Chico Alliance Church
Pastor David Welch
“Married with Purpose” 1 Cor 7
Introduction
It doesn’t take a great deal of research or study to realize that marriage in the world is in big trouble. Cohabitation has dramatically increased. People do not see a reason for getting married.
This is especially the case in those countries where marriage is no longer understood as between a man and a woman. Whenever society abandons God’s prescription and purpose for marriage, the whole culture begins to deteriorate.
God’s Purpose for Marriage
If you want to find the blueprint for living…start looking in Genesis. There God established the foundation.
1. Partnership (Companionship)
God created man in His image. God has existed in community from eternity. God created man with the capacity and need for community. All through the stages of creation God declared that it was good. When it came to man without woman, God said that it was not good.
“It is not good that man should be alone! I will make one corresponding to him.
“We will make one who can relate.”
Notice that Adam’s “aloneness” was a reality even in a perfect environment and with unbroken fellowship with the creator.
Adam recognized an essential unity between them.
“Bone of my bone. Flesh of my flesh.”
“They were naked and not ashamed”
“There was no self-consciousness.”
For the original couple there was absolute partnership and community between them. Marriage provides companionship. Marriage illustrates an exclusive commitment to another person.
God told Adam and Eve to leave, cleave and become one flesh. How far from God’s design we have wandered. Instead of companionship and cooperation, marriage had turned to competition and conflict. Very few marriages could be characterized as companionships. Marriage and the family is a perfect training ground for learning to function in community.
2. Potential (Completeness)
God purposed to make a “helper”. God created woman to come along side. Man is incomplete without woman. Woman is incomplete without man. God designed interdependence between man and woman.
In the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God. 1 Cor. 11:11-12
A marriage works best when both work together and come up with a solution or direction that neither would have arrived at on their own. God designed marriage to teach humility and the necessity of functioning in community. Marriage becomes the training ground for learning to be more effective in the body. Marriage is God’s way of bringing us to our full potential.
3. Procreation
“Be fruitful and fill up the earth.”
God established the family with a mother and father to fill up the earth. Children find the greatest protection and security in the confines of a mother and father who love God and each other.
4. Portrayal (Illustration)
Paul referred to marriage as a living illustration of Christ and the church.
FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephes. 5:31-33
Even the Old Testament referenced marriage to picture relationship with God. Trusting other god’s was continually compared to infidelity in marriage. There is something about the marriage relationship that teaches us about relationship with God. The intimacy, the community, the partnership, the commitment, the trust. Marriage was intended as a picture of intimacy with God.
In fact, when we get to heaven, there will be no more need for marriage. Jesus made that clear when the Sadducees brought up a doosy of a hypothetical situation. Matthew 22:23-30
Once you have the real thing, the picture, as glorious and glamorous at it is, becomes insignificant. We have a distorted concept of marriage that unfortunately parallels the lines of our culture. All of the purposes previously presented, parallel our relationship with God.
Partnership (companionship) “I am with you!)
Potential (completeness) “You are complete in Christ!”
Procreation “Bear fruit for righteousness (Rom 7)
Portrayal “Relationship with God is a vital, graphic picture of meaningful community.”
What does your marriage teach you about relationship with God?
What in your marriage stirs a deeper desire to relate to God in the same way?
If it doesn’t, there is something wrong in the marriage. The marriage is not operating in line with God’s design. There are two more purposes for marriage found in the marriage chapter of 1 Corinthians. This chapter probably says more about the marriage relationship than any other one single passage.
5. Protection
Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband…Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Marriage is a protection against immorality. Paul indicates that in relation to one’s devotion to God it is better that one stay single. He will emphasize that later as well. A man should not have sexual relationship with a woman outside of marriage. Because of the temptation to impure actions a man and woman should get married. Later Paul says it is better to marry than burn with lust. A healthy sexual relationship between husband and wife are intended to protect them from the devastating effects of sexual impurity. God established boundaries around a great thing.
Within the boundaries there is freedom and deep meaning. Outside the borders there is only destruction. Proverbs 7 speaks of the man who gets involved with the sensual woman.
Even when a couple decides to forgo relations for spiritual reasons there should be an ending point Paul warns so that no occasion may be afforded the enemy. Satan will do everything possible to destroy a marriage.
6. Pleasure
1 Cor. 7:31-34
This is a pleasure that goes beyond sexual pleasure.
The word used here is used several other places in the Bible.
Herodias “pleased” Herod by her sensual dance.
The plan to appoint deacons to serve the needs of the group “pleased” the congregation.
Those in the flesh cannot please God.
We are to please God over men.
We are to please our neighbors.
The soldier works to please the one who enlisted him.
In fact the Old Testament had regulations about the newly married.
"When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out with the army nor be charged with any duty; he shall be free at home one year and shall give happiness to his wife whom he has taken. Deut. 24:5
Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 1 Cor. 7:1-5
This is a much misused and misunderstood passage.
Important words to note. “Duty” debt, what is owed.
There is an obligation in regard to one another in regard to sexual relations. The obligation has to do with protection. If part of marriage is to protect against immorality, then there is an obligation to provide that protection for each other.
The other important term is “authority.”
When it comes to sexual fulfillment, neither spouse has the jurisdiction, authority or right to act in regard to their own body. God has given that privilege and duty to the spouse. I believe this passage teaches against self-centered sexual gratification. Some use this passage to teach that either spouse has unlimited access and control over the other’s body in regard to sex. Some have gone so far as to teach from this passage that the spouse can never say, “No.” This goes against other clear teaching regarding God’s design for sex. It was designed to be a mutual communication and celebration of oneness. It is supposed to be an other’s-centered thing. To interpret this verse as saying that the individual has no right over their own body but the spouse has absolute authority over their body is a violation of the principles of intimacy. What I do believe this teaches is that we are dependent on our spouse when it comes to sexual fulfillment and no one else.
1 Thes. 4:1-8 speaks to sexual purity.
? Abstain from sexual immorality.
? Keep your sexual passions under control.
? Do not sexually defraud others.
Not to follow these instructions is to reject God.
Our spouse alone has the God-given authority to offer sexual fulfillment. We are dependent on each other. It is another way God has designed to inspire oneness. There is a caution to be issued regarding this passage however. No spouse can satisfy a fleshly or demonically intensified sex drive that has been polluted by moral impurity. Since our spouse is the only outlet for sexual release Paul urges couples to STOP depriving one another of this most important aspect of the marriage relationship. The verb action here is a command to stop doing something they were already doing. For some reason the Corinthians were reacting against a sexualized culture and felt that total abstinence even among married couples was more godly. Paul addressed this notion all through this chapter. He acknowledged that abstinence by agreement for the purpose of prayer is admirable but to be regulated. Notice it is by mutual agreement for a higher spiritual cause. Notice that sexual deprivation is not to be used by one party as a punishment or weapon.
Deciding to live in continual abstinence would be opening up to Satan’s temptation to immorality that marriage was intended to prevent.
Principles taught so far in 1 Corinthians 7.
Paul indicates that it is good not to be sexually active outside of marriage.
Paul teaches that to avoid such temptation one should get married.
Paul teaches that sexual fulfillment lays in the power of the spouse not the individual.
Paul teaches that abstinence should only be practiced by mutual consent for a specific purpose and for a specified duration.
Paul urged couples not to deprive one another.
The final principle in this passage has to do with celibacy.
But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. 1 Cor. 7:6-7
The point here is that celibacy is a gift, matrimony is a gift form God. Even these final two purposes mirror our relationship with God.
Protection “Walk in the spirit (maintain intimacy with the Spirit) and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”
Pleasure “In Your right hand are pleasures ever more.”
“Learn what is pleasing to the Lord!”
Mutual pleasure. What kind of picture does your marriage portray? All of our marriages need work. Marriage become a tool in God’s hand to make us better. Marriage can be the instrument God uses to draw us closer to Him. Is it worth investing more energy? Will you commit to focus on your marriage this month? One commitment today. I will spend time enriching my marriage this month.
