The Ten Commandments Part 2
Scriptures: Exo. 20:12; Phil. 4:13; 1Cor. 10:13; Eph. 4:27; 6:1-3
Today we celebrate mothers. I want to wish all mothers a happy Mother’s Day as mothers are truly a blessing from God. This week I had the opportunity to read the results of a survey that was conducted by Pew Research Center. Since before the Civil War, the story of the Israelites’ slavery and deliverance has spurred comparisons to black people’s experiences in the United States. The Pew Research Center shows that black people are more likely that most other Americans to read Scripture regularly and, more importantly, to view it as God’s Word. Among Christians, 61% of traditional black Protestants read their Bibles weekly. What is interesting is that 77% of all blacks believed that the Bible is the Word of God. However, only 57% of whites believe that the Word of God was not just written by men (not inspired by God.) For Hispanics it’s 65%. The study also found that blacks were more likely to participate in weekly Bible study sessions than whites or Hispanics. I share this with you because these numbers, I believe, are a direct result of black mothers. Although times continue to change, historically it was a very strong black woman that had the major influence on their households. In most black Churches it was not uncommon to see more women attending with their children than men. The reasons black men were not as active range from having other responsibilities like work to just not seeing the importance of spending their one day off in Church (and this is still true in 2018.) My point is simply this: without black mothers, most of our churches would be on life support and more black children would be on the road to hell and the lake of fire. I am so thankful for my mother, my wife, the mothers of this church and the mothers in churches throughout our country. The impact you are having on the church and on the lives of the next generation – I have no words to truly express what that means to God. Thank you!!!
In recognition of this being Mother’s Day, the second Commandment that I will focus on is found in Exodus 20:12. It says, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” When you read through the Ten Commandments you will find that 6 of the 10 Commandments focused on our relationship with others. This is the first commandment of the six – God starts at home. This is also the first commandment of the ten that has a promise. It implies a shorter life, proving there is no set time to die and suggesting that man has an impact on his own length of life and destiny. Young people did you hear me? God has given you a promise. Now it’s up to you to grab a hold of it or let it slip through your hands. So let me read that again and you really need to pay attention: “Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” Unlike today in America, during Biblical times a child was under their parent’s authority for the duration of their parent’s life. They respected their parents and lived close by, if not actually with them, and continue to follow the guidelines set forth by the parents. Now I’m talking about adults. If Nikki and I still lived in Columbia, TN, with our parents, this would apply to us. We would be under the authority of our parents. In our world, when a child turns 18 they believe they have the right to make some decisions. When they turn 21, they believe they are grown and can make their own grownup decisions while still living in their parents households. Their respect and honor of their parents went only so far and primarily if the parent were doing things that “agreed” with how they wanted to live. This was not so when God gave this command and trust me when I tell you, God has not changed! When children don’t honor their parents, the truth is, they are not honoring God. I do not believe that God has changed his stance on how children should treat their parent. I want you to see the expectations of children under the Old Covenant first and then we’ll look at what’s expected in the New Covenant. What I want you to think about is the penalty for committing the sin once – not multiple times, only once. You didn’t get a chance to say you were sorry. You couldn’t ask your parents for a second chance. Honoring your parents is a big deal to God. A Big Deal!
Exodus 21:15: “He who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.” In the home I grew up in God would not have had to do anything here. If I had ever thought I could hit my mother, my mother would have fulfilled this promise and then “maybe” ask God to resurrect me so she could ask me if I learned my lesson.
Exodus 21:17: “He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.” Interesting thought for those of you who believe it’s only natural to use profanity as you express your anger towards your parents. Now here is something I want you all to understand, parents included. This was not only about profanity, but including “mouthing off” and “talking back.” And what about how our teenagers are so dismissive towards their parents using the word “whatever” or just giving a dismissive glance when the parents are talking to them? All of these examples can be included in how we dishonor our parents; being disrespectful.
Leviticus 19:3: “Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father…..”
Deuteronomy 27:16: “Cursed is he who dishonors his father or mother. And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’” In the Hebrew, the dishonoring occurs when the child is disobedient in how he/she responds to their parents (i.e. the rolling their eyes or shaking their heads dismissively) and when they are alone, talks about their parents in a derogatory manner and belittles them. Although the parents cannot hear the words spoken, God does!
What we have just read church is not pretty. In fact, it’s downright disgraceful and we’re seeing it play out in homes across this country every single day. Children respecting and honoring their parents was so important that it carried a death penalty for those who did not do it. It carried a death penalty! Do you hear what I am telling you? Many children today need to thank God for His grace because He is giving them time to repent and get it right. Now, if this was so important to God in the Old Testament, why do we think that it is okay today to treat our parents any old kind of way today? Even if we had bad parents, there is an expectation as to how we are to treat them. When Jesus died and fulfilled the penalty of the Law, His death did not open the door for us to live any way we choose, it open the door for us to have the power and authority to do more and greater things that those who lived before His death. Remember the Scriptures you’re supposed to memorize to help you change how you were thinking about sin? As a reminder they are:
Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
1Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”
Ephesians 4:27: “And do not give the devil an opportunity (or a room in your house).”
Now let’s examine what was written in the New Testament as it relates to our relationship with parents. Turn to Ephesians 6:1-3. It reads, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” Imagine if you will that it must have been an interesting day in the Church of Ephesus when it was known that a pastoral letter would be read in the public assembly from the beloved apostle whose labors had been such a blessing. Whether the meeting was held in early morning or late in the evening, every effort would be made by every Christian to be present, and even as they were walking towards the place of meeting, a certain briskness of manner and eagerness of expression would show that something beyond the common was in expectation. You see, when the early church received letters from the apostles, there was excitement around what would be shared. The adults came expecting something but they would also bring their children. The children would not know and/or expect that in the letter there would be something for them. As the letter was read, maybe some of the children would be bored and lose interest (like what we see today) but then they hear it. There is a message spoken strictly to them. It was not a message about Jesus and what He had done for them, it was a message about being obedient. I can imagine that even the older hearers were rather surprised, and certainly there are many now who would have expected a more spiritual counsel. They would have expected him to say something to the children about Jesus, or about prayer, or about trying to teach the heathen around them; yet he speaks on none of these things. Paul knew that the children would probably attend the reading with their parents so he spoke to them. He spoke of their obeying their parents because he knew that other things would follow if they obeyed their parents as their parents brought them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. He knew if this took place God's blessing would rest on their efforts and all would be well. So he tells the children to obey their parents.
Notice that Paul instructs the children to first “obey” their parents and then he speaks of honoring. He tells them that this was the first commandment (from the original ten) that held a promise. The promise was a longer life. Based on what he wrote, if a child did not obey and/or dishonored their parents, they would open the door for Satan to do everything he could to shorten their lives. Now please listen to me, God is telling you, children, young people and adults who still have parents living, obey and honor your parents. When you do this you won’t give Satan a place, a room in your life that he can use to steal, kill and destroy what God has for you. Do you see this? In the Greek, the word “obey” means “to submit and obey.” It was about exercising your will. It was about a choice. The Greek word for “honor” carries the idea of something so valuable that it is held as precious, prized, cherished, treasured, and very dear. There is a definite link between children being obedient and how that obedience leads to honor. Now I want you to see something.
The Greek word apeitho is a word that Peter used in First Peter chapter three when he wrote to the wives about being in subjection to their husbands even if those husbands did not obey the word. That phrase, obey not, comes from the word apeitho. That simple phrase emphatically refers to someone who refuses to be persuaded. This person isn’t ignorant of the truth; he is defiant and rejecting of it. When you think about the use of this word by Peter and align it beside the word Paul use when He told the children to obey, it makes sense that the penalty under the Law was so strict. A child who was being obedient was not acting this way because they did not know, they were acting this way by choice. They understood how they were supposed to act but they were choosing to act contrary to what they had been taught. They were in fact being defiant. God told the children to honor their parents and in doing so their days will be long on the earth. It means something to honor a parent. It means something to look upon a parent and value them. I could not demonstrate my honor to my parents when I was being disobedient. It was my obedience first that opened the door for me to fully honor them with both my words and my actions. How a child acts in public is reflective of what they are seeing, hearing and experiencing at home. Turn to First Timothy chapter three.
First Timothy 3:4-5 says, “He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?)” In this letter to Timothy, Paul addressed the “qualifications” for someone being considered for a leadership role in the Church. One of those qualifications was how they managed their home. How were his children and how did they act. Why was this important? Because a child who was disobedient or who was not honoring their parents were not under control. It was not expected that a leader could lead the church of God if he could not lead his own children. And, as you continue reading Paul’s pastoral letters, you find that he placed some responsibility on the parents to make the environment possible for the child to actually walk in obedience. This is important to understand because what happens in a person’s home is usually the true picture about what kind of leader he/she is going to be. It is wise when a pastor is looking for a leader for the church that look beyond just the fact that someone wants to serve, they must examine what is happening within the home. How does the kids act? Are they obedient? Do they live in peace or are they afraid? Do they feel loved or do they feel judged? We will not treat our kids worse than we treat others under our authority so how the kids act can be very telling.
Paul says in this verse that a leader’s children should have dignity (gravity in the KJV). That word comes from the Greek word semnotes which paints the picture of a person who carries himself with dignity and treats other people with courtesy and respect. Are you starting to see the picture? How often do we congratulate a parent of a well-behaved child or look down on those parents whose children are out of control? When I say out of control, I am speaking of those kids who have the freedom to say whatever they want to their parent and their parents allow them. I am talking about kids who thinks its okay to strike their parents and their parents let them do it. That would never have happened in the home I grew up in! Why? Because neither of my parents would have tolerated it and they trained us to respect them and any other adult we came into contact with. Each of you know that there is a striking difference of our opinion of parents who kids are well behaved versus those who are not. And kids, just so I am extremely clear, God’s expectations for how you treat your parents has not changed. The penalty as it relates to the Law has changed, but God’s expectations has not and it still holds true that your life could be shortened because of how your dishonor your parents. Why do I say this? If you are not willing to honor your parents who are taking care of you and providing for all of your needs, that same mentality you will carry out into the world. Eventually it will have an impact on your well being physically, spiritually and emotionally because the world will not let you do what you have done to your parents. And we know from the Bible that Satan is the god of this world. I’m going to let you think about that for a moment. Your parents love you; Satan doesn’t care about you. You parents want you to live a long fulfilled life; Satan wants you dead. He wants you to join him in hell and then the lake of fire. When you dishonor your parents, you are giving him the opportunity to assign you a seat with him. God’s word remains true.
Now parents let me share something with you as I close. Remember what I said that we, as parents, should provide an environment where our children are able to obey and honor us? If you listen to how children speak to their family members (siblings, etc.) and how they speak to others outside the home it reveals what they are hearing within the home. In other words, how they speak, conduct themselves, and treat others reflects the quality of relationships in their own home. If the parents are constantly arguing and screaming at each other until it has become a pattern and a way of life, the children will usually speak to each other exactly the same way in the home. Destructive behaviors in the home are often repeated by the children outside of the home. If we want to help our children fulfill their role with us and God, we have to fulfill our role with them and God. If a home is filled with love, mutual respect and teamwork, this will be evident in the way the children conduct themselves. If your kids are being disrespectful and disobedient, is it because you are allowing them to be? If your children do not honor you, what are you willing to do about it? The longevity of your child’s life rests with how they learn to obey and honor you. It’s not enough to tell them what to do, you must show them and mean it as their lives depends on it.
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers. Thank you for what you are doing every single day to ensure your children have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and the life you are living before them. What you are doing is not being done in vain. May God bless and keep you.
Until next time, “The Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)
(If you are ever in the Kansas City, KS area, please come and worship with us at New Light Christian Fellowship, 15 N. 14th Street, Kansas City, KS 66102. Our service Sunday worship starts at 9 a.m. and Thursday night Bible study at 7 p.m. We look forward to you worshipping with us. May God bless and keep you.)
