Can you imagine the emotional state, along with the nerve wrecking distress that Jesus Christ himself felt the day before he was nailed to the cross? Can you imagine the hours, down to the minutes, and then the seconds, that our Father counted till his ultimate sacrifice, and our ultimate salvation? Something we do not put a lot of time thinking about is the fact that Jesus was in great distress and troubled knowing his fate. Knowing the amazing perfection of Christ, it’s hard to imagine an emotional, and vulnerable Christ. Yet, the word of God makes this so clear to us.
In chapter 14 of Mark, as well as 22 of Luke, Jesus’ emotions are laid out for us. In Gethsemane Jesus goes to pray before his Father regarding his soon arriving fate.
Mark 14:33 states that he was deeply distressed and troubled, and the word even shows Jesus to be in such great anguish that his sweat is compared to drops of blood falling to the ground. {Luke v. 44}
Another amazing thing to point to is that in Mark, it states Jesus went back more than once to pray the same prayer [v.39], after he checked on his sleepy disciples.
Jesus prayed to God:
“Abba, Father, everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet, not what I will, but what you will.” [Mark v. 36]
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” [Luke 22:42]
Jesus was in despair, his sweat dripped from his face, and his soul was overwhelmed. One thing we can think of, to translate his emotional state, is how we ourselves are with suffering and the unsettling things that arise in our lives. Have you ever had a moment where your nerves were on edge. When sorrow and heaviness made your soul downcast? Not much can calm you. Despair and sorrow is something we can easily associate with. When we are deeply troubled, we too sweat. Our hands get clammy and our shirts soiled. (And these are just physical responses to distress.) Yet, Jesus was in such great distress, his sweat dripped off him profusely. He was “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death”[Mark 14:34], in his own words. I think I can confidently say, we don’t know that type of sorrow, despair, or suffering, that Jesus was faced with that night. The suffering and despair he felt, was not his own. It was for us to feel, yet he took it for us, along with the cross.
Suffering is something that we have all faced, or will at some time. It can range from even the smallest things to the greatest. Whether it’s a financial need, an emotional suffering, or even a physical one , everyone can resonate with the word, suffering. (Although, our sufferings may not be equal to Jesus’, God still sees our sufferings, and the tolls they take on us.)
You see, Jesus cleary didn’t want the cup (the cross), if there were another way. He tells God, standing in faith, “Everything is possible for you.” knowing that God could easily take his cup. Jesus was suffering, even before the real suffering had come upon him. He was suffering with the ticking clock. He was suffering knowing the pain he was about to be in, the humiliation he was about to receive, and the lack of strength his body was about to be feel. He knew his body would be crushed, he knew his blood was going to be poured out. He stated so during his last supper![Mark 14:22-24] He knew the pain was coming, and that troubled his soul, deeper than we will ever know.
He prayed before God more than once, the same prayer. An angel even came before him to strengthen him. (meaning that the heaviness of his suffering was making him weak.) In this moment, we see Jesus’ human form. We see a man, who holds the whole world’s well deserved sufferings on his very shoulders. A man who didn’t deserve any of it.
Yet, in this all, a beautiful thing is seen in his prayer to the Father.
One of the things I found the most beautiful in Jesus’ prayer, is his words:
“Yet, not what I will, but what you will.”
Jesus didn’t just ask God to take his fate from him, he ended his prayer with submission to God. In all his suffering, Jesus went before God, sharing his burden with him, and asking to take it, if possible. But with a simple phrase, he tells God, but I will do what you will, even if it’s not what I will.
There are times where my life has been “derailed”. Sometimes so many things are going on at the same time and it takes a toll on me. There have been times where, financially, I have no clue as to how I am going to get by. Take that and combine it with heartache and emotional distress, and you get a whole lot of suffering. We have moments where we go to God, and we say: “God why am I suffering this way?” or “God can’t you take this from me?”.
When moments of despair arise, it takes a heavy toll on us.
Just recently I came over that last part of Jesus’ prayer, a phrase I had read before, yet this time it spoke to me. I then prayed those same words back to God, and a burden felt lifted from me. I then started to pray the same prayer every time I felt the enemy using my situations and sufferings against me. When ever I felt anxiety or fear peak up. I would say, “Yes, this situation is hard, and my heart is in pain, but yet, not what I will, but yours Jesus.” In the chaos that surrounded me, saying those words to God made me feel like all my problems, even though they brought me pain and suffering, were under the hand of God, and that brought me peace. It also made me realize I didn’t have to figure them all out. If you look back to Paul the apostle, he said he had a thorn in his flesh (it’s never said what this was in his life), and he kept praying to God to remove it. Just like Jesus prayed more than once for his cup to be taken, if possible. Yet, God used this thorn in Paul’s life to his advantage. Paul learned just how weak he was without God, and how the strength of God is what he needed to depend on. It taught him humiliation before God. Hence Paul's boasting in his weaknesses, which brought glory to God.
Before Jesus’ words caught my attention, I would go to God over and over concerning my problems. They would arise everywhere in my life it seemed, and I was overwhelmed. Like Paul and Jesus, I would go to him with the same requests. I would beg him to take them all from me. In agony and tears, I would fall to my feet begging God. Still, they remained.
Yes, God can take our struggles from us. Yes, He can take our sufferings, and the pain they cause, and Yes he could have taken the cup from Jesus. But something we forget during these times, is God can also use them.
So, when I repeated the words of my best friend (Jesus) back to him, and told God, “not my will, but yours.” I also told him to build me through them (something I think he already had a jump on). God builds us through our sufferings. He strengthened Jesus when he had his moment of despair in Gethsemane, and he also strengthened Paul in his weakness. [2 Corinthians 12:7-10].
We HAVE to remember that God works everything for the good of those who love him [Romans 8:28]. HE doesn’t throw us into suffering without help! he gives us promises. His word is riddled with them! Jesus’ sufferings resulted in the salvation of men. It resulted in the most beautiful and powerful sacrifice to have ever happened. It resulted in a new meaning for the kingdom of God.
God uses our sufferings to not only better us, but teach us. He has used my past sufferings to show me discernment, to show me how to fully depend on him, and to show me how to stay connected to him, even during a storm. We can’t let our sufferings become a boulder in the road to our growing walk with God. When we gave our lives to God, we gave our LIVES to God!
The verse Matthew 16:24 says, “ Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”
When we gave our lives to God, we too picked up our crosses and denied ourselves to follow him. Now I’m not saying during our sufferings we can’t be sad, or emotional. We just can’t let them get in the way of everything God has for us. Our sufferings can’t be our focus, God has to be. When we focus everything on our sufferings, we stop following, and sit the cross down, and that's when satan can use our situations and emotions to lose faith. God will help our emotional state and our weaknesses. That’s what he does! He won’t leave us in a pit of despair. God is really the answer to everything in our lives. Sometimes we have to suck it up, say “Not my will be done, but yours God!” and carry our crosses, and keep on going. Yes, our sufferings are hard, but we have to remember and trust who God is and that his will or plans, will always lead us to what’s best for us! Another thing to remember is, if you ask God to grow you in areas such as faith, wisdom, discernment, etc. Guess what? He will! And a lot of times he uses our sufferings to do so. Our pain, sufferings, and problems are not forever. They will end, and they may come again, but God’s steadfast faithfulness, that my friends, is never ending.
Here's a prayer to pray if you are in a season of despair and suffering:
Father God, I know you can take all of my suffering, all of my agony and troubles. Still, if I am to walk through them, then “yet, not what I will, but what you will.” Give me the strength to walk through my sufferings. Teach me as I walk through them. Lead me and I will walk. I know you are faithful, and for that I put my life in your hands. Amen.
