SUPER DAD!
One little boy's definition of Father's Day went like this: "Well, it's just like Mother's Day, only you don't spend as much." Speaking of spending, someone once said, "A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be." For Mother's Day I titled my sermon Mom Strong, highlighting some of the ways moms are strong. In following that theme the Father's Day sermon is titled, Super Dad. Let's see how we fathers can be Super Dads.
1) A Super Dad leads the way.
Last week I talked about the gift of leadership. Dads are the leaders in the home. 1st Cor. 11:3, "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."
Although the father is the head of the house, his authority is to be seen as a godly responsibility; not as a license to run a family of slaves. A Super Dad takes responsibility for taking care of the family and looking out for the family's best interest.
Heb. 11:7, "By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith." Yes, this verse is about Noah's faith and yes, Noah built the ark because he believed God's warnings. But I think it's interesting that the writer of Hebrews puts in the phrase, 'to save his family'.
Noah had holy fear; he knew God meant what he said with the coming of the flood. But it wasn't just that reality that kept him building for over 100 years. It wasn't just God's command that allowed him to put up with the negative comments from those who thought he was insane for building a huge boat where there was no water around. I guarantee he often found the strength to carry on because he thought of his family and how their survival hinged on his determination to stay the course.
Working hard, making sacrifices, protecting, providing-these are all characteristics of being a good leader in the home. And being a good leader in the home involves setting the example of godly values. Our kids are watching and listening. They will develop their values through us.
Many sons look up to their father like a super hero. They think Dad can do anything. I looked at my father that way. I really did think my dad could beat up all the other dads. And whenever my father had something to say about anything related to building something or fixing something I took it as gospel; there's no way he could be wrong.
As I got older I realized that Dad wasn't perfect but I still looked up to him. We need to remember that our kids are looking to us to say the right thing and give the right instruction. Kids are impressionable; they don't think their dads could be wrong about anything. That's why it's so important that we fathers take our role seriously and with great humility.
As the family is looking to the father for guidance it's crucial that we consider everything we say and do and how it will affect the family. We need to pray and seek God's wisdom when making decisions. A good leader doesn't make selfish decisions; he cares about how it will affect the rest of the family. He gets input from his wife and perhaps the kids too. A Super Dad is a good leader.
2) A Super Dad encourages his kids.
The week before last I talked about the gift of encouragement. 1st Thess. 2:11-12, "For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory."
One of the greatest things a dad can do is encourage their kids. All three of these attributes work so well together to make such a big difference in the life of a kid. To hear your father encourage you to keep going, comfort you when you fall short and then urge you to get back up and get back in the game. This shows that the dad believes in the child. How much of an inspiration does a father give a child when they know dad believes in them?
Some years ago, in a military academy, the students mutinied, probably a reaction to the hard demands of such an environment. The students had struck in everything: lessons, study hours, drill. When word reached their parents, the students began to receive telegrams, which the principal had in his possession.
These messages were like a telescope through which one could look into the various kinds of boy’s homes and the parental relationships connected with them. One father wired his son, "You better obey." Another said, "If you are expelled from school, don't bother coming home." Still another said, "I’ll cut you off without a penny if you disgrace the family."
But the best message was couched in these brief words: "Steady, my boy, steady!" Now there was a father who was an encouragement to his son. He believed his son had the ability to endure and succeed.
When Jesus was baptized his Father said this as he was coming up out of the water. Matt. 3:17, "And a voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." God acknowledged his love and delight in Jesus.
Now I'm sure Jesus already knew the Father loved him and was well-pleased with him so this statement was probably more for the benefit of those who were there to confirm Jesus' legitimacy as the Messiah but think of how encouraging these words would be to hear from your father.
A lot of sons never heard their father say, "I love you" or, "I'm proud of you". They went through their lives never believing that their father was pleased with them. They never heard, "good job". Many sons spend their lives trying to do something to please their father; always looking for that acknowledgement.
When a kid knows that their dad loves them or is pleased with them or proud of them that gives them unbelievable joy and confidence. It changes the relationship. When a child knows their father accepts them and isn't always critiquing them or getting on them for the slightest thing the kid can feel at ease around their father. They're not always on edge or worried that dad could fly off the handle at any moment.
Eph. 6:4 says we fathers are not to exasperate our kids. To exasperate means to frustrate. When we discourage our kids we frustrate them. Col. 3:21, "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." To embitter means to make bitter. We don't want to do anything to make our kids bitter towards us. So we need to be conscientious about whether we are discouraging or encouraging our kids. If we want to be a Super Dad we need to encourage our kids.
3) A Super Dad is an action figure.
You remember playing with action figures, right? Whatever superhero we were into we usually went out and got the action figure. Although I doubt Mattel will ever make a Dad action figure, I need to be an action figure if I'm going be a Super Dad.
According to the pediatric journal Acta Paediatrica, active fathers and father figures play a key role in reducing behavior problems in boys and psychological problems in young women. Swedish researchers found regular positive contact reduces criminal behavior among children in low-income families and enhances cognitive skills such as intelligence, reasoning and language development. Children who lived with both a mother and father figure also had less behavioral problems than those who just lived with their mother.
These statistics are from Christianparty.net. * 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. * 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. * 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. * 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home.
Erma Bombeck, "I received a letter from a single mother who had raised a son who was about to become a dad. Since he had no recollection of his own father, her question to me was "What do I tell him a father does?" When my dad died in my ninth year, I, too, was raised by my mother, giving rise to the same question, "What do fathers do?"
As far as I could observe, they brought around the car when it rained so everyone else could stay dry. They always took the family pictures, which is why they were never in them. They carved turkeys on Thanksgiving, kept the car gassed up, weren’t afraid to go into the basement, mowed the lawn, and tightened the clothesline to keep it from sagging.
It wasn’t until my husband and I had children that I was able to observe firsthand what a father contributed to a child’s life. He’s a man who's constantly being observed by his children. They learn from him how to handle adversity, anger, disappointment and success. He won’t laugh at their dreams no matter how impossible they might seem.
He will go out at 1 a.m. when one of his children runs out of gas. He will make unpopular decisions and stand by them. When he is wrong and makes a mistake, he will admit it. He sets the tone for how family members treat one another, members of the opposite sex and people who are different than they are.
By example, he can instill a desire to give something back to the community when its needs are greater than theirs. But mostly, a good father involves himself in his kids’ lives. The more responsibility he has for a child, the harder it is to walk out of his life. A father has the potential to be a powerful force in the life of a child. Grab it!"
Studies have shown that fathers today are more involved in their kids' lives. In days of old Dad came home from work, ate dinner, then retreated to the living room to read the paper or watch TV. Saturdays were spent mowing the lawn or tinkering in the garage. All the work of child rearing was put on mom with Dad being there when it was time to discipline.
But today you see more dads taking time to be more involved in their kids' lives. Yes, unfortunately you have a lot of absentee fathers but in stable, two parent homes today you see more dads interacting and engaging with their kids; playing with them and helping with their homework.
Today being a good father means more than just working hard to provide for his family; it means working hard to spend time with his family. I'm not saying that dads from a couple generations ago were bad fathers. They loved their family very much but often times the personal relationship building wasn't there.
Mothers are typically more nurturing than fathers but you're starting to see where Dads are taking on a more nurturing role than in years past. You see more fathers helping with chores and changing diapers, feeding the kids and reading bedtime stories with them. A Super Hero Dad spends time with his kids.
The National Center for Fathering conducts Father of the Year Essay Contests in partnership with local schools and sponsoring organizations. In 2005, eight contests were held and altogether, over 100,000 school children submitted essays on the topic, "What My Father Means to Me." Below is a sampling of essays from past contests:
1st grader - "My dad is the best dad ever. I would kiss a pig for him." 3rd grader - "The dad in my life isn't really my dad. He's my Grandpa. But he's been like a dad to me since before I was born. . .I hope that as I get older Grandpa will teach me all the stuff he knows about wood, and first-aid, and everything else he knows about. My Grandpa isn't my Father, but I wouldn't trade him for all the dads in the world."
4th grader - "Sometimes as a joke I'll put my stinky socks in his briefcase, so at work the next day he will think of me! He's always at the concerts and plays that I'm in, even though he lives about an hour away." 5th grader - "You know what else my dad does? He braids my hair. I'm the only girl I know whose dad braids her hair. I think that's a perfect dad. He already is the world's greatest dad to me. I just wanted everyone to know that."
6th grader - "One time I had an assembly and I was a soloist and my dad was in the first row, and after my song I smiled at my dad, and my dad smiled back and started crying. That was the best thing I ever saw." Involved fathers make lasting impressions on their kids.
A survey was done of boys before Father's Day. The surveyors asked what the most important things about a father were. The answers were things like, he plays catch with me. He shows me his work. He takes me on errands with him. Every single answer in the top ten had to do with a father spending time with his son. It didn't matter whether they went to the Amusement Park or the Car Parts store, it only mattered they were together. A Super Dad plays an active role in the lives of their kids.
4) A Super Dad is a reflection of God.
Prov. 20:7, "The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him." A Sunday School teacher asked her young students to draw a picture of what they think God looked like. She observed one girl's picture and said, "Wait a minute, that looks like a man; not God!" "Well," the little girl responded, "I don't know what God looks like, but this is a picture of my daddy. And I'm sure God must look something like my daddy."
What kind of godly impression are we making on our kids? Do our kids see God in us? Austin L. Sorensen said, "A child is not likely to find a father in God unless he finds something of God in his father." I have talked with plenty of men that found it hard to relate to God on a fatherly level because they either didn't have their father in their life or if they did he was a poor example.
So for them it's easy to picture God like an absentee father or maybe a withdrawn father (there but not engaged) or worse, an abusive father (no love; just a strict disciplinarian). They can overcome this and get to the place where they can see God as the perfect father they never had but it can be a lengthy process.
It's much easier for kids to have a correct view of their heavenly father when their earthly father exhibits godly character. If you treat your kids with love and compassion then they will see God as loving and compassionate. Psalm 103:13-14, "As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust."
A compassionate father understands what it's like to be a kid. He understands that sometimes they don't think before they do something or their maturity level isn't like an adult's. So when the father understands how emotionally fragile kids are they will have more compassion on them. In doing so, they set the stage for them being able to relate to a compassionate heavenly Father.
If we listen to our kids when they talk then they will believe that God is listening when they talk to him. If they know when you're serious then they'll know that God is serious. If you enact fair but firm, loving discipline they will respect God's discipline.
Prov. 3:11-12, "My son, do not despise the LORD'S discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in." When a loving father enacts loving discipline, correcting the child because he delights in them and wants what's best for them, he does so in the way of righteousness.
He doesn't want to be harsh with them as he teaches them that certain behaviors are disrespectful or harmful to themselves and others. When the purpose to discipline is a way to make them more godly, like how and why the Lord disciplines us, then we are doing it the right way.
When our kids can see that the reason behind our discipline is love and godly character development then it will be easier for them to be able to receive the Lord's discipline in the same light. When they see that you love God it will be much easier for them to love God.
F.A.T.H.E.R.S. "F" aithful. "A" lways there. "T" rustworthy. "H" onoring. "E" ver-loving. "R" ighteous. "S" upportive. This is how our heavenly father is toward us and this is how we need to be toward our kids. A Super Dad is a reflection of God.
