MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
TEXT: Matthew 18:15-35; Psalm 27:1
A. I believe that most of us, at one time or another, have had someone that we have fallen out with. There have been times when we have been so filled with anger that we felt we would never be able to forgive & forget.
Maybe it was a brother or sister, a parent, someone at school, a business partner, a neighbor, or simply an acquaintance.
ILL. Robert Louis Stevenson, in one of his books, tells of two sisters who never married, living together in the same house, but who came to a falling out & decided never to speak to each other again.
So with a piece of chalk they divided up every area of their house. With a piece of chalk they drew a line across the sofa. They drew a chalk line right through the middle of the kitchen, & even the doorways were divided.
The two women lived the rest of their lives imprisoned in bitterness. They refused even to acknowledge each other's presence. With a piece of chalk they marked each other completely out of their lives.
B. People are still drawing chalk lines. Perhaps we don't see them, but they are there. Words are carelessly spoken. A deed offends. Something real or imagined happens, & the result is, "I don't want anything more to do with you. You're not my friend. I'm drawing the lines. This is my side. That is your side."
This happens in every area of relationships, marriage, family, jobs, associations. Something happens, & lines are drawn.
In Matthew 18:15 (KJV) Jesus says, "...if your brother trespasses against you..." "Trespass" means "to come across." In other words, "You are on my side of the chalk line. You have infringed upon my rights. This is my private territory, & you have come too far."
But Jesus says that His followers are supposed to act differently than that. We are supposed to try to get rid of barriers & chalk lines.
And if we don't handle bitterness & hostility differently than the way the world handles them, then we have not learned what it means to be a Christian.
ILL. Charles Swindoll wrote, "As a Christian, I give up my privilege of hurting you because you hurt me. I give up my privilege of retaliating, of seeking revenge. I give up my privilege of nursing a grudge.
“It's true. You really did hurt me. I'm not imagining it. But because I'm a Christian I give up my privilege of hurting you in return."
With this in mind, let's look at what Jesus says about forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-35. Listen as I read:
(PP - PETER) "Then Peter came to Jesus & asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to 7 times?’
(PP - JESUS & CROWD) "Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not 7 times, but 77 times.’ Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
(PP - KING, GUARD, SERVANT) "As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 talents (That's several million dollars today!) was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he & his wife & his children & all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
(PP - KING, SERVANT) "The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘& I will pay back everything.’
(PP - KING, JOYFUL SERVANT) "The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt & let him go.
(PP - 2 SERVANTS) "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100 denarii. (That's just a few hundred dollars today.)
(PP - SERVANT BEGGING) "He grabbed him & began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees & begged him, ‘Be patient with me, & I will pay you back.’
(PP - SERVANT IN JAIL) "But he refused. Instead, he went off & had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
(PP - SERVANTS TELLING KING) "When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed & went & told their master everything that had happened.
(PP - KING CONFRONTING SERVANT) "Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
(PP - SOLDIERS TAKING SERVANT) “In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed."
(PP - JESUS) Then Jesus says, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."
PROP. Now let's go back & look at that scripture, & as we do, we should see at least three things that Jesus wants us to learn.
I. GOD EXPECTS US TO FORGIVE OTHERS EVEN AS HE HAS FORGIVEN US
First of all, Jesus says that God expects us to forgive others even as God has forgiven us.
ILL. In a certain business hangs a sign that proclaims, "To err is human, but to forgive is not our policy."
But God does forgive, & He expects us to learn to forgive even as we have been forgiven.
I don't know how many times I have had to ask for forgiveness, or that I have been forgiven. But there is nothing that will help more than having the burden of bitterness being lifted. As someone said, "To forgive is to live."
II. FAILING TO FORGIVE BLOCKS THE FLOW OF GOD'S BLESSINGS
Secondly, Jesus teaches us, "Failing to forgive blocks the flow of God's blessings." As Jesus said, "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." (Matthew 18:35)
A. When we have an attitude of bitterness & a spirit of retaliation, this attitude becomes an obstacle to the grace of God so that it just can't flow through our hearts.
God wants to work through you & me. At times we have said, "I just felt led to do this." Why? Because we are the body of Christ, & He does seek to work through us.
ILL. There is an old story about a woman who was bitten by a dog & didn't realize that the dog had rabies. When she finally did go to the doctor he told her that it was too late & advised her to put her final affairs in order.
So the woman took pen & paper & began writing. In fact, she wrote & wrote & wrote. Finally, the doctor said, "That surely is a long will you're making." She snorted, "Will, nothing! I'm making a list of all the people I'm going to bite!"
B. When we're unforgiving & bitter, there are 3 obvious results.
1. The first result is often hatred. You may start out disliking a person, but then it grows. Have you ever exchanged harsh or bitter words with someone? Or ever had someone deliberately lie about you? Or gone through a bitter divorce, or a child-custody battle?
But let me ask you - have you ever known a happy hater? Have you ever known anybody who says, "I hate, & I'm happy about it?"
ILL. Edwin Markham was one of the finest poets who ever lived. But he had a terrible experience. He had saved his money, invested it, & when it came time to retire, someone had embezzled it all.
He became very bitter about that. Markham said that he struggled with hatred & resentment. It was an old friend who had betrayed him. Bitterness kidnapped his thoughts, consumed his being, & just took over his life. He kept thinking, "I'm in my 60's, & I'm broke."
One day Markham tried to write poetry again, just to make a living, to put some food on the table. But he couldn't seem to write, so he doodled. He drew circles over & over again, big circles & little circles.
As he did, he kept repeating, "I must forgive. I can't even write. I hate this man so much that it is destroying my life. I must forgive him."
Finally, he poured out all his resentment to God & asked God to cleanse his heart & give him a capacity to forgive that man.
God did, & Markham said that it felt as though the heavens opened & a flood came & washed his soul clean of all his hatred. Then when he tried writing again, he saw those circles.
Thus he wrote his most famous lines, "He drew a circle to shut me out, rebel, heretic, a thing to flout. But love & I had the wit to win. We drew a circle that took him in."
From that time on, Edwin Markham began to write his greatest poetry. Recognition & wealth came again in the evening years of his life. Why? Because the obstacles were removed. The barriers were gone. The hatred was no more.
2. The second result of an unforgiving attitude is worry.
When we're unforgiving, & God is not leading, we face the future with fear instead of faith because things just aren't right in our lives.
ILL. In a book by Barry Woods, he tells about spending 2 weeks in the Socialist Republic of Rumania back when the Communists were in power. He was traveling with a Rumanian Christian preacher, & everywhere they went, the secret police were trailing them.
Finally, he asked the minister, "How do you sleep at night? How do you get any work done? Aren't you anxious? Aren't you afraid?" With a smile the preacher responded, "I am untouchable. As long as God has work for me to do, the police cannot harm me."
Barry Woods wrote, "Tears filled my eyes. I was so proud of him, & ashamed of myself. I thought of David's words in Psalms 27:1, ‘The Lord is my light & my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life – of whom shall I be afraid?’"
3. A third result of an unforgiving attitude is guilt. Deep down you feel guilty, & you can't forgive yourself. Guilt destroys, but God can use even a tarnished vessel when it is clean.
ILL. When our youngest daughter was in a music group at St. Louis Christian College, they recorded a number of songs. One of those songs is titled, "I Have Just Seen Jesus." The line that I like most in that song is, "All that I have done before doesn't matter any more."
Do you believe that? Is there anyone here who can say, "I don't have anything hidden in my closet. Everything I've ever said, every thought I've had, has been good & kind. I've nothing to be ashamed about." I doubt seriously that any of us would be ready to say that.
Now we, as humans, consider some sins more serious than others, but I’m not convinced that is right. The consequences may be bigger, but in the eyes of God I don't believe that to be true.
No, sin is sin. Sin is a fracturing of our relationship with God. It is a trans-gression against God. That is why God speaks so strongly against the unforgiving attitude. It produces fruits of hatred, worry, & guilt. And the end result is eternal separation from God.
SUM. But the marvelous thing about forgiveness is that, "All that I have done before doesn't matter any more."
III. HOW CAN I FORGIVE?
How can I forgive? How can I set things right? How can I "Give up the privilege of hurting you because you hurt me?" That's hard to do, isn't it? We all have our ego & our pride. So how can we bring ourselves to do it?
A. The first thing is to remember. Remember what God has done for you. Remember how many times you were blessed.
Remember Romans 2:4, "…God’s kindness leads you towards repentance" You'll never repent until you look at yourself & say, "God has been so merciful & good to me." Remember!
B. Then secondly, pray. The great problem of the modern church is not unanswered prayers, it is unoffered prayers. James 4:2 tells us, "You do not have, because you do not ask God."
So pray by name. Pray for that person who has despitefully used you. Pray for your enemies. Start the flow.
C. Thirdly, seek reconciliation. Pray about it, but do more than that. Take the first step. Go the first mile. Jesus said to go to your brother. Make a phone call. Send a letter. Do something to erase the chalk marks!
As He hung upon the cross, Jesus said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) And because of Jesus we dare to pray this prayer also.
CONCL. Let me close this message with a brief story about a man who won the victory over his bitterness.
ILL. During WW2 a couple put their only son on the train for service in the South Pacific. As they turned to walk away from bidding their son “goodbye,” the dad said, "If that boy dies, I hope every Jap in the world is killed."
That boy was killed in the war. And no one will ever know the heartache & struggle that father, as a Christian, went through in losing his only son.
He went to the woods day in & day out & wept & prayed. He kept telling himself, "I refuse to be destroyed by bitterness."
And when they received the government insurance for their son's death, the father took the money & gave it to missions, earmarked to send missionaries to Japan.
APPL. Only God can bring about that kind of change in our lives. We may try, but we can't do it by our own power. But God can.
Have you committed your life to Jesus? Have your sins been forgiven? Don't put it off any longer. Will you come as we stand & as we sing?
INVITATION
