FATHER, what’s in a word? Well, this is a very important word packed with qualities such as:
• Faithful,
• Admired,
• Tough,
• Helpful,
• Enthusiastic,
• And, Responsible.
These are just a few of the qualities that fathers should have, or strive to have. Let’s just call these qualities our first components for the acronym or word FATHER. AMEN
Now, we might kinda focus on the admired quality, but we shouldn’t get the meaning twisted, and think that we always have to be admired. Sometimes we have to “as God says” be the sheep.
Fathers have to be faithful and responsible. But before a father can be responsible for someone else, he must understand being responsible for himself. In other words, he must be mature. Not necessary mature dealing with “age”, but mature in the sense of wisdom and willingness to accept the fact that he might not know everything. AMEN
All around the world there are men that hold the title of father and are admired for what they do. However, are there really enough fathers in the picture and is just being admired what’s really needed. Jesus himself has never had a shortage of admirers in this world. People all around the world admire Jesus.
But did you know, you can read every verse in the bible, but you will not come across a single verse in which Jesus comes even close to saying,” Come admire me”, or “unless you admire me, you cannot be my disciple.”
Matthew 19:17 states: And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
Brothers and sisters, the word Father, encompasses the need to teach, to inspire, to love, and to bring the child up as a follower of Christ. AMEN
Right about now, you’re saying that my father was a little bit different. He might not have got everything right. He might not have met all those other qualities in the first acronym.
Well, I figure fathers are more alike than you imagine. Along with the first components of the “FATHER” acronym I mentioned earlier, there’s another. This one includes the words:
• Funny,
• Awkward,
• Thoughtful,
• Huggable,
• Encouraging,
• And, Real. AMEN
Just so you know, we may not be perfect, and yes we may be a little different, and for sure we might get a few things wrong, but through the eyes of our children we can be the best father ever. AMEN
My message today is ………… The Good Father.
As many of you know, today is Father’s Day. It's a day of appreciation for making your children finish something they said they couldn't do. Not believing them when they said, 'I hate you,' & sharing their good times & their bad times. It’s your day! It’s my day!
You waited all year for this day, so sit back and enjoy, because if you are a good father, or strive to be, you are special! AMEN
"Father’s Day is just like Mother’s Day, only they don’t spend as much on your gift." But I don’t believe the gift is all that it’s made out to be.
Sometimes the best gift is a silent one. Just knowing that your kids are growing into or has grown into a follower of Christ is the most powerful gift of all. That small notion can lift a father’s spirit any day of the year. AMEN
As a father, you have a role, and that role is to teach the child. Sometimes that lesson is hard, and the child doesn’t understand, but believe me, “farther along, they’ll understand why!
They may complain and mumble words like “you don’t know me” or “you don’t respect me”, or “you just don’t understand”. But the longer we live our lives as followers of Christ, the more chance we’ll have that our children will follow him also. After all a father that followers Christ is a “good father” indeed. AMEN
Proverbs 1:8 states: My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
Fathers and Dads, Pops, and Daddy, Guys and Fellas, whatever you call yourself, we all should focus on teaching, and showing our children the way. One of those things you teach and show, is respect.
If you read all the books on child rearing, the thing to remember is that in our rearing we should never humiliate or disrespect our children. Because if we do this, we just might be teaching them to do the same to others. AMEN
Kids and young adults, brothers and young men, likewise, you shouldn’t disrespect each other, or your parents, or other adults. God’s image is always worthy of respect. God is worthy of respect.
Ephesians 6:4 states “and, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord”.
Now, I’m also aware that Father’s Day may be a difficult time for some of us.
• Perhaps some of you haven’t had the best father in the world.
• Probably some of you have had a father who has died.
• Painfully some fathers have lost a child to death.
• Sadly some fathers feel the pain of an imprisoned child.
• Unfortunately some fathers have never spent time with their child.
• And some fathers may worry whether they messed up with trying to raise their child. AMEN
We have to do all that we can to bring our kids up the best we know how. I can remember when I put that swing-set together early Christmas morning. In the cold frosty morning I somehow forgot to anchor it down. I may never forget the look on my wife’s face when the front end of the swing would sort of lift up off the ground when the girls got a good swing in. They loved it, but clearly mom was not standing for it. But that swing got put together, no matter how cold it was, and you can’t take away the vision of the smiling eyes of my daughter when she went outside that morning and it was magically there. I was the “Bests Dad Ever” that day. AMEN
Brothers and sisters there’s no instruction manual, and there’s no guide as written by man. Unfortunately the best guide we have is overlooked and misunderstood. The best guide is in the book that has the greatest stories ever told, and the most powerful movies ever written. AMEN
Now, obviously parents want their kids to succeed. Clearly we want our kids to be the best that they can be. We want our kids to grow up to be responsible self-sufficient adults who are capable of taking care of them selves. Therefore, we can’t help but try too hard. So forgive us if we messed up a bit. We’re only human. AMEN
Deuteronomy 6:8 states: And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
We all want our kids to be successful. And this desire we have as parents raises a question. What describes a successful child? How do you measure success as a parent? How do you measure success as a father? The answer you have for these questions this morning, is in the evidence of how you’re raising your kids.
Yeah, every father wants their kids to be comfortable in life, to make enough money that they don’t have to worry about paying bills, or worrying about their future. Therefore, along with respect for others, we tend to stress a quality education.
We hope that they graduate from high school and go to a prominent or even prestigious college. You might even push them to consider law, medicine, business, specialty trades, or some other career that will provide a comfortable income. You want them to be self-sufficient adults.
But if we consider all this effort for a comfortable life, and forget about the comfort found in the bible, we’ve forgotten to teach them the basics. AMEN
Brothers and sisters, the world is full of temptations, all bright and shiny, just waiting for that unsuspecting kid to fall for that devil’s deal. We must understand that mistakes may be made along the way. We can only pray that something we taught them “kicks in” and lights the way to what’s right.
Deuteronomy 6:7 states: “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up”.
I use to jokingly tell my girls all the time that I don’t have a retirement plan, because they’re my retirement plan. One day we expect them to send us on vacations, or buy us those special gifts, and even one day, care for us, as we have cared for them.
You feel good as a parent when your kids are happy. Fathers feel real good. When they go to school you want them to get good grades, but, just as important as those grades is the time spent with others, and the experience gained while among different people from many walks of life. We should never teach a child, or show a child how to hate or bully. AMEN
Now, as a dad, you kinda want the child to try extra-curricular activities , and you should do everything you can to make sure they understand and enjoy the meaning of those activities as much as possible. You should also put in the time, the effort, the money, the inspiration, and the hurrahs when they make that first goal, or hit that first homerun.
I remember when we use to go to the different events at school. The one thing that I don’t think I will ever forget is the faces of the kids “looking around for someone”. You could tell when they found that dad or mom, because their faces would light up. Someone cared. Someone cared enough to just be there. AMEN
It’s structure, brothers and sisters, it’s structure that makes a difference. Even if the structure is a little behind the times, a little overwhelming, a little strange or a little silly, it makes a difference in our kids’ lives as they grow up to be adults, and start the cycle all over again. Our kids watch us, they learn from us. They follow us, and they need us. A large part of that structure is Christianity. So when we forsake our father’s house, they may learn to do the same. AMEN
Joshua 1:8 says: This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.
So:
• What if we measured our success as parents not by how much money they might make, but rather what they did with those blessings.
• What if we didn’t have to worry about how educated they would be, as much as how happy they were.
• What if the success in their life was not so much following that all mighty dollar, as much as following Christ Jesus?
• What if everything we did as parents, everything we did as a father; the money we spent, the time we invested, the way we structured our family life; was for this one purpose. To raise kids who are more in love with Jesus than they are with anything else.
Now, now, I think it's important for me to point out that this message isn't about how to raise your kids. I don't think that I'm a perfect parent, and I don't wanna tell someone else how to raise their children. I’m just here to deliver a message, a message that might just raise a thought of consciousness in someone that might need it, or have slipped away from that structure. AMEN
One thing I know for certain is that parents “know” their kids and we may not want to admit it, but we know ourselves too. We don’t have to repeat a cycle of wrong, when we know it’s wrong. We can fix it if we try. That’s why today’s parents and fathers should share thoughts and ideas. And fathers, even if you’re not in the home, you can be there in teachings. Try not to skip out on your blessings. AMEN
Brothers and sisters, there’s no manual, no book, other than the guidance given in the spiritual words of the bible that can bring true understanding concerning life. So instead of telling you what to do, my purpose is to share what the Bible says and then, share some basic Biblical principles that all of us can use, whether we are parents, or fathers, or not. One of the first principles is that you love God more than you love anything, or anyone else.
Deuteronomy 6:5 says: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Therefore, the first question we must ask ourselves as parents, as fathers, is “Do I love God more than anyone or anything else?”
If you don’t know the answer to that question, or maybe feel uncomfortable asking it, I can guarantee you one thing. Your kids know the answer.
Even if you don’t have kids, or your kids are grown, and you think this is all irrelevant to you, then consider the relationships in your life. You just might be able to nurture another life in the right direction just by sharing your story.
1 Timothy 6:18 states: That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate.
The arrangement is Kids follow you, you follow Christ, Therefore your primary responsibility to Jesus is to do everything you can to show who Jesus is, to talk about who Jesus is, and to live for Jesus in every facet of your life, simply because you love God. AMEN
1 John 4:8 says: “ He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love”.
Brothers and sisters, God makes it clear that parents, and yes, Fathers, have the responsibility of teaching the Bible to their kids. In a very real way, that makes dad and mom the pastors of their home. Dads are supposed to be the primary teachers. Unfortunately, today, even in homes where there is a mom and dad, and both are Christians, dads aren’t the primary teacher anymore. We’ve slipped on family structure. MY LORD
Most of our single moms know that there’s a problem. They understand that there’s a small amount of mentoring and training taking place in the home, and, there are a lot of activities going on outside of the home that will affect the character of their kids.
Some of our moms do their best at tweaking their lifestyle and activities. They make a couple of minor changes to what’s allowed, and step up the “strong will character” in order to encourage good relationship building. Fathers have to do the same. AMEN
Proverbs 22:6 states: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Brothers and sisters, I believe, that I should teach in a manner that enhances a parent’s ability to be a better spiritual leader in their home. And I’m convinced that this is what it’s gonna take to raise our kids to be followers of Jesus, and good and productive citizens in this society.
When Paul tells Titus, “The older teach the younger.” It just doesn’t get any clearer than that.
Titus 2:2-3 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
Here’s the thing though, church leaders, and parents, including myself, we all feel inadequate, sometimes. We don't know if we have enough Bible knowledge to teach our kids. And that’s why I need you to please hear what I’m saying.
Parenting or Fathering isn't about knowing more; the greatest command is to love God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind and to love others. The Biblical concept that your home is the church is more about how you live than what you know.
1 Corinthians 6:19 states: What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
The Bible isn't a book only to be studied. The Word of God is life to be experienced. If the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind, then the second is surely to love others. The way you love as a parent is going to teach your child what God wants. “LOVE”.
Guess what my fathers, your child is gonna watch you love God. They’ll emulate how you love God. They’ll watch how you love others. They’ll mimic how you treat others. Therefore, when you love God and love others, your children will more than likely do as you have done. AMEN
In addition, if you approach the Bible as a book that you have to read, or a bunch of rules that you have to memorize, then that’s how your kids will approach it, too. Let them know that the Bible has the greatest stories ever told, and the most powerful movies ever written. Encourage them to pick it up and start to read and by all means, ask questions. AMEN
Colossians 3:16-17 says: Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
Now, I’ve already said that it’s not my intent to tell you how to raise your kids. I can’t tell you how to be a good father. I don’t wanna give you a bunch of rules that would kind of defeat the point. I’m hoping that if I provide Biblical principles for you, then you’ll prayerfully consider your own journey as a parent, and take inventory of your priorities, and make changes where you need to. AMEN
So, while I don’t wanna tell you what to do, I’ll take a minute to share an example with you, because it’s what I know.
My wife and I decided early on in our marriage that one of our priorities raising our kids was to make sure that, as much as possible; we shared our spirituality with them. We wanted our kids to experience our life in Jesus as we were experiencing it.
Now, I’m not gonna tell you that they all wanted to go to Church, or listen, or to do outreach ministry services, but because they didn’t have much of a choice, they participated in things like”:
• building a home for someone in need,
• or learning that part for that Christmas church play,
• understanding the specialness of “Special Needs Kids”
• And listing to me sing gospel songs all of their lives.
Our heart and passion was to share the love of Jesus with our kids as a family, because the way My wife and I measure success as parents is for our kids to love God more than anything else. Why? Because God loves us! AMEN
Matthew 19: 29 says: And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.
On a humorous note: There are a few saying that fathers sometimes say, and later on in life these may be some of your greatest and funniest memories:
• This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.
• Quiet. I’m watching the game.
• You better bring back all the change.
• How should I know? Ask your mother.
• No, my name is not daddy money bags!
• When I was your age I walked 5 miles to and from school each day and it was uphill both ways.
• You are going and you will have fun!
• Who’s paying the bills around here, anyway?
• Don’t put your feet on the sofa. Your mother will kill you.
• Be quiet! Can’t you see I’m trying to think!
• Why? Because I said so!
• If you don’t quit that, I’m going to call your mother.
• You better get that junk picked up before your mother comes in here.
• Just wait till you have kids of your own.
• And, I wasn’t sleep. I was just resting my eyes. AaaaaaaaMAN
Brothers and sisters, fatherhood can be the greatest time of your life, but to seal the deal, you have to study the Bible, and inspire your kids to do the same. Studying the Bible is a vital part of understanding life.
I also know that we can’t study the Bible for our kids. They need to study for themselves, and more importantly, they must want to. They won’t really study the Bible if we make it a rule. And we mustn’t ignore them when they ask questions concerning Jesus. We are the teachers, own it, and take charge as fathers should. AMEN
A parent can’t be a follower of Jesus for their kids. Our kids will ultimately have to make their own decisions and choices. But I continue to pray that my kids, and your kids, sons, and daughters, and prayerfully, their kids, will grow up to be followers of Christ, as they grow up experiencing Jesus for themselves.
Brothers and sisters, I believe that once a person discovers Jesus for real, they won’t ever leave that relationship. That relationship will be both nourishing to our soul and a binding force that will help us to be the “good father”.
John 6:51 states: I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.
Now, one more thing! My wife and I knew we didn’t know everything about raising kids, so we also paid attention to parents who have raised preachers, elders, missionaries, and followers of Jesus.
We’ve tried to follow the practices of parents who raised kids who were the kind of followers of Jesus as adults we wanted our kids to be. And we ourselves learned from them, because when we got married, we were just kids ourselves. AMEN
Of course we may have tweaked things a bit, because every kid is different. They learn different, they admire different things, and you have to find out what excites them, and build on that area. And I can guarantee that we made a few mistakes along the way. But we thank God for all the wisdom, the protection, the guidance and the love he provided AMEN
As I bring this message to a close.
Brothers and sisters, and all fathers in the house, I hope and pray that if you’re a parent with kids at home, you’ll consider ultimate success as your kids growing up as Christians and followers of Jesus, not followers of the world and its sometimes devilish dealings.
Matthew 19:21 states: Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
Jesus didn’t ask this person to give away all that he had for nothing. He said give it in exchange for treasure in heaven.
My fathers, whatever you invest in the kingdom pay dividends for all eternity. Invest in your life, invest in your kid’s life, invest in spirituality, and invest in becoming “The Good Father”. AMEN
Jesus says the benefits of walking in a close relationship with me, outweighs what having money can do in your life. When you walk in the right direction, your kids will more than likely follow you.
God says, in Christ, you are enough to be pleasing in God’s sight. So:
• Teach your sons and daughters that God is…
• Teach them to give back.
• Teach them to give their all without desiring the glory.
• Teach them to be willing to do what Christ commands us to do!
• Teach them to be willing to surrender and submit their lives to Christ.
• Teach them to be willing to serve and sacrifice in order to accomplish the Father's will.
• Teach them to offer the Lord their best.
• Let them know that in loving God, He’ll open doors for them they never imagined. AMEN
So, Fathers’, real fathers, “good fathers”, enjoy your day. It may not be as glamorous as mother’s day, but you can rejoice in the fact that you, who are fathers, are loved. God loves you!
My brothers, all my fathers, and fathers to be, we should all understand just how much:
• Faith it takes to be a father.
• How much talent it takes to be Admired as a father,
• How Tough it is to be a good father,
• How hard it is to be Helpful, when others forsake you as a father.
• How you have to be Enthusiastic about life even if it lets you down as a father.
• How much effort it takes to be a Responsible father.
We shouldn’t mind so much:
• That we’re a little Funny sometimes.
• That we feel a little Awkward trying to do that father thing.
• That we were Thoughtful enough to put that swing together even if we forgot the anchors.
• That sometimes the kids just want that Huggable dad to make them feel loved.
• That Encouraging comes in many forms, and sizes, and actions, and we might overdo it sometimes.
• And, we shouldn’t mind that we are only human, that we are just “Real” men trying to be “Good Fathers”. AMEN
Someone once said “Your kids remember what you do 'with' them a lot longer than what you do 'for' them”.
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