The Taming of the Tongue
James 3:3-12
Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh.
In 1590 or 1592 no one is sure exactly the year, William Shakespeare wrote and produced a play called The Taming of the Shrew. In this play, a head strong and independent woman named Kate is married off to a visitor in town named Petruchio by the suitors of her more desirable sister Bianca, because Bianca cannot be wed until Kate is married. After a long and difficult time in which he tried many types of techniques are used, Petruchio does tame the shrew Kate and she becomes a proper wife (at least proper for 1590’s England).
In the reading today, James warns us of the dangers of the tongue. He called it both a fire and a world of iniquity, wickedness, evil. He also said the tongue defiles, or corrupts, the entire body. We should remember in Matthew 15:11 that Jesus taught us it is not what goes into the mouth of a person that defiles them but what comes out of their mouth that defiles them. And one of the best and well known things that come out of the mouth of a person is words.
Our words define and guide us. If we talk in an unintelligent manner, people will see us as unintelligent. If we talk like a gang member, people will believe we are thugs. If we speak with a knowledgeable tone, people will believe we have understanding of what we’re talking about. If you spend your time talking down to people, all you will see is the bad in others. If you talk about the good in others and in the situations you’re in, you be seen as a positive and joyful person. Unfortunately, words can also be used to hurt others.
Many children when taunted by others will say “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”. But for all of their bravado, the names do hurt because words hurt. We can be hit, pushed, slapped or be subject to any other physical abuse and usually we can get over it in time. The pain we feel from a slap is usually gone before the redness fades. But the hurt we feel from words may never fade. I have known people who still hurt from a name they were called forty and fifty years later. I saw a TV show where a daughter talked about a name her father called her (in jest) some fifteen years earlier. The father didn’t even remember the incident and said “After all the compliments I have given you and all the times I called you ‘beautiful’, why would you remember that?” The daughter replied, “Because that’s the only one that hurt.”
We don’t get over the emotional and psychological hurts as easy or as completely as we do our physical hurts. Because of our untamed tongue, we wound and injure the people around us, our neighbors. We are called to love our neighbors as ourselves, and yet how many of the insults that we throw at others would we gladly throw at us? How much of the disrespect and slights that we send to others would we want others to send to us?
The Apostle told us that we put bits in the mouths of horses and with that small bit we control the whole animal. Ships are controlled by a relatively small rudder. This can really be seen in the greater sized modern ships. Even if the ship is tossed about by wind and waves, the ship can be controlled by the helmsman. James then makes the comparison; the tongue is very small in comparison to the whole body but like a horse’s bit or ship’s rudder, it can move the entire person, and if we’re not careful, we can be moved into areas we did not intend to go.
James called out again stating “Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!” We all know that a small spark or a carelessly thrown match can cause a fire that burns many square miles of forest. And the tongue is also a fire with a similar destructive power! With a small spark, just a word or two, the fire we can produce will burn for many years and cause much destruction. The tongue has the capability to not only build, but to use words to devastate.
Words will somehow take on a life of their own. Words spoken between two people will be heard by another, then another, then another. I was told a story of a pastor and one member of this pastor’s congregation had heard a rumor or suspected the pastor of doing wrong. This person kept bad mouthing the pastor and telling everyone of the suspected wrong the pastor had done. The congregation member was shown what they believed was wrong and asked for forgiveness from the pastor, which was given, but the member still wanted to do something to correct the situation, to make things right. The pastor told the person to take some feathers and put one in each of the doorways on the block. The person did what was asked, not understanding why the pastor made the request. When the person asked what to do next, the pastor told the person to go and gather all the feathers up. The day was windy and most, if not all, of the feathers were gone, and the person said so and said “I cannot get them all”. The pastor then replied “No, you can’t.”
Twenty to thirty years ago bad mouthing people caused plenty of pain and damage, but in today’s age of electronic and instant media, these words of hate and anger can be spread worldwide! If there was no way to gather all the words we said when it was just word of mouth spreading them, how much harder is it now? We might post something on Facebook and delete it a minute later, but how much of a life will it get? How many people will see it, and how many times will it get reposted?
James then said we bless God and with the same tongue curse men; and this should not be. God thinks so much of His people that to save us from the sins we commit, the Second Person of the Holy Trinity came to us and removed our sins, claimed our sins as His own and stood in our place as the righteous and holy punishment was poured out on Him. Jesus suffered both death and hell, our just punishment so that we wouldn’t have to suffer. With this selfless act of love, this enormous outpouring of mercy, our relationship with God has been restored and we have been forgiven of our sins. God has reclaimed His creation and we are His children again.
But even though we know God has called us a royal people, a holy nation, we still we will use our tongue in an unholy and common manner. We will look at our neighbor and watch their actions and listen to them talk and use words to describe them like; stupid, idiot, moron, jerk, jackass, dummy, geek, dweeb, among a host of others. How can we, as faithful followers of God, curse and condemn those which God has declared holy? Let’s say that we condemn those who do not believe in God or have received His forgiveness, Jesus still died for them, and are still special in God’s eyes. But even though we know we shouldn’t, our sinful nature still gets us to look at our neighbor with contempt and scorn. We don’t see the forgiven sinner before us, we just see someone who is beneath our contempt.
God has commanded us to not bear false witness against our neighbor, but what if what we say is not false? The person we are calling an idiot might really be an idiot! In situations like this we have to remember God has also told us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and this with the commandment means we should not do or say anything that might tear down, embarrass, or degrade our neighbor. If we love our neighbor as ourselves, would we want to have said about us what we are about to say against our neighbor? More than likely we would not. All we have to remember is what our mother has taught; if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.
James has said the tongue is an unruly evil and full of poison. Can we, like Petruchio of the play The Taming of the Shrew, tame our tongue like he did his wife Kate? According to James the tongue is untamable; and he is probably correct. For when our hearts and minds give into sin, it is the tongue that is first into action. Our hands and feet will respond only when we think about it, but the tongue seems to take action before we think about it. The tongue is too wild to accept the bit, it is not like the beasts of the earth that we can tame. But we can do our best to keep it on a leash. We can hold our tongue until we had have time to think about what we want to say, or to not say anything at all.
The tongue is an unruly beast that has gotten many people into embarrassing situations and in some form or trouble. It carries out our desires to hurt people with a cruel accuracy and most times with our deepest regrets. The words we say cannot be taken back and most times our apologies do not erase the pain we have caused. But more than this, the disrespect and wounds we cause to our God is even more devastating. God has thought enough of all people to save them so He can declare them holy and His children. This action alone should compel and guide us with our quest in the taming of the tongue. Amen.
