THE FREEDOM OF FORGIVENESS
MATTHEW 6:12-15
A LETTER WAS WRITTEN FROM A LADY TO HER EX-BOYFRIEND EXPRESSING HER UNHAPPINESS SINCE SHE BROKE OFF THEIR ENGAGEMENT. IT READ:
DEAREST JIMMY:
NO WORDS COULD EVER EXPRESS THE GREAT UNHAPPINESS I’VE FELT SINCE BREAKING OUR ENGAGEMENT. PLEASE SAY YOU’LL TAKE ME BACK. NO ONE COULD EVER TAKE YOUR PLACE IN MY HEART, SO PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU.!
YOURS FOREVER, JANET
P.S.: CONGRATULATIONS ON WINNING THE 100 MILLION STATE LOTTERY.
SOMEONE PRAYING FOR FORGIVENESS ONCE SAID:
“FORGIVE ME MY NONSENSE, AS I ALSO FORGIVE THE NONSENSE OF THOSE WHO THINK THEY TALK SENSE.
BY NOW YOU PROBABLY REALIZED THAT I’M SPEAKING ON THE ISSUE OF FORGIVENESS TODAY. IT IS THE ONLY PETITION THAT JESUS ACTUALLY EXPOUNDS ON AS HE DOES IN VERSES 14 AND 15.
THIS IN FACT IS A VERY DIFFICULT PART OF THE PRAYER TO PRAY. IT SETS JESUS AS THE MODEL OF FORGIVENESS WE ARE TO COMPARE OURSELVES WITH AND THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN.
CONSIDER JESUS’ WORDS UPON THE CROSS AS THE STANDARD:
LUKE 23:34: 34 JESUS SAID, “FATHER, FORGIVE THEM, FOR THEY DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN WE SAY, I JUST CAN’T FORGIVE THIS GUY, HE’S GONE WAY TOO FAR.” WE THINK OF OUR FAMILIES, IF ONE OF THEM WERE HURT OR KILLED, THERE’S NO WAY I CAN FORGIVE THEM. I JUST CAN’T.
YET THIS IS JUST WHAT GOD DID FOR US ISN’T IT. WHEN JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS, HIS SACRIFICE WAS ACCEPTABLE AS A FULL PAYMENT OF OR SIN DEBT. IT WAS HIS LIFE FOR MINE AS THE SONG SAYS.
HAD WE BEEN THERE, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONES TO PUT JESUS ON THE CROSS. WE WOULD HAVE MOCKED HIM, THREW THINGS AT HIM, SPIT ON HIM, AND WE WOULD HAVE HEARD JESUS SAY “FATHER FORGIVE THEM.”
GOD THE FATHER HAD TO DEAL WITH A DYING SON, AND BECAUSE OF HIS DEATH, HE HAD TO FORGIVE, THE VERY PEOPLE WHO CAUSED HIS DEATH.
HOW’S THAT FOR A STANDARD!
WE WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT FORGIVENESS IS ONLY FOR THE PENITANT, AND NEED ONLY BE CONSIDERED IF ASKED FOR. THIS HOWEVER IS NOT WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS.
PSALM 103:10-14:
HE DOES NOT TREAT US AS OUR SINS DESERVE OR REPAY US ACCORDING TO OUR INIQUITIES. 11 FOR AS HIGH AS THE HEAVENS ARE ABOVE THE EARTH, SO GREAT IS HIS LOVE FOR THOSE WHO FEAR HIM; 12 AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST, SO FAR HAS HE REMOVED OUR TRANSGRESSIONS FROM US. 13 AS A FATHER HAS COMPASSION ON HIS CHILDREN, SO THE LORD HAS COMPASSION ON THOSE WHO FEAR HIM; 14 FOR HE KNOWS HOW WE ARE FORMED, HE REMEMBERS THAT WE ARE DUST
FORGIVENESS IS NOT ABOUT “RIGHT OR WRONG.” THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WRONGED BY SOMEONE, MAY NOT HAVE ANY GREAT SIGNIFICANCE ON THAT INDIVIDUAL. YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE AN APOLOGY, AND IF YOU SAY TO THEM THAT YOU WANT TO FORGIVE THEM FOR DOING YOU WRONG, THEY COULD JUST LAUGH AND SAY “SO WHAT”?
MOST PEOPLE CANNOT SEE THE PRISON THAT “UNFORGIVENESS” PUTS THEM IN. WE ALL KNOW ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE HELD GRUDGES AGAINST OTHERS FOR YEARS AND NEVER ATTEMPTED TO FORGIVE THE OTHER PERSON. FAMILY MEMBERS GO TO THEIR GRAVES BEARING GRUDGES AGAINST EACH OTHER BECAUSE NO ONE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY “I FORGIVE YOU.”
SOME PEOPLE I KNOW SAY I NEVER APOLOGIZE, I NEVER SAY I’M SORRY, EVEN IF I’M WRONG. TO SAY I’M SORRY IS TO SHOW A WEAKNESS. THEY HOLD THIS ATTITUDE FOR YEARS, WHEN ALL THEIR FRIEND WANTS TO HEAR IS A SIMPLE APOLOGY.
TODAY, I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH YOU HOW TO BE FREED FROM THE PRISON OF UNFORGIVENESS. I WANT TO LOOK AT HOW YOU CAN BE A FORGIVER IN CHRIST.
POINT ONE: WHAT IS BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS?
A KEY PROBLEM THAT WE HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO BEING A FORGIVER, IS THAT WE THINK ABOUT IT IN HUMAN TERMS, WHEN AS A CHRISTIAN WE ARE TO THINK ABOUT IT IN SUPERNATURAL TERMS.
FORGIVENESS DOESN’T COME IN OUR POWER, WE ARE TOTALLY AGAINST IT. BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS IS CENTERED IN THE OF ACTING IN THE POWER OF CHRIST.
COLOSSIANS 1:27: TO THEM GOD HAS CHOSEN TO MAKE KNOWN AMONG THE GENTILES THE GLORIOUS RICHES OF THIS MYSTERY, WHICH IS CHRIST IN YOU, THE HOPE OF GLORY.
PASTOR WAYNE MAGRUDER WROTE:
“FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO GOD’S GRACE BUT IT IS ALSO THE ONLY THING POWERFUL ENOUGH TO BREAK THE BONDS OF RESENTMENT WE CAN CARRY TOWARD SOMEONE WHO DOES SOMETHING TO US…..FORGIVENESS IS A LOT LIKE GRACE IN THE FACT THAT IT IS OFTEN UNMERITED, UNDESERVED AND UNFAIR.”
WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO FORGIVE YOU ARE RELEASING YOURSELF FROM CARRYING A LOAD OF GUILT AND ANGER THAT YOU NEED NOT BE CARRYING IN THE FIRST PLACE. THE WEIGHT OF THIS LOAD IS IMPOSSIBLE TO BEAR.
BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS DOES NOT NEGATE THE WRONG, NOR THE CONSEQUENCES OF THE WRONG. BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS MEANS THAT WE WILL PICK UP OUR LIVES BEYOND THE POINT OF THE WRONG. WE CEASE TO BECOME JUDGES AND IN FACT BECOME LIBERATORS, AND THE PERSON WE LIBERATE THE MOST IS OURSELVES.
BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS INVOLVES REMOVING RESPONSIBILITY FROM THAT PERSON. IN SHORT THEY NO LONGER OWE YOU ANYTHING.
WHAT THIS MEANS IS THAT YOU ARE CHOOSING TO MOVE BEYOND THE POINT OF YOUR HURT. BY REMOVING RESPONSIBILITY FROM THAT PERSON, YOU ARE FREEING YOURSELF FROM THE VIGIL OF JUDGING THAT PERSON.
IT MEANS: DON’T BRING IT TO THEM
DON’T BRING IT UP TO OTHERS
DON’T BRING IT UP TO YOURSELF
DON’T BRING IT UP TO GOD
BIBLICAL FORGIVENESS IS NOT FORGETTING. YOU CAN NEVER FORGET A WRONG THAT HAS BEEN DONE TO YOU, OR THAT YOU MAY HAVE DONE TO OTHERS. IT IS CHOOSING TO REMEMBER THE WRONG WITHOUT ANGER.
EPHESIANS 4:32: BE KIND AND COMPASSIONATE TO ONE ANOTHER, FORGIVING EACH OTHER, JUST AS IN CHRIST GOD FORGAVE YOU
C.S. LEWIS SAID:
“TO BE A CHRISTIAN MEANS TO FORGIVE THE INEXCUSABLE, BECAUSE GOD HAS FORGIVEN THE INEXCUSABLE IN YOU.
POINT TWO: THE BURDEN OF UNFORGIVENESS
ONE OF THE GREAT CONSEQUENCES OF UNFORGIVENESS IS THAT IT MAKES US A PRISONER TO IT. WE JUST CAN’T GET BEYOND THE POINT OF THE WRONG. THIS EFFECTS OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS AND WITH THE LORD, AS WE ARE NOT ACTING UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE SPIRIT.
GOD DID NOT EXTEND HIS GRACE AND FORGIVENESS TO US, AND NOT EXPECT US TO EXTEND IT TO OTHERS, AND IN THIS PETITION OF THE PRAYER JESUS IS LITERALLY TELLING US THAT THOSE WHO SIN AGAINST US DESERVE THE SAME PARDON THAT WE RECEIVED.
2 CORINTHIANS 1:12: NOW THIS IS OUR BOAST: OUR CONSCIENCE TESTIFIES THAT WE HAVE CONDUCTED OURSELVES IN THE WORLD, AND ESPECIALLY IN OUR RELATIONS WITH YOU, WITH INTEGRITY W AND GODLY SINCERITY. WE HAVE DONE SO, RELYING NOT ON WORLDLY WISDOM BUT ON GOD’S GRACE
IF WE LOOK AT OUR RESPONSIVE READING TODAY WE CAN SEE THE POWER OF UNFORGIVENESS AT IT’S FULLEST.
SHIMEI WAS A RELATIVE OF KING SAUL, WHO AS YOU KNOW WAS TRYING TO KILL DAVID. ABSALOM, DAVID’S SON ALSO TURNED AGAINST DAVID, RAISING AN ARMY AGAINST HIM.
AS DAVID WAS LEAVING TOWN SHEMEI BEGAN CURSING AND SWEARING AT HIM AND WAS VERY DISRESPECTFUL OF DAVID. HE WAS RESENTFUL THAT DAVID WAS NOW KING AND THAT SAUL’S FAMILY WAS OUTCAST. THIS RESENTMENT HAD BEEN BOILING INSIDE HIM FOR YEARS, AND NOW IT WAS FINALLY SHOWING IT’S UGLY HEAD.
THAT IS THE WAY UNFORGIVENESS WORKS. IT IS NOT A SWIFT ATTACK ON YOUR PERSON. IT ADDS A LITTLE AT A TIME UNTIL IT FINALLY CONSUMES YOU TOTALLY. IT CAN HAPPEN OVER A PERIOD OF YEARS. I HAVE KNOWN OF MARRIAGE BREAK-UPS, THAT HAVE OCCURRED OVER SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED SEVERAL YEARS EARLIER, BUT HAD NEVER BEEN DEALT WITH AND JUST ALLOWED UNKNOWINGLY TO GROW.
THERE ARE SEVERAL REASONS WHY UNFORGIVENESS DOESN’T WORK.
1. IT IS UNREASONABLE. IN SHEMEI’S CASE WE SEE HOW ILLOGICAL IT IS. HERE IS ONE MAN SHOWING DISRESPECT TO A KING, IN THE PRESENCE OF HIS ARMY.
THE INTERESTING THING HERE IS THAT WE SEE THAT RESENTMENT CAN SPREAD IF IT ALLOWED TO. DAVID COULD EASILY HAVE BEEN ANGERED AT SHEMEI AND HAD HIM KILLED. INSTEAD HE CHOSE TO MOVE ON. SOMETIMES WE MUST DO THE SAME THING. HE DIDN’T DENY THE INCIDENT. HE DIDN’T DENY THE HURT OF THE INCIDENT AND NOR SHOULD WE. WHAT DAVID DID WAS WEIGH THE SITUATION AND DETERMINE THAT AN ANGRY RESPONSE WOULD PLACE HIM AT THE SAME LEVEL AS SHEMEI.
DO YOU WANT TO BE AT THE SAME LEVEL AS THE PERSON WHO HAS HURT YOU? DO YOU WANT TO BE IMPRISONED BY THAT SAME GUILT AND ANGER? SOMETIMES THE BEST COURSE IS TO CHOOSE TO LEAVE YOUR RESENTMENT AT THE CROSS AND MOVE ON.
2. UNFORGIVENESS IS UNHELPFUL. HERE WHAT SOLOMON SAID ABOUT UNFORGIVENESS.
ECCLESIASTES 7:9: DO NOT BE QUICKLY PROVOKED IN YOUR SPIRIT, FOR ANGER RESIDES IN THE LAP OF FOOLS.
SHEMEI HELD ONTO HIS GRUDGE FOR 20 YEARS. WHO ACTUALLY WAS HURTING MORE AS A RESULT OF THIS? DAVID HAD MOVED ON. HE WASN’T THINKING ABOUT WHAT SHEMEI DID. HE PROBABLY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW ALL THE TIMES THAT SHEMEI WAS SPEAKING AGAINST HIM.
UNFORGIVENESS IS LIKE AN INFECTION IN A WOUND. IT FESTERS, AND AT DIFFERENT TIMES CAN BE MORE HURTFUL THAN OTHERS, BUT IT IS ALWAYS THERE. IT RELIVES THE INCIDENT OVER AND OVER AGAIN BUT WITHOUT ANY MEANS OF RESOLUTION, FOR THE ONLY RESOLUTION IS TO GO BEYOND IT AS DAVID DID.
D.L. MOODY THE GREAT PREACHER SAID:
“A GREAT MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO EMBALM THEIR TROUBLES. I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE RUNNING AWAY WHEN I SEE THEM COMING. THEY BRING OUT THEIR OLD MUMMY, AND TELL YOU IN A SAD VOICE, “YOU DON’T KNOW THE TROUBLES I HAVE.”…MY FRIEND IF YOU GO TO THE LORD WITH YOUR TROUBLES, HE WILL TAKE THEM AWAY. WOULD YOU NOT RATHER BE WITH THE LORD AND RID OF YOUR TROUBLES, THAN TO BE WITH YOUR TROUBLES AND WITHOUT THE LORD.”
3. UNFORGIVENESS IS UNHEALTHY. UNFORGIVENESS WILL SHORTEN YOUR LIFE. STUDIES HAVE CONFIRMED THAT BITTERNESS AND HATRED ARE DANGEROUS EMOTIONS. IT ATTACKS OUR BODIES, AND THE SCORECARD IS OFTEN FOUND IN ULCERS, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY AND STRESS. IT’S LIKE COMPOUND INTEREST, IT ADDS TO OUR PHYSICAL MAKEUP AND EVENTUALLY WILL LEAD TO AN EARLY DEATH.
POINT THREE: HOW CAN WE FORGIVE?
WHILE IT IS EASY TO GIVE DIRECTION IN HOW TO FORGIVE, IT IS QUITE ANOTHER THING TO DO IT. THERE ARE THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO US THAT IN OUR OWN POWER WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO FORGIVE. THAT IS WHY FORGIVENESS IS DEPENDANT ON OUR WALK WITH THE LORD.
1. REFOCUS ON GOD: THERE IS NO ISSUE THAT WE ARE ALLOWED NOT TO FORGIVE. FORGIVENESS IS NOT AN OPTION BUT A COMMAND OF JESUS.
THE PROBLEM WE FACE IN FORGIVENESS IS THAT WE HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME REALIZING THAT CHRIST COULD FORGIVE US, WHEN WE REALIZE THAT OUR UNFORGIVENESS SENT HIM TO THE CROSS. THIS HOWEVER IS EXACTLY WHAT HE PROMISES.
1 JOHN 1:9: IF WE CONFESS OUR SINS, HE IS FAITHFUL AND JUST AND WILL FORGIVE US OUR SINS AND PURIFY US FROM ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS.
OUR PROBLEM IS NOT IN REALIZING THAT WE ARE SINNERS, BUT IT IS REALIZING THAT GOD CAN AND DOES FORGIVE OUR SIN COMPLETELY. WHEN THIS HAPPENS IT ALLOWS US TO REFOCUS OUR THOUGHTS, THROUGH CHRIST, TO SOMEONE WHO HAS WRONGED US. IT ALLOWS US TO SEE THEM THROUGH CHRIST’S EYES. PAUL TAUGHT:
ROMANS 12:2: DO NOT CONFORM TO THE PATTERN OF THIS WORLD, BUT BE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND. THEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TEST AND APPROVE WHAT GOD’S WILL IS—HIS GOOD, PLEASING AND PERFECT WILL.
WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON, WILL CONTROL YOUR LIFE.
2. RECOGNIZE WE ARE ALL IMPERFECT. DESPITE WHAT SOME PEOPLE MAY THINK, WE HAVE ALL BLOWN IT. EVERYONE IS A SINNER AND IN NEED OF FORGIVENESS FROM GOD ON A CONTINUAL BASIS. THIS MEANS THAT WE ARE IN NEED OF FORGIVENESS FROM OTHERS ON A CONTINUAL BASIS. PAUL TAUGHT:
ROMANS 7:18-20:
FOR I KNOW THAT GOOD ITSELF DOES NOT DWELL IN ME, THAT IS, IN MY SINFUL NATURE. U FOR I HAVE THE DESIRE TO DO WHAT IS GOOD, BUT I CANNOT CARRY IT OUT. 19 FOR I DO NOT DO THE GOOD I WANT TO DO, BUT THE EVIL I DO NOT WANT TO DO—THIS I KEEP ON DOING. 20 NOW IF I DO WHAT I DO NOT WANT TO DO, IT IS NO LONGER I WHO DO IT, BUT IT IS SIN LIVING IN ME THAT DOES IT
WHEN ASKED HOW MANY TIMES WE SHOULD FORGIVE, JESUS REPLIED, 70 TIMES 7, WHICH COULD MEAN 77, OR 490. WHAT ABOUT THE 491 TIME?
I WAS WATCHING AN EPISODE OF CORNER GAS WHERE THEY WERE DOING A JELLY BEAN IN THE JAR COUNT. THE WINNER GOT A PRIZE OF SOME KIND. THEY WERE IN CORNER GAS COUNTING JELLY BEANS. THE PROBLEM WAS THE CASH REGISTER WASN’T WORKING AND THEY WERE ALWAYS QUOTING PRICES TO CUSTOMERS.
YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENED. COUNTING JELLY BEANS 123,124,125, THAT WILL BE 4.35 JIM, AND POP IS 1.75, BACK TO COUNTING JELLY BEANS 175,176,177. OH NO1,2,3,4 AND WE START AGAIN.
NO 1 CORINTHIANS 13 TELLS US THAT LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS. IT FORGIVES UNTIL THE JOB OF FORGIVING IS DONE.
3. RELEASE YOUR RIGHT TO GET EVEN. YOU MAY BE COMPLETELY RIGHT IN THINKING AN APOLOGY IS IN ORDER, BUT YOU MAY ALSO KNOW THAT IT WILL NEVER COME. JESUS SAY’S LET IT GO. LETTING GO DOES NOT MEAN THE INCIDENT WILL NOT BE DEALT WITH. IT JUST MEANS IT WILL NOT BE DEALT WITH BY YOU.
ROMANS 12:18-19:
IF IT IS POSSIBLE, AS FAR AS IT DEPENDS ON YOU, LIVE AT PEACE WITH EVERYONE. 19 DO NOT TAKE REVENGE, MY DEAR FRIENDS, BUT LEAVE ROOM FOR GOD’S WRATH, FOR IT IS WRITTEN: “IT IS MINE TO AVENGE; I WILL REPAY,” N SAYS THE LORD
4. RESPOND TO EVIL WITH GOOD. THE SECRET OF KNOWING THAT WE’RE FORGIVEN AND THAT WHEN WE’VE FORGIVEN SOMEONE IS WHEN WE START TO PRAY FOR THEM. JESUS TAUGHT US.
LUKE 6:27-28:
BUT TO YOU WHO ARE LISTENING I SAY: LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, DO GOOD TO THOSE WHO HATE YOU, 28 BLESS THOSE WHO CURSE YOU, PRAY FOR THOSE WHO MISTREAT YOU.
CONCLUSION:
TO BE A FORGIVER AS GOD WANTS US TO BE IS TO BE AN EXTRAORDINARY PERSON. PEOPLE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND THE POWER THAT WE HAVE TO FORGIVE LIKE THIS.
ARCHBISHOP DESMOND TUTU SAID, “NO ONE IS BEYOND REDEMPTION.”
AS CHRISTIANS WE LIVE IN THE WORLD OF THE EXTRAORDINARY. AS TUTU’S DAUGHTER SAID, “WE ALL HAVE THE CAPACITY TO BE EXTRAORDINARY.”
OUR CHALLENGE TODAY IS TO BE EXTRAORDINARY FORGIVERS.
