Love What God Loves – You!
Okay – today is the 7th Sunday of the year 2017…
AND – week three of our series, ‘Getting Better At What Jesus Said Matters Most.’
AND – I want to start off with some powerful and familiar words penned by Paul and breathed by God, 2000 years ago about the importance and definition of His kind of love.
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails - 1 Cor 13:1
MGCC…
2000 years ago – during the final week before His crucifixion and death, Jesus was asked a question by a religious leader.
“Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” – Mark 12:28-31
Matthew adds Jesus saying this…
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” - Matthew 22:36-40
B/S
What would happen?
What would your lives look like, if you actually ‘got better’ – at loving God, loving others and loving yourself…
I MEAN – would it make a difference in how you live?
Would it make a difference in your inner being?
Would people (your – spouse, kids, parents, family members, friends, neighbors, coworkers) notice?
Would your world feel it’s impact?
Would we finally begin walking in the newness and fullness of life that Jesus promised?
AND LISTEN – the point that I have been trying to drive home the last few weeks is this…
BEFORE – you will ever really get better at loving God (as you should) and loving your neighbors as God intends,
YOU FIRST – must love yourself.
AND MGCC – the truth is that, far too many don’t.
AND THE EVIDENCE…
#1 – self-hatred, depression, insecurity and low self-esteem are pretty much at epidemic levels. BOTH – inside and outside of the church.
#2 most people are not doing so good at loving God with ALL OF their (heart, soul, mind and strength) or at loving their neighbor as God intends.
NOW – I am calling this morning’s conversation, ‘Love What God Loves, You!” AND – in this conversation we will wrap up the middle, the often missing command of God for you to love yourself.
UNDERSTAND – there is so much we could talk about in regards to this subject… of Getting Better at loving yourself.
BUT – we need to move on to the first part of the Great Commandment… ‘Getting Better At Loving God.’
AND – we will kick that off next week by unpacking a conversation I am calling, ‘A God Worthy Of Our Love.”
BUT LISTEN – though we are moving on from this command to love yourself…
I want you to know…that the how you feel about yourself,
that your emotion health matters to me, so it will be a topic we will visit again.
BECAUSE – I have very recently become convinced that it is impossible to become spiritually mature if we are not emotionally healthy.
SO – let me recommend a few books… that you can read by yourself or with a friend that will help you in this journey to become the YOU God created you to be… To become you-ier.
I’ve read each one, and the all have valuable insights.
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality – Peter Scazerro
The Missing Commandment. Love Yourself – Jerry and Denise Basel
ME – John Ortberg
Waking The Dead – John Eldredge
OKAY - here is how I want to attack our conversation this morning. I want to talk about 7 keys or principals for getting better at loving yourself…
7 things that if you will do them, will enable to really love what God loves, and God loves you.
NOW – the first 2 keys are review from the previous week.
SO – you already know what they are.
BUT – like Jesus said in John 13, knowing is good, but it is not enough…
Now that you know these things you will be blessed if you do them. – John 13:17
(And if you missed any of the first 2 conversations, please consider checking them out on our website…)
Alright let’s do this… 7 keys for getting better at to loving yourself.
To Love Yourself You Must
Plunge The Depths Of The Father’s Love
We love, because He first loved us. – 1 John 4:19
Question have you done any plunging this past 2 weeks?
B/S – I have some awesome, incredible, mind-blowing news for you…
The Father’s Love for you…
• Is a love beyond reason
It’s unconditional. It does not make sense or add up.
• Is a love that delights in you
• Is a love that is for you
• Is a love that pays attention to you, and
• Is a love that constantly pursues you
YOU KNOW - a couple of Friday mornings ago I was having breakfast with my Band of Brothers and as we were chowing down on some bacon, eggs and on the Word…
WE WERE - talking about all the loves songs that are out there, AND HOW - crazy it is to think that God, would sing them to us.
I mean imagine ‘GOD’ singing to you…
• “I just came to say I love you and I love you from the bottom of my heart”
• “I love you – yeah, yeah, yeah”
• “I can’t stop loving you…”
• I I I I will always love you”
• I don’t want to close my eyes, because I’d miss you Steve and I don’t want to miss a thing
UNDERSTAND MGCC – it is time for you…
• To stop questioning God’s unconditional love and begin to really accept it as your own
• To let’s your roots (your life, your spirit, your soul) go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love for you.
• Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. God’s love for you and his choice of you constitute your worth. Accept that, and let it become the most important thing in your life. – Brannan Manning
To Love Yourself You Must
Push Through Insecurity
How? By…
Resisting and Replacing The Lies Of The Enemy With God’s Truth
UNDERSTAND – you need to RESIST lies like…
• I’m a mistake
• I’m a burden
• I’m worthless
• I’m the problem
• I’m inadequate and deficient
• It was all my fault
• I always miss up everything
• I will never measure up or be good enough
• I don’t belong
• If people really knew me, they would not like me
AND THEN – you need to REPLACE them with God’s truth
• I’m loved
• I’m worthy
• I’m wanted
• I’m accepted
• I’m significant
• I’m fearfully and wonderfully made
• I’m God’s treasure and masterpiece
• I’m the apple of God’s eye
• I’m a daughter/son of the King
• God loves me
• God adopted me
AND – I encourage you to let God etch these truths from the pen of John Eldredge onto your heart…
You are not what you think you are, there is a glory to your life that the enemy fears and He is hell-bent on destroying it before you act on it. – John Eldredge
The story of your life is the story of the long and brutal assault on your heart by the one who knows who you could be and fears it. – John Eldredge
By Refusing To Drink The Deadly Toxin Of Comparison
When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. – 2 Cor 10:12
UNDERSTAND - this toxin (comparison) is very deadly, and for some reason it is not so easy to stay away from.
IN FACT – I begin to drink it just this past week…
I was on looking through my Facebook newsfeed… and saw a friend doing something cool that I have never done…
And the deadly toxin began to flow down my throat into my spirit. THEN – God said…
Stop it dude! You just talked about this very thing.
So I stopped and went to the word and was good.
Remember God did not create you to live someone else’s life.
He created you to be you be you.
Don’t try to become someone you are not.
The vast majority of us go to the grave without knowing who we are. We unconsciously live someone else’s life or at least someone else’s expectation of us. This does violence to ourselves, our relationship with God and ultimately to others.
- Peter Scazzero
UNDERSTAND
True freedom comes when we no longer need to be somebody special in other people’s eyes, because we know that we are lovable and good enough.
Seeing Yourself Through ‘The Undistorted, Photo-Shopping’ Lens Of The Father
BUT LISTEN – to do that we have to constantly reject the 3 false identities that our world and our enemy will never stop trying to get us to embrace.
• I am what I do
• I am what I have
• I am what other people think
Which of the false identities do you struggle with the most?
God desires to heal our self-hatred, self-condemnation, self-contempt, self-deprecation, and negative self-talk. When we come into agreement with who the Father says we are as his beloved children—and when we are able to love ourselves the way he loves us—we also become better able to trust his heart and to love others in return. – Jerry Basel
To Love Yourself You Must
Accept That You Loving Yourself Is Essential Not Selfish
YOU KNOW – one of the reasons why this commandment from Jesus, for you to love yourself, is so often over looked is because it seems kind of selfish to be so focused on loving yourself.
AFTER ALL – we are told time and time again in Scripture to deny ourselves and to put the needs of others before our own.
AND - the truth is many people, especially non-Christians, would argue that the commandment that is in fact ‘missing’ from the lives of those who claim to follow Jesus… is loving others.
NOW UNFORUNATELY, there is more truth to that statement than most of us would care to admit.
But if that is so, then what is the answer?
Do I simply decide to love and serve more?
Do I need to hear another sermon on loving, serving, and giving, and then I will finally understand and be able to step out and do those things more?
Or do I need to immerse myself on what the Scriptures say about dying to self and loving my neighbor and then just start applying what I read?
NO – because simply trying harder never works long term.
NOW PLEASE – don’t misunderstand me, I am not trying minimize the importance of translating our faith into action.
AND – I am not saying that there is only one explanation for why so many Christians fall short in loving others.
HOWEVER - our ability to love ourselves does have a great impact on how well we love others.
BOTTOM LINE
IF - learning to love yourself better, ultimately enables you to love others better, THEN - the result is definitely not selfish.
In Waking the Dead, John Eldredge says it this way:
Caring for our own hearts isn’t selfishness; it’s how we begin to love. Yes, we care for our hearts for the sake of others. Does that sound like a contradiction?
Not at all. What will you bring to others if your heart is empty, dried up, pinned down?
Love is the point. And you can’t love without your heart, and you can’t love well unless your heart is well….
How you handle your own heart is how you will handle the heart of others.
If you dismiss your heart, you will end up dismissing theirs.
If you expect perfection of your heart, you will raise that same standard for them.
If you manage your heart for efficiency and performance, that is what you’ll pressure them to be.”
UNDERSTAND - what Eldredge is saying is that a lack of love for ourselves will eventually manifest in how we treat others.
IN FACT - when we do not love ourselves, we actually become more selfish in our relationship with and to others.
YOU SEE – here is what happens.
YES – we perform our so called ‘actions of love’
BUT – they simply become a means to get our own needs met—(needs for acceptance, security, love)
AND SO - consciously or often unconsciously, we interact with people not because we love so deeply, but because we need something from them in return.
Our love is conditional.
Our love is selfish.
When we peel back the layers we are loving ‘to get’ not to unselfishly give.
BUT - thank God there is a road out of this unhealthy selfish place…
TO - love yourself as the Father loves you.
AND – if you think about it, to do otherwise is to disagree with the Father—and the Father is always right.
AGAIN – to love yourself as God intends you must…
Accept that loving yourself is essential not selfish.
B/L – I want you (us) become serious about Jesus’ command to love ourselves.
AND LISTEN – here’s the crazy undeniable reality…
It is only when we love ourselves (as God intended) that we wil actually have a self to deny and lay done.
To Love Yourself You Must
Go Back In Order To Move Forward
QUESTION.
HAVE YOU - ever seen the movie ‘Good Will Hunting.’
WELL - there is a scene in the movie that is a powerful illustration of the need at times, for us to go back so that we can move forward.
(Isn’t it amazing how God can use a movie with some not-so-good language to pierce our hearts and teach us some life-giving truths?)
In the scene, the psychologist, Sean (played by Robin Williams), is talking to a young adult, Will (played by Matt Damon), who Sean has been counseling regarding anger issues.
Will was physically abused as a child, rejected by his father, and is heading down a bad path. The psychologist befriends him, which was not an easy thing to do. YOU SEE - Will has learned not to trust anyone; yet although his personal walls are a fortress, somehow the psychologist gets in.
Here is an excerpt from the scene in the office where the two men are talking about their experiences with physical abuse:
Sean: My dad used to make us walk down to the park and collect the sticks he was going to beat us with. Actually, the worst of the beatings were between me and my brother. We would practice on each other, trying to find sticks that would break.
Will: My dad used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, “Choose.” I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: I don’t know a lot, Will, but let me tell you one thing—all this history (points to his file) …
Look at me, son. (Both of them are looking at each other). This is not your fault.
Will: (nonchalantly) Yeah, I know.
Sean: It’s not your fault.
Will: (jokingly smiling) I know.
Sean: (seriously) It’s not your fault.
Will: (very agitated)
Don’t ‘mess’ with me, man.
Sean: (now directly in his face)
It’s not your fault.
Will: I know—I know.…
(His heart breaks and he loses it—BUSTED).
Sean takes Will in his arms and holds him like a child. Will sobs like a baby, and after a moment, he wraps his arms around Sean and holds him even tighter.
UNDERSTAND
Will needed to go back in order to move forward.
AND – many of us do as well.
YES – I know that in Christ we are a new creation and that we are being created a new in Him to do the good things he planned for us long ago…
HOWEVER – most of us never really take the time to examine the scripts handed to us by our past and try to see how it is still impacting our today.
UNDERSTAND – looking to our past can illuminate our present. BUT - make no mistake about it, it can be painful.
I was sitting on the front porch with a friend just this week (my ONE), and we were talking about this very thing.
How what happened in our past, in our homes growing up (the things done to us and said about us and what happened in other relationship and circumstances along the way, actually did have an impact on our lives.
For one thing they created this baggage that we carry and sometimes we do not know it is even there.
YOU SEE – it is in going back that we begin to see how we were shaped by…
• Things that should not have happened to us but did,
• and by things that should have happened but did not.
And listen a child does not say, “what’s wrong with the environment that I am growing up in?” Instead they think, “what’s wrong with me?”
So they grow up feeling inadequate, flawed…defective.
UNDERSTAND - it is on this journey back that God…
SHOWS US the things in our lives that align with his perfect plan. AND HEALS US - from the things that were not.
One way to visualize this process is to think about a set of railroad tracks that symbolize the path God intended for us from the point we were placed on this earth.
This set of tracks, designed by God, represents his perfect will for our lives. However, as we start out our lives and journey from that beginning point, we often because of things done or not done to us and our own choices, begin to travel on a different set of tracks which are not the ones he intended for us.
AND WHEN - come to a place where we realize that we’re on the wrong set of tracks, we have only one good choice: to stop, turn around, and allow God to take us back to where we grew up, so we can find the healing we need along the way.
NOW - many of us would prefer to just jump the tracks at this point and move on with God’s intended and better path.
But this really isn’t possible. God asks us to trust him and allow him to show us the areas of wounding in our hearts so we can forgive others, receive forgiveness for our own hurtful responses, and allow our Father to bring about true healing and restoration.
NOW – some of us think that hey my family growing up was not perfect but it has not really impacted me.
(I am one of them)
But when I read these words in the book Love Yourself, I was not so sure…
Would it be okay with you if your son or daughter grew up in your place in your home of origin? You could be a fly on the wall and watch, but you couldn’t intervene in any way—you could only observe.
Your son or daughter would grow up in exactly the same circumstances as you, getting the same treatment from your parents, siblings, grandparents, family members and family friends?
Would that be alright with you?
Like Will in ‘Good Will Hunting.’
Some of us need to hear things like…
• It’s was not your fault
• You were not and are not unlovable
•
To Love Yourself You Must
Use 1 Corinthians 13 As A Template For Loving Yourself
NOW – we read 1 Corinthians 13 at the start of this message…
Where Paul talks about the extreme importance of love.
AND - I am sure that we have all used those words about love being patient and kind, not easily angered…etc,etc, etc…
AS A - template to measure how well we are doing at loving other people… (Oh, still have work to do, me too)
AND - we may have even used it as a template to underscore the kind of love that God has for us…
• God is patient with me
• God is kind to
• God does not keep a record of my wrongs
IN FACT – I have done both…
HOWEVER – I have never used those words as a template for how well I am doing at loving myself. Have you?
YOU KNOW - I think maybe we should.
AFTER ALL - it is God who commanded us to love ourselves
AND - it is God who gave us this incredible definition of love what love looks like in 1 Corinthians 13…
SO – let’s Paul our 1 Cor 13… and ask yourself…
• Do I love myself?
• Am I patient, gentle and kind to myself?
• Am I slow to get angry with myself?
• Do I easily let go of my mistakes and failures?
• Do I continually doubt or shame or berate or condemn myself?
• Do I always believe in and never give up on myself?
• Do I rejoice in the truth about myself?
LISTEN
• You need to stop being so hard on yourself
• You need to stop being your own worst critic
• You need to stop weighing yourself everyday (by inaccurate measures) and finding yourself wanting
NOW – I am not saying that you should ignore and not deal with sin issues in your life, because love takes no pleasure in evil.
I’M JUST SAYING – that if commands you to love yourself and he did… AND IF GOD – has defined how you should love yourself and He has…. THEN – we should that as template for getting better at loving yourself.
To Love Yourself You Must
Let God’s Approval Become Your Validation
UNDERSTAND – when our identity is based on shame and lies rather than centered on the truth of who God made us to be, we will often struggle with the need for validation.
Constantly needing the approval and affirmation of others to feel okay about ourselves.
RECENTLY – I went to the UVA Hospital to visit someone. And as I pulled into the parking garage I got a parking ticket, which I took in to the visitor center to be validated.
NOW – my validated ticket meant that already approved and free to go… and had no payment to make.
AND – you know what a great illustration that is.
B/S – in Christ you are already approved and accepted, so let that become your validation.
LISTEN – you do not need to hold our your ticket anymore hoping someone will stamp it…
Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. – Romans 15:7
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
- 1 John 3:1
I may not have always known you, but you have known everything about me (Psalm 139: 1). You know when I sit down and when I rise up (Psalm 139: 2). You are familiar with all my ways (Psalm 139: 3). Even the very hairs on my head are numbered (Matthew 10: 29–31). I was made in your image (Genesis 1: 27)—and in you I live and move and have my being (Acts 17: 28). For I am your offspring (Acts 17: 28).
You knew me even before I was conceived (Jeremiah 1: 4–5). You chose me when you planned creation (Ephesians 1: 11–12). I was not a mistake—for all my days are written in your book (Psalm 139: 15–16). You determined the exact time of my birth and where I would live (Acts 17: 26). I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 14). You knit me together in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139: 13)—and brought me forth on the day I was born (Psalm 71: 6).
You have been misrepresented by those who don’t know you (John 8: 41-44). You are not distant and angry, but are the complete expression of love (1 John 4: 16). It is your desire to lavish your love on me (1 John 3: 1)—simply because I am your child and you are my Father (1 John 3: 1). You offer me more than my earthly father ever could (Matthew 7: 11)—for you are the perfect Father (Matthew 5: 48). Every good gift that I receive comes from your hand (James 1: 17)—for you are my provider and you meet all my needs (Matthew 6: 31–33).
Your plan for my future has always been filled with hope (Jeremiah 29: 11)—because you love me with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31: 3). Your thoughts toward me are as countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18) - and you rejoice over me with singing (Zephaniah 3: 17).
You will never stop doing good to me (Jeremiah 32: 40)—for I am your treasured possession (Exodus 19: 5). You desire to establish me with all your heart and all your soul (Jeremiah 32: 41)—and you want to show me great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33: 3).
If I seek you with all my heart, I will find you (Deuteronomy 4: 29). As I delight in you, you will give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37: 4)—for it is you who gave me those desires (Philippians 2: 13). You are able to do more for me than I could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3: 20)—for you are my greatest encourager (2 Thessalonians 2: 16–17).
You are also a Father who comforts me in all my troubles (2 Corinthians 1: 3–4). When I am brokenhearted, you are close to me (Psalm 34: 18). As a shepherd carries a lamb, you have carried me close to your heart (Isaiah 40: 11). One day you will wipe away every tear from my eyes (Revelation 21: 3–4)—and you will take away all the pain I have suffered on this earth (Revelation 21: 3–4).
You are my Father, and you love me even as you love Your Son, Jesus (John 17: 23)—for in Jesus, your love for me is revealed (John 17: 26). He is the exact representation of your being (Hebrews 1: 3). Jesus came to demonstrate that you are for me, not against me (Romans 8: 31)—and to tell me that you are not counting my sins (2 Corinthians 5: 18–19). Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled (2 Corinthians 5: 18–19).
His death was the ultimate expression of your love for me (1 John 4: 10). Father, you gave up everything you loved that you might gain my love (Romans 8: 31–32). If I receive the gift of your son Jesus, I receive you (1 John 2: 23)—and nothing will ever separate me from your love again (Romans 8: 38–39).
When I come home, you’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15: 7). You have always been Father and will always be Father (Ephesians 3: 14–15). Your question to me is … “Will you be my child?” (John 1: 12–13). You are waiting for me (Luke 15: 11–32).
Love, __________________( Your Name)
To Love Yourself You Must
1. Plunge the depths of the Fathers love for you
2. Push Through Insecurity
3. Accept that loving yourself is essential not selfish
4. Go Back In Order To Go Forward
5. Use 1 Corinthians 13 as a ‘template’ for loving yourself
6. Let’s God’s Acceptance Become Your Validation
