TRY FORGIVENESS
INTRODUCTION
Ephesians 4:31 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:” Ephesians 4:32 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
forgiving = “charizomai” --“to bestow a favour unconditionally, is used of the act of forgiveness, whether Divine, or human” (Derickson’s Notes On Theology)
Forgiveness is not an option. Forgiveness is required for those who have been forgiven; we are not given the luxury of holding on to our bitterness towards other people (David Guzik)
Confession [to God for forgiveness] is for correcting things with God. However, if the sin affected others, you must correct things with them as well. Indeed, the correction with others must be a part of correction with God. Confession of your wrong and seeking of forgiveness from others that your sin has affected is necessary. (Derickson’s Notes On Theology)
Forgiveness is something that from others we most enjoy, but toward others we least employ.
Ray Stedman
Forgiveness is not easy, but it is necessary. WWW
If you don’t forgive, you fall into the trap of an unforgiving spirit.
I. CHARACTERISTICS OF AN UNFORGIVING SPIRIT (Not completely defining alone.)
A. Restless -- Never able to settle down. (There are many
people who are tossed like a small boat on the waves of the sea. Like the sea, they have low tides and high tides, yet the waves never cease.)
1. Run from job to job.
2. Move from apartment to apartment.
B. Always being hurt by somebody .
C. Have a hard time making friends.
II. THE ATTITUDE OF AN UNFORGIVING SPIRIT
A. They think they are better than other people.
(They owe me an apology. I never did anything to
apologize for.)
B. Other people make mistakes, but they never do.
C. They are super-sensitive.
1. They take very personally what other people say
and do.
(One extreme allows every word spoken to go right
over their head. The other extreme dissects every word looking for an attack.)
2. They become suspicious of others motives and feel
that somebody is going to hurt them (emotionally).
D. They withdraw and become a spectator rather than a
participant. This explains why unforgiving people are
usually lonely, critical, nervous people.
III. RESULTS OF AN UNFORGIVING SPIRIT
A. An unforgiving spirit doesn’t hurt the other person;
it hurts you.
1. A person with an unforgiving spirit will build up
aggression on the inside.
(Anger turned inward is almost always destructive.)
2. Many people who carry grudges and harbor malice are
filled with hostility.
3. They are unable to laugh off the little problems that
people sometimes cause; they take these matters seriously and build them into big issues.
4. If somebody pushes ahead of them on the bus, they take
it personally and declare war.
5. If nobody really causes any trouble, the unforgiving
people can usually imagine something and invent a problem to fight about.
B. To harbor grudges, to cultivate malice toward another
person, to refuse to forgive--all of these poison the inner man and produce spiritual and emotional sickness that no
man-made medicines can cure.
IV. REQUIREMENTS TO FORGIVING
A. In order to truly forgive, you first have to be forgiven.
I John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just
to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Psalm 86:5 “For thou, Lord, [art] good, and ready to
forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that
call upon thee.”
B. You must forgive others, to maintain forgiveness.
Matt. 6:12 “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive
our debtors.”
Matt. 6:14 “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Matt. “6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
This is the invariable rule by which God dispenses pardon. He that comes before him unwilling to forgive, harboring dark and revengeful thoughts, how can he expect that God will show him that mercy which he is unwilling to show to others? If we cannot from the heart forgive them, we have the assurance that God will never forgive us. (Barnes’ Notes)
Mark 11:25 “And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye
have ought against any: that your Father also which is
in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged:
condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive,
and ye shall be forgiven:”
C. You must forgive others repeatedly.
A. Peter’s Problem with Forgiveness
Matt. 18:21 “Then came Peter to him, and said,
Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me,
and I forgive him? till seven times?”
1. Peter, in light of what Jesus has been saying about
agreement and unity, tries to sound extremely loving by suggesting forgiving a repentant brother up to seven times when three times was the accepted limit taught by the Rabbis. (David Guzik)
2. Jesus' answers unexpectedly, saying that we are
to forgive the repentant an unlimited number of times (surely He didn't mean to have us count to 490) (David Guzik)
B. The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
READ Matt. 18:23 -
1. Though commentators list the modern value of
10,000 talents as anywhere between $12 million
and $1 billion, the figure clearly represents an unpayable debt (David Guzik)
I owed a debt I could not pay. He (Christ) paid
a debt he did not owe.
2. The forgiven servant confronts another man about
a debt of 100 denari (which was equal to 100
day's wages), which was not an insignificant amount, but nothing compared to what was forgiven him by the master. (David Guzik) (Some say about $20)
C. Torment
Matt. 18:35 “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do
also unto you, if ye from your hearts [not just from the lips] forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”
1. In this world for not forgiving.
2. In the world to come. (?)
V. CULTIVATING A FORGIVING SPIRIT
A. Spend time daily with the Lord and His Word and in prayer.
This will allow you to see yourself how you really are.
As you get closer to God, you will see your own shortcomings and need for forgiveness.
No man can possibly offend me to the extent that my sins
have offended God; this principle must be applied in the
little things done to us, but also to the great things done unto us. (David Guzik)
B. Fellowship with the Lord on a daily basis will teach you
how loving and gracious He really
is and what it cost Him to forgive you.
C. Let the Spirit of God generate the kind of love that it
takes to forgive others. The fruit of the Spirit is love. You and I cannot manufacture forgiveness; it is something God does within us as we yield to Him.
D. Realize how costly it is to have an unforgiving spirit.
1. Of damaging Self
Hannah More wrote, “A Christian will find it cheaper
to pardon than to resent. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.”
2. In Being Chastened by God
Much of the chastening that we as Christians undergo
can be traced to our hard and oftentimes relentless
attitude toward those who have offended us; who
knows how much blessing and fruit is hindered among us because of unforgiveness? (David Guzik)
Colossian 3:13 “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also [do] ye.”
He who forgives ends the quarrel. African Proverb
“I can forgive, but I cannot forget,” is only another way of saying, “ I cannot forgive.” Henry Ward Beecher: Life Thoughts
VI. THE GREATEST EXAMPLE OF FORGIVENESS
Christ being crucified: The greatest example.
Luke 23:34 “Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.”
The Bumps Are What You Climb On “Try Forgiveness” pg 101, Warren W. Wiersbe
VII. HAVE YOU BEEN FORGIVEN?
WHAT IS FORGIVENESS OF SIN?
It is God’s passing by sin, wiping off the score and giving us a discharge. Micah 7:18.
THE NATURE OF FORGIVENESS WILL MORE CLEARLY APPEAR, BY OPENING SOME SCRIPTURE PHRASES; AND BY LAYING DOWN SOME PROPOSITIONS.
(1) To forgive sin, is to take away iniquity. ‘Why dost thou not take away mine iniquity?’ Job 7:21. Hebrew, lift off. It is a metaphor taken from a man that carries a heavy burden which is ready to sink him, and another comes, and lifts it off, so when the heavy burden of sin is on us, God in pardoning, lifts it off from the conscience, and lays it upon Christ. ‘He has laid on him the iniquity of us all.’ Isaiah 53:6.
(2) To forgive sin, is to cover it. ‘Thou hast covered all their sin.’ Psalm 85:2. This was typified by the mercy-seat covering the ark, to show God’s covering of sin through Christ. God does not cover sin in the Antinomian sense, so as he sees it not, but he so covers it, that he will not impute it.
(3) To forgive sin, is to blot it out. ‘I am he that blotteth out thy transgressions.’ Isaiah 43:25. The Hebrew word, to blot out, alludes to a creditor who, when his debtor has paid him, blots out the debt, and gives him an acquittance; so when God forgives sin, he blots out the debt, he draws the red lines of Christ’s blood over it, and so crosses the debt-book.
(4) To forgive sin is for God to scatter our sins as a cloud. ‘I have blotted out as a thick cloud thy transgressions.’ Isaiah 44:22. Sin is the cloud, an interposing cloud, which disperses, that the light of his countenance may break forth.
(5) To forgive sin, is for God to cast our sins into the depths of the sea, which implies burying them out of sight, that they shall not rise up in judgement against us. ‘Thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.’ Micah 7:19. God will throw them in, not as cork that rises again, but as lead that sinks to the bottom.
THOMAS WATSON FIRST PUBLISHED AS PART OF A BODY OF PRACTICAL DIVINITY
1692
THE NATURE OF FORGIVENESS WILL FURTHER APPEAR BY LAYING DOWN SOME PROPOSITIONS RESPECTING IT.
(1) Every sin deserves death, and therefore needs forgiveness.
(2) It is God only that forgives sin. Mark 2:7
(3) Forgiveness of sin is purely an act of God’s free grace. There are some acts of God which declare his power, as making and governing the world; others that declare his justice, as punishing the guilty; others that declare his free-grace, as pardoning sinners.
(4) Forgiveness is through the blood of Christ. Free grace is the inward moving cause. Christ’s blood is the outward cause of meriting pardon. ‘In whom we have redemption through his blood.’ Ephesians 1:7. All pardons are sealed in Christ’s blood. The guilt of sin was infinite, and nothing but that blood which was of infinite value could procure forgiveness.
(5) In forgiveness of sin, God remits the guilt and penalty. When God pardons a soul, he will not reckon with him in a purely vindictive way; he stops the execution of justice.
(6) By virtue of this pardon God will no more call sin to remembrance.
‘Their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.’ Hebrews 8:12.
(7) Sin is not forgiven till it be repented of.
(8) The greatest sins come within the compass of forgiveness.
(9) When God pardons a sinner, he forgives all sins.
(10) Faith necessarily precedes forgiveness.
(11) Though justification and sanctification are not the same, yet God never pardons a sinner but he sanctifies him. Justification and sanctification are not the same. Justification is without us, sanctification is within us. The one is by righteousness imputed, the other is by righteousness imparted. Justification is equal, sanctification is gradual.
(12) Where God remits sin, he imputes righteousness.
(13) They whose sins are forgiven must not omit praying for forgiveness.
(14) A full absolution from all sin is not pronounced till the day of judgment.
