Chico Alliance Church
“Marvelous Matrimony – focused celibacy” 1 Cor 7:10-40
Introduction
In this chapter, Paul responded to some questions raised by the church in an earlier letter regarding marriage. This church was born amidst a deeply defiled and disintegrating culture. The Corinthians had grown up with come pretty mixed up ideas about marriage. Now they had questions about what would was God’s way. They grew up around multiple wives, no restrictions on sexual activity for men. In fact sexual relationship with the temple prostitutes was considered part of connecting with the gods. Now they realized that these old ways were not only displeasing to God but destructive to them.
God’s sexual boundaries to protect marriage.
1. Selfless commitment between one man and one woman (Marriage)
2. Purity
3. Purpose
4. Mutual Pleasure
5. Spirit Control
Any crossing of God’s boundary lines introduces destructive consequences. There are at least seven possible questions or issues that Paul attempted to address in this chapter.
QUESTION ONE 1-9
Isn’t it better to remain single and have nothing to do with the opposite sex? 7:1-9
Since sexual perversion was so rampant in Corinth, many wondered if it wouldn’t be better to stay single or to refrain from sexual activity all together even if you were married. Paul answered this question by addressing several related principles.
1. It is more expedient to stay single.
Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 1 Cor. 7:1
2. Marriage (a healthy one) can protect from immorality.
But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 1 Cor. 7:2
3. Marriage is between one committed man and one committed woman.
4. Couples are indebted to sexually relate to each other.
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 1 Cor. 7:3-4
5. Sex is not just for procreation but to communicate and celebrate oneness
6. Sexual abstinence must be carefully managed
Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 1 Cor. 7:5
7. Both celibacy and matrimony is a gift from God.
But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. 1 Cor. 7:6-7
8. If you don’t have self-control, get married
But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Cor. 7:8-9
QUESTION TWO 7:10-11
Is it permissible to divorce one’s spouse? 7:10-11
But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
Paul gave several opinions in this chapter. First, he made it very clear here that this particular instruction was not just an opinion but from the Lord.
“To the ones having been married and still married”
“A wife should not leave her husband”
“the husband should not divorce hi wife.”
“leave” = put distance, separate, go away, depart, put asunder.
“divorce” = send away, forsake, leave, put away
Paul addressed the contemporary culture. A woman would leave a man if she was dissatisfied.
A husband would send a woman away if he was dissatisfied. Paul prohibits either.
Jesus addressed this same question asked by some Pharisees to test Jesus in Matthew 19:3-9
Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?" And He answered and said, "Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, 'FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH'? "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate."
To answer, Jesus appealed to the original marriage. Jesus quoted Genesis. Jesus referenced God’s original instructions to Adam and Eve.
Leave (active) father and mother.
Cling, glue, unite, associate, keep company, stick to his wife
Interesting – Paul used the passive voice here meaning someone else did the action to the couple.
Be stuck to, united with glued to.
Who does the gluing in marriage? The next verse provides the answer. Whom God has “yoked together” let no man separate. New image – God puts a man and woman in a yoke for His vineyard. We are not to take apart what God puts together. Such dividing of divinely-glued people always brings severe consequences. The result of man’s leaving and God’s gluing is the development of future oneness. There is a supernatural, spiritual bond created by God that makes two into one.
Oneness of spirit
The first requirement for spirit oneness is that both partners are Christians. Spirit oneness develops when both individuals focus their life on knowing and serving Christ. There is a mutual understanding that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. As both couples focus on their relationship with Christ, there is a bonding and a closeness that develops in the process. Like a triangle, the closer you get to Christ at the top, the closer you get to each other.
Oneness of soul
Soul oneness focuses on a mutual commitment to minister to one another’s personal needs. This is a commitment to deeply touch one another that embraces the whole person. This oneness develops as we become true friends in every sense of that word. As we develop a friendship that models the Love of Christ, we can both intellectually and emotionally understand and appreciate what relationship with Christ is like.
Oneness of body
God’s eternal design for marriage has to do with leaving parents, being glued to your spuse and a life-long development of oneness at all levels. Jesus drew the Pharisee’s attention to the foundational principle of marriage. If God binds a couple than who are we to break up a couple?
They appealed then not to the Creator’s perfect design but to the creature’s sinful default.
They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?
Jesus again appealed to the original design.
He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.
Then Jesus clearly states God’s plan.
"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
Now a great deal of interpretive difference surrounds this verse. Are there exceptions to the “no divorce” principle?
Two basic interpretations prevail.
Yes, in cases of sexual impurity.
Only for impurity during the “betrothal period” of the Jewish marriage practice.
Even if you adhere to the exception clause it is not a mandate to divorce. God did not divorce Israel because of her immorality but pursued her. The Song of Solomon was written to illustrate fidelity and passion in marriage. Paul basically restates Jesus’ teaching on marriage. Paul adds a further instruction if by chance some sort of separation should occur. Wives don’t separate from your husbands. Husbands don’t send your wife away. If such should happen…
but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband 1 Cor. 7:11
Be reconciled had the idea of a reconciliation intended to be permanent. This is pretty radical teaching in our day of rampant divorce even among Christians. Every divorce is fueled by a hard heart. Would it be hard to remain single? You bet. It would demonstrate the sacredness of the marriage relationship. In fact Paul all through this passage affirms the benefits of singleness. However, in balance he also talks about celibacy as a gift and the protection of marriage against sexual immorality and burning passion.
A word about emotional divorce.
Many who would never legally divorce have brought equally devastating damage to God’s design by emotional separation.
QUESTION THREE 7:12-16
What if my spouse is not a believer? 1 Cor. 7:12-16
Paul’s answer is to stay married to an unbelieving spouse if they consent to stay.
Reason? Again Paul treats both husband and wives with absolute equality in this passage.
1- An unbeliever enjoys certain blessing by reason of their union with a believer.
Just as God blest the unbelieving Potipher’s house because of Joseph, so God blesses the unbelieving spouse because of the believing spouse. Such blessing also passes on to the children.
God considers the children of a mixed union to be “holy” because of the believing spouse.
2 – You never know if your testimony will be the means to his/her salvation.
For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
What if the unbelieving decides to leave?
Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.
QUESTION FOUR 7:17--24
Should I try to alter my circumstances? 1 Cor 7:17-24
Many in Corinth spent far too much energy trying to change the circumstances of their life rather than the character of their life.
QUESTION FIVE 7:25-35
Are there benefits to staying single? 7:25-35
Stay single if you can.
The time is short.
Marriage brings a whole new set of struggles.
Celibacy allows for a greater focus on service to the Lord.
QUESTION SIX 7:36-38
What should fathers do about giving their daughters in marriage?
Giving or not giving one’s daughter in marriage is acceptable.
Keeping her single is better.
QUESTION SEVEN 7:39-40
What should widows do?
A widow is free to remarry a Christian but might be better off remaining unmarried.
Conclusion
The point of all this is that God regards the marriage relationship as a sacred bond. He designed it and He regulates it. It is God who yokes couples together and intends that fruit come about from that union. We should do everything possible to maintain God’s design.
