1 Samuel 11: 1 – 15
Being Too Nice Can Hurt You
11 Then Nahash the Ammonite came up and encamped against Jabesh Gilead; and all the men of Jabesh said to Nahash, “Make a covenant with us, and we will serve you.” 2 And Nahash the Ammonite answered them, “On this condition I will make a covenant with you, that I may put out all your right eyes, and bring reproach on all Israel.” 3 Then the elders of Jabesh said to him, “Hold off for seven days, that we may send messengers to all the territory of Israel. And then, if there is no one to save us, we will come out to you.” 4 So the messengers came to Gibeah of Saul and told the news in the hearing of the people. And all the people lifted up their voices and wept. 5 Now there was Saul, coming behind the herd from the field; and Saul said, “What troubles the people, that they weep?” And they told him the words of the men of Jabesh. 6 Then the Spirit of God came upon Saul when he heard this news, and his anger was greatly aroused. 7 So he took a yoke of oxen and cut them in pieces, and sent them throughout all the territory of Israel by the hands of messengers, saying, “Whoever does not go out with Saul and Samuel to battle, so it shall be done to his oxen.” And the fear of the LORD fell on the people, and they came out with one consent. 8 When he numbered them in Bezek, the children of Israel were three hundred thousand, and the men of Judah thirty thousand. 9 And they said to the messengers who came, “Thus you shall say to the men of Jabesh Gilead: ‘Tomorrow, by the time the sun is hot, you shall have help.’ ” Then the messengers came and reported it to the men of Jabesh, and they were glad. 10 Therefore the men of Jabesh said, “Tomorrow we will come out to you, and you may do with us whatever seems good to you.” 11 So it was, on the next day, that Saul put the people in three companies; and they came into the midst of the camp in the morning watch, and killed Ammonites until the heat of the day. And it happened that those who survived were scattered, so that no two of them were left together. 12 Then the people said to Samuel, “Who is he who said, ‘Shall Saul reign over us?’ Bring the men, that we may put them to death.” 13 But Saul said, “Not a man shall be put to death this day, for today the LORD has accomplished salvation in Israel.” 14 Then Samuel said to the people, “Come, let us go to Gilgal and renew the kingdom there.” 15 So all the people went to Gilgal, and there they made Saul king before the LORD in Gilgal. There they made sacrifices of peace offerings before the LORD, and there Saul and all the men of Israel rejoiced greatly.
In a counseling session a person had shared numerous examples of being physically and emotionally abused. I had shared with the person that our Holy God has not called us to take the kind of abuse described to me. The person responded ‘doesn’t God want me to extend ‘unconditional love’? According to my knowledge I never found that term in any of my Bibles. The person said that it is found in the book of 1st Corinthians chapter 13. Really? I turned my Bible to this chapter and read it out loud. “13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. 13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
So, I do not find the word ‘unconditional’ listed. I further commented our Holy God does not want us to be door mats. He has not called us to submit to brutal abuse and categorize it as ‘love’ If someone is an rage plummets you with fists or other objects does this help that person? No, sometimes if the person is arrested and thrown in the pokey then they may learn that this type of crime is not tolerated by society.
Going over today’s ‘scripture I thought about this counseling session and listed for all our consideration that ‘Being too nice can hurt you.’
Kindness is always in style, but being a pushover can hurt you in many different ways. I have found out in life that it is always in your favor to be nice but it is rarely advantageous to be passive.
Though many people will quote to me that kindness is always a virtue, I want to offer to you a thought that there also is such a thing as being too nice. Here are some of my reasons for taking this stand.
1. People will see you as weak and take advantage. In the Gospel of Matthew chapter 10 our Lord Jesus tells us, “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”This first point is no shock. This is generally the rap against being too quick to put your needs aside in favor of the needs of others, and many, many respondents pointed out this danger. "You can never be too nice to people, but you must nonetheless, be vigilant, as some will see it as a sign of weakness and try to take advantage of you," They will walk all over you. Remember the old quote, ‘Give them an inch and they will take a mile.”
2. This might sound strange but in truth you forget to be nice to yourself
Being nice to others is good but do not forget to be nice to yourself! This is also the problem with being "too nice" that is often cited by experts on entrepreneurship. Being responsive is great for your business, but take your focus on meeting others' needs to far and you'll end up with no time left over to work on your own priorities or the longer-term issues that are essential to your company's health.
Struggling with balancing being there for your customers and employees and having time for long-term strategy (or your own physical and mental health)? You're not alone. Thankfully, there's a boatload of good advice out there on how to set be more strategic about your time use and say no firmly and fairly.
3. You attract the wrong kind of people
Kindness may be a prerequisite for healthy and meaningful relationships, but an utter inability to set boundaries can come across as an invitation to those with draining emotional needs, Be excessively nice and "you will start to attract needy, whiny, overly emotional, demanding/controlling, 'guilt tripping you if you don't do something for them' types of people,".
Many counselors even Pastors have this mentality that you meet with people with a time limit of 45 to 50 minutes. Then they stop the dialogue and tell the person who came to them with physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual problems that they will schedule another time to sit down and talk.
I do not things the way others do. For some people it takes them an hour or two just with all their jammed up thoughts to just get to the core issues. I for one cannot just cut someone off from getting to the point even if it causes me unscheduled time. Of course the word gets out and I wind up getting a certain crowd of those I just mentioned. Oh, well!
4. Some people will distrust you
Let's face it, genuinely nice people aren't rare, but especially in some corners of the business and professional world, they're hardly in the majority either. This sad fact means that if you are truly nice, you're liable to be occasionally misunderstood and even viewed with suspicion. People might believe that you have an ulterior motive in mind, otherwise, why would you be doing all these special things and being so nice?.
5. You'll negatively affect your expectations
Being endlessly selfless can throw off your perspective, leading you to expect others to put their interests aside for you just as you would for them. I often find this fact out in dealing with couples. They go into a marriage with expectations and yet the other person does not know what the other expects from him/her. I have listened to too many responses of ‘I give 100% to serve and get 0% in return.’ If someone is too nice to people, they start expecting unreasonable amount of niceness from others as well. This always leads to the nice ones thinking others are being mean to them or taking them for granted.
Over and over our Holy Master and Ever Living God told the Israelites to totally wipe out all traces of the Canaanite people when they enter The Promised Land. If you have ever read the book of Joshua you will quickly understand that they did not listen to our Holy God. For various reasons they allowed the people of the land to stay and dwell with them. The ultimate result was that these people grew and then caused numerous significant problems. You just cannot think that evil people will come to love you because you are so nice to them.
Even with the issues of dealing with Canaanites who should have been driven from the land the Israelite had nations that surrounded them that all wanted to cause them harm. I am talking about the kingdoms of Ammon, Moab and Edom which ruled east of the Jordan. These nations were relatives of the Israelites who should have been friends with the Israelites.
We are going to start off today with a very evil man who was king of the Ammonites. In the Bible, they are described as being descendants of Ben-ammi, who was the son of Lot (Abraham’s nephew) and Lot’s younger daughter (Genesis 19:38). The capital of the Iron Age kingdom of Ammon was Rabbah, which is located at modern-day Amman, Jordan. The Ammonite heartland comprised the north-central Transjordanian Plateau encircled by the upper Jabbok … within a 12.5-mile radius of its capital at the headwaters of the Jabbok.
Other than Israel, no country has as many Biblical sites as Jordan: Mount Nebo, from where Moses gazed at the Promised Land; Bethany beyond the Jordan, where John baptized Jesus; Lot’s Cave, where Lot and his daughters sought refuge after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah; and many more.
Who were the Moabites? In the Bible, the Moabites are said to have descended from Moab, the son of Lot and his oldest daughter (Genesis 19:37). The kingdom of Moab stretched “north and south of the Arnon River” with its capital at Dibon.
Who were the Edomites? In the Bible, the Edomites are the descendants of Esau, Jacob’s twin and Isaac’s oldest son (Genesis 36). The Edomites controlled an area east of the Arabah, from the Zered to the Gulf of Aqaba. Their capital was Bozrah, which sat in the northern part of their territory.
11 Then Nahash the Ammonite came up and encamped against Jabesh Gilead; and all the men of Jabesh said to Nahash, “Make a covenant with us, and we will serve you.”
Nahash, King of Ammon (12.12) took the opportunity presented by Israel’s supposed present state of weakness to invade Israel in Transjordan, and in the process besieged Jabesh-Gilead, one of the leading cities of the area. Jabesh-Gilead has been identified as Tell abu-Kharaz, which is to the west of, and slightly lower (more southerly) than, Ramoth Gilead.
The inhabitants of Jabesh Gilead were probably still recovering from the mauling that they had received when they broke their covenant with the tribal league (Judges 21.8-12). So not wanting to experience a similar situation again (conquerors were always harder on cities that did not surrender immediately, they were prepared to surrender and pay tribute. They therefore offered to enter into a treaty with Nahash whereby they submitted to him as their overlord immediately in return for clemency.
2 And Nahash the Ammonite answered them, “On this condition I will make a covenant with you, that I may put out all your right eyes, and bring reproach on all Israel.”
Nahash replied that he would make such a treaty on one condition, and that was that it included a stipulation that all the men of Jabesh Gilead should have their right eyes gouged out. His main aim in doing this was as a reprisal against Israel’s past shaming of Ammon, with the aim of in return bringing shame on them. For a man to be so disabled in those days was seen as rendering him unsatisfactory to the gods, and therefore a thing of shame. In Israel it would prevent entry into the court of the Tabernacle. Thus if Israel did not prevent this happening all Israel would be shamed.
The other reason behind the blinding of men in the right eye was in order to hinder their ability to make war, whether with sword or bow. Thus it would ensure (as far as it was possible to do so) that in future they did not rebel against Nahash. It was not therefore as unusual a stipulation as it sounds to us.
3 Then the elders of Jabesh said to him, “Hold off for seven days, that we may send messengers to all the territory of Israel. And then, if there is no one to save us, we will come out to you.”
The elders of Jabesh recognized Nahash’s motives and thought processes and replied by seeking a seven day respite period for consideration of the terms. During this period they would send out messengers to the whole of Israel seeking assistance. If they were refused help, or no one came to help them, then they would submit to the terms laid down. As long as Nahash agreed they would not thereby be looked on as having ‘resisted’.
We may wonder why Nahash would accept such terms. But we must remember that it was in his interests to know what kind of retaliation Israel could make if he did enforce his terms and ‘shame’ Israel, and he would know that it would add to the shame being piled on Israel if they made no response (which was his expectation). As his aim was to humiliate Israel and that he considered these people were in no position to resist him, at least in Transjordan, this might well have been seen by him as a way of adding to their humiliation. After all if his plan succeeded he both shamed Israel for being unwilling to fight, and gained Jabesh without any further fighting, while if he refused he could not be sure that Jabesh would not decide to hold out longer and thus hinder the progress of his invasion. And they could then be depended on to get messengers through the siege-lines calling for help anyway, because they would keep on trying until one did, and it was always impossible to totally prevent it. Thus he had little to lose.
4 So the messengers came to Gibeah of Saul and told the news in the hearing of the people. And all the people lifted up their voices and wept.
The messengers arrived at Gibeah of Saul. They may have known about Saul’s appointment, but in view of the fact that they did not ask for him it seems unlikely, or they may have been directed there, or it may just have been that they approached Gibeah as they made their rounds of the leading cities of Israel and when they informed the people of Gibeah why they had come, the people of Gibeah responded by going into public (and loud) mourning. Not to have done so would have been a grave insult, especially as Benjaminites had close ties with the people of Jabesh-Gilead (Judges 21.6-12).
5 Now there was Saul, coming behind the herd from the field; and Saul said, “What troubles the people, that they weep?” And they told him the words of the men of Jabesh.
Saul had not set up a court and tried to exalt himself with grandiose ideas right after being anointed as king of Israel. Rather he had returned doing what he had done in the past. Hearing the cries of mourning he was obviously interested in what troubles had caused it, and the townsfolk informed him of the message that had come from Jabesh.
6 Then the Spirit of God came upon Saul when he heard this news, and his anger was greatly aroused.
Immediately Saul recognized that it was now his responsibility to do something, and ‘the Spirit of God came mightily on Saul --- and his anger was greatly stirred up (literally kindled like a flame)’.
7 So he took a yoke of oxen and cut them in pieces, and sent them throughout all the territory of Israel by the hands of messengers, saying, “Whoever does not go out with Saul and Samuel to battle, so it shall be done to his oxen.” And the fear of the LORD fell on the people, and they came out with one consent.
He then followed what was probably the regular procedure when the tribes had to be called on to fulfill their responsibility under the covenant to provide warriors for the defense of one of the tribes. He took a yoke of oxen (possibly his own), cut them in pieces (a task farmers were quite used to), and sent them throughout all Israel to their very borders. The messengers would explain what the need was, and at the same time give the warning that was probably always given in similar words, although personalized for the occasion.
The message given to all was that “Whoever does not come forth after Saul and after Samuel, so will it be done to his oxen.” The threat was that if they refused the call of Saul and Samuel (note how Saul does not do it just on his own authority.
At this stage some might have refused. But all recognized Samuel’s authority) then they would be punished by having all their own most valuable possessions taken from them, symbolized in terms of their oxen being slain. Tribal vengeance would be taken on them.
The response was immediate and in some cases must have been by forced march. The ‘dread of Yahweh’ fell on them. This may well have been a technical term for the adrenalin that this symbol always pumped up when it was received. It was a sacred symbol. Few would question it. And the result was that Israel gathered as one man.
8 When he numbered them in Bezek, the children of Israel were three hundred thousand, and the men of Judah thirty thousand.
Once the tribes had gathered they were organized and counted. From the children of Israel had come three hundred military units. This distinction of Judah from Israel is carefully worded. It is ‘the men of Judah’ not ‘the children of Judah’. They were thus distinct, and yet still part of the children of Israel. Judah always saw them as being distinctive among the tribes. They were a large tribe and had settled the south (along with Simeon). But the main reason for the differentiation here was probably that the northern tribes assembled together as they arrived and formed up in their units, while the men of Judah arrived separately from the south.
9 And they said to the messengers who came, “Thus you shall say to the men of Jabesh Gilead: ‘Tomorrow, by the time the sun is hot, you shall have help.’ ” Then the messengers came and reported it to the men of Jabesh, and they were glad.
The army being amassed messages were sent to Jabesh-gilead in order to inform them that help was on the way. The message was simple. ‘Tomorrow, by the time the sun is hot, you will have deliverance.’ In other words they would be attacking early next morning. Perhaps not surprisingly when the messengers arrived with the good news the men of Jabesh were delighted. They must have been awaiting the messenger with some dread. Who could be sure that the tribes would respond?
10 Therefore the men of Jabesh said, “Tomorrow we will come out to you, and you may do with us whatever seems good to you.”
The men of Jabesh then attempted to make the attack on the morrow a total surprise for Nahash. It would make things easier for Israel if their forces arrived unexpectedly and took the Ammonites by surprise. So they sent Nahash a message to say that at some time on the morrow they would come out and surrender without fighting, and that Nahash could then do what seemed good to him. Their hope was that this would keep the focus of Nahash and his men firmly fixed on the besieged city. Indeed they might have hoped that the Ammonites would also feel able to indulge in a little celebration beforehand, and might even relax their guards and call in their scouts, all of which would be of benefit to the approaching Israelites.
11 So it was, on the next day, that Saul put the people in three companies; and they came into the midst of the camp in the morning watch, and killed Ammonites until the heat of the day. And it happened that those who survived were scattered, so that no two of them were left together.
True to his word Saul arrived during ‘the morning watch’ (roughly the equivalent of 2.00 am to 6.00 am) as daylight was approaching, and dividing his forces into three companies, he attacked the Ammonite camp from three sides just before dawn, seemingly taking them completely by surprise. The battle continued all morning, and resulted in the Ammonites who did escape fleeing in ones and twos. They were totally routed.
The returning Saul arrived back in triumph and the vast majority of the people acknowledged that he had proved himself and determined to deal with the nurturers against him remember back in chapter 10.27) by putting them to death. This was the recognized way of dealing with obdurate opponents to a regime. But to his credit Saul would have none of it. Then with his position established Saul was officially confirmed as king at Gilgal.
12 Then the people said to Samuel, “Who is he who said, ‘Shall Saul reign over us?’ Bring the men, that we may put them to death.”
The exuberant returning troops would now look on Saul with a new light. It was one thing to have a war-leader appointed by lot, it was quite another when you have followed him into battle and been hugely victorious. None of them doubted him now. Thus they approached Samuel who would have been awaiting their return and called for all who opposed Saul to be put to death. In view of the fact that it was expected that they would have brought presents to the new king they were possibly mainly older men who through tribal loyalty could not bear the thought of being ruled over by a Benjaminite.
13 But Saul said, “Not a man shall be put to death this day, for today the LORD has accomplished salvation in Israel.”
To his great credit Saul stepped in and forbade it. This was not a day for slaying Israelites, it was a day for rejoicing, for on this day Yahweh had wrought deliverance for Israel. We should note in view of what follows that in these early days Saul was revealed as someone totally worthy of the kingship. The initial choice was shown to be a good one.
14 Then Samuel said to the people, “Come, let us go to Gilgal and renew the kingdom there.”
Meanwhile Samuel saw the opportunity to finally seal the kingship question. With all the tribes gathered together (probably moreso than at Mizpah), and with them all in agreement, he suggested that all repair to the Sanctuary at Gilgal in order to renew the kingship.
15 So all the people went to Gilgal, and there they made Saul king before the LORD in Gilgal. There they made sacrifices of peace offerings before the LORD, and there Saul and all the men of Israel rejoiced greatly.
The making of Saul as king ‘before Yahweh’ again suggests that Gilgal was being seen as the Central Sanctuary, and the offering of sacrifices of peace-offerings in celebration and thanksgiving for their victory would be by the priests at Gilgal. It was a time of festival and rejoicing, but not one of the regular festivals.
