Chico Alliance Church
Pastor David Welch
Impossible Love Part 5 or “Unhypocritical Love” Romans 12
Just in case you thought you slid by the impossible list of love’s characteristics in 1 Corinthians 13, Paul provides some further characteristics of genuine love in his letter to the Romans. Genuine love has to do with a desire and decision to meaningfully connect with people. It is selfless rather than selfish. It is giving rather than grabbing. It focuses on others rather than self. God is love. Love is from God. When we walk by the direction and power of the Holy Spirit the essential result will be a desire and decision to meaningfully connect with people evidenced by sacrificial deeds or actions.
Every failure to love like Jesus begins with a selfish desire and decision to put self first. Every conflict grows out of the soil of selfish ambition and jealous. When we talk about loving people and yet few of the characteristics of genuine love can be identifies it is not love. All genuine love bears the characteristics of love. This is the real thing.
Try selling a product that claims to be the genuine thing but bears no resemblance to the real thing. Try selling ice milk in Hagen Das containers. What we call love is like sawdust in Ben and Jerry’s containers. We claim our actions have the characteristics of a lovely rose but in reality have only characteristics of a prickly thistle. To talk about love without living love is hypocrisy. Paul urged the Roman believers to love without hypocrisy. The word was used by the Geeks for an actor or one who played a part.
John encouraged his readers to genuinely love people.
Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. 1 John 3:18
Paul strongly urged the Romans to renew their thinking and living regarding their relationship with God and people.
Transformed living always follows renewed thinking.
Paul calls for transformed living in regard to our relationship with God and people.
I. Dedicate yourselves fully to God 12:1-2
Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
II. Relate properly to the body of Christ 12:3-8
For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.
? Don’t think more highly of yourself than you ought to think but think soberly.
? God measures out and energizes special gifting in the body according to His will.
? The body consists of many members.
? Everyone fulfills a different function in the body.
? We are connected to one body.
? Each member of the body is vitally linked and affected by the other members.
III. Practice unhypocritical love
A. Regarding evil – continually abhorring
Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhorring what is evil; cling to what is good. Romans 12:9
Anything contrary to God’s righteous standard would be considered evil. Hurtful or grievous words, attitudes, actions, body language, neglect, hurtful things, refusal to meet basic needs. Unhypocritical love not only avoids but abhors anything that may damage relationships.
“abhorring” = a strong word meaning to shudder with repulsion, to have a strong dislike for someone or something, to hate or despise, loathe. What makes you shudder? Think of something so detestable that you actually shudder. That is how genuine love reacts to the things that negatively affect community. How many attitudes or actions or thoughts have you allowed to remain in your own life that you should be abhorring?
Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil;
Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness;
Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!
Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes
And clever in their own sight!
Woe to those who are heroes in drinking wine and valiant men in mixing strong drink… Isaiah 5:20-22
"The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I hate. Proverbs 8:13
Hypocritical love tolerates and excuses evil.
Genuine love abhors evil.
B. Regarding the good – continually clinging
“Cling” be glued or joined to, be powerfully attached or connected to, be associated with, be a servant. The word was used to indicate a sexual joining.
Don’t be “joined” to a prostitute.
Married couples are to leave and “cleave” to each other
This word is most always found in the passive form indicating an action done to us rather than that we do. I.e. “be attached or associated, be connected to, be glued to. Actively and continually abhor and avoid the evil things that destroy community. Be completely associated with, stuck to and continually demonstrating the good things that develop community. I would add not only passively be glued to it but actively embrace it. Double bonding to the good.
Hypocritical love compromises the good.
Genuine love clings for life to what is good.
C. Regarding friendships – warmly embracing as a family member
…devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; Romans 12:10
“…In regard to the friendship love (philia) toward one another we should be warmly affectionate as a cherished member of the family (philia / storge).”
“Love one another warmly as Christian brothers and sisters.”
Hypocritical love discriminates who they warmly consider family.
Genuine love warmly embraces every believer as a family member.
D. Regarding honor – leading the way
The Verb (i.e. Honor the Lord) = to pay homage to, to hold in high regard, revere or reverence, reward, value, prize, set a price or estimate a value, appraise, treasure, esteem, appreciate, cherish
We acknowledge value in others
By assigning value
By appreciating value
We affirm value to others
Hypocritical love dishonors with words and actions and attitudes.
Genuine love leads the way in showing and honor to one another.
E. Regarding service
not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; Romans 12:11
1. Persistent – continually pressing forward
“diligence” = speed, haste, zeal, passion, seriousness, urgency, eagerness, dedication, readiness
The persistent and passionate pursuit of divine directives in spite of discouraging difficulties.
In regard to your dedication and service to Christ and the body, don’t be lazy.
“sluggish” = shrinking, hesitating, backward, troublesome, sluggish, idle, lazy, indolent, not active, bothersome, lagging behind, slothful, (sloth like), slow and poky.
The tendency to remain where we are in life
instead of moving toward where we should and could be.
Diligence is the natural and expected result of conversion. That is what is so wonderful about a new Christian. They are eager and zealous about their new relationship with God.
Hypocritical love serves as they feel like it.
Unhypocritical love keeps on seeking to initiate, develop or restore meaningful connection and engages in fervent service no matter what.
2. Passionate – boiling over in the spirit
“to boil or seethe, eagerness, burning zeal, spiritual glow, show enthusiasm, have great fervor, be hot, to well up.” Used of boiling water, cooked meat, glowing sand, stormy sea, fermenting wine, fervent Christians. In regard to how we serve the Lord it is to be the result of the Holy Spirit boiling our life into spiritual steam that will energize whole cities.
Hypocritical love is lazy and has lost the fervor of the Spirit.
Genuine love serves by the passion of the Spirit.
3. Purposeful – serving for the Lord
Paul uses the word for a slave here. Our purpose in life is to give our attention to accomplishing the directives of the Master. Love keeps a focus on serving Jesus. We love for the sake of Jesus. We sacrifice for the sake of Jesus. We serve for the sake of Jesus. His agenda is our purpose in life.
Hypocritical love serves to get ahead or with selfish motives.
Genuine love serves as to the Lord.
F. Regarding difficult times
rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, Romans 12:12
1. Rejoicing in hope -- Maintain eternal perspective!
2. Enduring tribulation -- Never give up!
3. Devoting to prayer -- Pray persistently
G. Regarding saints in need 12:13
contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Romans 12:13
1. Generously shares resources
2. Eagerly shows hospitality
Hypocritical love withholds resources and grudgingly offers hospitality.
Genuine love generously shares resources and eagerly shows hospitality.
H. Regarding difficult people 14-21
A majority of Christians don’t respond anywhere near what we will find here in the face of relational difficulty.
Hypocritical love…
? Speaks evil of them to others.
? Rejoices at their suffering, resent their success.
? Ignores and avoids them if at all possible
? Convinces yourself how much better you are than they are.
? Does to them as they do to you (return evil for evil)
? Instigates things that you know bother and irritate them
? Makes no effort to make peace - waits for them to come to you
? Figures out some way to avenge yourself ignoring any glaring needs in their life
? Allows the thoughts of their evil actions to consume you & eventually conquer you.
1. Speak well, not ill 12:14
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
2. Identify with their circumstances
“…to rejoice with those rejoicing, to weep with those weeping.” Romans 12:15
3. Apply the same standard you use for yourself
“Be of the same mind toward one another”
Literally this verse reads “be thinking the same thing toward one another.” This is different than other verses promoting unity among believers. Be thinking the same thing AMONG one another or develop a common goal or thinking. This is, “be thinking the same thing TOWARD one another.” That is, as one commentator put it, “having in mind for another the same thing that under like circumstances one has in mind for oneself. I am to want you to have what, if I were in your position, I should want myself to have.”
4. Don’t think yourself better but be willing to work with others.
do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Romans 12:16
5. Don’t be a know it all.
“Do not be wise in your own estimation.” 12:16
6. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone ever!
“Never pay back evil for evil to anyone”
7. Give thought to what is good for others.
“Respect what is right in the sight of all men.”
8. Live in peace by all means possible if at all possible.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
9. Never avenge yourself
“Never take your own revenge, beloved”
Besides the prohibition concerning vengeance, Paul adds two admonitions.
1 - Let God do His thing to them.
but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.
Stay out of God’s way. God alone sees all that needs to be done and can perfectly deal with life’s injustices. Besides leaving the vengeance to God, Paul instructs us to no only speak well of those who persecute us and hurt us but to…
2 - Let us do well to them.
"But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Romans 12:19-20
The opposite of seeking retribution is seeking ministry. Be feeding the hungry Be causing to drink the thirsty.
10. Don’t be conquered by the evil but conquer the evil by doing the good
“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” 12:21
For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. 1 Peter 2:20
Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right. 1 Peter 4:12-19
I. Regarding Government – submit 13:1-7
Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience' sake. For because of this you also pay taxes, for rulers are servants of God, devoting themselves to this very thing. Render to all what is due them: tax to whom tax is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.
Hypocritical love dishonors the government and tries to avoid homage.
Genuine love Obeys – Pays—Honors
J. Regarding our neighbor – A.C.T.S. 13:8-10
Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law. For this, "YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, YOU SHALL NOT MURDER, YOU SHALL NOT STEAL, YOU SHALL NOT COVET," and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, "YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF." Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Hypocritical love passes by those in need.
Genuine love does what we learned from Jesus concerning our neighbor.
? Concerned Awareness
? Deeply felt Compassion
? Healing Touch
? Personal Sacrifice
K. Regarding the Lord’s return – 13:11-14
Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.
1. Perceive the times
a) It is past time to wake up.
b) The opportunity to witness concerning salvation is nearly over.
c) The kingdom of darkness is on its way out…
2. Practice the truth
a) Love your neighbor as yourself
b) Live by the truth not the darkness.
c) Live honorably not sinfully.
d) Embrace deeper relationship with Jesus while ignoring the screams of the flesh.
"Awake, sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, Ephes. 5:14-18
Hypocritical love is so wrapped up in the temporal that they ignore the eternal.
Genuine love not only perceives the evil of our times and the coming of the Lord but lives in light of it.
L. Regarding our personal differences 14:1-15:7
Believe as I believe, No more, no less;
That I am right, And no one else, confess;
Feel as I feel, Think only as I think;
Eat what I eat, And drink what I drink;
Look as I look, Do always as I do;
Then, and only then, Will I fellowship with you.
Hypocritical love
? Writes people off because of their differences
? Tries to make everyone conform to their ideas and convictions
? Breaks others down and judges
? Judges others for their behavior while failing to live by their own convictions.
? Is only concerned about what pleases them.
? Fails to keep others in their prayers.
? Rejects people because they are different or struggling.
? Speaks cursing rather than blessing.
1. Embrace each other in spite of differences 14:1-4
Now accept the one who is weak in faith, but not for the purpose of passing judgment on his opinions. One person has faith that he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats vegetables only. The one who eats is not to regard with contempt the one who does not eat, and the one who does not eat is not to judge the one who eats, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
2. Focus on personal convictions and motives 14:5-12
One person regards one day above another, another regards every day alike. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind. He who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and he who eats, does so for the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who eats not, for the Lord he does not eat, and gives thanks to God. For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself; for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living. But you, why do you judge your brother? Or you again, why do you regard your brother with contempt? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written,
"As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to Me, and every tongue shall give praise to God."
So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.
3. Build each other up don’t break each other down 14:13-21
Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this—not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way. I know and am convinced in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but to him who thinks anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. For if because of food your brother is hurt, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy with your food him for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let what is for you a good thing be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who in this way serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. So then we pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats and gives offense. It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles.
4. Live by your own convictions 22
The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and whatever is not from faith is sin.
5. Focus on pleasing others not self 15:1-4
Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves. Each of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to his edification. For even Christ did not please Himself; but as it is written, "THE REPROACHES OF THOSE WHO REPROACHED YOU FELL ON ME." For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.
6. Pray for Family unity 15:5-6
Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus, so that with one accord you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
7. Welcome one another” 15:7-12
Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God. For I say that Christ has become a servant to the circumcision on behalf of the truth of God to confirm the promises given to the fathers, and for the Gentiles to glorify God for His mercy; as it is written,
"THEREFORE I WILL GIVE PRAISE TO YOU AMONG THE GENTILES, AND I WILL SING TO YOUR NAME."
Again he says,
"REJOICE, O GENTILES, WITH HIS PEOPLE."
And again,
"PRAISE THE LORD ALL YOU GENTILES, AND LET ALL THE PEOPLES PRAISE HIM."
Again Isaiah says,
"THERE SHALL COME THE ROOT OF JESSE, AND HE WHO ARISES TO RULE OVER THE GENTILES, IN HIM SHALL THE GENTILES HOPE."
8. Bless one another 15:13
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Application
How did you do? Is your love genuine or hypocritical? It that real ice cream in your carton? When people observe your love do they see a rose or a thistle?
The fruit of the Spirit is selfless love along with all the related relationship builders.
The deeds of flesh are selfish ambition along with all the related relationship blockers.
Walk by the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh.
Walk by the Spirit an you will fulfill the longings of the Spirit of god for meaningful relationship with God and people.
