Mother’s Day is really important to Mothers. In case you haven’t caught on by now, let me repeat that for you, Mother’s Day is a big deal to almost every mother. Even the most phlegmatic, laid back, understanding mother expects to be honored today with special attention.
If you stop and think about it, it’s easy to understand why. This woman sacrifices her body, time, energy and selfish interests for her family 364 days out of the year. She cleans the house, prepares the meals, washes the clothes, runs a taxi service and oversees the family without much thanks year around. She often feels like she’s taken for granted, and she is—it’s expected of her! She tries not to feel sorry for herself, but she does sometimes.
Then one day a year is designated Mother’s Day. For days in advance the family is reminded to find a way to say thanks to Mom just this once. She hears the ads. She sees other mothers getting privileged treatment. If you don’t do anything, she feels even more unappreciated. She thinks, “Why bother? They don’t even notice. I’m just an unpaid maid.”.
I like the cartoon that shows a mother standing in a living room that’s a total mess. She’s got a crying baby in her arms and another child is scribbling on the wall. The dog is chasing the cat. The husband, with briefcase in hand, has just walked in the front door, and his eyes are bugging out at the chaos. The exasperated mother barks, “You always ask me what I do all day. Well today I didn’t do it, and here it is!”.
Mother’s Day is a big deal to mothers because it’s a chance to say thanks.
The Fifth Commandment reads, “Honor your father and your mother.”. To honor simply means to value, to respect, to pay tribute to. That responsibility to honor our mothers begins when we’re a child and continues until the day we die.
Jesus Christ set the example for us about how to honor our mother at the
various stages of life. So today let’s consider how Jesus honored Mary on several different occasions and let’s be determined to follow in His steps.
Turn to Luke 2:52.
Here we see:
#1: Obedience & Maturity When You’re A Teenager:
There’s only one story about Jesus as a child, but it’s an enlightening one.
Jesus was 12 years old and went with His parents to worship at the temple in Jerusalem for the Passover Feast. It was an annual trip of almost 100 miles if they took the normal route around Samaria. Since they usually walked in large groups, it probably took four or five days.
The boy Jesus had always proven responsible and His parents trusted Him. So, when the contingent from Nazareth started home Mary assumed Jesus was with His father and Joseph assumed He was with His mother.
At the end of the first day, when they set up camp, they discovered Jesus was not there. The longer they searched, the more concerned they were. Panic began to build in Mary’s heart. There were hundreds of thousands of people in Jerusalem. Some of them were not good people.
What had happened to Jesus? In her mind she had to picture Him kidnapped, injured, or, at the very least, lonely and terrified. Here she had been entrusted by God with raising the Messiah and she had lost Him—failed to protect Him. The prophet, Simeon, had predicted a sword would pierce her soul. Is this what he meant?
When Sam was 8 years old I took him to Jamestown. At the time he loved the Indian village, the Colonist’s Settlement, and he especially loved the 3 ships that they have there, which are replicas of the three ships that brought the first settlers from England; The Discovery, Godspeed, and the Susan Constant. He and I were going through the Indian village and I went inside one of the tee pees and thought he was right behind me so that he could see all the animal pelts, homemade arrows, and the various arrow heads that they have. Well I was looking around and then all of a sudden went to say something to Sam, turned around to get his attention, and all of a sudden realized that he wasn’t in there with me. I started getting nervous and my heart started racing. I mean we’re around a bunch of tourists, most of which are Yankees, and I started to panic. I quickly got out of the tee pee, looked around and didn’t see him. I thought, “Do I go to the colony settlement or to the ships?” I went to the settlement and didn’t find him there either. I’m freaking out on the inside but appearing to be calm on the outside. Ten minutes later I found him touring around the outside of the three ships. That was a panicky feeling for me. Sam was so casual about the whole thing. He said, “I knew you’d find me.” I just looked at him trying to keep my composure. Then he said, “Dad, did you know that the name of this ship is Godspeed?” I said, “You’re going to need God’s speed when I get finished with you.” But it was a panicky feeling for me.
Mary and Joseph retraced their steps back to Jerusalem. It didn’t take ten
minutes to find Him. It took three days!
Luke 2: 46 – 52 LB: “Three days later they finally discovered Him. He was in the Temple, sitting among the teachers of Law, discussing deep questions with them and amazing everyone with His understanding and answers. His parents didn’t know what to think. “Son!” His mother said to Him. “Why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been frantic, searching for you every-where.” “But why did you need to search?” He asked. “Didn’t you realize that I would be here at the Temple, in my Father’s House?” But they didn’t understand what He meant. (It was a mystical, abnormal moment when the deity of Jesus surfaced.) “Then He went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them.”…“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”
Jesus was obedient to them. He knew He was gifted. He knew He had a special calling even beyond His parents understanding. He matured physically, socially, spiritually, intellectually, but, in His teen years, He was obedient to and respectful of His parents.
Young people, you walk in the steps of Jesus and honor your mother by mature obedience. It’s nice to give your Mother a card or take her out to eat today. But I guarantee you what would mean more to her is for you to be mature enough to obey her basic instructions 365 days a year.
When she says you can play computer games for just 30 minutes, you don’t stretch it to 45 minutes. When she says, I want you to turn the music down, you turn it down without complaint. When she says, “Could you give me a hand setting the table?” you jump up immediately and help out. You don’t say, “Next commercial.” If she says, “Don’t drive over the speed limit” or “Make sure you come straight home,” you obey what she says.
In fact, if you want to be really mature, do the little things without being asked. When you get ready for bed, you throw your dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor. When you are going to be late, you call or text and let her know where you are and what you’re doing. You get up from the table and put your dishes away without being asked. When you throw a candy wrapper toward the trashcan and it misses, you bend down and pick it up yourself without being told, because if you don’t she’ll have to. You honor your mother by making her workload easier.
The teenage years are usually the most difficult for a mother to endure. It’s a period when you’re asserting independence and struggling for control. Disobedience is so much easier because you’re going places and she’s not there—you can lie, and she can’t tell. Your friends are disrespectful to their parents, and it’s the in thing to do. You’re growing intellectually and socially and think you know best.
People Magazine asked teenagers in 2008, “Who would you want to be your mother? The number one vote-getter was Sharon Osbourne, wife of Ozzie Osbourne. She’s a mother in a dysfunctional family, who at the time was portrayed on MTV. The world’s values are so inverted!
As a teenager you’re encouraged to question authority and assert your independence. Someone said: “Adolescence is nature’s way of preparing parents to welcome the empty nest!” But when you obey, you bring honor to your mother and, more importantly, you are being obedient to God.
Ephesians 6: 1 – 3: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’” But notice there’s a promise—IF you obey your parents, it will go well with you. And your life will be a lot easier and happier if you obey. It’s common sense.
Let’s say you’re 15 years old and go out with your friends on Friday night. Your mom says, “I want you home by 11:00 at the latest.” You come sneaking in at 12:00. She’s waiting up for you and is irate. You exchange heated words. “You don’t trust me.” “You aren’t responsible.” The next morning your mother comes in your room at 9:00 a.m. and barks, “I want you out of this bed right now. You clean up this room - it’s a pig sty”. You lay in bed for another half hour until she keeps nagging and then you spend 45 minutes trying to toss things in drawers and under the bed. She comes in and yells, “Turn that music down. Are you playing it for the whole neighborhood?” You barely touch the dial. There’s tension in the house. It’s not going well with you. You spend most of the time on the phone complaining to your friends about how your parents abuse you and don’t understand you.
About suppertime you say, “Mom, some of the kids are going to the movies to see The Avengers tonight, and I’d like to go. And I need about $25.00.” Your mom explodes, “You came in late last night. You pout around all day. You don’t do what I ask. Your cleaning job in your room is like a 4-year-old. Now, you get all sweet and nice and want to go out again and have the gall to ask for $25. Do you think I’m absolutely crazy? Don’t answer that! No! You stay home tonight and get ready for church tomorrow.” It’s not going well with you.
Just think how much better your life would go if you would not only be obedient but mature enough to do the extra little things. You’re supposed to be in at 11:00 on Friday. You surprise your mother by coming in at 10:00. “Why are you home early? Something wrong?” “No, we were having a great time; I just wanted to come home early and spend time watching the news with you.” The next morning you get out of bed and start cleaning your room without being asked. You take down the risqué poster that bothers her and you put a Barry Manilow CD on. Then you go out and clean the garage. She thinks she’s got the greatest child in the world. And she does!
About suppertime, you say, “Mom, some of the kids are wanting me to go with them to the movies to see The Avengers and I don’t have the money. It’s $25. I’d like to go, but if you’d rather I not that’s okay.” She says, “No, I want you to go. Stay as late as you’d like. Here’s $50. I don’t know how you make your allowance stretch as well as you do.”
You probably think that’s a little bit unrealistic, and it is. But I guarantee you if you’d be mature enough to obey with grace and do the extra little things to help around the house, it would go well with you. That’s maturity and wisdom as a teenager. Obedience as a teenager honors your parents and follows in the footsteps of Jesus.
The next interaction that we read about between Jesus and His mother is in John 2.
Here we see:
#2: Respect & Compliance When You’re A Young Adult:
This occurs at the very beginning of His ministry 18 years later. A lot transpired in the life of Jesus between 12 and 30 that we don’t know much about. He grew in wisdom and stature and favor with God and man. He went through the same transitions that all of us do.
Apparently, His earthly Father died sometime during His teenage years because we never read about Joseph again. Mary is always by herself so the boy, Jesus, knew what it was to grieve and be very lonely.
Evidently, that’s why He remained in the carpenter’s shop until He was 30. He was providing for His mother and His younger brothers. The young man, Jesus, experienced manual labor. He knew what it was to transact business and make ends meet.
There’s nothing we experience that isn’t common to the Son of Man. But at age 30, Jesus turned over the carpenter’s tools to His younger brothers, got baptized, and announced the beginning of His ministry.
A few days later Jesus and His family were guests at a wedding in Cana. At the reception, which in those days lasted for as long as a week, the host ran short of wine. That was an embarrassment, and Mary wanted to help her friends out.
John 2:3: “When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to Him, ‘They have no more wine.’” (That was not an announcement; it was a request!)
If my mother says to me, “Chris, your cousin is going on a short-term mission trip, and he doesn’t have enough funds.” She’s not just informing me of facts. She’s making a request for financial assistance. Jesus’ mother said, “They’re short of wine.” She was asking for Jesus to help. “Dear woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied.
Leon Morris, in his New International Commentary, says, “’Woman’ is not as cold in the Greek as it is in English. He uses it in His last moments as He hangs on the cross and tenderly commends her to the beloved disciple. (it’s) a term of respect or affection. Yet we must bear in mind that it is most unusual to find it when a son addresses his mother. There appears to be no (other) examples of this cited…it is neither a Hebrew nor a Greek practice. That Jesus calls Mary ‘woman’ and not ‘mother’ probably indicates that there’s a new relationship between them as He enters His public ministry. And if the form of address is tender, the rest of Jesus’ words make it clear that there was something of a barrier between them. Evidently Mary thought of the intimate relations of the home at Nazareth persisting. But Jesus in His public ministry was not only or primarily the son of Mary, but the son of man who was to bring the realities of heaven to men. A new relationship was established.”
Jesus affirmed His independence from His mother. He wasn’t bound by her wishes anymore. Her agenda wasn’t necessarily His agenda. Jesus said, “My time has not yet come.” (It wasn’t time to fully disclose His identity.)
His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever He tells you.” It’s as though Jesus’ mother said, “He can do anything. I have total confidence in Him. He’ll take care of it. Just do what He says.” Jesus then responded with His first miracle—turning water into wine—in response to His mother’s request.
There will be times you feel like your mother is interfering in your adult life. You’ve completed school, left home, established a family and yet your mother still tries to tell you what to do. “You ought to look for another job.” “Are you eating out again?” “Why don’t you move back here?” “It’s about time you have children, if you wait until you can afford it, you never will.” “Why did you spend so much for a house?” “Don’t you think she should have a sweater on?” “Don’t make her eat that!”
That happens, not just when you’re in your 20’s, for some that continues all through your adult life. Someone wrote, “No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.”
Sometimes it’s your mother’s fault—she’s just domineering, and you have to be mature enough to ignore it and go on. Sometimes it’s your fault—you just need to establish your independence. You still act like a child around her, so she treats you like a child. Or you are so afraid of alienating her you allow her to manipulate you.
You blame her, but it’s really your lack of courage that’s the problem. Maybe you need to have the courage to say, “No, Mom; we’ll be home every other year for Christmas—on alternate years I’m going to the in-laws.”
Sometimes when your mother seems to be interfering, she’s right. Maybe she doesn’t approach it as gently as you would like, but she knows what she’s talking about.
Think how much more you know now than you did 20 years ago. Don’t you think you’ll gain some more wisdom in another 20 or 30 years? Your mother has that perspective of age and experience and you need to listen.
Steve Chapman, a Christian musical artist, says his mother was a Godly Pentecostal woman. She didn’t just pray to God; they had a conversation! But when he went off to college, he disregarded her counsel and got into everything.
When he came home for the summer, one week his parents went on vacation and left him alone in the house. While they were gone he decided he’d get out the pipe he’d brought home from college and smoke a little marijuana. He said, “Looking back, I can’t believe I violated that sacred place, but I did. When I was finished, I wondered what I should do with the pipe cleaner I used. I rolled that thin wire up in a tiny ball, wrapped it in a napkin, stuck it inside a soup can and packed more napkins on top of that and stuck it down in the bottom of the trash can.”
“That night my parents came home and the next morning, my mother was in my room about 8:00 a.m. She sat down on my bed and asked, “Son, what were you doing with pipe cleaners?”. He said, “Mom, how did you find it?”. She said, “God told me where it was!”.
Some of you have Godly mothers, but you’ve strayed from the faith she imparted to you. She’s always looking for some way to pull you back into living right. One of the most selfish, hurtful things you do is to ridicule that faith—belittle her counsel. You not only blaspheme God, you wound the heart of your mother.
If you have a Godly mother who refuses to quit on you, be grateful. It may be her prayers that have spared you from God’s wrath. It may be her reminders that will bring you back to God’s will and save you for eternity. Maybe you need to listen to her before it’s too late.
Jesus turned water into wine to help the host but also to be respectful of His mother’s desires even though she may have been imposing a bit. We would be wise to follow in His steps.
Turn with me to the gospel of Mark the 3rd chapter: Here we see:
#3: Patience & Tolerance When Your Mother Is Wrong:
Here we read an incident between Jesus and His mother where she was completely wrong about Him.
Mark 3:20-21: “Then Jesus entered a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that He and His disciples were not even able to eat. When His family heard about this, they went to take charge of Him, for they said, “He is out of His mind.”
Jesus’ popularity was beginning to snowball. Rumors circulated that He was the Messiah. Everyone was buzzing about Jesus. But when His family heard about what was taking place they were disturbed.
We read later that Jesus’ younger brothers didn’t believe He was the Messiah until after He had risen from the dead. It’s sometimes hard for a family or friends to accept that someone close to them is extra special.
Remember when Jesus first went to “His hometown, He began teaching the people in their synagogue, and they were amazed. ‘Where did this man get this wisdom and these miraculous powers?’ they asked. ‘Isn’t this the carpenter’s son? Isn’t His mother’s name Mary, and aren’t His brothers James, Joseph, Simon and Judas? Aren’t all His sisters with us? Where then did this man get all these things?’ And they took offense at Him. But Jesus said to them, ‘Only in His hometown and in His own house is a prophet without honor’” (Matthew 13: 54 – 57).
Jesus’ own brothers were offended by the inference that He was the Messiah. His brothers thought, “He’s a good guy, but He’s just a man.” So, they came to take charge of Him because they thought He must be out of His mind.
Hear this from The Message: “They suspected He was getting carried away with Himself.” They brought Mary with them. They must have persuaded her that Jesus’ life was endangered because she went along with their efforts to rescue Him. Maybe in her mind she was thinking, “He’s not taking time to rest or eat. He needs to come home for a break and get a good meal.”
Mark 3:31-35 says, “Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call Him. A crowd was sitting around Him, and they told Him, ‘Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.’ ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ He asked. Then He looked at those seated in a circle around Him and said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Who-ever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.’”
Jesus’ could have publicly humiliated His mother, “Wait a minute. How did you get pregnant out of wedlock? Didn’t you say an angel visited you? How many times did you whisper in my ear when I was growing up that I was the chosen of God? How can you let me down like this?” But instead He calmly stood His ground and affirmed that those who shared His convictions and goals were His closest relatives.
There will be times when your mother is wrong. When we’re young we idolize our parents and think they’re perfect. But then there comes a day when we discover our parents have feet of clay. They’re not perfect parents, perfect mates, or perfect Christians.
Someone said, “The four people you have the most difficulty forgiving are your mother, your father, yourself and God.” (You’ll forgive strangers quicker than those closest to you because you’re so hurt that they haven’t met your unrealistic expectations.)
Often, we go to the opposite extreme in the teen years and see them as total failures and ridicule or resent them. But maturity is when you forgive your parents for their imperfection but still appreciate the invaluable contribution they have made to your life.
Don’t be bitter against her all your life and blame all your problems on your mother. Welcome to the real world. Forgive her. But don’t allow her ongoing erroneous influence to divert you from walking in obedience to God.
There may be times when you have to admit, she’s just wrong. Maybe she doesn’t share your spiritual values, and she criticizes you for being baptized or changing churches, or giving away so much money, or the way you raise your children, or the fact that you stay with your spouse. She thinks you’re out of your mind.
Jesus sets a positive example for how we should respond in that kind of circumstance. Don’t let your mother’s wrong opinions prevent you from doing what is right. But be tolerant, patient as possible, knowing that in the end truth prevails.
Acts 1:14 reports that following Jesus’ death and resurrection, “They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.” Mary witnessed the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. She was there at the beginning of the early church. Her claims of a virgin birth and the promise from an angel were now proven to be true. She had to wait 33 years, but she’d been vindicated.
But when she was wrong, Jesus had been understanding and respectful. We would do well to follow in His steps.
Turn to one final passage, John 19: 25 – 27: Here we see:
#4: Care and provision when your mother is in need:
Here Jesus shows that another way to honor your mother is to make sure she has care and provision when she’s in need.
John 19: 25 – 27 reads, “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother,” (She must have been in her early 50’s at this time, not aged, but living alone as a widow.) “When Jesus saw His mother there, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.”
At the foot of the cross were the two people Jesus loved the most, His mother and John, the beloved disciple. Jesus made provision for His mother to be cared for after He died.
For some reason His brothers and sisters were not capable of taking care of Mary. Were their homes too small? Their children too numerous? Their incomes too meager? We don’t know.
But John had the capability of caring for her and shared her spiritual faith. So, Jesus entrusted to John the responsibility of caring for His mother after He was gone.
Part of honoring your mother is to make sure that she’s provided for when she can’t take care of herself. Children have an obligation to honor their parents as they grow older.
That might mean seeing that their needs are met in case you should die before they do…as did Jesus. It might mean pitching in with the resources, so your parents can live their final years in dignity. It might mean showing tender love and care even when their health or mental faculties begin to fail.
Leviticus 19:32 says, “Rise in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.”
Honor your mother today; she deserves it for the sacrifices she made for you. In the end you honor your mother the most by honoring Jesus Christ in your own life.
The story of Todd Beamer is pretty well known. On September 11th he was aboard Flight 93 when it was hijacked by terrorists. Todd and several others charged the cockpit and forced the plane to crash in a Pennsylvania field, thereby preventing an attack somewhere along Pennsylvania. Avenue in Washington, D.C. Before saying, “Let’s roll!” and attacking the terrorists, Todd attempted to call his wife to say goodbye. When he couldn’t reach her, he called a GTE Airfone operator who later relayed his conversation and words of farewell to Lisa, his wife, with whom he had graduated from Wheaton a few years before.
The media reported the heart-rending account of how Todd asked the operator to pray the Lord’s Prayer with him. Ironically, the home Bible study that Todd and Lisa belonged to were in the process of studying the Lord’s Prayer.
But Todd’s first exposure to the Lord’s Prayer was not in that class but at his mother’s knee. The parents took the kids to church, read the Bible around the breakfast table, and imparted Godly values to their children.
I have heard David and Peggy Beamer give their testimony. Peggy Beamer fought back tears in speaking of her son’s death, but her pride in her son was undeniable. You could just tell, she knew he had given his life for his country and, even more importantly, had honored his Lord in doing so. She knew where he was and was confident she would see him again one day soon. 3 John 1:4 says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.”
If you had a Godly mother, the greatest way you can honor her is to be a Christian, plan to spend eternity with her and with Christ. Maybe this day is the time for you to return to the truth you were taught as a child and walk in obedience to Christ.
