“Living In Purity”
Ephesians 5:3-14
REVIEW
I. Our Wealth and Worth In Christ 1-3
II. Our Worthy Walk in Christ 4-6
A. Live in Unity 4:1-16
B. Live in Newness of life 4:17-24
C. Live in Love 4:17-24
D. Live in Purity 5:3-14
Review
Paul isolated two specific groups of people in this section of his letter. He contrasted the sons of disobedience (those who reject God’s standard) and the children of light (those who embrace God’s standard). He provided specific instruction for children of light living among the sons of disobedience.
Avoid all involvement in the deeds of darkness or with any who practice them.
Live like grateful children of light who please God by their life and expose evil in the world.
1. Guard your reputation 5:3-6
2. Guard your associations 5:7-10
3. Guard your lifestyle / practice 5:11-14
INTRODUCTION
Last week I unpacked the basic content of this passage. This week want to suggest some specific applications to our present culture. There is a fine line between Biblically exposing evil and crossing the line into shameful conversation concerning the details. The Bible never backs away from the subject of sensuality and sexuality. The subject runs all the way through the Bible. The good, the bad and the ugly gets exposed for what it is. It is a subject that is a massive problem not only in our culture but even in the church. It is the proverbial elephant in the room that is obvious to all but intentionally avoided by most.
Paul was clear that sexual and sensual behavior should not even be named in the church.
There should not even be a hint of such behavior among members of God’s eternal kingdom.
Unfortunately it is not only named but at times is considered normal. As I mentioned last week, the Bible addresses sensuality as well as sexual immorality. Sensuality is not necessarily sexual. Sexual immorality is an all-consuming sensuality. What qualifies something as sensuality rather than just a normal function of the senses? Something sensual merely deals with the senses. We are sentient beings. We feel, we hear, we see, we taste, we touch.
God made us that way. We are also spiritual beings with the capacity to function on another mysterious but real level. This is the level of connection to God who is spirit. Our connection to God through the spiritual aspect of our being must be primary. True Meaning and purpose in life can only be found through intimate relationship with our Creator.
Satan succeeded in diverting Adam and Eve’s focus from their dependence on Him for life to seek life on their own terms without God. Rather than living in daily dependence on God, Satan suggested the possibility of becoming equal with Him. (Be like God!)
Of course he himself had already tried that and failed miserably but he knew such a focus would severely sabotage humanity’s union with God. He succeeded in causing them to become self-focused rather than God-focused.
When we seek meaning and life primarily from the things that appeal to our senses rather than deeper connection with God, our life focus becomes sensual rather than spiritual. That focus dethrones God from His primary position and elevates things and experiences.
There is a rather simple but effective test to detect a sensual focus. For a time, eliminate all the things that directly appeal to our senses. Go on a fast from all the things that we turn to first when faced with the harsh reality of a fallen and painful world. Pay attention to the pangs of addiction. What do we depend on to bring solace and comfort from a difficult situation?
Where do we turn for relief from stress? They don’t call it comfort food for nothing. What do you do when you are stressed and tired and just want to “veg” and escape? We will generally engage in the things that stimulate the pleasure centers of the brain. Rather than process or endure pain, we do all we can to escape it.
Sensuality becomes addictive when we expect things that stir the senses to dull or postpone the pain, loneliness, boredom, fear, insecurity, disappointment, hopelessness, depression, discouragement. It may include a whole range of things and activities many of which are not evil in themselves. God says He has given all things for us to enjoy. We of all people have the capacity to enjoy life. Survey after survey indicates the excessive amount of hours people spend in sensory stimulation through the media. Television not only stimulates the senses but stirs us in much deeper as it imparts moving stories with vivid imagery that mark our very soul.
It provides a temporary escape from the harsh realities of our world. It relieves boredom.
It powerfully penetrates the hearts of America.
According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube.
Millions of Americans are so hooked on television that they fit the criteria for substance abuse as defined in the official psychiatric manual, according to Rutgers University psychologist and TV-Free America board member Robert Kubey. Heavy TV viewers exhibit five dependency symptoms--two more than necessary to arrive at a clinical diagnosis of substance abuse.
These include: 1) using TV as a sedative; 2) indiscriminate viewing; 3) feeling loss of control while viewing; 4) feeling angry with oneself for watching too much; 5) inability to stop watching; and 6) feeling miserable when kept from watching.
By the time an average child finishes elementary school they have witnesses 8,000 murders and 200,000 acts of violence by age 18.
Number of minutes per week that parents spend in meaningful conversation with their children: 3.5
Number of minutes per week that the average child watches television: 1,680 (28 hours a week)
A Los Angeles Article form February 2009 reported: Teens watch about 6 1/2 hours of video on a mobile phone per month, as opposed to the nearly three hours that adults ages 18 to 24 watch.
This does not even take into account the number of hours spent on video games and computer time. Other studies have been done exposing the highly addictive nature of video games. Our senses get overloaded. It becomes impossible to focus without it. We are terrified to be alone without our own thoughts. We are lost without some sort of “background” noise.
Very little of this activity has any true value from an eternal perspective. It is time for which we will give account someday. Later Paul urged his readers to make the best use of their time as the end draws closer. There are other things that contribute to sensuality when engaged in for the purpose of escape or numbing from the real world; music, entertainment, sports, parties, shopping, games, gambling. In addition to these things, there is the whole food thing.
We are a food obsessed culture that lives to eat. A glutton does not have to be one who overeats but may include one who obsesses about food. Over indulgence on these things may lead to even more extreme addictive behaviors.
If asked to identify the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, most would cite sexual perversion.
Yet that was not the full story. Here is how the Bible evaluates it.
"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had arrogance, abundant food and careless ease, but she did not help the poor and needy. Ezekiel 16:49
Damaging sensuality may include chemical and immoral sexual escape. The reason for such behavior is the same. It is a counterfeit for genuine intimate connection with God and others.
Real life is full of pain and disappointment. It is much easier to engage in something that brings the promise of immediate gratification. The use of chemical and sexual stimulants is to cope with the pain of a fallen world. The bottom line is escaping or numbing from pain. The central point is why I engage in a behavior; to celebrate life or escape pain.
Sexuality is a powerful force that promises much more than it delivers. Even though it can beautifully illustrate relationship with God, it can never replace it. Satan has worked hard to pervert it into something that produces bondage rather than celebration and communication of oneness. Paul tells us not to let sexuality and sensuality and impurity and lust even to be named among us. Yet it is. Pastors and parishioners alike succumb on a daily basis. I became so burdened by example after example of Christians ravaged by sexual bondage I had to stop researching. Even one example is too many.
One pastor visited prostitutes every Monday as a release from the stress of ministry. Youth pastor conventions yield the highest “Adult movie” rentals of any other time. Both men and women betray their spouses for another. It destroys the soul. It ravages families.
My brother was charged with confronting fallen pastors in the Central pacific district. He said the reaction of wives when informed of their husband’s betrayal was enough to dissuade him.
There is a progression. Many do not wake up one day and decided to adopt deviant behavior.
In many cases the addictions begin in our youth. Sensual solutions to spiritual problems never bring lasting results. They may numb for the moment but the issues come back with a vengeance and more is needed the next time to bring the same level of escape.
Fantasy
It normally begins with Fantasy. It begins with unchallenged thoughts allowed to bounce around in the mind. These thoughts stimulate an emotional and sexual response. We must continually do as Paul suggests and take EVERY thought into captivity.
Soon the mental fantasy isn’t enough and we progress to visual stimulation.
Visual
The pornography industry is a multibillion dollar enterprise. It is pervasive. What was once only available from the3 seedy parts of town has become readily accessible through the internet graphically portraying every imaginable deviation. Some estimate that over 50% of church members have recently viewed pornographic material. One Leadership Magazine survey reported that 35% of pastors currently struggle with pornography.
Even non-Christian studies conclude devastating effect of pornography on a society.
It actually alters the physiological makeup of the brain. It degrades women into objects.
It paints a distorted picture of real life. It glorifies self-centered fulfillment of my needs. It enflames passions that cannot be practically satisfied; the flesh is NEVER satisfied. It strains marriages because no wife can compete with the Hollywood image and depiction of sexuality.
Magazines, internet, Swimsuit edition of Sports illustrated, movies, television all contribute to the development of a sensual and sexual addiction. Many of today’s models are still in their young teens. No wonder we have a child molestation epidemic.
Jesus was clear that even to look on a woman with a desire to “have her” is equal to adultery.
I would always remind my kids that sex is not a spectator sport. We view sexual situations on television that we would be arrested for watching outside.
Verbal
Thousands of dollars are spent on “800” numbers for a stimulating chat with a stranger.
The internet now proliferate “verbal” liaisons. Romance novels verbalize sexual situations that stir passions for the ideal man and a longing to “have” a lover like that.
Physical
Soon the verbal is not enough to numb the pain. The delusion has spread like deeply rooted weeds in the heart. The justification has already been reasoned out. The destroyer of souls is more than happy to arrange a connection between two hurting souls seeking relief apart from a new focus on our relationship with God. The pain now becomes even more intense because guilt and shame enter the equation. A cycle of resolve to do better and regretful relapse begins and accelerates. There is a determination to not to it again. There may even be intense prayer to God. Yet, because the core issues remain unresolved, the cycle repeats itself. It may be a month and even years between, but they cycle will repeat itself. The thrill of the chase, the pursuit the hunt; the mystery and danger of it all masquerade as real life.
The encounters with others may even become completely indiscriminate. The point is sexual stimulation and release. Many who claim to be bi-sexual are merely sexual. Numbing the pain becomes the central goal, not relationship. It is not uncommon for homosexuals to have 1,000 or more partners. There is incident after incident of this kind of stuff entangling well-meaning followers of Jesus.
Demonic
Such behavior nearly always invites demonic attachment. Paul warned about giving a place to the devil. Here is one sure way to open one’s self up. When our deliberate sin opens the door to demonic powers to dominate our life, we will eventually be driven to behave in ways that even we abhor. How could I do such a thing? As time goes on, demonic involvement will escalate to more intrusive and deviant behaviors. At this point we have a three-layered bondage; Psychological, physical, and spiritual bondage.
Sexuality and sensuality are like fire. The Bible issues numerous warnings against its abuse.
Handled properly, it produces warmth, light, energy. Mishandled it can cause devastating burns, permanent scars and even death. Paul appealed to God’s followers to realize that the Holy Spirit lives in their bodies and to treat them with respect and purity. Don’t defile His temple. We are clearly called to abstain from sexual immorality.
Finally then, brethren, we request and exhort you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us instruction as to how you ought to walk and please God (just as you actually do walk), that you excel still more. For you know what commandments we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8
Control your bodies in sanctification and honor not in uncontrolled lustful passion.
Don’t defraud your brother.
Don’t stir passions that cannot be righteously alleviated.
Our youth engage in behavior that continually defrauds each other.
Sex outside of God’s boundaries is like uncontrolled fire.
the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you. 1 Thess 4:6-8
Therefore, having these promises (of fellowship with God), beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. 2 Corinthians 7:1
It starts with a resolve to do whatever it takes to get free. It takes brutal honesty. It takes courage to deal with the truth. For some, you have been covering your struggles for years.
Sin always thrives in the darkness.
Two common denominators in the 15 cases of pastoral moral failure my brother confronted…
They became compulsive liars to themselves and others.
It started small and escalated out of control with the kind of progress we have outlined.
We need accountability to a trusted friend who we give permission to ask the hard questions.
Accountability to stop the behavior isn’t enough, it only extends the time between falls. We must understand to the core issues. We must address the reason for our self-medicating.
Then we must address the issue of our relationship with God.
When we get to the place where our first impulse is to turn to Christ for comfort, solace, energy, courage, meaning, hope, endurance and sense of life in a painful fallen world, we will be in a better position to avoid the lure of addictive sensuality, impurity and sexuality.
God has said something to you today. In your heart you have heard the Spirit’s direction.
What will you do? Don’t leave here without a resolve to obey. The one who hears and does nothing is like building on sand. There is no defense against the storm.
