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BUILDING MATERIALS FOR A GOOD HOME
Gen. 29 - 30
From “Preaching through the Old Testament”
homeorchurchbiblestudy.com bob marcaurelle
In the land of Haran Jacob found two wives and wound up with thirteen children. He built quite a home for himself. And in this episode of love, marriage and parenting God gives us some principles by which we are to build our homes if they are to be pleasing to Him and pleasant for us.
When I built my house, the cost factor tempted me to order precut materials and build it myself. One thing stopped me - the realization that I would be stuck with and have to live with what I had built. The same is true of the home. We live with relationships we build.
Jacob’s spirit had been revived at Bethel. The lonely fugitive, running from the wrath of his brother, had been found by God. He revealed His presence, gave His pardon and issued His precious promises of protection and provision (28:10-22).
Jacob, enthused, “picked up his feet” (29:1) and headed north on his 400-mile trip. Finally he came to a beautiful pastoral scene of shepherds and their flocks by a well. Asking them if they knew his uncle Laban (his mother Rebekah’s brother), they answered, “Yes. And here comes his daughter Rachael with her sheep” (29:6).
Jacob saw this beautiful girl, coming at just the right time, to just the right place and he was overwhelmed. It was the action of God and it was love at first sight. He went over, introduced himself, rolled the heavy stone away from the well, kissed her and then began to weep for joy (29:9-11).
They went to Laban’s home and there Jacob offered to work seven years if he would give him the hand of Rachael in marriage. Laban agreed and the Bible beautifully records, “So Jacob served seven years for Rachael, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her” (29:20).
Finally the seven years were up. When Jacob went in to his bride during the marriage festival, and lifted the veil, there was the very homely face (29:17) of Leah. Jacob the deceiver had been deceived. He protested to Laban and they worked out a deal that for seven more years work he could have Rachael.
She became his second wife seven days after this first wedding (29:27) but still he worked for her for the next seven years. During this time six sons and a daughter were born to Leah, four sons were born to two concubines, and finally one son, Joseph, was born to Rachael.
After they returned to Canaan, Rachael gave birth to Benjamin (35:17). Thus Jacob became father to the twelve sons - the heads of the twelve tribes of Israel (Jacob’s new name). What materials for a good home do we find here?
I. THE PRESENCE OF GOD (28:10 - 29:1)
Before Jacob found his wife he found God, or was rather found by God, at Bethel. There we find two significant and valuable things. We find
1. Our Commitment To God
Jacob built an altar and pledged to tithe. Here are two ingredients of a godly home worship and stewardship. The Christian home needs worship. One pastor commented, “In twenty years of marriage counseling I have never yet had one couple come who were in the habit of praying together,”
The strong family will also WORSHIP together at the CHURCH. This means far more than warming a pew on Sunday morning. The right kind of family does not debate over church attendance. Sunday night and Wednesday night belong to God. It does not support the organizations of the church, it attends them, helps in them and is supported by them.
The strong Christian home also practices STEWARDSHIP.
This involves money but includes much more than money. Some people in these inflationary times are afraid to tithe. The best thing you can do for your family financially is to tithe. This means you are putting God in charge of your finances. You are trusting Him to provide for your needs.
This doesn’t mean you will be wealthy or sheltered from the hard knocks of life. But it does mean you can have the peace and power and purpose that come from being obedient to God.
2. God’s Commitment to Us
You see, we not only have Jacob’s commitment to God, but God’s commitment to him. What more could we ask as marriage partners and parents than Genesis 28:15, “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go. . .” We can sail through hell itself on that promise.
You cannot beat a home where Biblical Christianity is preached and practiced and where God’s presence is something genuine and powerful.
One marriage in every three now ends in divorce. Where both are actively involved in church it is one in forty! Where the husband and wife pray together it is one in two hundred and forty!
Why? It is not because we are being RELIGIOUS, it is because of what the presence of Christ means in our lives. He works IN us to make us humble, teachable, self sacrificing and loving. He works FOR us because He Himself is committed to us and our marriage. He works THROUGH us as our lives become instruments of change.
Christianity is not being nice on Sunday. It is not obedience to a few rules and rituals. It is a way of life. It is the indwelling of God in human lives that can give life and joy.
What we need is Christ in us. We can be changed. We can improve. We can do far more than we think. We need to know Christ is for us. When we drop to our knees and pray for the thousand and one problems that assault the home, we need to know He cares and wants to help.
The great need of our homes is genuine, born again, Spirit controlled, growing Christians in whom God dwells as King and through whom God works.
B. THE PROVIDENCE OF GOD (29:2-13)
In Jacob’s arrival at Haran, isn’t it amazing that at just the right time, in just the right place from just the right family, Rachael appeared. This was like the song “Some Enchanted Evening” where just the right stranger came up.
Love at first sight is a beautiful thought, but most people would be better off if they took a second look. Jacob rushed right in, however, and sealed his feelings with a kiss.
In a beautiful sermon “A Kiss and Its Consequences” Dr. John Drakeford tells of a boy named Herbert. During World War II, he and his girl were sitting with many others in the darkness of a London bomb shelter during an air raid.
When the lights came on she said, “Oh, Herbert, you shouldn’t have done it.” “Shouldn’t have done what?” said Herbert. “You shouldn’t have kissed me when the lights were out.” Angrily, Herbert said, “I didn’t kiss you. I wish I knew who did. I would teach him a thing or two.” “Oh, Herbert,” she replied, “you couldn’t teach him anything.”
Jacob’s kiss seemed to work all right because Rachael became his wife. The major truth here is that God has a partner picked out for you and you should obey Him and trust Him to lead you to him or her.
I was visiting a new church my third year in the seminary and was bored half to death. I was sitting in Sunday School listening to a boring teacher and had already made up my mind not to come back. Half way through the lesson this pretty girl walked in. The teacher said, “Come in, Mary Ann. Everybody know Mary Ann?” I said, “I don’t know Mary Ann,” and we were introduced.
I went back that night for a closer look and there she was. After the Church Training group started back to the church after a late supper Mary Ann and I were in the same car.
It rained and rained and rained. All we could do was sit there and socialize. It rained long enough for me to get up the nerve to ask her for a date. (By the way, she had vowed that she would never date a ministerial student. The last thing she wanted was a preacher for a husband.)
I asked, she said yes. And now three churches, fifty-two years, three children and six grandchildren we are still together and more important, we are still in love.
I could bore you with dozens of other factors that led to our being together but the truth is this - God hand picked us for each other and led us together at just the right place, at just the right time.
I know what some of you are saying, “I’ve missed the boat. I don’t believe God gave me my husband or wife.”
Listen, God’s will and ways are past finding out. You don’t know what God did for you, even before you were saved. God’s will always begins right now.
If you are a husband or wife, then the partner you have now is His will for you. (Except in certain rare instances.) He can clean up our messes and mistakes and make something beautiful of them.
If you are not married then ask God for the right one for you and follow Him until He leads you to them.
III. THE POWER OF LOVE (29:15-20)
Ingredient number three is the power of love. Jacob’s seven years of work seemed like seven days because he loved Rachael (29:20). Love is the main topic of modern conversation, but the fact is, few of us really know WHAT LOVE IS.. For most, it is a FEELING, based upon physical attraction, but this can never be the foundation of a successful marriage. It must be something we DO.
The Greeks used four words to define love. They used “eros” for physical love between a man and woman; “phileo” for the love between brothers and friends; “storge” for family love; and “agape” for God’s kind of sacrificial love.
A successful marriage need a COMBINATION of all four. There must be “eros” and husbands and wives should work hard to keep up their physical appearance and to court their partners.
There must be “phileo” as husbands and wives do things together, learn to enjoy one another’s company, and become friends.
There must be “storge” as the family takes precedence over everything but God.
There must be “agape” as both husband and wife put every other family member’s needs above their own.
When you analyze all this you see that love is more DOING than FEELING. Paul defines agape love in terms of patience, kindness, humility, forgiveness, etc. (1 Cor. 13). Love is something we do!
And FEELING FOLLOWS DOING. One lady could stand her husband no longer and had made up her mind to leave. A friend suggested that before she left she should treat her husband like a king. Wait on him hand and foot. Shower him with attention. Then when she left, he would really know what he was missing.
She thought it was a good idea and did it. Six months later she bumped into her friend. The friend asked, “Have you left Jim yet?” “No,” she replied, “and I’m not going to. We have never been happier.”
Her acts of love had turned into love and had brought love out of Jim. Shakespeare said it well, “They do not love who do not show their love.”
IV. THE PERSEVERANCE OF DETERMINATION
(29: 21- 30:24)
The final ingredient needed is perseverance, the determination to build a good home, no matter how hard the fight.
Problems come to every home and those who are willing to throw in the towel will do so. No greater motto could be inscribed on the door of our homes than, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”
Jacob’s home was beset with problems. He had in-law problems with Laban (29:21-27). He had a SIN problem that he was reminded of when he, the cheater was cheated (29:28-30).
He had WOMEN problems with two wives and two concubines (29:31).
He had SPIRITUAL problems. Rachael was barren. Jacob was angry. And God seemed disinterested (30:1-3). And, of course, with thirteen children, he had parental problems (29:32 - 30:24).
Forget the fantasy of a home without conflict, aggravation and the temptation to leave.
Those happy, smiling, loving families are just like you. We all face the old STAND-BY PROBLEMS of work, sex, money, in-laws and children.
We now face a whole host of new problems: the working mother, the jobless father, the influence of television, the new morality, the threat of drugs, and a growing disillusionment with the institution of marriage itself.
What is the ANSWER? Jacob tells us in verse 40, “. . .by day the heat consumed me, and the cold by night, and my sleep fled from my eyes. These twenty years . . .I have served you” )31:40-41).
We must be willing to WORK hard and FIGHT hard for our home. I tell young couples there are three things that will keep them together and help them build a holy, happy home.
Number one is a COMMITMENT TO CHRIST. He alone can make them what they ought to be.
Number two is a COMMITMENT TO CHURCH. This puts spiritual teeth into our commitment. It gives us the added strength of Christian friends and the influence of Christian values and principles.
Number three is a COMMITMENT TO MARRIAGE. We must put divorce out of our minds as the last possible option. Those who say, “We will get a divorce if it doesn’t work out,” are beaten before they begin.
A little boy who lived in a trailer was teased by his schoolmates. They said, “You don’t even have a home.” “Yes, I do,” he said, “we just don’t have a house to put it in.”
Some of you have a beautiful HOUSE, but is it a beautiful HOME and family? That’s what really counts. A house is brick and mortar and wood and steel. A home is love, kindness, security, etc.
Make your home beautiful by furnishing it with the abiding presence of God; with the power of a love that displays itself and with a bulldog perseverance that fights to the end.
