A comparison of our love with the love of Jesus revealed in 1 Corinthians 13
Chico Alliance Church
Pastor David Welch
“Genuine Love”
John 13 begins a series of vital lessons Jesus taught his disciples during the last week of his ministry on earth. Nearly every principle necessary to become a fruitful follower of Jesus rests among these five chapters of the Bible.
Lesson One - Forgive like Jesus
Lesson Two - Love like Jesus
Jesus issued a specific commandment that when followed would demonstrate the authenticity of their commitment to Him.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”
Here Jesus elevates love to its highest ideal. Continually love one another just like I love you and will continue to love you. It is new in the sense that this kind of love is rare if not an absent among men since the fall of man. The demonstration of this divine level of mutual love stands as a most significant identifying characteristic of genuine followers of Christ.
"By this(mutual love) all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." John 13:31-35
The most effective power for evangelism today has never changed since the beginning of the church -- the power of genuine love. What effectively and eternally impacts a selfish culture is the demonstration of genuine selfless love and undeniable unity with God and each other that cannot be duplicated apart from the God of love and unity. Christians demonstrating this Trinitarian community capture the attention of the world.
Only one definition of love captures its essence – God is love. Wherever you see God manifested, you see love in action. Wherever you see love in action, you see God demonstrated. When those made in God’s image once again demonstrate the love of the one whose image they represent, those in a love-starved-world take notice.
Before the fall, man’s natural relational bent was selfless giving and ministry. Since the fall, that selfless giving and ministry to others deteriorated into a life of selfish grabbing and manipulation for self. Only the King can restore us to a life that operates according to the royal law of love. Only he can reboot the system to its original settings.
None of us care to admit that we don’t really genuinely love God or others but ourselves. I believe that until we honestly compare our pitiful attempts to love in the flesh to the glorious masterpiece so clearly demonstrated by God in the Bible, we will continue to miss true joy and divine fullness in life and continue our failure to significantly impact in our world.
Today I want to pick up again in 1 Corinthians 13 where Paul provides a portrait of love that should increase our understanding both what genuine love IS and what love DOES.
Paul employs six demonstrations of ministry to others that can be done without love.
I speak eloquently and even perhaps supernaturally.
I have prophecy
I have all knowledge
I have all faith so as to remove mountains
I give at a point in my life all my possessions to feed the poor
I give up my body to be burned
“but do not continually demonstrate, have, possess, or enjoy love”
It becomes only an irritating sound to the people who hear.
I become of no eternal significance. (I am nothing)
I personally gain nothing in terms of eternal value or reward.
Working Definition of Love
Biblical love is a divinely driven decision to pursue community with God and others and demonstrate that desire by selfless care and service that significantly touches the one being loved.
Three Dimensions of Love Genuine love
Love begins with a DESIRE to meaningfully connect with people that stimulates a DECSION to pursue meaningful connection and ends in DEEDS that promote community.
God’s core desire to restore connection with us was so strong that it stimulated a decision to do something about it that ended in the plan of redemption and the sacrifice of His own Son. Genuine love has to do with the passion for, and the pursuit and practice of community. Love has to do with meaningful relationship. Therefore, most of the portraits we find of love focus on practicing the things that build meaningful relationships and avoiding the things that block meaningful relationships. Here in 1 Corinthians, like a beautiful fragrant and delicate rose, Paul portrays the nature and power of love by describing a rose with fourteen unique two-sided pedals.
NOTE: All the verbs used here to describe love are present tense verbs indicating continuous action or practice or a lifestyle.
It is interesting to reflect on to whom this chapter was written.
Paul pens the most significant chapter on love to a collection of carnal Christians in need of it most. I think Paul provides only a representative list reflecting what this divine love is and does.
LOVE IS
Is continually Long-tempered(patient) not short-tempered
Made up of two Greek words macro (long) and thumia (hot flashing anger or temper) Love at its core constantly longs for restored community. Nothing disrupts meaningful community like flesh driven flashy anger. The spiritual longing of genuine love for community is stronger than the selfish desire of the flesh to retaliate or react. If love controls my actions, I will develop and demonstrate long anger. I will forgo the flesh’s natural desire to react or respond with body language or verbal tone or physical actions that communicate a self-centered focus rather than an others-centered focus.
James teaches that conflict is the result of a selfish agenda.
How quick are we to respond to the things others do that hurt or annoy us? Genuine love delays the angry reaction or response for the higher purpose of understanding or to preserve or deepen the relationship. Love avoids anything that might hinder or harm relationships. Since God is love, does He demonstrate this aspect? Of course! God continually holds back His anger against our sin in order to restore relationship.
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient (long-angered) toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
…regard the patience of our Lord to be salvation... 2 Peter 3:15
Until this restraint of anger toward others becomes a lifestyle, a character trait, not just an occasional thing we do not love with genuine love.
Love desires deeper connection with God and others, therefore…
Love is long-tempered not short tempered all the time.
Do we care about others enough to change how we respond? Angry responses only indicate unbridled selfish core that cares more about my agenda.
Take inventory!
Is continually Kind not cruel or apathetic
Where as long–temper focuses on withholding expression of the negative, kindness focuses on gracefully expressing the positive. Longsuffering is willing to “take” anything from others. Kindness is willing to “give” anything for the sake of others. Kindness involves doing helpful things for others. It not only feels generous but also IS generous. This aspect of love offers helpful acts and looks for ways to minister to people in need in hopes of deepening relationship. It longs to relive suffering or express affirmation and care to others. Love keeps an eye out to the basic needs that others have.
The opposite of kindness is not necessarily cruelty it could be apathy. To simply not care about meeting the needs of others is unkind. God manifests this aspect of love even to the wicked and ungrateful.
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.
Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance? Romans 2:4
Again, this is a lifestyle not just an occasional thing. Love continually looks for opportunities to do good things for others in order to deepen or restore relationship. Do we care about others enough to give the thought, time and resources to express kindness?
Love desires deeper connection with God and others, therefore…
Love is kind not cruel or apathetic all the time.
Take inventory.
Paul switches from what love is to what love isn’t on several of the following phrases. I am going to continue trying to examine both sides of the pedals of this marvelous rose.
Is continually supportive not jealous
The word used here and translated “jealous” can be positive or negative depending on the context. It is the word meaning “to be zealous, to boil, to strive for”. Zeal and ambition can be good or bad depending on the motive and objective. The Corinthians were horribly jealous and ambitious people. In the previous chapter Paul highlighted their lack of genuine love. Actually in the whole letter he laments their continual internal strife.
“But you earnestly desire (same word) the greater gifts!
“But I show you a more excellent way” – love which is not jealous of others.
Jealousy is deeply damaging to the body.
Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:13-16
Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy? Proverbs 27:4
Wherever we find conflict, we will discover jealousy somewhere in the soil. There are two levels to jealousy.
• “I earnestly desire what someone else has!”
• “I earnestly desire that they didn’t have what they have.”
Jesus demonstrated a love that did not seek to have more but give more. You can’t properly relate to those you envy. Jealousy and selfish ambition absolutely prevent the expression of genuine love. Love requires selfless giving. Jealousy is all about selfish grabbing. You cannot pursue your needs and others at the same time. Love seeks the best for others. Envy and jealousy seeks the best for self. Love continues to be supportive no matter what. Love delights at the successes and blessing of others. The Corinthians failed to demonstrate this kind of attitude because they failed to love. Do we care about people enough to deny any desire to compete or conquer and release the spirit-motivated desire to celebrate and cooperate with others?
Love desires deeper connection with God and others and therefore…
Love is not jealous but supportive all the time.
Take inventory.
Is determined to build others (humble) not self (arrogant)
Paul zeros in on the negative aspect of this attribute of love. The word used by Paul here is a very visual one. It is the action of a bellows, a windbag. In the middle voice it is the idea of puffing oneself up to look better than others. He who toots his own horn invariable plays off key. Mostly this fleshly drive has to do with the determination to build a reputation. Paul crawled all over the Corinthians for their inflated view of themselves.
Now these things, brethren, I have figuratively applied to myself and Apollos for your sakes, that in us you might learn not to exceed what is written, in order that no one of you might become arrogant in behalf of one against the other. 1 Cor. 4:6
Now some have become arrogant, as though I were not coming to you. But I will come to you soon, if the Lord wills, and I shall find out, not the words of those who are arrogant, but their power. 4:18-19
And you have become arrogant, and have not mourned instead, in order that the one who had done this deed might be removed from your midst. 1 Cor. 5:2
Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies. 1 Cor. 8:1
"GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." James 4:6
You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE. 1 Peter 5:5
The self-centered, arrogant heart only cares about looking superior to others. Tries to show we are smarter than others by having to comment on everything. Tries to show ourselves better by criticizing others. Tries to appear better than we are by making others appear worse than they are. The heart of love pursues opportunities to make others look good and feel good in Christ and build them up.
Humility is the quality of heart that sustains a proper view of one’s self from God’s perspective and therefore has no need to promote or protect one’s self.
In Christ we have nothing to nothing to prove, nothing to lose, nothing to protect. In Christ we find the ultimate demonstration of humility. In fact, God calls us to adopt his attitude in Philippines 4. The heart of love senses no drive to prove anything or to pursue anything but love. A heart that focuses on building self has no time to build others. Love gives the time to build others.
Love desires deeper connection with God and others, therefore…
Love is determined to build others NOT self all the time.
Take inventory.
Is tolerant not provoked
Again, Paul presents the negative aspect of this attribute -- “Not provoked”
Note: The word “easily” is not in the original. Paul uses a word that speaks of irritation, provoke to anger. It describes as “sudden outburst of emotion or action”.
Now while Paul was waiting for them at Athens, his spirit was being provoked within him as he was observing the city full of idols. Acts 17:16
Because love pursues a deeper relationship it is able to overlook those daily little irritating things that obstruct relationships. A self-centered motive sets us up to be irritated at the actions or lack of actions by others. Until I deal with self-centeredness or bitterness it will be like an open sore that continually gets bumped by others causing a negative reaction every time. When I allow bitterness to take root in the soul I will react to that person more easily than others. Isn’t it interesting that when we commit to pursue, maintain and deepen relationship with someone the things that would normal irritate or provoke us don’t?
Many married your spouse with a full realization of one or two possible irritations. But because you committed to the relationship they were not an issue until time tested your commitment. Once a couple looses the commitment to pursue relationship (love) every little thing then becomes a major obstacle. Once the commitment to pursue relationship dies, tolerance dies.
Love pledges to deepen relationship and cannot therefore be provoked. Because Jesus committed to restore wandering sheep, nothing could provoke a retaliatory response.
and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 1 Peter 2:23-24
When we become provoked, we rarely look at ourselves. The blame shits to the provoker.
“You make me mad.” Paul says, “When we have genuine love, nothing can make us mad!”
Love desires deeper connection with God and others, therefore…
Love is tolerant not provoked all the time.
Take inventory.
Talks about the qualities of others not self (does not brag)
Again Paul presents the negative side of the attribute. The word for bragging is found only here in the New Testament and means to talk conceitedly. It is the natural manifestation of an arrogant self-centered heart to talk about itself. The Corinthian believer’s fleshly focus resulted in gatherings where everyone tried to demonstrate their superiority to everyone else. Solomon spoke concerning this principle.
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips. Proverbs 27:2
Our bragging may manifest in subtle ways. A motivation to draw attention to ourselves will always manifest in some way. A self-centered person that tries to convince others how great they are blocks relationships both with God and others. God is not impressed and neither are people.
Love desires to deepen connection to God and others, therefore…
Love looks for ways to speak of the qualities of others, not self.
Take inventory.
Acts thoughtfully not shamefully
Paul looks again at the negative aspect of this next attribute. The word used here carries the idea of shameful, embarrassing or indecent actions. The last thing we want to do to someone with whom we desire to deepen relationship is cause them shame by our actions, especially God. By our actions or dress or manners or talk. The Corinthians were not demonstrating even this toward one another as at the Lord’s supper they didn’t even wait for others. They also would cause others to feel ashamed because they were poor.
Nothing blocks relationship building like inconsiderate behavior. The women were not dressing or acting appropriately.
The flip side is to act with consideration and thoughtfulness and admirable behavior. Some translations translate, “love has good manners.” I think it goes beyond just manners but includes all behavior. Love avoids behavior that might shame or embarrass those we love.
Love desires to deepen connection with God and others, therefore…
Love acts thoughtfully not unbecomingly.
Take inventory.
Seeks to serve others not self
Two tombstones in a small English village cemetery provide a gripping contrast.
Here lies a miser, who lived for himself, and cared for nothing but gathering wealth.
Now where he is or how he fares, nobody knows and nobody cares.
Sacred to the memory of General Charles George Gordon,
who at all times and everywhere gave
his strength to the weak, his substance to the poor,
his sympathy to the suffering, his heart to God.
Paul called the Philippians and us as well to be alert to the needs of others.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philip. 2:3-4
Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor. 1 Cor. 10:24
For I have no one else of kindred spirit who will genuinely be concerned for your welfare. For they all seek after their own interests, not those of Christ Jesus. Philip. 2:20-21
Here we find the central part of this beautiful rose to which all the others connect. One commentator wrote, “Cure selfishness and you have just replanted the garden of Eden.
By now it should be quite clear that at the core of our failure to demonstrate the attributes of genuine love is selfishness and pride. We live in a culture absolutely committed to the “me first” philosophy.
Love desires to deepen connection with God and people, therefore…
Love seeks to serve others not self all the time.
Take inventory.
Forgives not tracts the evil actions of others
For this next attribute of genuine love Paul employs an accounting term. Paul uses a term that means to calculate or reckon. Tracking offenses that others do to us will stand in the way of building relationship. We talked about forgiving one another earlier. Reformat your hard drive the holds the offenses of others. Wipe it out and then do not record them. This characteristic of love even goes further I think than forgiving it does not make a habit of tracing the bad things people do. We are so adept at tracking dirt. What an example in Jesus who ministered equally to Judas as the others knowing his heart. God “passed over” sins of the past until adequate payment though Christ would be made. Love covers a multitude of sins.
Love desires to deepen connection with God and people, therefore…
Love forgives and overlooks not tracts the bad deeds of others all the time.
Take inventory.
Rejoices in truth not unrighteousness
The world suppresses the truth by living the lie. The world lives according to what is right in their own eyes but wrong in God’s. To rejoice is to take delight in, to indicate an inward delight by an outward expression -- A smile, a laugh, a song, a word which expression what we are feeling inside. One who really loves God does not express delight in things that are contrary to the character and purposes of God. In contrast genuine love expresses outward delight at the triumph of truth over evil. If we really love God and all that he stands for and tells us is good and right, how is it we can express delight in the things that grieve Him? You can’t watch television very long until you find yourself tempted to laughing along with the laugh track at things that should normally outrage us. We should not rejoice when evil visits another human being.
Genuine love desires to deepen connection with people, therefore…
Love rejoices in truth not violations of God’s truth all the time.
Take inventory
The last run on attributes of love flow powerfully to the end.
It bears all
It belies all
It hopes all
It endures all
Protects not reveals all
This verb comes from a stem meaning “to cover,” “to conceal.” It is a rare term but persists in both prose and common speech. Its basic meaning is “to keep covered,” but this gives it such senses as “to protect,” “to ward off,” “to hold back,” “to resist,” “to support.” It can also mean “to keep secret,” “to keep silent,” “to keep a confidence.”
The thought here is to expose the sin while protecting the sinner. We are so quick to expose the failures of others. Genuine love cannot ignore sin but seeks to restore the sinner.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions. Proverbs 10:12
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but the glory of kings is to search out a matter. Proverbs 25:2
True love corrects, disciplines, guides in a way that deepens relationship.
Love desires to deepen connection with God and people therefore…
Love protects not reveals all things all the time.
Take inventory.
Believes not questions all
This is not gullibility. Love longs to give the benefit and believe the best from others. Love also maintains faith in God to bring about good even from difficult situations and relationships. We have a tendency to wonder what good can come of a situation. We have a tendency to question the motives of others.
Love desires to deepen connection with God and people, therefore…
Love believes not questions all, all the time.
Take inventory!
Hopes for the best not the worst
The next step in belief is hope that things will improve. When love runs out of faith it hold on to hope. Love not only believes the best but hopes for the best. As long as God’s grace is operative human failure is never final. Paul hoped for the best and believed the best for the Corinthian believers in spite of the catalogue of failures already registered. Our tendency is not to hope for the best for others. We secretly expect them to continue to fail.
Genuine love desires to deepen connection with God and people. therefore…
Love always hopes for the best not the worst.
Take inventory!
Endures not evades all
Paul employs a military term meaning to hold a vital position at all costs. Love holds out for the best no matter what. As Jesus loved them to the end we too must love one another to the end. It may be painful. It may be uncomfortable. It may mean letting go and backing off. But it definitely means that no matter what, we never stop loving. We never give up on the possibility of taking our relationship with others to deeper levels.
Love always desires to deepen connection with God and people, therefore…
Love endures not evades difficulty.
Take inventory!
Love always lasts and never fails not quits
When everything else runs its course and no longer applies, love remains as the glue that continues to hold the community of believes together with God. After love protects, it believes. After it believes it hopes. After it hopes it endures. The is not “after” for endurance, for endurance is the unending climax of love because at its core love never fails because God never fails.
Love always desires to deepen connection God and people, therefore…
Love always lasts and never quits.
Take inventory!
Desires of the flesh as opposed to the desires of the reborn spirit!
Genuine Love – Spirit driven NOT Hypocritical Love – Flesh driven
Long-tempered NOT Short-tempered
Kind NOT Apathetic or cruel
Supportive of others NOT Jealous of others
Determined to build up others NOT Determined to build up self
Tolerant of the actions of others NOT Provoked by the actions of others
Talks about the qualities of others DOESN’T Talk about their own qualities
Acts thoughtfully DOESN’T Act shamefully
Seeks to satisfy others DOESN’T Seek to satisfy self
Forgives and overlooks other’s offenses DOESN’T Track other’s offenses
Rejoices in truth DOESN’T Rejoice in evil
Protects all DOESN’T Reveal all
Believes all DOESN’T Question all
Hopes for the best DOESN’T Expect the worst
Endures difficulty DOESN’T Evade difficulty
Always lasts and never fails DOESN’T Quit
Develop the longings of the selfless spirit – deny the longings of the selfish flesh.
How did you do?
We need help!
All of these pedals that comprise this beautiful rose deal mostly with how we treat and respond to one another.
Few of them have to do with doing deeds.
We have a long way to go to love like Jesus.
Restoring genuine love starts by admitting our failure to really love like Jesus and therefore a failure to obey his fundamental world-changing command to love one another.
Restoring genuine love starts by admitting how self-centered we act a good part of the time.
Look to Jesus. Jesus is the ultimate demonstration of the nature of love.
One could substitute Jesus for love in this passage.
If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not reflect Jesus, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not reflect Jesus, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not reflect Jesus, it profits me nothing. Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind, and is not jealous; Jesus does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; He does not seek His own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Jesus never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I shall know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now abide faith, hope, Jesus, these three; but the greatest of these is Jesus. 1 Cor. 13:1-13
Are we going to copy the picture He left or our feeble facsimiles?
