RELATIONSHIPS AND MARRIAGE
IV. YOU PROMISED
A. MARRIAGE SERVICES
1. A Baptist Marriage Service
Holy and happy is the sacred hour when two devoted hearts are bound by the enchanting ties of matrimony. And these precious evidences of purity of heart and contentment of mind, for all their future, are made more sure, when the contracting parties enter this glad time, clad in the comely robes of reverence, humility, and faith, that they may then be blessed of our Heavenly Father, Maker of us all--the One who has ordained marriage as the cornerstone of family life. and the guarantee of honorable human society.
First and noblest of human contracts, marriage was divinely instituted when Jehovah God spoke the nuptial words of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Jesus of Nazareth honored its celebration by his presence at the wedding of Cana of Galilee, and chose its beautiful relations as the figure of that benign union between himself and his Church. Paul, militant missionary Apostle, commends it as a worthy institution, alike essential to social order, human efficiency, and well-being while the race inhabits the earth, and tells the husband to love his wife as Christ loved his Church and gave himself for it, and the wife to be faithful to her husband, even as the Church is obedient to Christ in everything. Thus the two, husband and wife, forsaking all others become on flesh, one in thought, intent, and hope, in all the concerns of present life. pg 120 -121
The Minister's Marriage Handbook James L. Christensen 1966 Fleming H. Revell
2. Another marriage service
If it be your intention to take each other as husband and wife, you will manifest it by uniting your right hands.
This being done, he shall say to the man,
You now take this woman, whose hand you hold, to be your lawful wedded wife. Do you solemnly promise, before God and these witnesses, that you will love, honor, and cherish her; and that, forsaking all others for her alone, you will faithfully perform to her all the duties which a husband owes to a wife, so long as you both shall live?
He answers, I do. Then to the woman,
You now take this man, whose hand you hold, to be your lawful wedded husband. Do you solemnly promise, before God and these witnesses, that you will love, honor, and cherish him; and that, forsaking all others for him alone, you will faithfully perform to him all the duties which a wife owes to a husband, so long as you both shall live?
She answers, I do. Then, if a ring be used, the minister shall take it from the man, and say to him,
And this ring you give to her whom you have now taken as your lawful wife, in token of affection with which you will cherish her, and the fidelity with which you will perform the sacred vows you have now made?
He answers, I do. Then to her,
And this ring you accept from him whom you have now taken as you lawful husband, and will wear as a sign and evidence of your affection for him, and the fidelity with which you will discharge you duties as a wife?
She answers, I do. He then returns the ring to the man, directing him to place it on the hand of the woman. After which he says:
Let this be the seal of your plighted faith, and of your mutual affection and fidelity; a memorial of this sacred service, and of the holy bonds of marriage, by which you are bound henceforth till death shall separate you.
As you have thus solemnly agreed before God and these witnesses, I pronounce you lawfully married husband and wife. May Divine favor crown this union and you future lives, with all temporal and spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus our Savior, and bring you to the life everlasting. Amen.
The Star Book for Ministers Edward T. Hiscox 1906 The Judson Press pg 211-213
3. Another marriage service.
Dearly beloved: We are gather together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this company, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy matrimony, which is commended of St. Paul to be honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, and in the fear of God. Into this holy estate, these two persons present come now to be joined. If any man can show just cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace.
If no impediment shall be alleged, the minister shall say to the man:
Wilt thou have this Woman to thy wedded wife, to live together after God's ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall live?
The man will answer, I will.
Then shall the minister say to the woman:
Wilt thou have this Man to thy wedded husband, to live together after God's ordinance, in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou obey him and serve him, love, honor, and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, so long as ye both shall live?
The woman shall answer, I will.
The man holding the ring, and taught by the minister, shall say:
As a pledge and in token of the vows between us made, with this ring I thee wed: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Those whom God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.
Forasmuch as Mr. and Ms. have consented together in holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God and this company, and thereto have pledged their faith, each to the other, by giving and receiving a ring, and by joining of their hands, I pronounce them Husband and Wife together, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
The Star Book for Ministers Edward T. Hiscox 1906 The Judson Press pg 219 -221
B. Remember
Try to remember in as much detail as possible your total experiences of that day when you promised, before God and witnesses, to love, honor, and cherish your partner in holy wedlock. pg 31
Find in that compartment in your mind and in this way relive once again your wedding day. Can you rediscover the setting and the feelings you had for each other? Do you remember the promises you made? How did you feel as you held your partner's hand and said your vows? pg 32
Why Christian Marriages are Breaking Up Gerald L. Dahl 1979
Thomas Nelson
C. Now let's think about what was said.
1. In the sight of God . . .
God was present and was very much a part of your very special moment. His presence continues throughout your marriage. pg 32
Remember: You Promised
Why Christian Marriages are Breaking Up Gerald L. Dahl 1979
Thomas Nelson
2. Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor, and keep her, in sickness and in health;
and, forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, so long as ye both shall
live? You clearly stated there would be no one else for the rest of your
life. At the time, when your relationship was new and fresh, forsaking
others was an easy task. But you promised to continue forsaking others
and to love one another day after day, month after month, year after year,
"so long as you both shall live." pg 32
Paul told Timothy ---- Flee youthful lusts
Remember Joseph and Potiphar's wife.
In order to remain faithful to one, there are times when you must literally
Run from the temptation of others.
If Timothy and Joseph were obedient by running or fleeing the temptation,
then surely they must have felt the temptation. The lesson is this: The
problem is not the feelings, but rather our behavior in response to those feelings. pg 33
Remember: You promised you would forsake all others.
3. For better, for Worse
a. There are special temptations when things are better.
b. What are the limits of "for worse?"
We did not know what we were getting into at the time.
Remember: You Promised
4. For Richer, for Poorer
a. The richer ---- couples often find that their wealth takes more and more
control of them instead of them controlling their wealth. Their
world revolves around the making and spending of money.
Because of their money, the rich seem to need less of each other.
The personal attention and services given and received by the spouses
in most wealthy marriages are often purchased. When the satisfaction
of needs is purchased, the relationship is formed with the money rather
than with the spouse. pg 36 -37
b. The poorer ---- In your vows, the "for poorer" may mean until death us do part.
Remember: You Promised
5. In Sickness and in Health
You cannot be yourself totally unless you know your partner unconditionally
accepts you and will always be there. pg 39
Remember: You Promised
6. So long as you both shall live.
Marriage is a lifetime proposition.
To experience what the intimacy of marriage really is, your promise must be
unconditional---which means it is for a lifetime.
Many young couples today are revising their vows. One of the more common
revisions is to replace the word live with love. The vows then read, "so long
as we both shall love." That simple change of one small word completely
alters what you promise. It makes a conditional promise out of one that must
be unconditional.
*Conditional vows of this type plant a seed of insecurity right from the beginning. pg 40
*Lack of commitment and the deterioration of a relationship go hand in hand.
Remember: You Promised
The knot had been tied not only at the church but also in heaven.
Why Christian Marriages are Breaking Up Gerald L. Dahl 1979 Thomas Nelson
