Jesus Speaks Of The Essence Of His Love
JOHN 13:34-35 " A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all [men] know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."
The essential nature of a child of God and a follower of Jesus Christ is love. This is the essence of the statement made here by our Savior on that momentous night before His crucifixion. He had just shown His disciples what love really means. How love involves a servant spirit that condescends first of all to the needs of others. He had not only given a submissive and practical illustration of how such love could be placed into action, but in doing so He had taught Peter and the others a parallel lesson on loving forgiveness.
Jesus' expression of the essence of Godly love was part of His living out and fulfilling the demands and requirements of the law. Here we see the Great Commandment fleshed out. (Matt. 5:43-48) This example also serves as a living illustration of the first fruit of the Spirit. Although every fruit is related to, and in one sense interdependent upon the other, without this love there can be no other real spiritual fruit.
Yes, the true essence of Christ-like love could be characterized as the expression of a submissive servant spirit. As someone has said, "Real Christ-like submission involves a total committal to first meet the needs of another." This principle could and should be applied to all church, family and societal relationships. Especially to relationships within the human family and the family of God. To illustrate this point, Ted Engstrom tells the following story:
It seemed Joe had just about had it with his wife of three years. He no longer thought of her as attractive or interesting; he considered her to be a poor housekeeper who was overweight, someone he no longer wanted to live with. Joe was so upset that he finally decided on divorce. But before he served her the papers, he made an appointment with a psychologist with the specific purpose of finding out how to make life as difficult as possible for his wife.
The psychologist listed to Joe's story and then gave this advice, "Well, Joe, I think I've got the perfect solution for you. Starting tonight when you get home, I want you to start treating your wife as if she were a goddess. That's right, a goddess. I want you to change your attitude toward her 180 degrees. Start doing everything in your power to please her. Listen intently when she talks about her problems, help around the house, take her out to dinner on weekends. I want you to literally pretend that she is a goddess. Then, after two months of this wonderful behavior, just pack your bags and leave her. The should get her!
Joe thought that it was a tremendous idea. That night he started treating his wife as if she were a goddess. He couldn't wait to do things for her. He brought her breakfast in bed and had flowers delivered to her for no apparent reason. Within three weeks the two of them had gone on two romantic weekend vacations. They read books to each other at night, and Joe listened to her as never before. It was incredible what Joe was doing for his wife. He kept it up for the full two months. After the allotted time, the psychologist gave Joe a call at work.
"Joe," he asked, "how's it going? Did you file for divorce? Are you a happy bachelor once again?"
"Divorce?" asked Joe in dismay. "Are you kidding? I'm married to a goddess. I've never been happier in my life. I'd never leave my wife in a million years. In fact, I'm discovering new , wonderful things about her every single day. Divorce? Not on your life."
Our Savior's example of loving, humble service is the way we should go if we are to be happy and fulfilled in our Christian walk. Vance Havner said on this subject, "Few of us are big enough to become small enough to be used of God." Alexander Murray said, "As water seeks to fill the lowest places, so does the glory and power of God seek to fill those who are found empty of self and humble before God."
The term, "significant others," has become a popular and well known concept in the pop psychologist's vocabulary. Of course, we can understand the positive implication of the concept as it relates to family and friends. But it is obvious that the Great Commandment and the New Commandment is God's way of telling us that everyone around us is a significant other. But some are perhaps more significant than others because of their place, proximity and position in our lives. Jesus and the New Testament writers, by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, repeatedly used the term, "one another," to emphasize this concept and responsibility. (See I John 4:11, 23, 11-12, II John 5, I Pet. 1:22, Ro. 13:8, James 4:11)
The New Commandment focuses upon this one important aspect of true Christ-like love. The phrase, "love one another," is the distilled essence of it all. A great deal of New Testament teaching is devoted to this powerful, but practical theme. Jesus repeated this concept again and again. The apostles also emphasized how true followers of Jesus were to treat one another. The way we treat one another should distill the essence and display the fragrance of a Christ-like love.
REAL DISCIPLES WILL LOVE ONE ANOTHER. A Christ-like love is pure and passionate. Peter exhorts believers to love one another fervently and with a pure heart. "Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, [see that ye] love one another with a pure heart fervently:' (I Pet. 1:22) A pure and passionate Christ-like love prohibits placing petty self-interest as a priority in our relationships with one another. Such love emanates and flows from the cross of Christ. Such passionate and pure love must be focused upon the passion of Christ. If we are not crucified with Him we cannot lay claim to it. We must nail our puny pitiful selves to His cross and take up His cross and follow Him. We must love one another unconditionally, with no strings attached. We must love the unlovely and unlovable; warts and all.
In our weak human frame we tend to place conditions upon and tie strings to our professed love for one another. How often do pastors and counselors hear the common refrain from husbands and wives, "I would do such and such if only he (or she) would .... If, only, if only..." But the pure and passionate love of Christ is not qualified by if, ands or buts. Husbands are commanded to love their wives. The command is not optional or negotiable. Wives are commanded to lovingly submit to their husbands in the Lord. The command is not optional nor negotiable. A pure and passionate Christ-like love precludes any qualification or modification by personal priorities, preferences or the performance of others.
Such a pure and passionate love for one another cannot be consciously conjured up or counterfeited. It flows from the fact that we love Him because he first loved us. It is the basis of all Christ-like relationships among believers. It is the basis of our real fellowship. It can better be experienced than understood and expressed.
The following old story illustrates this:
"A simple farmer was visiting London for the first time and wandered into the Art Gallery to look around. Presently he stood before a beautiful painting of Jesus hanging on the Cross. He was transfixed; not by the artist's skill alone, but most of all by the picture of the Savior. As he gazed upon the picture, he became oblivious to all about him. As though he were the only one in the room, he finally cried out with tears in his eyes, "Bless the Lord! Oh, how I love Him, how I love Him."
Others in the gallery heard him; and seeing the tears, as he stood hat in hand before the picture, they were touched also. Presently a stranger stepped up and said, "I love Him too." And then another grabbed the farmer's hand and said, "And I love Him too." A third one came, and a fourth, and still another until before the picture stood a little knot of men in "fellowship" with one another, perfect strangers but brought together by their love for Christ. And the lonely farmer found fellowship in the heart of a great bewildering city, because he had given expression to His love for Jesus...."
Such Christ-like love is positive, promoting and gives preference to one another. "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only [use] not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another." (Gal. 5:13) Even though it goes against the grain and our fleshly nature to do so, our primary calling is not self-promotion but the preference and promotion of one another. In Paul's repetition of the principles laid down in
the beatitudes of Jesus, he tells is that true Christian love gives preference to one another. "Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;" (Ro. 12:10)
We all have heard that the middle letter of sin and pride is really our problem. We all like to be patted upon the back and have our egos stroked. To be promoted over others appeals to our need for a positive self-image and personal self-fulfillment. But this need becomes distorted when it becomes self-indulgent and requires us to promote ourselves at the expense of one another.
A very small illustration of what is required happened to a grandfather I know recently. He took his granddaughter out fishing for the first time. He baited up the hook and threw it out and as soon as the float touched the water it just kept on going. Obviously, there was a good-sized fish involved. The temptation to set the hook and catch the fish was overwhelming. But he placed the rod in the hand of the child instead. As he watched and encouraged her as she caught her first large fish, the excitement in her eyes was reward enough for any imagined sacrifice he might have made. Her joy and pride in successfully landing the fish, far exceeded any momentary thrill that self-indulgence might have brought.
Such Christ-like love is not prideful or provoking. "Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, ..." (James 4:11) " Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another." (Gal. 5:26) If we say we love one another and then speak evil of one other, we are lying and the truth is not in us. In Paul's great love chapter he tells us that real Christ-like love does not even think evil of another brother, much less speak evil of him. He goes on to say that such love does not rejoice in evil tidings or bad news about another, or when a catastrophe or calamity occurs in another Christian's live.
Those of us who have been involved in ministry for any length of time know that some of the most hurtful and harmful wounds inflicted upon members of the Body of Christ sometimes come from those who say they love their brother. Is this not shameful and disgraceful? Is it any wonder it has often been said that with such professing, loving friends, who needs enemies? Paul even equates such evil conduct to devouring and destroying one another. " But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another." (Gal. 5:15) Devour in this context implies an exploitation of and preying upon another human being. How could one who loves like Christ be involved in such ungodly activity? It should not be so among us; if we really love one another!
Such Christ-like love sometimes requires paying a personal price. We know that the love God and His Son had for us required the ultimate price. Salvation may be free, but it certainly did not come cheaply. We speak of a soldier's sacrificial love for his country, We speak of a mother's giving love for her child. We speak of a brother laying down his life for a friend. All these familiar images reflect the fact that the real price to be paid is attached to true love.
Paul indicated that if we love one another we must be prepared to even pay a more practical price at times. "Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather [suffer yourselves to] be defrauded?" (I Cor. 6:7) This principle is difficult and runs counter to every priority of the world and its crowd. In our materialistic, acquisitive, consumer society, the mere thought of such humble condescension is not to be entertained. But is not the principle just as valid today? Is there any cultural caveat attached? I do not think so. Christ-like love does sometimes require paying a tremendous personal price. Perhaps God gave us the story of Hosea to illustrate a similar principle as well.
REAL DISCIPLES WILL SERVE ON ANOTHER. As already indicated, a servant spirit is the primary expression of real Christian love. Jesus made that clear on the occasion He gave us the New Commandment. "For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him." (John 13:15-16)
Such service involves first of all really caring for one another. "That there should be no schism in the body; but [that] the members should have the same care one for another." (I Cor. 12:25) The context of this statement to the local church, the Body of Christ, at Corinth, tells us that our care for one another should not be governed by personal preferences or prejudices. That no matter how lowly or insignificant a person might appear to be in the eyes of society or the world; that we are to have the same love and exercise the same care for that person. Race, color, economic status or social position can play no part in true Christian caring and love. The paraphrase of the words of the old children's chorus should say it all, "Red, yellow, black or white, Jesus loves them all alike, Jesus loves the little children of the world." It is said that true loving submission and caring always involves the concept of meeting the real needs of another person.
This is not always easy. But the attempt to really love through caring should never be influenced by any personal preference or prejudice. An experience that is all too common illustrates this. A person of an obviously lower economic and social status rang our church desiring a cash handout. Even though all the indicators mitigated against this being a case of genuine need rather than a professional indulging in a pattern of personal greed, we responded by providing a significant amount of basic food items. Subsequent information and dealings confirmed our first suspicion. But we initially tried to lovingly respond in a caring way; giving, no strings attached, in the our Savior's name. But such loving caring does not require or permit us to be poor stewards with the material things God has given us.
Lovingly serving one another requires exhorting one another. The writer of Hebrews said this in two places, "But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin." (Heb. 3:13) "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." (Heb. 10:25) Another understanding of the word exhort, is to encourage. In the culture of the last days the need for such exhortation and encouragement is all around us. It is obvious that Christ-like love cannot omit this responsibility, even if loving exhortation is sometimes rejected and loving encouragement is sometimes difficult to give.
If we try, we can always find something good and encouraging to say about most anyone. The story is told of a funeral being conducted for a man who had a reputation in the country community of being a lazy layabout. While the funeral was being conducted, the community wags gathered under the generous shade of a large tree; discussing the merits of the man. As they sat on the roots of the tree, whittling, chewing and expectorating, one of them thought long and hard and then came up with this timely and encouraging observation, "Well, he was a good whittler." Of course, you would have to have come from such a cultural background to fully understand the story. But it is so true that if we cannot say something good and encouraging about a person it is often best to say nothing at all.
Lovingly serving one another calls for forgiveness and kindness, rather than revenge and retribution. Paul said, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you." (Eph. 4:30)
Again, this goes against the grain of human nature. We always want to even the score and the sooner the better. But we are new creatures in Christ and have a new nature. Jesus told us that the world recognizes and identifies our new nature by how we respond in such situations.
Why does the Christian quite often need to exercise these graces? Because it is not unusual for a person who is trying to serve the Lord to be attacked and attract criticism for his sincere efforts. What should his response be? I have always remembered an illustration given by Dr. Paul Goodwin in one of his Seminary classes. He asked the young pastors to be if they had ever seen a really large dog walk down the street? Quite often he attracts the attention of every small dog in the neighborhood. They sneak out as close to the street as they dare and stand and bark at him; ready to beat a rapid retreat to the safety of the rear of the house if necessary. But the really regal big dog will trot on down the street, head held high, ignoring the barking of the small mutts.
REAL DISCIPLES WILL EDIFY AND ELEVATE EACH OTHER. " Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do." (I Thess. 5:11) "Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another." (Ro. 14:19) This requires building up rather than tearing down.
This requires complimentary commendation rather than complaining condemnation. "Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door." (James 5:9) It is obviously the will of God that His children not indulge in grumbling and murmuring against one another. If we wish to know the historic seriousness of God's judgment of such an attitude and activity, we but have to look at how He dealt with those who were grumbling and complaining against Moses in the wilderness. He evidently deemed such murmuring and sighing as being directed against Him and severely judged the grumblers accordingly. Such grumbling and complaining against one another in the Body of Christ is also a serious thing. Nothing has wrecked more reputations, broken up more friendships, ruined more churches or killed more preachers than this spirit of grumbling and judging. James reminds us that the Judge is standing at the door of the church so to speak. There's an old story about Wesley that clearly drives home this point.
John Wesley was once preaching. He was wearing a bow tie with two long ends hanging down. A dear sister in the meeting saw nothing but the tie and never heard a word that Wesley preached. When the service was ended, she went to him and said piously, "Brother Wesley, will you permit a little criticism? Your bow tie is entirely too long and is an evidence of worldliness to me." Wesley said, "Have you a pair of scissors?" Receiving the shears he gave them back to her and said, "Now trim them down to suit yourself." She reached over and clipped off the streamers and said, "Now that is much better." The Wesley replied, "Do you mind letting me have those scissors? Please stick out your tongue. It is entirely too long and is an offense to me. Stick it out while I cut it down to size!"
The kind of love that will edify and elevate insists upon honesty, integrity and truthfulness. "But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, [even] Christ:" (Eph. 4:15) "Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another." (Eph. 4:25)
Pastor Euell White wrote this, "Notice the emphasis upon lying. He said to put away lying. There are many ways that we lie to one another. We should be able to speak truth to one another without attacking one another. I believe the tendency in the church is to either lie to one another by failing to say to each other what needs to be said, or to speak the truth in a way that condemns and tears down instead of encouraging a brother or sister. The command to speak the truth in love, is not a license to confront everyone for their faults, either real or imagined. This command doesn't give you the authority to say, 'I love you but . . ." and then unload all of your feelings onto another brother or sister."
The need for honesty, integrity and truth is illustrated by this old story:
"A baker living in a small town made it a habit to buy his butter from a certain farmer. One day he became suspicious that the butter was not of the same weight as it had been at first. He concluded that the packets were gradually diminishing in size. This angered the baker so that he had the farmer arrested. "I presume you have weights," said the judge. "No sir," replied the farmer. "How then do manage to weigh the butter that you sell." "That's easy," said the farmer, "When the baker commenced to buying butter from me, it was agreed he would partially pay me in one pound loaves of bread. I use one of his loaves as my weight standard."
In summation, the essence of our Savior's love would be seen by His followers in the hours ahead as he laid down His life and poured out His soul upon the cross in order that our sins might be eternally forgiven and we might be called the eternal sons and daughters of God. We today are to love and serve Him because He first loved us. We do so by truly loving and serving each other. By this all men know that we are truly His disciples.
