Chico Alliance Church
Pastor David Welch
“Impossible Love”
Introduction
Love makes the world go around. What is this powerful driving force that motivates people to do some pretty weird things? We hear the word “love” tossed around indiscriminately in our culture. A cursory browsing through the card rack at Hallmark will reveal a multitude of little markers categorizing cards by the simple label “love.” As evidenced by the messages in the various cards labeled “love” I am not sure those poets completely understand this thing called love. It doesn’t help that our English word suffers a seemingly insurmountable broad application and usage. I found at least seventeen different variations in meaning in the English dictionary. Since the command to love is a central command in Scripture and lies at the very core of God’s nature, perhaps we should seek to understand it a bit more. What does it mean to love God and love one another as ourselves?
I. Terms of Endearment
Love can be a verb (action word) -- “love one another”, “God loves me.”
Love is something we do.
Love can be a noun (word referring to a person, place or thing) “God is love.”
Love describes a state of being of someone else or myself.
It can also be an adjective (descriptive word -- “God does loving things”.
Love is a term used to try to describe a connection with another person. It is a relational term. It mostly applies to the relationship between two people although it is used between a person and a thing or animal. “I love my dog.” “I love pizza”
Our English term can be divided into at least four basic categories The Greeks differentiated the four categories by using four distinct terms.
Feeling Love (eros) – celebration love
Describes a relationship based on the pleasure of closeness or sexual stimulation.
Married couples can “make love”
Married couple can enjoy sex.
Things could be called sensual or sexy.
Family Love (storge) – community love
Describes a relationship based on a sense of loyalty and togetherness
We “cherish” our children.
We enjoy “connection” with our children.
We have a “loving” family
Friendship Love (philos) – companionship love
Describes a relationship based on a sense of friendship and comradeship.
I really “appreciate” my friend.
We have a wonderful “friendship” between us.
They were really “friendly” to us
Foundational Love (agape) – covenant or commitment love
Describes a relationship based on personal commitment to unconditionally care
I love my spouse.
I seek to develop a deeper love for my spouse.
I try to do the “loving” thing.
A strong marriage will pursue simultaneous development of all four of these aspects of love. The Bible addresses the love of companionship and the love of commitment primarily. Covenant love serves as the foundation block to all the other aspects. It is the only one not dependent on a response from the one being loved. It is solely dependant on the committed love of the one loving. It is not dependent on feeling or sense of family or even a sense of companionship. It describes a decision to care for and pursue relationship with the other person no matter what. It describes God’s relationship with the world.
God so loved (agape) the world that He gave His only begotten Son.
You cannot command someone to be friends with others.
You cannot command someone to drum up a fuzzy pleasurable feeling for someone.
You cannot command someone to treat someone like family.
All of these aspects of love require a reciprocal response to continue. God does not use any of these terms when He commands us to love one another and even our enemies and those who treat us badly. He does however command us to care for one another deeply and move toward relationship if not strongly pursue it. He commands us to do what demonstrates a committed care for the other person. It is what drove God to sacrifice His own Son. It is what drove Jesus to offer up His own life.
II. A better way to go
Paul spent the last chapter describing the work of the Holy Spirit in every Christian.
In the first section Paul identified how the Holy Spirit works through Christians for the sake of building up the body through individual spiritual aptitudes, ministries and effects. In the second section he describes the prevailing attitude we should have toward our individual part in the body of Christ.
• We are all called, enabled and placed by the Holy Spirit under one head.
• We all have differing aptitudes, ministries and effects.
• We are all interdependent or mutually dependant on one another in order to function well.
Paul warns them in the last verses of chapter 12 to guard against trying to pursue a particular aptitude, ministry or effect for the purpose of self-glorification. Paul affirms that the supernatural body-building work of the Holy Spirit is great and it is an honor to employ those gifts in serving the body but unless we demonstrate love, it will not bring lasting fruit or personal fulfillment. The greatest work of the Holy Spirit in the body of Christ is Love. Love unmistakably identifies us as followers of Christ who embodied God’s love for us. The Holy Spirit put this impossible love in our hearts at salvation.
and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out (perfect passive verb) within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5
The fruit of the Spirit is ? (Gal 5:22) The reason for failure to love is a short-circuit in our connection to the Holy Spirit. Paul urged the Corinthians to beware of actions which fail to pursue the best for others. Paul indicated there that it may be possible to go through the motions without the reality. It is possible to perform actions which may appear “loving” but have more to do with self than true service.
This morning we will begin a journey through what is called the love chapter. When you tell someone you love them, how does it stack up against God’s description? Love is better described than defined. Here in this chapter is a description that has stood the test of time. Here is God’s description of true love. Until we come to the place where we admit it’s impossible to love like this, we have not yet fully understood the nature of God’s impossible love.
1. Inadequate love
Paul began the chapter with some conditional clauses and conclusions.
a) Conditions
If I have supernatural…
• Ability to speak more eloquently than any person and even if I speak with the heavenly language of angels…
• Prophecy and have the ability to interpret all the mysteries of life…
• Knowledge to understand and explain how everything works…
• Faith so as to transfer Mount Rainer to another State
If I give…
• All my possessions to feed the poor
• My body to be sacrificed on behalf of others
“but”
…do not continually demonstrate, have, possess, or desire to truly care and connect with people
b) Conclusions
• My abilities and actions become only an irritating sound to the people who listen.
• I become of no eternal significance. (I am nothing)
• I personally gain nothing in terms of eternal value or reward.
From this passage I presume that love is more than actions and abilities. Love describes a passion or desire to meaningfully connect with people and truly care about them. Love has to do with community interaction and connection. Without meaningful interaction with people, there cannot be genuine love. Love has to do with how we respond to people of all kinds. Some might assert, “I could be a loving person if it wasn’t for irritating people.” God’s foundational love finds its energy from inner divinely transformed character and God inspired passion energized by the indwelling Spirit of love. The inability to genuinely love others really says more about me and my character than about the deficiencies or inadequacies of others. If this love is a decision and passion that emanates from our inner core and has little to do with the actions or attitudes of others, then failure to love is a melt down within me. It is my problem. I must look within. I cannot excuse my lack of genuine love by blaming others. I don’t’ love because I have lost connection to the God of love and the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. As we will soon observe, the love God describes here is an impossible love. It cannot be consistently practiced without continual connection to the source of love. Here is my humble attempt to define the essence of this core divine attribute.
Biblical love is a divinely motivated decision to persistently pursue meaningful connection with God and others evidenced by selfless care and sacrificial service that significantly touches or impacts the one being loved.
This love is not based on my feelings but may ignite certain inner feelings.
This love is not motivated by external factors but flows from inner character transformed, ignited and energized by the God of love Himself.
Love begins with a DESIRE to meaningfully connect with people that stimulates a DECSION to pursue meaningful connection and interaction and ends in DEEDS that demonstrate care and promote genuine community.
God’s core desire to restore connection with us was so strong that it stimulated a decision to do something about it in spite of our rebellion that ended in the perfect plan of redemption, which included the sacrifice of His own Son and the desire to freely give us all things (deeds). Genuine love is a desire for, and a decision to pursue meaningful connection with people by sacrificial deeds. Love has to do with meaningful relationship.
God instructs us to pursue such meaningful connection even with our enemies and every one else in between.
Love your neighbors. Love your enemies. Love your fellow workers.
2. Impossible Love
Most of the portraits and descriptions of love focus on deeds that develop and demonstrate meaningful relationship with others. The first grouping of descriptions has to do with the essential nature of love; what love is or isn’t by nature. The second group deals with the actions of love; what love does and does not do.
a) Love is long-tempered not short tempered
Made up of two Greek words macro (long) and thumia (hot flashing anger or temper)
Love at its core constantly longs for restored community. Nothing disrupts meaningful community like flesh driven flashy anger. The manifestation of genuine love for meaningful relationship is stronger than the selfish desire of the flesh to retaliate or react. If love controls my actions I will develop and demonstrate long anger. I will forgo the flesh’s natural desire to react or respond with body language or verbal tone or physical actions that communicate a self-centered focus rather than an others-centered focus.
James taught that conflict is the result of a selfish agenda. How quick are we to respond to the things others do that hurt or annoy us? It is because we don’t really love. Genuine love delays an angry reaction or response in order to preserve or deepen the relationship. Love avoids anything that might hinder or harm relationships.
God is love. Jesus demonstrated God’s love. God continually holds back His anger against our sin in order to restore relationship.
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient (long-angered) toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
…regard the patience (long anger) of our Lord to be salvation... 2 Peter 3:15
Until this restraint of anger toward others becomes a lifestyle, a character trait, not just an occasional thing we are not adequately connected to the source of love. We care more about our needs and feelings than the needs of others. We don’t really love. Do we care about others enough to change how we respond? Angry responses only indicate unbridled selfish core that cares more about my agenda.
Love desires deeper connection with God and others, therefore…
Love is long-tempered not short tempered all the time.
b). Love is Kind not cruel or apathetic
Where as long–temper focuses on withholding expression of the negative, kindness focuses on the graceful expression the positive.
Love willing “bears” the offenses from others. (Long suffering)
Love naturally “gives” anything in order to help relieve the misery of others. (Kindness)
Kindness involves doing helpful things for others. It not only feels generous but it IS generous. This aspect of love offers helpful acts and looks for ways to minister to people in need in hopes of deepening relationship. It longs to relive suffering or express affirmation and care to others. Love keeps an eye out to the basic needs that others have. The opposite of kindness is not necessarily cruelty it could be apathy. To simply not care about meeting the needs of others is unkind. God manifests this aspect of love even to the wicked and ungrateful.
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? Romans 2:4
Again, this is a lifestyle based on the work of the Holy Spirit, not just an occasional thing.
Love continually looks for opportunities to do helpful things for others in order to deepen or restore relationship. Do we care about others enough to give the thought, time and resources to express kindness? If we are apathetic to the needs of others or treat others unkindly, we don’t love. Love desires deeper connection with God and others, therefore… Love is kind not cruel or apathetic all the time.
Paul switched from what love is to what love isn’t on several of the following phrases. I am going to continue trying to examine both sides of the pedals of this marvelous rose.
c). Love is continually supportive not jealous
The word used here and translated “jealous” can be positive or negative depending on the context. It is the word meaning “to be zealous, to boil, to strive for”. Zeal and ambition can be good or bad depending on the motive and objective. The Corinthians were horribly jealous and ambitious people. In the previous chapter Paul highlighted their lack of genuine love. Actually in the whole letter he laments their continual internal strife.
“But you earnestly desire (same word) the greater gifts!
“But I show you a more excellent way” – love which is not jealous of others.
Jealousy is deeply damaging to the body.
Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:13-16
Wherever we find conflict, we can be sure the root of jealousy lies somewhere in the soil.
There are two levels to jealousy.
“I earnestly desire what someone else has!”
“I earnestly desire that they didn’t have what they have.”
Jesus demonstrated a love that did not seek to have more but give more. You can’t properly relate to those you envy. Jealousy and selfish ambition absolutely prevent the expression of genuine love. Love requires selfless giving. Jealousy is all about selfish grabbing. You cannot pursue your needs and others at the same time. Love seeks the best for others. Envy and jealousy seek the best for self. Love continues to be supportive no matter what. Love delights at the successes and blessing of others. The Corinthians failed to demonstrate this kind of attitude because they failed to love. Do we care about people enough to deny any desire to compete or conquer and release the spirit-motivated desire to celebrate and cooperate with others?
Love desires deeper connection with God and others and therefore…
Love is not jealous but supportive all the time.
d). Love builds others up (humble) not self (arrogant)
Paul zeroed in on the negative aspect of this attribute of love. The word used by Paul here is a very visual one. It is the action of a bellows, a windbag. In the middle voice it is the idea of puffing oneself up to look better than others.
He who toots his own horn invariable plays off key. Mostly this fleshly drive has to do with the determination to build a reputation. Paul crawled all over the Corinthians for their inflated view of themselves.
Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, that in us you might learn not to exceed what is written, in order that no one of you might become arrogant in behalf of one against the other. 1 Cor. 4:6
Now some have become arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I shall find out, not the words of those who are arrogant, but their power. 4:18-19
And you have become arrogant, and have not mourned instead, in order that the one who had done this deed might be removed from your midst. 1 Cor. 5:2
Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. 1 Cor. 8:1
"GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." James 4:6
You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. 1 Peter 5:5
The self-centered, arrogant heart only cares about looking superior to others.
Try to show we are smarter than others by having to comment on everything.
Try to show ourselves better by criticizing others.
Try to appear better than we are by making others appear worse than they are.
The heart of love pursues opportunities to make others look good and feel secure in Christ and build them up. Arrogance blocks relationship. Humility builds relationship. Humility is the quality of heart that sustains a proper view of one’s self from God’s perspective and therefore has no need to promote or protect one’s self. In Christ we have nothing to nothing to prove, nothing to lose, nothing to protect. In Christ we find the ultimate demonstration of humility. In fact God calls us to adopt his attitude in Philippians 4. The heart of love senses no drive to prove anything or to pursue anything but love. A heart that focuses on building self has no time to build others. Love gives the time to build others. Love desires deeper connection with god and others, therefore…
Love is determined to build others NOT self all the time.
e). Love is tolerant not provoked
Again, Paul presents the negative aspect of this attribute -- “Not provoked” Note: The word “easily” is not in the original. Paul uses a word that speaks of irritation, provoke to anger. It describes a “sudden outburst of emotion or action”.
Now while Paul was waiting for them at Athens, his spirit was being provoked within him as he was observing the city full of idols. Acts 17:16
Because love pursues a deeper relationship it is able to overlook those daily little irritating things that obstruct relationships. A self-centered motive sets us up to be irritated at the actions or lack of actions by others. This is not the ungodly tolerance advocated by the world today. Their tolerance is built on an erroneous idea that there is no objective truth and therefore we need to accept any person’s idea of what truth may be. The tolerance produced by impossible love is built on the idea that we accept people where they are in hopes of building a relationship that will open up an opportunity to share eternal truth. Until I deal with self-centeredness or bitterness it will be like an open sore that continually gets bumped by others causing a negative reaction every time. When I allow bitterness to take root in the soul I will react to that person more easily than others. Isn’t it interesting that when we commit to pursue, maintain and deepen relationship with someone the things that would normal irritate or provoke us don’t anymore?
Many married your spouse with a full realization of one or two possible irritations. But because you committed to the relationship they were not an issue until time tested your commitment. Once a couple looses the commitment to pursue relationship (love) every little thing then becomes a major obstacle and irritation. Once the commitment to pursue relationship (love) dies, tolerance dies. Love pledges to deepen relationship and cannot therefore be provoked. Because Jesus committed to restore wandering sheep, nothing could provoke a retaliatory response.
For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls. 1 Peter 2:21-25
When we become provoked, we rarely look at ourselves. The blame shifts to the provoker. “You make me mad.” Paul says, “When we have genuine love, nothing can make us mad!”
Love desires deeper community and therefore…
Love is tolerant not provoked all the time.
The rest of the attributes of genuine love come in the form of what it does, how it operates in relationships.
