastor I've seen how intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people. Why? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to have sex. Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the same area lights up when an addict gets a fix of cocaine as when a person is experiencing the intense lust of physical attraction. Also in the early stage of a relationship, when the sex hormones are raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection--you see what you hope someone will be or need them to be--rather than seeing the real person, flaws and all.
Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and fantasy--it often dissipates when the "real person" surfaces. It's the stage of wearing rose colored glasses when he or she "can do no wrong." Being in love doesn't exclude lust. In fact, lust can lead to love. However, real love, not based on idealization or projection, requires time to get to know each other. Here are some signs to watch for to differentiate pure lust from love;
Signs of lust
You're totally focused on a person's looks and body.
You're interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.
You'd rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
You want to leave soon after sex rather than just holding each other.
You are lovers, but not friends.
Signs of love
You want to spend quality time together other than sex.
You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
You want to honestly listen to each other's feelings, make each other happy.
He or she motivates you to be a better person.
You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.
Another challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay centered and listen to your gut in the early stages of being with someone. This isn't easy during hormones surging, but it's essential to make healthy relationship decisions. Here are some tips to help you keep your presence of mind when you're attracted to someone. This needn't pull the plug on passion, but it'll make you more aware, so you don't go looking for trouble.
Watch for red flags:
1. A little voice in your gut says "danger" or "beware."
2. You have a sense of weakness, discomfort, or feeling drained after you're together.
3. Your attraction feels destructive or dark.
4. You're uncomfortable with how this person is treating you, but you're afraid that if you mention it, you'll push him or her away.
We have witnessed how sin can negatively affect even the most dedicated believer. We have learned how David after being victorious, successful, and blessed in almost everything he came across has allowed pride to sway his conscience. He had seen a beautiful woman taking a bath and allowed his thoughts to get the best of him. In a sinful pursuit he allowed lust and his power to just take this wife of a devoted friend of his and sleep with her. He was so dulled by his sin that he forgot the God he loved had seen everything he did.
There is a saying that says, ‘more is caught than taught.’ Being the children of someone extremely important the attitude most incorporate are spoiled brats. Sadly, this was exactly what happened to a son of David’s. Ammon had noticed the beauty of his step-sister Tamar. Lust is not love. When lust can fully develop it turns to death as we will see in this chapter.
Having confirmed Yahweh’s acceptance of David as a forgiven sinner following on his great sins, an acceptance which was confirmed by Yahweh’s naming of Solomon and by David’s victory over the Ammonites, the Holy Spirit will now go into some depths to make clear what the consequences nevertheless were of David’s sins. For what David had done inevitably affected his sons, who were vividly aware of his sin while at the same time not being with him in his repentance. David’s sad period of arrogance bred in them a similar royal arrogance and an inevitable carelessness in respect of sexual matters and of violence towards others, which they began to see as a royal prerogative. ‘After all,’ they would say, ‘we are only behaving like our father did, and what other role model do we have? He is the only royal example that we know.’ Thus, while David still had authority over his kingdom, he had lost his personal parental authority over his own sons because of his own bad example. It was one of the great disadvantages of polygamy that the children tended to receive their personal training from their mothers, and from servants, with their father being a distant father figure, so that what they learned from him was usually conveyed by his outward behavior generally, something which was of crucial importance as an example to his children. It is a reminder to all parents that they should keep in mind that what they are speaks far louder than what they say.
The first consequence of David’s sins had been seen in the death of David’s baby son. Now the next consequence would be seen in the behavior of his firstborn, Amnon. He too, like his father, saw a woman and lusted after her, and then took her and lay with her. Like father, like son. And then he too would callously desert her and go about his own affairs. It is difficult to decide whose behavior was most despicable, that of David or that of Amnon. But while he had learned his behavior from his father, Amnon did not have David’s spirituality, nor had he learned to repent.
13 After this Absalom the son of David had a lovely sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her.
We now discover that Absalom, the king’s third son, had a sister named Tamar who was very beautiful, so much so that Amnon, the firstborn son of David loved her. It is stressed that both Absalom and Amnon were sons of David, which indicates that Tamar was the king’s daughter and Amnon’s half-sister, and as such she was forbidden to him by the Law (Leviticus 20.17).
2 Amnon was so distressed over his sister Tamar that he became sick; for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her.
Amnon loved his half-sister so intensely that it was making him sick.
Amnon longed to take her and win her affection and make love to her, but found it impossible, partly because of her maidenly modesty and unwillingness to engage in anything wrong, partly because she would be regularly chaperoned, and partly because he knew that it was illegal.
3 But Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Now Jonadab was a very crafty man.
Amnon had a close friend who was his cousin, whose name was Jonadab. He was the son of David’s brother Shimeah (Shammah). He was a very cunning man. It is a reminder of how careful we should be about the kind of people with whom we make close friends.
4 And he said to him, “Why are you, the king’s son, becoming thinner day after day? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
Jonadab, seeing how thin and sickly Amnon was getting, asked him what his problem was. And in the end Amnon admitted that he loved with great intensity his half-sister Tamar, Absalom’s sister. Please notice the emphasis on ‘O son of the king’. This was the problem. Amnon was following in the train of his father and copying David’s mid-life arrogance. It was because he saw himself as the son of the king that he felt able to do what he did without regard to anyone.
5 So Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come and give me food, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’
Jonadab then suggested to him how he could obtain what he wanted. All he had to do was pretend that he was ill and ask his father to send Tamar to him in order that she might specially prepare food in his presence.
6 Then Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; and when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let Tamar my sister come and make a couple of cakes for me in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
Following Jonadab’s advice Amnon, who was consumed with desire, lay down and pretended that he was ill, and when ‘the king’, his concerned father, came to him he requested that his sister Tamar be allowed to come and make cakes in front of him. Perhaps her good cooking will inspire him to eat.
7 And David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Now go to your brother Amnon’s house, and prepare food for him.”
So David sent a message to Tamar calling on her to go to her brother Amnon’s living quarters and dress some food for him. He would expect the servants to be present. It came to her, of course, as a royal command so that there was little that she could do but obey.
8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was lying down. Then she took flour and kneaded it, made cakes in his sight, and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and placed them out before him, but he refused to eat. Then Amnon said, “Have everyone go out from me.” And they all went out from him.
So Tamar went to Amnon’s living quarters where he was lying down, presumably on cushions. But she would sense no danger, for all the servants were present. And there she took dough and kneaded it, and formed it into cakes in front of him, and baked the cakes. Note the long drawn out description which is building up the tension of the story.
Then Amnon ordered all the servants out of the room and they all left, leaving the two alone together. Poor Tamar. She was seemingly unafraid and unaware. And he was after all the king’s firstborn.
10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them to Amnon her brother in the bedroom. 11 Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”
Because he was the crown prince apparent, she did what he requested. As a loving and sympathetic sister, she suspected nothing. But when she did approach him with the food he became violent and seized her, demanding that she have sexual relations with him. Tamar must have been deeply horrified. She had never dreamed that her brother could behave like this. But this was all the result of the arrogance that David had bred into his sons by his own example. What he was suggesting was contrary to all that she had been brought up to believe.
12 But she answered him, “No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing!
She pleaded with him, and begged him not to rape her, pointing out that it was not the kind of thing that was acceptable in Israel, especially as she was his half-sister. It was contrary to God’s Law. She asked him not to behave so foolishly, and to consider how because of any such action she would be shamed in the sight of all, so much so that she would have nowhere to hide. She would no longer be a chaste virgin. And as for him he would be ‘one of the fools in Israel’. The implication behind the word ‘fool’ was that he would be godless and rebellious against The Holy God of Israel Yahweh.
I believe that she came up quickly with a good alternative offer to Amnon so she could stall for time and escape from his clutches. She begged him to ask the king for her hand in marriage, assuring him that she was sure that the king, who doted on his sons, would not withhold her from him.
14 However, he would not heed her voice; and being stronger than she, he forced her and lay with her.
Amnon now overwhelmed with the desire to have sex with her did not listen.
15 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Arise, be gone!”
Having had his way with her his desire for her suddenly turned to hate. For there had been no real love in his heart, just an awakened sexual desire that happened to have fallen on Tamar, and now that it was satisfied his guilt for what he had done was turned on his innocent sister. The result was that he curtly and callously dismissed her from his room, saying, ‘Arise, be gone.’
16 So she said to him, “No, indeed! This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her.
The tumult in poor Tamar’s mind must have been awful in the extreme. She had been gently brought up and taught the horror of sexual behavior outside marriage. And now she realized that the worst thing that could happen to any Israelite woman had happened to her. She had been deflowered outside the marriage bed. She was no longer a chaste virgin. And what was more the beast who had done it to her, whom she had always looked on as a big brother, was now rejecting her. Unable to believe it she begged him with tears to reconsider. Raping her had been bad enough but turning her away after what he had done was worse even than the act itself. However, he would not listen. Why should he? He was the king’s eldest son. He can do whatever he likes.
17 Then he called his servant who attended him, and said, “Here! Put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.”
Revealing his utter callousness and arrogance he then called on this close servant to take his young sister whom he called ‘this’ and throw her out, bolting the door behind her.
18 Now she had on a robe of many colors, for the king’s virgin daughters wore such apparel. And his servant put her out and bolted the door behind her.
So the beautiful daughter of the king, still wearing the clothes which were the badge of the king’s virgin daughter, but now cruelly deflowered and raped by the king’s own son, was thrust out from his rooms, with the door bolted behind her. The servant probably did not know what was going on and did his master’s bidding.
19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head and tore her robe of many colors that was on her and laid her hand on her head and went away crying bitterly.
But Tamar knew. It is impossible for us to have any conception of how distraught Tamar must have felt. She was a young immature girl who had experienced a sexual nightmare. She must have been totally bewildered and devastatingly upset. She would not have been able to believe that her own half-brother whom she had trusted and looked up to, had done to her what to any woman was unimaginable. Her life was in ruins. She put ashes on her head as a sign of mourning for her lost virginity, and tore her virginal garments of many colors, an act which indicated both deep emotion and the tearing away of her virginity, and she put her hand to her head as a sign of her distress and despair (Jeremiah 2.37). Then she went her way weeping and crying in her distress. All in a moment her life had been torn apart, while Amnon no doubt lay callously on his cushions, totally unconcerned.
20 And Absalom her brother said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this thing to heart.” So, Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house.
When Absalom, her blood brother learned what had happened it hit hard to him. We will learn that this act of Amnon’s understandably changed Absalom from being a loyal son and brother into a person determined on revenge. He would have the evidence of Amnon’s deed ever before him. Even so he lovingly tried his best to assuage her grief, and to put the best light on things. So Amnon her brother had forced her to lay with him? Let her not take it too badly. After all he was her brother. She must not take it too deeply to heart, for surely David his father would ensure that the right thing was done by her? Poor Absalom. He did what he could. But he was only a man. How could he even begin to conceive what it meant to Tamar. And he still did not yet know his father.
But even more we must say, poor Tamar. She remained desolate in her brother’s house. Her life was devastated and lay in ruins around her. The lovely young princess who had gone to Amnon with such innocence and sisterly love had grown almost immediately inward looking and old before her time, seeing herself as a thing despoiled and being totally ashamed.
21 But when King David heard of all these things, he was very angry.
When king David heard of all that had happened he was very angry. Well done David!! However, what about putting things right, at least as far as possible? He should, of course, have sentenced Amnon to death for incest. But he did not do that, and he also probably did not want his firstborn married to a disgraced woman, especially when she was within the forbidden degrees. So, he probably ranted and raged, and then did nothing. Once again, we are faced with a clear flaw in David’s character. He should have exerted himself to behave justly, but when it came to family matters he was weak, made even weaker because of his own bad example. In his eyes what his sons did could not really be wrong. In his eyes they were above the Law. David’s obedience to Yahweh was flawed when it came to his sons. But it was a flaw that was to cost him dear, for Absalom had learned from his father how to dispose of what got in your way.
22 And Absalom spoke to his brother Amnon neither good nor bad. For Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
Absalom stored all what had happened to his sister away in his mind. He said nothing to his brother. In fact, he simply never spoke to him again, and presumably just avoided him. But in his heart, he was nursing hatred and a desire for vengeance, a desire no doubt continually fed by what he saw of his sister and what she had become, for she would be no longer bright and lively but totally withdrawn into herself. Amnon had not killed her, but he may as well have done so, for he had ruined her life completely. And Absalom’s anger was not only directed at Amnon, but at his dad David himself, because he had not given Tamar justice. Also he may have felt that the only one who mattered to David as far as his kids were concerned was his firstborn Amnon who had the right to sin and not face any consequences while the rest of David’s children were second class. Whatever would follow, David had brought on himself. He had only himself to blame.
Two years went by and Amnon was no doubt feeling that his slight aberration had been almost forgotten. Neither David nor Absalom had done anything, and he was not too concerned about Absalom’s refusal to talk with him. He no doubt felt that things had settled down. But within Absalom’s apartments there was a beloved sister who, while she had no doubt recovered slightly from her ordeal, lived out her life in desolation and distress. All her hopes in life had vanished. Absalom had not forgotten.
23 And it came to pass, after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baal Hazor, which is near Ephraim; so Absalom invited all the king’s sons.
When the time came for sheepshearing on Absalom’s land, (sheepshearing was an event that was always accompanied by joyous celebration.), Absalom invited to it all the king’s sons, and he put as much pressure as he could on David to bid his sons to go to Absalom’s sheepshearing (as David had bidden Tamar to go to Amnon’s rooms), for he had plans of his own.
Let us stop for a moment and look at some things. Remember back when the prophet Nathan to confront David on his sin of adultery. Nathan had said that David would lose 4 of his sheep (children). The baby died and there were three yet to die. David never understood what was happening. In addition David should have remembered the sheepshearing celebrations of Nabal to and how that all turned out. That too had ended in a death. But he had no cause to think that any such thing would happen at Absalom’s sheepshearing, for in his complacency he no doubt thought like Amnon was thinking that all was again at peace within his family.
The sheepshearing was to take place at Baal-hazor. This is generally identified with a mountain 5 miles north east of Bethel.
24 Then Absalom came to the king and said, “Kindly note, your servant has sheepshearers; please, let the king and his servants go with your servant.”
So with the annual sheepshearing celebrations in view Absalom sought the king’s presence. he pointed out that it was the time for celebration of sheepshearing among his shepherds and that as he was attending it he was issuing an invitation to the king and his sons to attend with him and let their hair down.
We will learn later after coming back from his self-deportation from Israel that Absalom wants the kingship and sets about winning the hearts of the people and then quite willing to kill his dad David and all who would hinder his plans. Perhaps since in Absalom’s viewpoint that David only cared for Amnon that his planned action was already being hatched.
25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go now, lest we be a burden to you.” Then he urged him, but he would not go; and he blessed him.
However, David was unwilling to go. So, he made the excuse that he did not want all of them to go and be a burden on Absalom. And although Absalom pressed him strongly he continued with his refusal. He did, however, not hesitate to give him his blessing and thank him for his offer.
26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?”
So when the king himself refused to attend the sheepshearing Absalom was not put out, he simply requested him to send Amnon with the guise that as the eldest son Amnon could represent the royal family. This request for representation by royalty would generally be understood, for the host, Absalom, was after all royal on both sides of the family, being a son of David, and grandson of the king of Geshur. The king, however, in his desire to again follow Yahweh with all his heart was regaining discernment. On his mind was, ‘Why are you so keen on wanting Amnon there at you place? He would know of the rift between Amnon and Absalom. Perhaps he hoped that this was a sign that the rift was healing.
27 But Absalom urged him; so, he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
Absalom pressed him so hard that in the end he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him, for he loved Absalom dearly and wanted to please him. As with Amnon, David had a rosy view of all his sons. Thus, he trusted them all, not recognizing what havoc his own behavior had wrought in their moral attitudes.
Whilst David refused to carry out the death sentence that Amnon’s sin demanded, Absalom had other ideas. Strictly speaking, in fact, in executing Amnon he was carrying out the sentence of the Law, and at the same time avenging the stain that Amnon had brought on the royal family of Geshur. In this he was justified. For Tamar was not only David’s daughter, she was also the granddaughter of the king of Geshur. Thus, in Geshur his action would undoubtedly have been just and right, and he may well have seen himself as a prince of Geshur justly acting as the representative of his people in avenging what had been done to their princess.
Like we witnessed in Joab’s lawful vengeance on Abner who killed his brother, David will later recognize that justice was on Absalom’s side in that he made no real attempt to have Absalom extradited. While the king of Geshur might certainly initially have refused to hand his grandson Absalom over, contending that he had only been obtaining justice for Geshur, there is little doubt that David could have made him do so had he wished. But instead he held his peace.
28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, “Watch now, when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon!’ then kill him. Do not be afraid. Have I not commanded you? Be courageous and valiant.”
Once the king’s sons had arrived at sheepshearing they would begin to enjoy plenty of food and wine, but Absalom had already instructed his servants that as soon as Amnon was sufficiently drunk he would give the order for them to kill him. At that point, he said, they should act bravely and do what he had commanded them without fear because he would take full responsibility.
29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each one got on his mule and fled.
And when the time came, and the sign was given, Absalom’s servants did precisely what Absalom had commanded them and slew Amnon. The result was that the remainder of the king’s sons panicked and fled on their mules. Thus, was the raping of a princess of Geshur avenged, and thus had Amnon been executed in accordance with the Law forbidding incest. Absalom had acted justly as a prince of Geshur.
30 And it came to pass, while they were on the way, that news came to David, saying, “Absalom has killed all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left!”
Someone left the sheepshearing celebrations and headed straight to inform David what happened.
31 So the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the ground, and all his servants stood by with their clothes torn.
The king was understandably devastated by the news and ritually tore his clothes, an evidence of deep feeling, and fell on the earth before Yahweh, while all his servant around him also tore their clothes, sharing with him in his anguish.
32 Then Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, answered and said, “Let not my lord suppose they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for only Amnon is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar.
Jonadab, however, who was David’s nephew and was the man who had advised Amnon in his evil deed, seems to have known what was going to happen, for he assured the king that only Amnon was dead, and that his other sons had not been harmed. This would suggest that in some way he was in Absalom’s confidence, at least sufficiently to have been let into the secret. It may well be that he had honestly been disgusted at the way that Amnon had treated Tamar after he had raped her and had from then on sided with Absalom. He had probably expected that once Amnon had had his way with Tamar he would marry her. Abandoning the young girl in her misery had not been a part of what he had suggested.
33 Now therefore, let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead. For only Amnon is dead.”
So Jonadab assured the king not to think that all his sons were dead, because he knew that it was only Amnon who had been affected. Again, David misses out on common thinking. He should have said to Jonadab, ‘And how do you know that only Amnon was killed? Tell me all that you know and was a part of Absalom’s plans.’
34 Then Absalom fled. And the young man who was keeping watch lifted his eyes and looked, and there, many people were coming from the road on the hillside behind him.
Meanwhile, having assured himself that Amnon was dead, and that his sister had been avenged, Absalom fled. He would recognize that in Israel he would be seen as having committed high treason against the person of the king’s firstborn, and that if he remained he could be impeached for murder. It would be seen differently in Geshur.
In Jerusalem young man who was the watchman in looked round from his watchtower and saw on the hillside in the distance, a number of people riding towards Jerusalem.
35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Look, the king’s sons are coming; as your servant said, so it is.”
Once the news reached the palace Jonadab pointed out to David that it meant that his sons had returned, just as he had said.
36 So it was, as soon as he had finished speaking, that the king’s sons indeed came, and they lifted up their voice and wept. Also, the king and all his servants wept very bitterly.
Even while he was giving the assurance the king’s sons arrived on their mules, and entering the palace lifted their voices and wept in mourning for Amnon. And the king and his servants also joined in. For all now knew that David’s firstborn son and rightful heir to the throne was dead.
37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day.
Meanwhile Absalom fled to his grandfather Talmai, the son of Ammihur, king of Geshur, while David mourned the fact that he had lost Absalom as well as Amnon. He no doubt recognized the justice of what Absalom had done. He had carried out the execution that David himself should have arranged. This second mention of Absalom fleeing is in direct contrast with the sons arriving and telling David what had happened. They all came to the king, apart from Absalom, who fled. David had lost two sons in one action. And David felt the loss, for he mourned the loss of his son every day (just as Uriah’s mother had no doubt mourned the loss of her son every day).
38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years.
Once he had arrived in Geshur Absalom was there for ‘three years’. In Geshur Absalom’s act would have been seen as just revenge for a slight to their royal family.
39 And King David longed to go to Absalom. For he had been comforted concerning Amnon, because he was dead.
Meanwhile after a suitable time king David had recovered from his grief at the death of Amnon, simply because he was dead and there was no point in constantly thinking of the dead. And the result was that he began to think of his absent son Absalom.
