SCARS
INTRODUCTION
A. HUMOR
1. In a lot of ways, adults are like kids; we make mistakes and sometimes get hurt.
2. A young boy, Jayden, came into the house covered with mud after finishing a rough day of play. "Mom," he shouted at the top of his voice, "if I fell out of a tree, would you rather I broke a leg or tore my pants?"
3. "That’s a silly question," his mom answered from the next room. "I'd rather you tore your pants!"
4. "Well, I've got good news for you then," Jayden said triumphantly. "That's exactly what happened!"
B. SCARS
1. Scars were painful at the time; now are memories. My scars serve as mile-markers in my life.
2. One thumb. When I was about eight, I was using a large hand saw when it jumped from the groove and sawed partway through my thumb.
3. Scars on my knees. When I was a teenager, I had a motorcycle wreck in the high school parking lot.
4. Many of us have permanent marks on the landscape of our lives from accidents, cuts, and wrecks.
5. Other scars are hidden from human view. Scars from verbal or physical abuse, divorce, traumatic losses, betrayals by those you loved. But those scars don't escape the Master's sight. Jesus sees them and knows all about them.
C. THERE’S AN URGENT NEED OF FORGIVENESS…
1. At the workplace, in the family, at Church. Those you trust can/ will betray you.
2. Psalm 41:7-9, “All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me, saying, 8 “A vile disease has afflicted him; he will never get up from the place where he lies.” 9 Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me.”
3. Yet we’re COMMANDED TO FORGIVE THEM. People respond to this command:
a. “Forgive him/her? After what he’s done to me? I could never forgive him/her!”
b. “Forgive me? How could God forgive me? After all the terrible things I’ve done”
c. “She ruined my life! I can’t stand to think of her, let alone forgive her! Just to drive near her house makes my stomach sick.”
D. THESIS
Since forgiveness is a command and is difficult, we’re going to look at 3 aspects of forgiveness:
a. Forgiveness as Necessary;
b. What forgiveness is NOT;
c. 4 Steps on ‘How to Forgive.’
I. NECESSITY OF FORGIVENESS
A. WHO UNFORGIVENESS HURTS
People harbor unforgiveness because they like the idea that the offender knows they’re angry at them, but the main person who is hurt is you. Why?
1. YOU CAN’T WALK WITH CHRIST OR BE A CHRISTIAN IF YOU HARBOR UNFORGIVENESS
a. Unforgiveness, if harbored, keeps you from following through on the specifics of Christian life! It makes you walk in the flesh rather than the Holy Spirit.
b. When Leonardo Da Vinci was painting the "Last Supper," he had a violent argument with a fellow painter. Leonardo was so angry that he decided to paint the face of the artist into the face of Judas, and thus take his revenge.
c. But when he came to paint the face of Christ, he could make no progress. Something seemed to be baffle him and frustrate his best efforts.
d. Finally he came to the conclusion that the hindrance was his unforgiveness to the other artist, painting his face onto the face of Judas. He decided to forgive and not take revenge.
e. As soon as he painted out the face of Judas, then he was able to paint the face of Jesus with such realism that it stands acclaimed even today! Negative emotions will hinder Jesus’ image in us!
2. YOUR RESENTMENT, ETC., SPILLS OVER INTO OTHER RELATIONSHIPS
a. I remember when I was a kid and my mother would get mad at one of my siblings (she wasn’t a Christian at that time). After she got finished straightening them out – if I was sitting around smiling – she’d say, “What are you looking at? Do you want to get in on the trouble?” POINT: anger can spill over.
b. Another example is STRESS. When you get stressed out at work it’s easy to bring that stress home and over-react toward your kids or your spouse.
c. In the same way, you may THINK your unforgiveness won’t affect your family, but it will. The habit of cutting off mercy or grace toward one person can be easily transmitted to another person, even without our being aware of it.
3. IT DEVELOPS INTO BITTERNESS
a. Heb. 12:15, “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”
b. In Gen. 4:3-8, Cain developed a root of bitterness. Instead of doing what was right, he became resentful toward Abel because his offering was accepted by God. Resentment started small but grew. It became hate and he became the first murderer.
c. Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other guy to die. It’s a toxic waste that corrodes even the container that holds it.
B. CAN’T BE FORGIVEN BY GOD UNLESS YOU DO
1. Jesus included in the “Lord’s Prayer,” “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.” At the conclusion of the prayer, the only thing He added was, “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Mt. 6:12,15)
2. In the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Mt. 18:21-35), Jesus made it abundantly that if we don’t forgive others, that we forfeit the right for God to forgive us. We ‘stop up’ the grace of God.
3. In his autobiography, Mark Twain concluded a tirade against a publisher, who had swindled him, with a note of forgiveness: “He has been dead a quarter of a century now; I only feel compassion for him. And if I could send him a fan, I would!”
II. WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT
Sometimes we feel an inability to forgive. I believe it arises because we don’t know what forgiveness is.
A. NOT “FORGETTING”
1. The fact that we still remember the offense doesn’t mean we haven’t forgiven. We will still have our memories at the Judgment Seat.
2. A Jewish proverb says, “A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she will never forget what she forgave!”
B. NOT JUSTIFYING OURSELVES BEFORE OTHERS
1. Alice and Mildred, two old sisters, kept up a feud for 30 years. On Mildred’s 70th birthday, Alice felt a pang of remorse, but it passed. But later, when Mildred fell very ill, Alice felt compelled to visit.
2. From her sickbed, Mildred looked sternly at her sister. At last she said in a faint voice, “The doctor’s say I’m seriously ill Alice. If I pass away, I want you to know that you’re forgiven.”
3. Then she added, with a raised eyebrow, “But if I pull through, then things stay as they are!”
4. We can all justify ourselves, but the more spiritual person ought to take responsibility and humble themselves and forgive the other person.
C. NOT DENIAL
1. Many time, people try to pretend the offence never happened. But that’s not forgiveness.
2. Someone has said, “Forgiveness is not a case of holy amnesia that wipes out the past. Instead it is the experience of healing that drains the poison from the wound.
D. NOT EXPECTING TIME TO HEAL ALL HURTS
1. Frequently people expect that the lapse of a long amount of time will heal the hurts.
2. But a wounded spirit may never be healed without the intervention of God and balm of an apology.
III. HOW TO FORGIVE: 4 STEPS
A. RECOGNIZE THAT WE HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN
1. For years, Tom Anderson’s life had been plagued by the memory of a fraternity escapade that caused the death of a classmate.
2. He lost job after job. After six years of marriage, he and his wife separated. Then something happened. Life began anew. This is his story.
3. “For years I thought, ‘Nothing can undo what I’ve done.’ The thoughts of my guilt would stop me in the middle of a smile or a handshake. It put a wall between others and me. Then I had an unexpected visit from the person I dreaded most to see – the mother of the classmate who died.”
4. “Years ago,” she said, “I found it in my heart, through prayer, to forgive you. Your wife forgave you. So did your friends.”
5. She paused, and then said sternly, “Tom, You are the one person who hasn’t forgiven Tom Anderson.”
6. He said, “I looked in her eyes and found there a kind of permission to be the person I might have been if her boy had lived. For the first time in my adult life I felt worthy to love and to be loved.”
7. Some of you need to forgive yourselves! Jesus gives you permission to put it behind you/ let it go!
8. There’s only one unforgiveable sin and you haven’t done it.
B. FORGIVE THE DEBT
1. Forgiving is a decision of the will. Release the person from the debt. Bundle up all the hostile feelings and surrender them to Christ.
2. During WW2 Corrie Ten Boom and her sister Betsie were arrested for concealing Jews and were sent to a German Concentration camp.
3. Betsie died a slow and terrible death as a result of cruel treatment. Corrie was later released and after the war went around preaching about the need to forgive people who’ve hurt us. Then it happened:
4. "It was at a church service in Munich that I saw him, the former S.S. man who had stood guard at the shower room door in the processing center at Ravensbruck.
5. He was the first of our actual jailers that I had seen since that time. Suddenly it was all there, the roomful of mocking men, the heaps of clothing, Betsy’s pain blanched face.
6. He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing. "How grateful I am for your message Fraulein," he said. "To think, as you say, He has washed my sins away!"
7. His hand was thrust out to shake mine. And I, who had preached so often to the people the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.
8. Even as the angry vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them. Jesus Christ had died for this man: was I going to ask for more? “Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.”
9. I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand. I could not. I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity. And so again I breathed a silent prayer. “Jesus, I cannot forgive him. Give me your forgiveness.”
10. As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened. From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.
11. And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that this world’s healing hinges, but on His. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself."
C. VIEW THE OFFENDER AS A TOOL OF GOD
1. Joseph was despised, betrayed, sold, hated, maligned. But he rose above it. He saw his brothers as instruments of God to bring him to Egypt to save his family from famine.
2. Gen. 50:19-21, “But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? 20 You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. 21 So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.
D. MAKE RECONCILIATION
1. If there’s someone you’ve been avoiding because of hostility in your heart you need to reestablish contact, if necessary.
2. We may have to begin by apologizing. Do what you can to restore fellowship. Once the barrier of unforgiveness is removed, the old pleasant feelings can surface.
3. If renewing relationship is impossible, it might be possible to anonymously pay a bill or do something nice for them. This way you will at least be letting good come out of your heart toward them, and that may set you free from bitterness!
CONCLUSION
A. ILLUSTRATION
1. An attorney decided to cancel the debts of all his clients that had owed him money for more than six months. He sent seventeen debt-canceling letters via certified mail.
2. One by one, the letters began to return, unsigned and undelivered. 16 of 17 letters came back because the clients refused to sign for and open the envelopes, fearing that this attorney was suing them for their debts.
3. How profound! We owe a debt for our sin and God is willing to cancel it, but many people won’t open the letter that announces it. Will you? [Rick McCarley]
4. You can pray this prayer; “Lord, I forgive _____ for _______. I take authority over the Enemy, and in the Name of Jesus Christ and by the power of the Spirit, I take back the ground I have allowed Satan to gain in my life because of my attitude toward _________. So I give this ground back to my Lord Jesus Christ. I’ve held on to this for too long. I now let it go. Take it Lord, it’s yours from now on. I release it in Jesus’ Name.”
B. THE CALL
1. When the Lord Jesus rose from the dead, He showed them His hands, feet, and side – His scars. We are responsible for the scars on His body (our sins).
2. But He forgave us. He kept the scars so we could identify Him and so they would visibly demonstrate how much He loved us.
3. If we trust in Him as our Savior, He will wash away our sins and give us new hearts and lives. If you would like to do that, please raise your hands. Prayer.
