2 Corinthians 1:3-11
DEFINITIONS: (WEBSTER’S)
GRIEF - The pain of mind produced by loss, misfortune, injury or evils of any kind; sorrow; regret. We experience grief when we lose a friend, when we incur loss, when we consider ourselves injured, and by sympathy, we feel grief at the misfortunes of others.
SOR’ROW - The uneasiness or pain of mind which is produced by the loss of any good or of frustrated hopes of good, or expected loss of happiness; to grieve; to be sad.
INTRODUCTION
• Tell Richie’s Story
• Grief and the “Spirit of Grief” are not the same. - Explain
• Grief helps you, the “Spirit of Grief” incapacitates you.
• Preach a quick exposition of the text
• Loss brings grief. Some losses that cause grief are (the death of a loved one, loss of a job or standard of living, loss of health, loss of a limb, divorce, abandonment by family, betrayal, desertion, bankruptcy, foreclosure and/or repossessions, etc)
I. BIBLICAL EXAMPLES OF GRIEF
A. Joseph grieved when his father died. Genesis 50:1-3
1. Joseph fell on his father’s face and kissed him.
2. They spent 40 days in the embalming process.
3. Joseph and the Egyptians mourned Jacob for a total of 70 days.
B. Jesus grieved.
1. Jesus grieved over His friend Lazarus in the shortest verse of the Bible. John 11:35 says, “Jesus wept.”
2. Jesus wept over Jerusalem - Luke 13:34 - O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, which killest the prophets, and stonest them that are sent unto thee; how often would I have gathered thy children together, as a hen doth gather her brood under her wings, and ye would not!
II. 5 STAGES OF GRIEF
• There can be more than five stages of grief and they do not all function chronologically.
• The Elisabeth Kübler-Ross model, along with CS Lewis’s musings on these five stages of grief.
A. Denial: Most of the time a persons first reaction to a loss is a refusal to believe that what has happened really happened. This is natural. I think God designed us this way to buffer the pain a little so we can begin to recover. Some go into momentary shock!
1. CS Lewis - No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.
2. Proverbs 17:17 - “A friend loves at all times…” - During the denial phase we can physically feel the reality of this passage.
B. Anger: Anger is a natural, emotional reaction for someone dealing with loss. Everyone processes differently. God’s Word gives us instruction concerning anger.
1. CS Lewis describes - Go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.
2. Ephesians 4:26 - “Be angry and sin not…” (God’s Word doesn’t tell us to not be angry… It says don’t sin when we are angry.)
C. Bargaining: There is a natural tendency for us to try and bargain with God. We know better but we do it anyway. There are just some things that happen in life that we don’t have the answer for. We need to resist the temptation to blame God and trust Him instead. Trusting Him also means trusting the process…
1. CS Lewis - I have gradually been coming to feel that the door is no longer shut and bolted. Was it my own frantic need that slammed it in my face? The time when there is nothing at all in your soul except a cry for help may be just the time when God can’t give it: you are like the drowning man who can’t be helped because he clutches and grabs. Perhaps your own reiterated cries deafen you to the voice you hoped to hear.
2. 1 Peter 5:6-7 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
D. Depression: Depression and feelings of despair are very real. When the reality of the loss sets in, many times depression will follow. There will be a numbness. Simple tasks will seem large. You’ll be to exhausted to fight because fighting takes to much energy and who cares anyway? You will be tempted to withdraw because (no one will understand). Its important to remember… Don’t try to go it alone!
1. CS Lewis - Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not ‘So there’s no God after all,’ but ‘So this is what God’s really like.
2. Hebrews 4:16 Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.
a) Jesus wants to help you through depression…
E. Acceptance: The signs of acceptance are never marked by a person “moving on.” Your life will forever be marked by this loss but it doesn’t have to hinder you from successfully moving forward! We call this “Adjusting to a NEW NORMAL”.
1. CS Lewis - Getting over it so soon? But the words are ambiguous. To say the patient is getting over it after an operation for appendicitis is one thing; after he’s had his leg off it is quite another.
2. God will help us… Joshua 1:1-2 Now after the death of Moses the servant of the LORD it came to pass, that the LORD spake unto Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' minister, saying, 2 Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, unto the land which I do give to them, even to the children of Israel.
a) The “New You” can be wiser, stronger, more resilient and more thankful for the simple things around you.
b) Remember the good and dismiss the bad,
c) Forgive and be whole again, and
d) Be at peace.
III. SCRIPTURES ABOUT GRIEF
A. Grief brings wisdom.
Ecclesiastes 7:4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.
B. God is near during times of grief.
Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalms 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
C. God can help us find comfort.
Matthew 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.
• Revisit the Text - 2 Corinthians 1:3-11
D. Jesus Experienced Grief.
Isaiah 53:3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
IV. JESUS CAN HEAL YOUR GRIEVING HEART
A. God uses others to help us heal. (You may ask, “Pastor, How can God use me to help others who are grieving?”)
1. In ministry training were taught this phrase, “The Ministry of Presence.” (I’ve also heard several chaplaincy trainings that use this same phrase.)
2. Don’t try to fix something that can’t be fixed… Just be there!
B. Listen and try to minister to their physical needs.
1. Do they need a glass of water or a tissue.
2. They may need help getting the dishes done or the floors swept.
3. Maybe they just need you to set and let them talk (if they feel like talking).
4. Don’t act foolish (try to tell jokes or laugh to loud etc.)
C. Pray for them and if appropriate… with them.
1. Jesus cares - Matthew 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
CLOSING:
• Remind your listeners that, “Jesus can relate.”
• Pray for those dealing with grief
