IN CHRIST, I AM…A BRIDGE-BUILDER—Ephesians 2:11-22
(Series on Ephesians: In Christ, I Am…)
My wife and I retired in Texas a few months ago, and we found ourselves, for the first time in our marriage, looking for a church to call home. We were looking beyond the friendly greeters holding the door open for worship, so we visited Sunday School classes, wondering how we would fit in. We were surprised when we felt like outsiders: not from Texas, not from the same denomination, not of the same age, not from the same neighborhood, or not with a history in that particular church. On our second visit to one class, we heard, “I’m surprised you came back. We are a rather closed group, because we have known each other so long, and we know everything about each other.”
Our experience makes me wonder how many people feel the same way in church, even after attending for quite some time. The initial friendliness has worn off, and they are wondering whether they really fit into the church fellowship.
Today, we are going to think about WHY it is difficult for people to be assimilated into the church, and HOW to build bridges between people.
Read Ephesians 2:11-22.
WHY is it difficult for people to fit in?
1. We might think some people are not worthy of being in our group.
***Kevin had a hard time fitting into the church. It wasn’t just the fact that he was a drug addict, which he was. It wasn’t just the fact that he did not have a lot of money, while many people in the church had much more. The biggest thing, he said, was that so many men in the church were tall, and he was short. He lacked Dutch genes, as well as the advantages of many in our church.**
Read Ephesians 2:11-12. Gentiles had four strikes against them:
Gentile Christians were “gentiles by birth.” From an early age, some Jews were taught that gentiles were inferior. Some Jews even called them “gentile dogs.” Many Jews felt that gentiles were “not our kind of people,” and that close relationships with them should be avoided.
***Ollie and Lena were Norwegian immigrants. Ollie was proud of his heritage, and he would often say, “Lena and I—we hundred percent Norwegian.” (Preacher—do the accent if you can.) One day, Ollie comes to work, overflowing with happiness. He tells everyone, “Lena going to have baby! I hundred percent Norwegian, Lena hundred percent Norwegian, baby hundred percent Norwegian.” Every day is the same: “…baby hundred percent Norwegian.” One day Ollie comes to work, and he is so sad. He mopes all day long, until finally someone asks him what is wrong. Mournfully he says, “Lena go to the doctor. Doctor says Lena is going to have a Syrian.” (Preacher: If your people will not get the reference to Caesarian delivery, don’t use this!)**
Gentiles had been “excluded from citizenship in Israel.” There was a sign in the temple in Jerusalem that said, “No foreigner is allowed to enter [and if one does, he is]…responsible for his ensuing death.”
Gentiles had been “foreigners to the covenants of the promise.” This went beyond prejudice; God chose the Jews to be included in his covenant, and non-Jews were included rarely, as foreigners. (Jesus and the coming of the Holy Spirit upon gentiles in Acts changed all that.)
Gentiles had been “without hope and without God in the world.” There really was something missing in their lives, before they came to Christ.
Some people might seem to us to be less worthy of being part of God’s church. Maybe we think they are not good enough, or not nice enough, or not attractive enough. Maybe we feel, although we would not admit it, that they don’t make our group as cool as we would like to think we are. Some people have “issues”: They are insecure, they monopolize conversations, they are abrasive, or they lack social skills.
2. We have difficulty connecting with some people.
Verse 19: “You are no longer foreigners and aliens.”
Some people literally are foreigners, or of other races or ethnic groups. Some are of different generations, or different social classes. Others don’t share many of our interests, so we find little to talk about. The differences are real, and it takes effort to build relationships.
Sometimes people in groups don’t want to make an effort to include others. If we have a circle of friends that is big enough to meet our needs for belonging, and small enough to be comfortable, there is little motivation to bring more people into the circle. People are excluded because they might change the dynamics of the group.
The result is that people don’t seem to fit in a group, because they don’t have natural connections with people, and no one is motivated to seek common ground, or to help them build connections.
3. We don’t get along with some people.
Read Ephesians 2:14.
Sometimes there is outright hostility. I had a neighbor who had a history with one of our church members. He had lived in the country, and he let his dog roam freely. The dog often went onto the property of the man in our church, causing problems with his livestock, and our church member shot the dog. Of course, there was little chance that my neighbor would ever come to our church.
In one large church, there was a man who had a vision and gift for evangelism. He went into a community of African immigrants, and many people came to Christ. When significant numbers of families started coming to church, however, there was a problem. In that church, children sat with their parents in worship. Children in the immigrant families were not trained to sit quietly in church for a long period of time, and the service became quite noisy. There was conflict.
When there are differences in politics, church fellowship becomes more difficult. Differences in lifestyle can cause discomfort and discord. Personal desires for power or control can cause dissension.
Coming together in the church can be difficult!
HOW can we build bridges between people?
1. Recognize our own unworthiness.
Read Ephesians 2:11-13.
***When I preach, I usually sit alone in the front pew before I stand before the congregation; it helps me to gather my thoughts. In one church, there was man named Monty, who did not respect my desire to be alone during worship. Monty was a cowboy, who had been bucked off a horse, and his mind was not quite right. He swore a lot, and told me about immoral things he did. Whenever Monty came to church, he sat next to me, in the front row. It was a little distracting, but I think it was good for me, because it reminded me that God’s grace is for people like Monty.**
There is an old saying, which says, “The ground is level at the foot of the cross.” None of us deserves God’s grace, and none of us deserves to be saved. If we have always been “near” to God and his grace, never “far away,” it is hard for us to recognize how unworthy we are. Only by “the blood of Christ” are we able to come near to God.
Grace humbles us. We are not better than the person who is far from Christ, whose sins are obvious and disgraceful. We are not better than the person who struggles with pride, anger, or self-centeredness. As Paul says earlier in the chapter,
Ephesians 2:3-5 …Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
Still, we can recognize that some people have a harder time in a group like the church, because of their personalities and personal issues. Some group leaders are training to handle “EGR” people—Extra Grace Required people—who tend to monopolize the discussion or poison the atmosphere. People like that make the group dynamics more difficult, but they can also remind people that grace is the foundation of our fellowship.
When we understand that we become God’s people by grace, we can have the privilege of being God’s agents, to bring grace to all who need it: close to us, and not so close.
2. Find a common identity in Christ
For Jews, identity was by birth and culture, and by observing laws and regulations about eating, holidays, uncleanness, etc. For gentiles, Greek culture and gods, along with social customs, provided identity.
Jesus provided a new source of identity. Read Ephesians 2:14-18. Notice how, in Christ, there is “one new man…one body…access to the Father by one Spirit.”
Cultural identity does not disappear when a person accepts Christ, but it is superseded by a greater identity.
***A Korean exchange student lived with us for three years. One time, near the end of his high school years, he shocked us by saying, “I hate all Japanese people.” As Americans, we were ignorant of the long history between Korea and Japan, and especially the Japanese oppression of Korea. (Japan occupied Korea in the sixteenth century, and also from 1910-45. The history included cruelty, kidnapping, and an effort to destroy Korean culture.) Even when he explained the history, we found it hard to understand why events before he was born would still create such a barrier of cultural identity, extending even to personal relationships.
Then our Korean “son” went off to college, and he told us that he had a girlfriend. I think they shared a common identity in Christ, and they were getting to know each other. Imagine our shock when he casually mentioned that she was Japanese! Their common identity overcame their cultural identity.**
We have a common identity in Christ. Does that mean we must all be best friends? No, but it does mean that if we have to sit on opposite sides of the room when we go to church, we have a problem that Christ can solve. Christ is our peace, and Christ unifies us and gives us a shared identity.
Our goal is to bring people together—people who don’t naturally come together.
For many of us, church is like a family; we have lived together, so sharing in family life comes naturally. In a healthy, growing church, people are continually welcomed into the family.
A growing church is more like a “blended family,” where two groups of children come together, when the parents marry. I once went to a seminar on blended families, and one piece of advice that stuck with me was that blended families come together when they do things together.
The same is true in the church: When people work side by side, and enjoy life together, they have things in common, and they naturally make connections. People who had nothing in common will then have memories of working together to serve their community, going to a game together, or singing together around the campfire. They will have things to talk about, because they share common memories and achievements.
3. Affirm the value of the people God has called to his church.
If a church functions as a social club, it is easy for those who are “in” to be a closed group. When we are in a group that is large enough to meet our needs, and small enough to be comfortable, we might not feel a need to make the group larger.
Even if we want to include other people in our circle, we are naturally drawn to people like us, or maybe a little more attractive than us, because they can raise the status of our group. It sounds a little like middle school, but it is human nature to value people who have something to offer.
The church of Jesus Christ is not a social club! Read Ephesians 2:19-22.
The church is God’s household, God’s building. He built the foundation long before we were born, beginning in the Old Testament, and continuing with the apostles. God has been building his church for centuries, and he continues to build it. Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of the building, and the Holy Spirit lives in it. The church does not belong to us, and we do not get to decide who should be part of it.
Early Christians understood that God brought people into the church whom they would not have included otherwise. Philip went to the half-breed Samaritans, and they received the gift of the Holy Spirit. Peter had a vision of going to unclean gentile “dogs,” and he not only went to Cornelius’ house, but he preached the gospel, and stayed at his house. Jews ate with gentiles, and rich people let dinner get cold until slaves got off work, so they could eat together.
God’s household is bigger than the local church. When there was famine in Judea, gentile believers sent contributions to Jewish Christians. Although they were very different culturally, they were all one in Christ.
Today is World Communion Sunday, when we celebrate the diversity and breadth of God’s church, God’s household, God’s building. We remember today that God’s church is enriched by people of many races, cultures, and perspectives.
***I was recently at a meeting of Words of Hope, where I met a key leader in the Anglican Church of Uganda. His denomination has 12 million members! Their worship, their worldview, and their struggles are half a world away from mine. Yet it is evident that God is building his church there, and that his Spirit is in them. **
Closer to home, God’s vision for his church is a church of all ages, all races, many cultures, different viewpoints, and diverse communities. His vision is that we will be united in prayer, in mutual support, and in sharing our perspectives. His vision is also that, when possible, diverse groups of people learn to know and love each other.
(Preacher: a local example here?)
Christ also has a vision for our church. It includes close groups (plural) of friends, who share life together, and are seeking to include others. For structured groups, there is the open chair, as a reminder that God might bring others into the circle. Even standing around in a circle of 3 or 4 after church, if you can open up the circle (demonstrate) to allow another to easily step into the circle, you are fulfilling Christ’s vision for his church.
When we gather to discuss the Bible or issues, our goal should be to hear other perspectives. We want to value the perspectives of other generations, other cultures, and other ways of looking at life.
In our church life, we want to welcome people who are questioning or seeking faith, or those who are hurting, or those who are rough around edges. Jesus made room for people like that, and he rejoiced as they came to him.
Pray that God will bring into our fellowship many who have not yet found place in God’s church, or who feel disconnected. There is a place for them in God’s household, and we may be the ones to welcome them home.
