Chico Alliance Church
Pastor David Welch
“Impossible Love” Part Three
Introduction
The current stop in our exploration of Paul’s letter to the believers meeting in Corinth written a couple thousand years ago deals with love.
The principles taught here are as relevant to the health of relationships today as they were two thousand years ago.
Genuine love is NOT cultural.
Genuine love comes from the eternal character of God.
1 Corinthians 13 has been dubbed the “love” chapter.
Here Paul does not really define love but describes how genuine love acts in real life.
If our response to others does not bear these characteristics it is NOT genuine love.
Love is a general term that embodies everything positive about a relationship with another human.
I. Terms of Endearment
II. A better way to go
1. Inadequate love
a) Conditions
If I have supernatural…
Ability to speak more eloquently than any person and even if I speak with the heavenly language of angels…
Prophecy and have the ability to interpret all the mysteries of life…
Knowledge to understand and explain how everything works…
Faith so as to transfer Mount Rainer to another State
If I give…
All my possessions to feed the poor
My body to be sacrificed on behalf of others
“but”
do not continually demonstrate, have, possess, or desire to truly care and connect with people
b) Conclusions
My abilities and actions become only an irritating sound to the people who listen.
I become of no eternal significance. (I am nothing)
I personally gain nothing in terms of eternal value or reward.
Love describes the interaction and connection with people.
Without meaningful interaction with people, there cannot be genuine love.
Love has to do with a passion to meaningful connect and related to people of all kinds.
It is a genuine desire to be involved in the life of someone else.
If this love is a decision and passion that emanates from our inner core and has little to do with the character others, then failure to love is a melt down or disconnect between me and God.
In fact Scripture indicates we do not truly love God if we don’t love those He created.
Biblical love is a divinely motivated decision to persistently pursue meaningful connection with God and others based on a God-given inner desire and evidenced by selfless care and sacrificial service that significantly touches or impacts the one being loved.
Graphic slide
The short version:
Love is a desire and decision to meaningfully connect with others evidenced by deeds.
2. Humanly impossible love from 1 Corinthians 13
Most of the portraits and descriptions of love focus on deeds that develop and demonstrate meaningful relationship with others.
Love is like a delicate rose with many pedals each uniquely connected to the whole.
a) Love is continually long-tempered not short tempered
Such restraining of negative reaction for the purpose of protecting the relationship indicates the presence of the real thing.
Until this restrained anger toward others becomes a lifestyle, a character trait, not just an occasional thing we are not adequately connected to the source of genuine love.
Since love desires deeper connection with God and others…
Love deliberately retrains negative response and is not short tempered.
Take inventory.
Do we care about others enough to change how we respond?
Angry responses only indicate unbridled selfish core that cares more about my agenda than God’s.
The anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.
b) Love is Kind not cruel or apathetic
Love keeps an eye out to the basic needs that others have.
The opposite of kindness is not necessarily cruelty, it could be apathy.
To simply not care about meeting the needs of others is unkind.
God Himself demonstrates this aspect of love even to the wicked and ungrateful.
Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
This manifestation of love continually looks for opportunities to do helpful things for others in order to deepen or restore relationship.
Do we care about others enough to give the thought, time and resources to express kindness?
Since love desires deeper connection with God and others…
Love continually offers kindness not cruelty or apathy.
Take inventory. How much do I care and how much am I involved in the needs of others?
Paul switched his portrait from what love is to what love isn’t on several of the following phrases.
I am going to continue trying to examine both sides of the pedals of this marvelous rose.
c) Love is continually supportive not jealous
Wherever we find conflict, we can be sure the root of jealousy exists somewhere in the soil.
Jesus’ love did not seek to have more than others but give more than others.
You can’t maintain a good relationship with those you envy.
Jealousy and selfish ambition persistently prevent the expression of genuine love.
They are the seedbed of disorder and every evil thing.
Love requires selfless giving.
Jealousy nurtures selfish grabbing.
You cannot pursue your needs and other’s at the same time.
Love seeks the best for others.
Envy and jealousy seek the best for self.
Love continues to be supportive no matter what.
Love delights at the successes and blessing of others.
The Corinthians failed to demonstrate this kind of attitude because they failed to love.
Do we care about people enough to deny a desire to compete or conquer and release the spirit-motivated desire to celebrate and cooperate with others?
Since love desires deeper connection with God and others…
Love continually supports others without jealousy.
Take inventory – Am I content with God has given me or am I jealous of others?
d) Love considers others first (humble) not self (arrogant)
You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. 1 Peter 5:5
The heart of love pursues opportunities to make others look good and feel good in Christ and build them up.
Arrogance blocks the development of healthy relationships.
Humility longs to build relationship.
Humility sustains a proper view of one’s self from God’s perspective and therefore has no need to promote or protect one’s self.
A heart that focuses on building and promoting self has no time to build others.
Since love desires deeper connection with God and others…
Love continually considers others before self.
Take inventory. Who gets first consideration in my life?
e) Love is tolerant not provoked
Again, Paul presents the negative aspect of this attribute -- “Not provoked”
Note: The word “easily” is not in the original text.
Paul used a word that speaks of irritation, provocation to anger.
It describes a “sudden outburst of emotion or action” in response to the action of others.
Now while Paul was waiting for them at Athens, his spirit was being provoked within him as he was observing the city full of idols. Acts 17:16
Because love pursues a deeper relationship chooses to overlook those daily little irritations that easily obstruct relationships.
A self-centered focus sets us up to be irritated at the actions or lack of actions by others.
This tolerance is not the ungodly tolerance advocated by the world today.
That view entertains the erroneous idea that since there is no objective truth so we must accept any person’s idea of truth as equally true as mine.
The logic of such a view is preposterous.
ILLUS: You believe that the moon is made of cheese and so tolerance dictates that I must allow you to continue to believer that notion in spite of the fact that it is blatantly wrong.
I cannot invade your space by telling you it is a false belief. That would be intolerant.
I am free to share my beliefs but I cannot suggest that your beliefs might not quite be on the mark.
Godly tolerance motivated by impossible love accepts people right where they are in hopes of building a relationship that will lead them to hear and embrace God’s eternal truth.
Such a love motivated tolerance is able to see past the immediate to the possible.
Until I deal with my own self-centeredness or bitterness disagreements will be like an open sore that continually gets rubbed and bumped by others easily provoking a negative response.
Isn’t it interesting that when we decide to pursue, maintain and deepen relationship with someone or be friends with someone, things that would normal irritate or provoke us don’t bother us anymore?
We have decided to deliberately overlook those “flaws” because of love.
Many married your spouse with full realization of one or two possible irritations.
Because you committed to the relationship, those irritations were not an issue until time tested your commitment.
Once a couple questions their commitment to pursue relationship (love), then every little thing inflates into a major obstacle and irritation.
Once the commitment to pursue relationship (love) dies, tolerance dies because love is tolerant, not provoked.
Love pledges to deepen relationship and therefore cannot be provoked.
Because Jesus committed to restore wandering sheep, nothing could provoke a retaliatory response.
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. 1 Peter 2:21-25
When we become provoked, we rarely look at ourselves.
The blame shifts to the provoker. “You make me mad.”
Paul implied that when we have genuine love, nothing can make us mad!
Since love desires deeper connection with God and others…
Love tolerates the imperfections of others without provocation.
Take inventory. Can I overlook the “flaws of others or am I continual provoked?
The remainder of the pedals on this beautiful rose comes in the form of what love does or does not do.
f) Love articulates the qualities of others not self (does not brag)
Again Paul presents the negative side of the attribute.
The word for bragging is found only here in the New Testament and means to talk conceitedly.
Bragging is the natural product of an arrogant self-centered heart.
The arrogant heart loves to talk about itself.
The Corinthian believer’s fleshly focus resulted in gatherings where everyone tried to demonstrate their superiority to everyone else.
Solomon spoke concerning this principle.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips. Proverbs 27:2
Remember, he who toots his own horn invariable plays off key.
Our bragging may manifest in subtle ways.
An arrogant heart will draw attention to self in some way.
A self-centered person that tries to convince others of their importance impedes the development of relationship both with God and others.
God is not impressed with our greatness and generally, neither are people.
We should heed the wisdom of the Scriptures:
Be slow to speak and quick to listen.
When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19
Since love desires to deepen connection with God and others…
Love looks for ways to articulate the attributes of others, not self.
Take inventory. How much do I talk about myself over others? Is it more enjoyable to uplift others than ourselves.
g) Love acts honorably not shamefully
The word used here conveys the idea of shameful, embarrassing or indecent actions.
The last thing we want to do to someone with whom we desire to deepen relationship is to cause them or ourselves shame by our actions, especially God.
We can embarrass others by our actions or dress or manners or talk.
The Corinthians were not demonstrating even this toward one another.
They shamed the poor at celebration of the Lord’s Supper
They neglected to even wait for others.
The women were not dressing appropriately.
Nothing blocks relationship building like inconsiderate behavior.
The flip side is to act with consideration and thoughtfulness and honorable behavior.
Some translate, “love has good manners.”
I think it goes beyond just manners but includes all behavior.
Love avoids any behavior that might shame or embarrass those we love and put some sort of barrier between us.
Since love desires to deepen relationship with God and others…
Love acts honorably and thoughtfully not shamefully.
Take inventory. Does any of my behavior make others uncomfortable or cause shame?
h) Love serves others not self
Two tombstones in the same small English village cemetery provide a gripping contrast.
Here lies a miser, who lived for himself, and cared for nothing but gathering wealth.
Now where he is or how he fares, nobody knows and nobody cares.
Sacred to the memory of General Charles George Gordon, who at all times and everywhere gave his strength to the weak, his substance to the poor, his sympathy to the suffering, his heart to God.
God calls us to adopt the very attitude of Christ in Philippians 2.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped (held on to), but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Philip. 2:3-8
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; Romans 12:10
Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor. 1 Cor. 10:24
For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare. For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus. Philip. 2:20-21
Just as bragging is the outward manifestation of arrogance and pride, so selfless service is the outward manifestation of humility.
This is the central part of this beautiful rose to which all the others connect.
One commentator wrote, “Cure selfishness and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.
By now it should be quite clear that at the core of our failure to demonstrate the attributes of genuine love is selfishness and pride.
We live in a culture absolutely committed to the “me first” philosophy.
A self-centered focus will destroy a relationship.
Selfishness is the core of every broken relationship.
Somewhere along the line someone decided to stop giving and focus on taking.
The heart became hard and bitterness began its ugly deterioration.
Jesus talked about the church in Revelation losing it’s first love.
A first love devotes itself to the other person.
When we loose our first love, we stop seeking first the kingdom of God.
God put restored relationship with us above all.
Since love desires to deepen connection with God and people…
Love continually strives to serve others first not self.
Take inventory. Whose needs take priority?
i) Love forgives not tracts the offenses of others
For this next attribute of impossible love Paul employed an accounting term.
Paul uses a term that means to calculate or reckon, count.
Tracking the offenses of others stops relationship development in its tracks.
If you track offenses you will have to look for offenses.
You find whatever you concentrate on finding.
That is why love overlooks, tolerates, forebears.
To do otherwise involves tracking, counting, considering, contemplating.
Such action results in a root of bitterness.
No relationship survives bitterness.
No relationship grows without forgiveness.
Reformat the area of your brain that records the offenses of others.
Wipe it out and then stop counting.
This characteristic of love even goes further I think than forgiving, it does not make a habit of even tracking the bad things people do.
We are so adept at tracking dirt.
The news media goes out of their way to find the dirt.
The “scoop” always concerns dirt.
Rarely do they even look for what is good and right.
What an example in Jesus who ministered equally to Judas knowing his evil heart.
God “passed over” sins of the past until adequate payment though Christ would be made.
Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession?
He does not retain His anger forever, because He delights in unchanging love.
He will again have compassion on us; He will tread our iniquities under foot.
Yes, You will cast all their sins into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:18-19
Since love desires to deepen connection with God and people…
Love always forgives rather than tracts the offenses of others.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Take inventory.
How many relationships have been broken or blocked because you chose to track offenses instead of forgive them.
Bitterness will eventually destroy every relationship you have.
You think forgiveness is hard – living with bitterness will make you hard.
Spirit-driven relating Flesh-driven relating
Restrains negative response Flies of the handle quickly
Extends kindness Ignores or abuses
Supports Covets what other have
Focuses on others Focuses on self
Tolerates the actions of others Reacts to others
Articulates the qualities of others Articulates their own qualities
Acts thoughtfully Acts shamefully
Seeks to satisfy others Seeks to satisfy self
Forgives and overlooks other’s offenses Tracks other’s offenses
Such a list causes me to question the genuineness of my love.
Am I going through the motions or do I truly desire to meaningfully connect with people?
Much of time we go to great length to avoid people we find different from us.
God built us for selfless community. (Mutuality)
The fallen nature pursues selfish celebrity.
Only as we experience His love for us and through us will we ever realize the fullness of God Himself who is love.
Receive His covenant love today.
Reflect His Love always
Genuine Love Test (Partial test)
? I willingly restrain any negative response to people’s flaws rather than react quickly.
? I easily feel compassion for the needs of others and joyfully seek to meet them.
? I eagerly rejoice at the success of others and deny jealousy of what they have.
? I intentionally seek to consider others more important than myself.
? I consistently seek to affirm others rather than brag about my own accomplishments.
? I purposely overlook the irritating actions of others rather than get provoked by them.
? I act honorably and thoughtfully toward others so as not to bring shame of them or me.
? I look for ways to serve the needs of others before my own.
? I choose to forgive the offenses of others rather than keep track of them.
